This fic is dedicated to CallMeRandom. Katherine Pierce returns to Mystic Falls, to raise hell, literally. One wedding, one death and a little taunting of her comatose doppleganger are on the menu for tonight's course. With a side of Kai Parker. Bon appetite!

Disclaimer: I do not own the CW's The Vampire Diaries, all rights go to Julie Plec, Kevin Williamson and the original writer, L. J. Smith.

Hello, my lovely readers. Call. Me. Random asked me to write a Kat-centric fic about a month ago and knowing that Kat would be back in last night's episode of TVD inspired me. On with the show…

The Bitch is Back:

Warning: Major Character death!

Katherine Pierce sighed. She was so damned bored. When she first arrived in hell, well, it was hell. Literal flames engulfed her and she felt agonizing pain that could only be equaled by listening to the sound of Niklaus Mikaelson detail how wonderful he was. Cue eye roll. Second only to listening to Elena Gilbert whine, incessantly, about whether it was Stefan or Damon Salvatore who was the epic love of her life. Wah!

Get a life, Lesser Me!

But then there was light, and, oh, yes, it was delicious. None of her new friends in the down under, and I mean, really, really down under got it at first. Katherine. She'd never been a slow learner. She'd seen her opportunity and grabbed it by the reins. Her high heels sent her flying out of the depths of hell, on the heights of that agony-fueled scream, and into the world of the living.

Smirking to herself, Katherine walked the streets of Mystic Hell, rolling her neck and yawning. Hell, could be exhausting. But this, this was going to be fun. Capital F, thank you, very much.

Her first stop was at Whitmore College. Katherine figured that it would be good for a laugh to see the look of horror on Elena's face when she was confronted with her arch-rival—back from the dead. Of course, just Kat's luck, she got to the college to find some other girls now lived in the dorm room formerly inhabited by Elena, Caroline and Bonnie. Not how she'd hoped to use her first day. Oh, well. If you don't at first succeed: dot, dot, dot.

Katherine hitched a ride with a cute boy and had him drop her off at the Salvatore's. Damon and Stefan were not at home. Too bad. Katherine would have loved to see the look on Damon's face, or even better, Stefan's. He must have been crippled with guilt from killing her by now. No matter what he said, Katherine knew that Stefan loved her, and that he would not be able to face what he did.

Walking around the house, Katherine found an open window and cursed her stupid human body. "Shit!" she groaned, falling onto the floor. "Son of a bitch!" she cried, breaking one of the heels off her boot. "You're kidding me with this right now!" Ripping her boots off, Katherine walked through the great room, and up the stairs, heading straight for Stefan's room. Pausing when she saw something out place, she found a child's toy. "What in the hell?" she cried.

Cocking her head to the side, Katherine peered down the hall. Her feet carried her to a room and she felt her heart beating quickly in her chest, a snarl on her lips. When she opened the door to reveal a pair of tiny beds, Katherine threw the toy as hard as she could at the wall. It fell onto the floor without the desired effect. Letting out a howl of rage, Katherine turned back around, and ran up to Stefan's room, yanking the door open.

Katherine hurried over to the closet, spotting a dress, she sniffed it and then let out a cry of disgust. Turning around, she spotted a framed photograph and her vision blurred as she stepped over to it, her breathing came out frantically.

"Caroline?" she snarled, dropping the pic on the nightstand. "Caroline Forbes? Is he kidding himself? Like Klaus won't gut him for that," she scoffed. Walking around the room, Katherine found a pair of discarded boots. "Thanks, Care," she said, slipping them on. They were a little big on her, but they'd do, for now.

"Now, where in the hell is my doppleganger?" Katherine asked the room. Making her way back to Damon's room, she went inside and yanked Damon's closet open to find… Nothing. Not a stitch of Elena's poor taste stood out amongst the everything-that-is-black-and-over-priced that comprised Damon's wardrobe. Turning around, Katherine opened his dresser, finding nothing there either.

Gritting her teeth, Katherine knew that Elena would not run away from both Salvatore brothers. That just wasn't her style. She and Katherine shared that trait, they just couldn't stay away from them.

Katherine blew out a frustrated breath and then opened Damon's nightstand. Her eyes were drawn to a notebook. "Since when does Damon keep a journal?" she asked herself. Plopping down on his bed, she began to read aloud. "Dear, Elena…" Beginning to chuckle, Katherine grinned. This was too good. Looks like Little Miss Goody-Goody got hers. Thank you, Kai. She knew she liked him for a reason. Too bad he hadn't told her about this one. Maybe it was his obsession with Bonnie Bennett and his fear that Katherine would kill her, just for kicks.

