Entertaining these Compulsive Liars

"...S...S..."

The man in green has a darkened face, and he seems to be holding back tears. I cannot begin to comprehend his feelings right now. Did I do the right thing with my apology?

"Kazuma, if you keep making those 'susu' noises, Megumin's gonna wet herself again." Quack.

My, what lack of tact.

"Hey, Aqua! Don't make it sound like I have a wetting problem at this age!" Tong! The little red girl unsuccessfully tries to make her case.

Okay, let's ignore the sobbing man and continue with this humor skit.

"[STEAL]!" The man cries out in between sobs.

"Ah! My hagoromo! Kazuma, give it back!" He just used magic to apport the blue girl's translucent, pink hagoromo into his clutches. Hey, I could probably learn that [Steal] skill if I so choose.

"I'm gonna burn this thing when I get home!"

"No! Waaah!"

The two of them run off. The four of us remain: me, Yunyun, the small red archwizard, and the yellow crusader. The archwizard is piggybacking on the crusader now.

"Will he be okay?" I ask his two teammates.

"I don't really get it [bzzzt], but if it's Kazuma, he'll probably return to his normal self by tomorrow, right?" Bzbzbzzzt! The crusader, Darkness, replies amidst buzzer noises.

"Yeah, he's a man after all. As if he'd cry over something so silly." Tong! The archwizard, Megumin, adds, puffing her chest. No, but he did cry. Your impression of a man is somewhat biased, isn't it? What are you so proud of? He's not you, is he?

Did these two actually understand his feelings? They may be in the same party as him, but unless they came from the same world as him like I did, I doubt they can fathom the magnitude of his opportunity loss.

"And what about the blue girl?" I ask.

"Aqua?"

"What about her?"

The two brushed off my concern with scary faces. Ah, they seem quite pissed for Satou-san's sake. What good girls. Or no, what bad girls for making such scary expressions. I wouldn't want to be in their crosshairs.

Yunyun is scared too. Has she ever seen her rival in such a mood? If possible, I want to get her far away from these liars.

"Say, Yunyun-chan, now that we've met them, what do you want to do next? Maybe clothes shopping? Or teaching me magic over lunch?"

Yunyun blushes when I mention magic. She knows which magic I'm talking about.

"What a good idea!" Tong! The bronze bell, Megumin, interjects. "I'm starving from coming home after a long trip." Gong gong gong!

"But weren't you snacking on the treat Kazuma bought for you the entire way backーack!?" Megumin increases her grip around Darkness's neck. "On second thought, I'm also kind of hungry [bzzzt]. Mind if we join you two?"

I do mind. I can't let these two know about breast transfer magic.

"O-Of course not! It's been my lifelong dream to hang out at a cafe with a group of friends!" Yunyun smiles. Oh, Yunyun. Very well, I'll try again another day.

Xxxxx

We're all at a cafe now, sitting at a booth. Megumin and I have the window seats, while Darkness and Yunyun respectively have the aisle seats next to us.

Yunyun introduces me as Okuu-san again. I'm somewhat annoyed that I can't choose what these two call me by myself, but at least she went with my coolest nickname in my opinion.

I order whatever Yunyun recommends. The two across from us do the same. It seems Yunyun frequents this place by herself and has memorized the menu. As expected, should I say?

While we eat, the three girls take turns asking me about my background.

"So how do you know Kazuma?" A tough question right off the bat. I guess I should just answer truthfully, right?

"I don't really know him too well. I just saw him once right before he died. I didn't even find out his name until afterwards."

"I see, I see." Ftang! No, you don't.

"I mean, he ended up dying because of me, so I killed myself to apologize."

Silence.

"...Well, he does die for the dumbest reasons sometimes [bzzzt], but he has Aqua to resurrect him every time." So I probably died for nothing, is what she's insinuating.

"Resurrect? She didn't resurrect him that time. I don't even think she was there. I spent months contemplating what to do."

"Huh? Then who resurrected you?" Darkness asks.

Did someone have to resurrect us? Wait, if that's the case...

"Eris-chan resurrected me." I can't speak for him though.

"Eris as in the goddess, Eris-sama? Although, I have to say, using -chan for a goddess is a bit..."

I don't understand what she's saying. Why wouldn't I use -chan for my beloved little sister?

"I guess that makes sense [bzzzt]. Eris-sama is very benevolent."

We leave it at that.

After we finish our meals, Yunyun excuses herself to the restroom. I intend to go with her, but the other two hold me back.

"Say, Okuu-san, is that your real name?" Megumin asks.

"Nope. I've said it to Yunyun-chan too, but Okuu is the name of my bat. I'm just using as my nickname too because it sounds cooler than my real name."

"...I hate to say it, but that does sound really cool." She admits.

"Thanks. Megumin's name is cool too." Ding. Why did I lie like that?

"Oh, and my name? Darkness?" E-err! An error sound pops out. So she's lying about her name as well?

"Well, we both have really cool nicknames then, I guess." I say, scratching my head.

Darkness looks shocked. "How did you know that? Are you a mind reading devil like Vanir-san?"

Now where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, from that other blonde person whose nickname also starts with D. I wonder if they're related.

"Something like that." I reply.

"Okay, let's cut to the chase. What are you really after by being Yunyun's friend?" Megumin probes.

I can't just say breast transfer magic now, can I? Especially in front of someone who looks like she needs it too. In fact, why are you so concerned about what your rival-slash-best friend does? ...Oh, lol. She's that type of liar.

"Hm, safety maybe?" The two look confused. I try to explain. "You see, Yunyun and I got wrapped up in something sinister recently, so we thought it'd be a good idea to stick together, so we could protect each other." Ding. More like, so she could protect me. But they don't have to know that.

