The Fluff Returneth Chapter 1: The Third Wheel and Where it Rolls, a legacy of kain fanfic

Disclaimer: The few things we own are listed here; ourselves and the Narrator. Bucky the former chipmunk was inspired by the squirrel from The Emperor's New Groove.

Author's Notes:

Syvia- Do too!

Do not!

Syvia- Do too!

Anamae- SHUT UP! *they do* God I've had to listen to that since the last chapter of Part 1! *rolls eyes* Let's acknowledge the reviews from chapter 12 and get on with it? *mutters* No wonder I'm insane- I have to put up with Syvia and a disembodied head!

*The two girls are sitting in the Red Raven Pub of Meredian, drinking some of the fine fine ale and watching the world slowly fade out into a haze. Anamae picks up a large mug, blows off the foam and chugs it down quickly. Syvia and the Narrator were drinking some vintage wine, but they've cut Syvia off, as she turned into a motor mouth after the first glass. Bucky has contented himself to having a peanut butter milkshake.*

Anamae- Now... we identified only one of the anonymous reviewers at the time we were writing this, because ff.net was screwy for a bit.

Syvia- The one we recognized was the Cat of Fluff- because she meowed constantly and then was kind enough to translate the meowing so-

Anamae- *cutting her off* But now we have the other names. Aside from that, we've decided to take a pole.

Syvia- Where're we planning on taking it?

Anamae- *cold glare* Don't make me gag you.

Syvia- *snickers into her goblet*

Anamae- Did you guys actually find the responding to the reviews section funny, or did everyone skip it? Please vote to keep or toss the in-depth reviews in the reviews you leave us for this chapter. ^_^

Syvia- *wobbles over and gives hugs to Concept of a Demon, Raziella D.Reaver, Fallen Templar, Morbid Knight, The Cat of Fluff, Discordia, Crystarr, VladimirsAngel, Tanaquil. Chalcedony Blue & Tiarne* We love all you crazy people!!!!

Anamae- We had fun figuring out the title for this second part.

Syvia- That's right. Anamae had all sorts of good ideas. For example! *pulls out a list*

*Anamae tries to grab the list away & misses*

Syvia- *hiccups* We could have a long-winded title like; '2 Authoresses in Meridian with a squirrel, a vampire, and a whole lot of trouble coming their way', but since no one would ever actually want to read all of that and get incredibly bored in under 30 seconds (or the time it takes to read the title) we also thought of

Return to Nosgoth: the Fluff Returneth! (give it a medieval twist due to the fact that Nosgoth is medevialish) or

The Attack of the Perpetual Fluff! or

Why the Hell Is This Fluff Back Up?

OR!

This is a Seriously Funny But F$%&ed up Fluff So We'll Read It All The Same.

*Anamae is blushing in her chair*

Syvia- Anamae liked Return to Nosgoth: The Fluff Returneth! the best, so I decided to tweak it just a little bit. Hence; the title that won out.

The Third Wheel and Where it Rolls

Syvia, Bucky, Anamae and Faustus looked at Meridian, the vampire grinning the whole time.

Faustus- Damn it feels good to be home. Now I can finally go back to my house and get it all fixed up and then I can go to the Sarafan Lord and say I need 3- no 4! weeks of vacation because I need to spend it with you!

He picked up Anamae and whirled her around in the air. Man, that's sweet. Why can't I find a male narrator like that?

Syvia- *looking at the blood on her feet* Eww, I need a bath, among other things. Fausty-

Anamae- You can't call him Fausty! Only I can!!!! Me, Syvia, me!!!

Faustus- Yeah!!!! *both stick their tongues out at her*

Syvia- *defensively* Yeesh, what did I do?

Well, Anamae takes that as a sign that you're moving in on her man, calling him a pet name she gave to him and which no other girl can call him by because it's like marking out your own-

Bucky- Squeaakkkkkkk!!!!! (We know about psychology and all that!!!)

Fine!!! Whatever, I'm just trying to help here but oh no, everyone wants to hurt the poor old narrator.... OH MY GOD, LOOK AT ALL THE EXCLAMATION POINTS YOU PEOPLE ARE GENERATING! YOU'RE EVEN MAKING ME DO IT! STOP THAT AT ONCE!

Bucky- Squeakin squeakity squeak squeak. (Firstly, I'm not a person. Secondly, please disengage the caps lock button.)