Bonnie was not her target. Well, not today. Caroline, yes: Elena: definitely. Klaus: you're on my list, too, and I can't wait to say "Hello." First off; finding Elena.

It didn't take Katherine long to find out which one of Elena's idiot friends would spill that detail to their diary. Caroline: always the weak link in the chain. Her next target of choice.

"Thank you, Caroline," Katherine said to the empty room with a smirk. She slipped the journal back into Caroline's nightstand, exactly where she found it—hate to give away the surprise—and then hopped off Stefan's bed.

Striding out the bedroom door, Katherine stopped long enough to find the keys to Stefan's car. It was so nice of him to leave those behind. Too bad he didn't seem to still have the Porsche. She would have liked to be behind the wheel.

The night felt full of possibility as she drove to Elena's location. Katherine got out of the car and inspected the tiny house where her nemesis lay in a spell-induced coma. Not much to look at but it's not like poor, little Elena could make a choice about her accommodations.

Walking up to the door, Katherine tried the knob. Locked. Of course it would be; if someone else were here, with Sleeping Boring. Katherine took several steps backwards and then peered inside the window. There stood Bonnie Bennett, having quite the conversation with herself. Looks like the witch had lost her marbles.

Grinning, Katherine moved back, away from the house and looked around. There was more than one way to coax the girl out of the house. Katherine spotted a rock and picked it up. She hefted it in her hand. There was a time that if she threw a pebble; it would shatter the window of the house. Now, she had to work with slightly heavier equipment.

The rock flew in a satisfying arc through the open air, and made a wonderful cracking sound, piercing the air with its violence as shards of glass flew like ice in winter's harshest storms.

Soon Bonnie came running out of the house, her body turning in a circle, her hand clenched around something. Katherine cursed her lack of vampire sight. She barely made out a candle in the girl's hand. A dark object. Looks like Bonnie's lost her powers, again. That could be useful information later.

Picking up another rock, Katherine threw it to Bonnie's left and watched the girl's head whip around. This gave Katherine the opportunity to sneak into the house, undetected. Bonnie's spirit friend might have seen her come inside but Katherine knew how to shut him up since she had one foot on earth and one in hell.

The man looked at Katherine. "Who the bloody hell are you?" he snapped, glaring at Katherine.

"The person who's going to tell Cade where you are if you breathe one word to your little girlfriend. Or you can watch me gut her like a fish in her sleep," Katherine retorted, cocking her head to the side and giving him a wide smile. "Do we have a deal?"

The sound of Bonnie's footsteps made Katherine retreat, further into the house, her eyes on the stranger. "Enzo, did you see anything weird?" Bonnie called, her gaze on the new ghost.

"Nothing, love. It's just the two of us. I promise," Enzo said, holding his arms out to the former witch.

Bonnie didn't look so certain. "So rocks are now flying around and that doesn't sound like there's someone out here, with us?" she demanded, scrunching up her nose.

Enzo grinned. "Perhaps we've made another ghost jealous with our stolen time together." He looked around. "Go away, go bother another happy couple!" he yelled. Then he looked down at Bonnie. "See. They're gone," he reassured her. "Come here."

Bonnie smiled and walked over, wrapping her arms around Enzo. "I love you, so much," she whispered.

"I love you more," Enzo replied and Katherine gagged. Could this get any more saccharine? It was almost as bad as when Stefan used to follow Elena around like a puppy dog. Ugh! Bored now.

Rolling her eyes, Katherine waited for her moment. She had to endure hours of Bonnie's talking to Enzo and dancing with him. Oh, please, make it end! She fell asleep at some point and woke up, with a start, half-expecting to be back in hell. Nope. Not hell. Close enough.

Bonnie laid on the couch, wrapped in Enzo's arms while Katherine stretched, yawned and then went to look for Elena. When she caught sight of Elena's coffin, she grinned. Oh, this was going to be fun.

Opening the coffin lid, she rolled her eyes at her lesser me. "What are you wearing?" she asked Elena. It was much more fun to taunt her when Elena could reply. Then again, not having to listen to the sound of her voice was good, too. "Are you lonely in there?" Katherine asked, "That's okay. I think there's room for one more."

Carefully, Katherine climbed into the coffin, and pulled the lid down. Getting comfortable, she placed her hand over Elena's and began to chant until she opened her eyes to the inside of Elena's conscious. Oh, yes, this was exactly what she needed.