"Something sinister?" Darkness looks concerned.

"Like tar golems." I confide.

"What are those?" They look at each other, but neither of them knows.

"I don't really know either. Ask Dust-san." I suggest.

"Oh, if it's related to Dust, then it makes sense if it's sinister." They agree. Dust-san is quite the infamous character, isn't he?

"But basically, coming back to point, that girl has really bad luck when it comes to making friends [gong], okay? So I can't help but be concerned [gong] when she introduces someone as a new friend." Is she really acting out of concern? Or is it something else?

"You're starting to sound like an overprotective older [bzzzt] sister, Megumin." Darkness adds. Heh.

"Rest assured, Yunyun-chan is in safe hands with me."

They're probably still suspicious of me, but I ease their suspicion by being as honest as I can.

Yunyun returns from the restroom to see the three of us chatting amicably. She hesitates to return to the booth. I don't want her to feel left out, so I call her back right away. She's still my favorite person here after all.

"Oh yeah, what magic were you going to teach Okuu, Yunyun?" Her rival asks. Ah. I forgot I said something like that. Yunyun hesitates.

"Uh, it was [Wind Breath], right?" I cover for her. I faintly remember Hunter-san mentioning that could be used with my bat to launch pebbles. See, my memory isn't that bad. Actually, I think I got super lucky in remembering the name [Wind Breath].

"That's right! That's supposed to help with your bat, right?" Since Yunyun's smart, she connects the dots easily. Or maybe she heard what my bat can do from Hunter-san. Either way, I'm impressed.

Yunyun's [Wind Breath] is quite strong, so we head outside to see it. She whips up a whirlwind, blowing some fallen leaves away from the front of the cafe.

"Oh!" We all clap our hands. I take out my adventurers card and tap on the newly added [Wind Breath] to learn it. I secretly learn Satou-san's [Steal] as well before putting the card away. I gained just enough points from the meal to learn both.

"Now you try it out!" Yunyun looks excited.

I load one pebble into my bat and infuse my magic into it.

"[Wind Breath]!"

Although I probably shouldn't have pointed it upwards for the test. Since my magic power is still very low, the pebble only goes up about one meter before making a small arc and coming back downーright toward Darkness's head.

"Catch it, Darkness!" We all shout. But she fails, and it bounces off the top of headーand hits Megumin's head too, right next to her... Oops.

"...Are you two okay?"

"You..." They don't look amused. It was seriously just an accident though.

"...Fufufu." The tension is broken by Yunyun's giggling. The three of them break out into laughter.

Phew, I was afraid they'd start hating me.

Xxxxx

The four of us visit a clothing store next. Yunyun takes us to one that's newly opened. No one asks her how she knew about it or how she knew where the cosplay section was, but we all have fun trying on different costumes in the fitting rooms and coming out one by one.

"Guess who!" Megumin strikes a pose. She's wearing a green mant, white shirt, gray pants, brown belt, and brown boots.

"...Me?" I point at myself.

"That wrong! [Tong!] I'm supposed to be Kazuma!" Oh. I couldn't tell because you're the wrong gender. Better luck next time?

Darkness's cosplay is a lot easier to recognize. It had a red ribbon around her neck, a white crop top with black shoulders and sleeve cuffs, low-rise jean shorts, and short brown boots.

"Oh, it's Luna-san." It suits her quite well.

"When you wear it, it looks a lot more erotic." Ftang!

"Stop saying that! I don't want to be in charge of all things erotic!" Claxons! My head hurts again. These two need to learn when to not talk. Take a lesson from Yunyun. Speaking of which...

"Don't tell me you took my idea." Megumin complains. Yunyun's wearing the same thing as her rival.

"No, not really [ding]. I just thought, it could be Kazuma-san, but it could also be Okuu-san as well."

Awww, that's so sweet. Even though I know you were initially thinking of him, I'm still flattered. That said, it's a wonder why they have so many Satou Kazuma costumes in stock.

Finally, it's my turn to reveal myself. I couldn't find the exact outfit I was looking for, so I put together a long-sleeve black blouse, a small pink tie, and a pink miniskirt. They're not exactly the same, but they're close enough. I couldn't find the stockings to complete the zettai ryouiki either, so the whole outfit feels incomplete.

Yunyun gasps when she sees it. That's right. I'm cosplaying as you now, Yunyun. She rushes over to me and gives me a nice hug. "I'm so happy!" She says. This isn't so bad. It feels nice... Her breasts are squeezing against mine.

"So what do you think, should I get this much now and just try to find the stockings later?" I contemplate.

"You're really going to buy it?" Yunyun is surprised. The other two girls are as well. Was I really the only one planning to actually buy something from this shop? "If so, I can give you some of my stockings. But as I thought, wearing the same outfit might be kind of embarrassing."

"Then you can wear the Satou KazuーI mean the me costume whenever I wear this one. Then our enemies will be confused as to why I'm using high-tier magic or why Yunyun's wielding a bat."

"Wow, Okuu-san thinks of everything!" Yunyun's impressed.

Wait, did I really say that last part out loud? Oh well.

Megumin and Darkness are inspired by our purchases and buy the costumes they tried on as well. Will their teammates be surprised?

Xxxxx

...So I'm basically tabling Aqua and Kazuma's side for now, and just playing with the other two. Their dialogue was sometimes easy and sometimes difficult to come up with.

I'm still unsure of how to approach Kazuma's reaction. Hopefully this one worked. I'm thinking of starting the next chapter from Kazuma's POV, but I don't know how well that'll pan out.