***First time writing a fic for this fandom, I hope people enjoy & please leave reviews!

This fic is set at present time, carrying on from Series 31 Episode 24 'Slipping Under' the characters are not mine and I do not claim that they are. I'm following the current storyline but from here onwards I'm going with the flow.***

She shivered in the cool breeze, her own arms holding herself tightly in a somewhat comforting grip. She had no idea who she was any more, she said it herself to Charlie and it absolutely terrified her. She was Connie Beauchamp by name but inside she was a swirling mess, balancing so dangerously close to the edge of a breakdown. Her teeth chattered in the bitter cold but she didn't care anymore, she felt numb and hollow.

"Thought you might need this." Charlie's voice reached her ears but failed to register anywhere else. Her black coat lay limp in his hand, realising that she wasn't quite with it he rejoined her on the bench outside like he'd done earlier. He hated seeing her like this, a shell of the feisty clinical lead he'd once known. "You'll catch your death out here, please, put this on." Once again she remained silent, forcing him to drape it around her petite, fragile frame himself. "This isn't your fault, Connie."

"It's all my fault." Her quiet, matter of fact tone took him by surprise. He honestly thought they were going to be sat in silence until it was dark. It wasn't far off that in fact, he hoped to have her back inside by 8pm otherwise he feared she'd be sat here all night.

"You weren't to know things would end up like this." He pulled her close again, rubbing her back as one would a child's. "Jacob's been looking for you, he's worried."

"I don't need him to worry about me."

Charlie remained hushed, he knew Connie and the way she was behaving right now he knew there'd be no point arguing with her. Just like Sam said, she was blinkered almost all of the time making it damn near impossible to get through to her.

"Look, I'm not going to hassle you about it all night. Grace is angry, she's been through severe trauma, as have you in a different way. What I do know is that in there is a little girl who's probably terrified out of her mind and lashing out at people the same way you've been lashing out." He smiled briefly. "She's definitely her Mother's daughter." Noticing Connie's extremely weak and momentary smile he squeezed her tightly. "Come on, I'm freezing out here. I've just got back from Tenerife don't forget!" He laughed and motioned to stand up, she was still in his embrace and followed his lead. "I think we need a cuppa."

Re-entering the hospital she felt like everybody's eyes were pinned on her, which was a great exaggeration as it was a busy night in the ED and everyone was one hundred percent focused on their duties. Charlie ushered her into Elle's (soon to be Connie's) office. Closing the door behind him he lead her to the couch and let her take a seat.

"I'll go grab us both a hot drink and see if I can find out what's going on with Grace. Don't move." He warned kindly as he left her in the silence of her nicely furnished office.

Her head was pounding, from stress perhaps, she was unsure. All she was concentrated on at this moment in time were those 5 words Grace had written for herself and Sam to see. This is all your fault.

Every time she re-saw it her whole body winced and her eyes stung with sadness. Was it really her fault? And the look Sam gave her, the same look when Grace fell down the stairs as a toddler. Maybe he was right, maybe she wasn't fit to be a mother? Her brain ached with angry thoughts as she began to hug herself again. Self comforting was something she was used to, even from being a child.

"I can't believe you." Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt as she jumped at the sound of his voice, the door flying open quickly.

"Sam-" She began to plead but he'd had enough.

"Our daughter is lying up there unable to walk, unable to talk and no mother in sight. You're unreal! How is it that she's experiencing all of this alone and you still manage to focus on your own bitter, petty wars with other people?" He spat angrily and for the first time their roles were completely and utterly reversed. He was venomously attacking her with words as she sat speechless, her eyes lowered and avoiding his at all cost.

"I don't know what-" Her unusually quaint words were halted once more.

"There you go again." He laughed unhumorously, swiping his hand down his face with exasperation. "It's all me me me with you, isn't it? Hm? How about you forget about yourself and how you're feeling for five minutes, Connie, and do what our daughter needs you to do! Be a Mother, Connie! Be present! Sit by her side, just BE with her! Stop chasing medical staff around the hospital demanding they fix her, stop targeting anyone at all involved and pinning the blame on them! Accept it, it's happened, our daughter is struggling and she needs her parents at her side." His voice softened towards the end, noticing that she wasn't responding. "Just take those bloody blinkers off and support her the way she needs supporting."

