Bloom

by taitofan

Rated T (talk of suicide, blood and vomiting, but ultimately a happy ending)

Disclaimer: I don't own NDRv3 or its characters.

Author's Note: Vague spoilers regarding Kokichi's motivations, but it's an au where the killing game hasn't started, so nothing too bad. And if you don't know what Hanahaki Disease is, it's a fictional disease where the victim of a one-sided love coughs up petals and eventually dies from suffocation if the bloom (and thus their love) is not removed. Of course, if the love is reciprocated...

If you have any CC, please share and I'll listen. Please read, review, and enjoy! Finished 02-26-17

Kokichi Ouma does not entertain the idea that he's in love. There's the threat of a killing game in the air, and he fully intends to make sure the mastermind is caught before anyone's life can be taken. There's no time for infatuation, let alone love.

But when he suddenly starts coughing during breakfast one morning and a tiny white petal speckled with pink falls from his lips, no one asks who Kokichi's one-sided love is for. They all simply look at Shuuichi, who stares at Kokichi with wide, sad eyes.

Everyone knows, and Kokichi hates it.

Days pass and he coughs more often, especially when Shuuichi is anywhere near him.

Everyone stares, pity in their eyes. He doesn't want it.

"Ouma…"

Kokichi stops in his tracks at the sound of a familiar voice. He isn't sure if he's relieved to hear it or not.

"Yes, my beloved Saihara? What's wrong?"

They both know full well what's wrong, but Kokichi can't bring himself to say it out loud. I love you and you don't love me and I'm going to die because of it. No, he won't say it; he refuses. Of everyone, Shuuichi is the person he wants pity from the least. Besides, he got himself into this mess, and he won't make Shuuichi feel guilty about it.

"I just… We've all seen the petals everywhere." Disgusting little blood-stained petals litter the floors, but no one yells at him for it. They're too busy pitying him, he supposes. "Are you alright?"

They both know the answer to that too.

"Of course," he lies, feeling petals tickle this throat. "Never better."

Kiibo can look up the cure for Hanahaki Disease, and Miu assures she can make the tools needed to extract the roots winding around Kokichi's lungs. Kokichi isn't a fool; he knows he can't be a love martyr like so many who contract the disease chose to die as. He doesn't want to lose his feelings for Shuuichi, the kind, intelligent, interesting boy who he cares for so much, but if the disease chokes the life out of him, will Shuuichi be named the blackened? Kokichi doesn't know if the mastermind is twisted enough to make that count, but he won't take the risk. However, there's still a problem.

"Ouma… Even if I follow the instructions perfectly, I'm not a doctor. There's a chance I could puncture a lung." And that would certainly mark Kiibo as the blackened. "But… I know you think I'm not as important as the rest of you, so I'm willing to—"

"No, Kiibo, don't bother." He doesn't even use the nickname he thrust upon Kiibo. Even if he thinks there's more to the robot and their situation than even Kiibo knows, it all seems a bit petty now that he's dying. He refuses to take anyone else's life, robot or not. "I know a way to stop this that won't start the killing game."

He doesn't wait for Kiibo to answer before running off.

He can't get the Hanahaki blossom extracted, and his feelings will never be returned, but he knows of one more way he can fix everything.

"Ouma?" He knows he should have just gone through with it, but it seems cruel to not say goodbye. At least to the person who matters the most. "Are you feeling alright? The coughing fits are getting worse…"

Kokichi wants to grin and lie as he used to, but the heaviness in his chest doesn't allow for much more than a small smile and quiet giggle. Even that sends him into a fit that results in bloodied petals fluttering to the ground.

"I just thought I should tell my beloved Saihara not to worry. I thought of a way to definitely save you from being named my killer." Shuuichi looks confused, and Kokichi's chest aches from more than just the pressure on his lungs. "If I'm already dead before the disease kills me, there won't be a murderer to look for, right? You can't kill someone who already killed himself."

Shuuichi's expression morphs into one of horror as Kokichi's words hit him. Kokichi is at least touched that Shuuichi cares enough not to want him dead, even if he doesn't love him.

"Ouma, no. There has to be another way!" Not one that won't risk Kiibo's life, Kokichi thinks. The other alternative is just as absurd. "We'll think of something, but don't kill yourself."

"I don't have much—" He coughs again, and he wipes away petals from his lips, blood smearing the back of his hand. It's getting worse. "—time. Everyone needs you more than they need me, and I'm going to die either way, so I might as well make sure you don't go down with me. Everything I've learned for far is in my room, so you should look at it after I'm gone. I know you might not believe me, but everything in there is the truth, I swear. I was going to make you work for it, like a game, but I guess that won't happen now, so…"

"No." Shuuichi shakes his head, frowning and looking almost desperate. "No, I won't let you do it. There's another way. Even if you can't get it out, there's another cure."

"You don't—" Another cough, more petals. "Don't feel bad, Saihara. It's my fault for getting too attached, even when I said I couldn't afford to. What kind of idiot falls in love during a killing game? Me, I guess." He tries to giggle, but it hurts too much. He really needs to go. "Goodbye Saihara."

He tries to leave like he did with Kiibo, but Shuuichi reaches out and grabs his arms, tugging him closer. Kokichi can't even enjoy it when he's brought into a tight hug. He's in pain and doesn't have much time, and why can't Shuuichi see he's doing this for him?

"Saihara, let go, I—"

Suddenly, Kokichi can't breathe. It feels like he's going to throw up, but not like it's been with the petals. There's something big, something solid, and he pushes away from Shuuichi and falls to his knees, gagging and coughing and trying to get it out. He doesn't want to die and he doesn't want anyone else to either. He wants to live and tell Shuuichi everything everyone already knows and get out of this terrible game, and…!

He gags one last time and finally throws up. Among the petals and blood lies a withered bloom, its roots dark and shriveled. Kokichi shakily looks up at Shuuichi, who looks relieved.

"I told you there was another way." Kokichi stares in disbelief. The blossom is gone, but he still finds it hard to breathe. "I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I never wanted you to be in so much pain, but it wasn't until I thought about what I'd do if you were gone that I realized just how much you mean to me."

Kokichi glances down at the flower that almost took his life, then back up at the boy who saved it. His eyes water, and for once, he isn't faking it as the tears drip down his cheeks. He's alive.

He's swiftly on his feet and in Shuuichi's arms, letting down all of his walls as he allows Shuuichi to whisper nonsensical nothings to him as he holds him close. He still thinks it's a bad idea to fall in love during a killing game, but at least he's not the only idiot around who is intent on making poor decisions.

And if he and Shuuichi are making the bad decisions together, well, he thinks he can live with that.

Kokichi Ouma was almost killed by the love he tried to deny. The threat that someone could start the killing game any day still hangs in the air, but he and Shuuichi work together to figure out who the mastermind is. He still finds it hard to trust anyone, but he makes an exception for his beloved detective.

And when they sit together during their meals and Kokichi giggles at something Shuuichi says and doesn't cough once, no one says anything. They already know.

Kokichi is okay with that.