"Damon?" Elena cried, stepping through the open door of the Salvatore home. "Damon, where are you?" she called, looking afraid. "Damon?" Her feet moved up the stairs and down the hall. Her lips opened, her eyes widened and then narrowed as she approached Damon's bedroom. The door hung slightly ajar.

Elena's fingers slid around the doorknob and then she pulled it open before letting out a cry of shock. Damon moved atop a woman, his lips on the woman's lips before he moved out of the way and Bonnie was revealed under her best friend's boyfriend.

"Did you think he'd wait around for you when he could have anyone else he pleased?" Katherine inquired. "And why not whoever was just hanging around. Poor Bonnie. She's been so lonely. Oh, wait, we're about to get to the best part," Katherine said, leaning closer to Elena and gripping her head, forcing her to watch.

Damon's head dipped down and he sunk his teeth into Bonnie's neck. The girl's eyelids flew open and she clawed at Damon, screaming at him: "Stop! Damon, stop! What are you doing! Please, Damon, stop…" her words trailed off while Elena sobbed, her body quaking.

"No, Damon wouldn't do that!" Elena shouted, jerking away from Katherine and whirling around to face her. "And you're dead."

"Yes. And no. Great news, Lesser Me. I'm back. And you, well, you're still in your little coffin, sleeping-the-sleep-of-those-everyone-who-are-better-off-being-forgetten-about." Katherine grinned at Elena who shook her head.

"I don't believe you," Elena snapped.

"Okay. Fine. I have no idea what Damon's up to. But I do know what Stefan's doing. Or, really, who he's doing, and, trust me, neither of us are looking forward to this vision," Katherine grabbed Elena and yanked her toward Stefan's room.

Elena groaned when Katherine shoved her into Stefan's room. Caroline stood in front of a mirror, looking at her bridal gown and fussing with her hair. "I can't believe Elena's not going to be here," Caroline said to Bonnie who came over with a bouquet of flowers.

"Caroline's getting married?" Elena whispered, gulping.

"Yeah. Guess who's the groom?" Katherine taunted her.

Elena looked up when Stefan walked by her in a suit. "Stefan?" Elena whispered, her eyebrows scrunching together. "I knew they were together, Katherine. He has a right to be happy."

"Really? With that?" Katherine waved a hand at Caroline, shaking her head. "She's still the same insecure, spoiled brat that she ever was. Do you think she'll make Stefan happy?" Katherine demanded. "Let me show you their happy ending."

Gasping, Elena looked around at them. "Where are we?"

"We're in New Orleans," Katherine said, waving around herself. "See, Caroline never could resist the pull of Klaus Mikaelson and, so, she eventually came to him when she needed help. One day he called in a favor of his own and Caroline never returned to Mystic Falls."

"Caroline left Stefan for Klaus?" Elena shook her head. "No, she wouldn't do that," she said, shaking her head again. "Caroline is a good person. She'd never hurt Stefan like that."

"Oh, that's the thing. Caroline didn't leave Stefan. See, there he is," Katherine pointed at Stefan walking down a street. His hair had turned grey and he walked with a limp. "He's human now. Bonnie gave him the cure and it's been twenty years. Because he stayed with Caroline; he never had children. The one thing he did that he wanted to do: He became a doctor and New Orleans is in one hell of a need for one with all of those vamps, wolves and witches tearing the humans to pieces, every day. It's a wonder he's still alive."

"Why is he limping?" Elena wondered aloud, pressing a hand to the glass of the apartment overlooking the French Quarter.

"Oh, that. That's from where he had an unfortunate run-in, in the bayou with a wolf pack. Caroline found him the next day, half-dead. She'd been too busy helping Klaus with something, maybe rearranging the antiques in his bedroom…" Katherine grinned while Elena continued to watch Stefan.

"Why didn't Damon stop Stefan from coming here?" Elena cried. "He wouldn't let his brother suffer."

"Damon's dead, Elena," Katherine snapped. "In this world where Stefan made this stupid mistake, he went off and his brother acting like the idiot he is, got himself killed. You're going to wake up to no Salvatore brothers. Sorry. Not."

Elena glared at Katherine. "I don't believe you. You're wrong. Caroline's not going to do any of that."