"I can't take her home. I can't do it." She stood quickly, her arms still wrapped tightly around herself. The way she edged away from him instilled a feeling of slight guilt within him. Being volatile and loud wasn't his style and making her feel threatened was definitely not his intention but sometimes that was the only way he could get through to her. He noted she wasn't acting herself either, he hadn't received her icy glare or razor sharp comebacks yet and usually they would have been sparring by now but she wasn't indulging.

"You know what? Maybe she should come back with me, I think you need some time to clear your head and get back to reality." He shook his head with annoyance and left her office almost balling Charlie over in the process.

"Woah, watch where you going. I could have scalded myself." He motioned to the two hot takeout cups in his hands.

"Sorry, Charlie." Exhaling shakily he moved to step around the elder nurse but his occupied hand stopped him.

"Can I speak to you, in private?"

Sam knew where this was going but did as Charlie said and headed towards the relatives room down the corridor from Connie's office. Once the door was closed and they were engulfed in silence, Charlie's voice cracked the quiet air sharply. "How long have you known Connie?"

"What?" He squinted with slight confusion, prompting Charlie to repeat his very simple question.

"Connie. How long have you known her?"

"10 maybe 11 years, why?" He took a seat knowing he was in for a long talk, unable to hide his irritation.

"That's a long time." Charlie smiled as he spoke. "And she's always been the same way, right? Stern, cold, hard, some would even say icy."

"Yes, that what we used to call her." Sam looked down, sort of apologetically. "The Ice Queen, Queen of Hearts, Mr Beauchamp, Connie the Barbarian, Ball-breaker..." His voice trailed away before finishing his sentence off. "The list goes on."

"Do you think she's always been like that?" Charlie's question caused Sam's brow to furrow. He was pulling some Charlie Fairhead shit on him, he'd heard about it before and now it was actually happening to him.

"Well, nobody just decides to be like that Charlie. That's just how she is, I know that but that doesn't excuse-"

"That's not where I'm trying to aim this conversation." The older man's voice was so calm, it made Sam sit back further, awaiting the rest of this talk.

"So, what then?"

"Do you imagine a young child acting like this?" Sam shook his head lightly in response to the latest question. "Perhaps a teenager?"

"Maybe, to some degree? Look, Charlie, I don't know where this is going and why it's important but my daughter is upstairs, scared and alone so if you don't mind, I'll be leaving." With one swift movement, Sam was out of the chair and heading towards the door when Charlie's wise and relaxed voice stopped him suddenly.

"Sometimes, the best way to avoid getting hurt or getting your heart broken is to simply pretend you don't have a heart."

Sam was frozen in the doorway, unable to summon up any kind of response.

"She's breaking, Sam. She's hurting and she won't let anyone near enough to help her. You know, I always thought I was normal in the way I perceived people but I instantly connected with Connie whereas everyone else here hasn't been able to get through to her the way I have. I don't know why that is, but I do know she's fragile. This icy persona she's adopted isn't the real Connie. Something's made her this way, forced her to apply her own defence mechanism. She protects herself with that cold, heartless front and it's not working anymore. It's broken and she's scared to death. Don't you ever wonder how she got this way?" Charlie had risen to his feet as he was talking, edging past Sam and through the open door. Turning back to a speechless Sam, he finalised his caring presentation. "Because I know that as soon as I met her that's the first thing I thought, so why does nobody else bother to scratch beneath the surface with her?" He searched Sam's face for an answer but it was crumpled with thought. "Just a thought." He paused. "Anyway, these are getting cold, I'd better get back to her."

***It's super, super, super short, I know. I just wanted a short snippet to see how people react to it and whether anyone would be interested in me continuing this fic. Normal chapters will be a lot longer than this one and things will get quite dramatic and chaotic. Please review! :) ***