"Well, I bet you think that Caroline doesn't have kids, either. But she does. Two little girls. Looks like the vampire is out-doing the human with a score of 2-0 in the mommy department." Katherine let out a laugh when Elena frowned. "And Bonnie's lost her powers. Again. Got herself a vampire lover, too. You remember Enzo. Oh, wait, now, I do, too. Didn't he once put a plastic bag over Jer's head and try to kill the little jackass? Yeah, I think he did. And that's the guy your BFF pulled into her bed. That's funny." Laughing, Katherine smiled at Elena who looked like she might cry. "I'm pretty sure they were even planning on getting married. Shows how much loyalty Bonnie feels toward you in your coma."

Katherine leaned forward. "All of your friends have moved on with their lives. They don't care what happens to you anymore, Elena."

Elena began to cry and Katherine felt awesome. "It's been fun but I have plans to maim and torture your friends for sending me to hell. Good-bye, Elena, enjoy your human life."

Katherine heard Elena scream as she slipped out of her head just as easily as she'd entered it. Opening the coffin, Katherine climbed out of it and then closed it. No one would ever know she was ever there. Except for Enzo but he didn't count.

Yes, Katherine Pierce had plans. She wanted Stefan back, or short of having Stefan back, she wanted to make sure that he felt as miserable as she did ever since he killed her.

Katherine had to wait. She hated waiting. But it did allow her to keep tabs on the Mystic Fallers. Alaric Saltzman, back from the dead and father to Caroline's kids. Or should she say Kai's dead sister's kids who Caroline got be a mommy to. What a joke. Caroline a mom? A little vampire mommy. How cute? She could just eat the other mothers when they talked about her precious little off-spring. And Damon…? Who was he kidding anyway? Acting like the good guy? Not his style. Matty Blue Eyes as the new Sheriff. Mm… Katherine admired him from afar.

Stefan. Her Stefan. He was planning his wedding with her other nemesis: Caroline. Ugh. What a big mistake she'd made in making the girl into a vampire. Katherine had thought they could be friends. Looks like girls can't stick together after all. Not when they went after the same guy.

"What's up?" Kai called, coming over to plop down in a seat across from Katherine who glowered at him. She'd been enjoying the quiet of the Mystic Grill and did not want company. "Oh, don't give me that face. Don't tell me, you heard that the wedding is on?" Kai pouted at Katherine who snarled under her breath. "By the way, I like the new look."

Katherine brushed a lock of dark hair that wasn't her own behind her shoulder. It made it easier to walk around town undiscovered if she could hitch a ride in someone else's skin. For now. She'd be going back to her own body soon enough. After her task was complete.

Kai began to whistle and Katherine rolled her eyes. "Would you stop that?" she seethed. "I'm trying to think."

Holding up his hands, Kai grinned. "Sorry. I'm bored. Want to kill someone. Or more specifically, my remaining family members. Cute, little things, but pesky."

Katherine smirked. "I've got something better in mind."

"What's that?" Kai asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Want to be a date when I crash a wedding?" Katherine asked, leaning toward Kai whose lips spread into a wide smile. "I promise you can dance with Bonnie, all night long, after we're done."

"Sounds like a plan," Kai said, falling back in his seat. "What do you need me to do first?"

"How about a little de-linking spell? I think it will be the perfect present for the groom," Katherine told Kai who looked pleased.

"Your wish is my command, your highness," Kai made a half-bow, awkwardly, due to being constricted inside the booth they sat at.

The wedding began on a sunny day. Not a cloud in sight. Wonderful weather to have a perfect day that would turn into a wonderful tragedy, for some, a comedy for others.

Katherine kept her gag reflex kicking in as she sat in the back, watching Damon stand beside Stefan, a huge smile plastered on his smug face, while he inspected the crowd, trying to pick her out. Good luck, you idiot, she snapped internally.

If Damon knew who she was, he'd lose his mind knowing she sat only two rows away from him, on the groom's side, of course. Kai would show up later. Might as well let this travesty take place so the really fun part would be when Stefan and Caroline thought they'd made it through the day. Oh, they would have no idea what hit them.

Caroline came down the aisle looking like any small town bride. Hmmm. Somehow Katherine thought that Caroline Forbes would have compelled a top designer to give her a jaw-dropping couture dress, not something off-the-rack. Looks like Caroline would not be having her dream wedding after all. Smirking, Katherine settled into her chair, feeling a tiny bit of satisfaction. She gritted her teeth through the vows, rolling her eyes and wanting to vomit as they kissed.

The only bright side was the champagne during the reception which she had to down quickly before she slipped out of the reception early. Picking up a gallon of gasoline that no one had noticed because it was hidden behind a cumbersome flower pot, Katherine handed the thing to Kai. He walked with her around the perimeter of the reception hall and poured the gas around it. Katherine pulled out a box of matches from her purse, and then lit one, watching it burn. "Now, this is a party," she whispered, tossing the match and watching the gasoline ignite.

Soon people began to scream. "Phase one is complete," Kai told her with a smile.

Katherine smirked back at him when he grabbed her and sped them out of the area. She watched as Caroline and Damon first took Stefan out of the fire and then helped others out of the blazing hall. Stefan sat, coughing, his arm over his mouth as he watched with concern, waiting for his brother and his new wife to emerge.

Caroline and Damon returned and Stefan hugged them both. "You two should go, I'll find Katherine. She'll have stuck around to watch how this went," Damon said, patting his brother on the shoulder.

Stefan nodded and he and Caroline left. Katherine followed them while Kai stayed behind to prevent Damon from interfering. Stefan stood by the driver's side door of his car, pausing to look at Caroline. "I love you," he said.

"He loves you. And Elena. And Rebekah. And me. Who knows who the great Stefan Salvatore will love next?" Katherine said, appearing behind Caroline who whirled around on her heel, her eyes wide with shock.

"Katherine?" Caroline snarled, reaching out for Katherine's neck when Katherine grinned, words coming out of her mouth quicker than Caroline could move and then her new body went slack.

Waking up in her own body, Katherine sat up, waiting and watching as Stefan and Caroline stared at the body she'd just been inside. She turned on the car and then gunned the engine, hitting Stefan, watching his body fly through the air. Caroline shrieked in horror. "Stefan!" The crash wouldn't kill him. It might leave him paralyzed until Katherine found a witch to fix him. These things happen.

Caroline turned, to focus on Katherine, her fangs coming out and she snarled, coming toward the car. Katherine smirked, getting out and then she lifted a hand, sending Caroline to her knees, shrieking in pain. "You don't like that, do you?" Katherine asked. "You see, being the ruler of hell has its perks and I have a few new tricks up my sleeve." Grabbing Caroline by a fist full of her hair, Katherine looked into her eyes as she removed a knife from her belt. "You see, Caroline, I made you into what you are and I can unmake you. This is my gift to Stefan and to Klaus and to you, because I'm sending you exactly where I just came from. See you in hell!" Shoving the knife inside of Caroline's chest, Katherine cut a hole until she could wrap her hand around Caroline's heart and then she ripped it out. The look of shock and terror on the blonde's face was worth it. Katherine missed making others feeling as helpless as she'd felt time and time again.

Stefan woke up and looked over at Caroline. "Caroline! Caroline, NO!" he shouted, dragging his broken leg behind him as he moved toward his new bride. "Caroline, please, Caroline!" he whimpered as Katherine dropped the knife and watched Stefan gather Caroline into his arms.

"I told you, Stefan, it's always going to be you and me. No matter what. You'll forgive me. Eventually," Katherine told him as Stefan shook and glared at her. "Don't give me that look, you should be thanking me, trust me, you two did not have a bright future."

Turning on her heel, Katherine began to walk away and then she stopped and turned back. "Oh, by the way. I had Kai adjust his little sleeping spell. You might want to check up on Elena, 'cause she might be confused. Who can blame her when she finds out that you caused the death of the friend you thought would live through this whole disaster. Now, you can watch Damon get his perfect ending. Sorry, Stefan, you and I both know that Caroline would never make it in our world. I did her a favor."

Stefan wiped tears from his eyes. "Go back to hell, Katherine!" he yelled, his body shaking.

Katherine smirked down at him. "I don't think so. But when I do, don't worry, I'll be saving a seat to my right, just for you. Oh, and Damon can be my left hand. You know I always get what I want in the end, and I always believed that it would be the three of us. Until then. Have a nice human life, Stefan. I'll be seeing you again, soon. I have some unfinished business to deal with in New Orleans."

Walking away from the destruction, Katherine smiled, she would always survive if she had to walk through the depths of hell, to lay with the devil and to return with a vengeance. She was going to remake this world in her image. There would be hell on earth because The Bitch was back and ready to play.

For my Caroline lovers, please don't hate me, this is just something I thought might happen if Kat returned and because TVD tends to rip our hearts out by turning our beloved characters against each other. :/

Thank you for reading, faving, following and reviewing.

Peace,

Jessica