SORRY- *clears throat* sorry about that, Bucky.

Bucky- Squeaker. (That's okay.)

Faustus- *setting Anamae down* Okay, everyone come back to my place and you can get cleaned up. Of course the washroom has never been used because I don't think committing suicide is such a hot way to go but- *shrugs his shoulders*

So the trio, followed by little Bucky who was trying to get use to the big city after coming from....*flips back to the other story* Termogent Forest. He led them cutely through the city. Hell, he got a little girl all excited in the Slums because she had never seen anything so damned cute. She expressed her surprise through the use of enough swear words to make even the sailors' ears turn bright red.

That girl had a bright future ahead.

After that little escapade, Syvia attempted small talk.

Syvia- Hey Faustus, how long has it been since Kain got his ass kicked?

Faustus- *narrows his eyes* Why would you care to know?

Syvia- *grinning* Just curious....

Anamae- *giving a look and saying in sign language* I know what you're planning and you better not. I'm happy and if you think for one moment that you're gonna mess it up.....

But everyone else in Meridian could understand sign language since for some reason the Sarafan Lord made them all learn, so it wasn't all that secret anymore.

Anamae- Thank you, narrator.

You're welcome, you naughty girl.

Anamae- *defensively* What?

*in a sing-song voice* I know what you're thinking!

Syvia started laughing with Bucky while Anamae blushed the color of Faustus' jacket. The vampy hunk pretended to not hear the exchange going on, even if he did have excellent hearing, which was much better than Kain's because Kain lost most of it listening to his music too loud.

Faustus- Damn straight. *stops suddenly and points* And there we are. Home sweet home. *hugs Anamae*

Syvia- ....wow.

Faustus made his home in the den, and as the area was riddled with thieves, it didn't do for any house to look overly well-made or kept. So-

Bucky- Squeaky... squeak. (Looks like a dump.)

Anamae shot an angry look at Bucky, but Faustus only shrugged and led the way in. The first hallway was not much to look at, neither was the staircase, or the second floor hallway... or sitting room they walked through, or... other stuff I won't mention because Anamae is glaring at me... But then Faustus moved a heavy moth-eaten sofa away from the wall and revealed a trap door.

Faustus- Ladies first.

He opened it, revealing a small staircase, which they climbed down. Faustus climbed partially down the stairs before sliding the sofa back and closing the trap door. Anamae was looking around with a smug smile, Syvia and Bucky with amazement.

Anamae- What do you think now?

The rooms above were nothing but a diversion, something to deter any would-be hunters looking for the master of the Den. The stairwell led down into the pinnacle of opulence. One would have thought they stood in the high-rises of the Upper City. The floors were carpeted in black, and down the wide single hallway there were two doors on the right, three on the left and one at the end.

Faustus- The one at the end is where I sleep during the day, the two doors to your right, ladies, are the dining room/kitchen and parlor, and the ones to the left are guestrooms and the unused restroom. *shrugs* It came with the location. Not surprising considering the apartment was originally built for humans.

Anamae- Ha, see, Syvia? *nudges her friend* Faustus is doing well for himself.

Syvia- *tiredly* Yes, Anamae. I see.

Faustus- *modestly* In protecting the Sarafan Lord I have power and quite a bit of money at my disposal. I am happy with what I have.

Well, it's a sweet place.

Faustus- Thank you, narrator.

Hey, is that vase all the way from the Nights of Twilight Age?

Syvia- I think it is!

Syvia and Bucky went over to pick up the vase, and even with Faustus warning them to be careful, the unfortunately possible happened. Syvia and Bucky were turning the vase over in their hands (and paws) when it fell onto the floor and shattered.

Bucky- Squeep. (Oops.)

Anamae- *wide eyes* Syvia!

Needless to say, Faustus was not pleased at all.

Faustus- You think? I was a human when I got that vase; it came with me all the way from the gypsy camps!!!

I'm going to refrain from commenting on the exclamation points because Faustus is upset, not to mention the fact that I've never heard of Gypsies making vases. *Anamae glares at the narrator*

Syvia- *embarrassed* I am so sorry.

Bucky- *nodding* Squeak.

Syvia- Wait... you were a gypsy?

Faustus- *trying to stay composed* I'm going off to sleep. If you ladies are tired, then the bedrooms are at your disposal. *kisses Anamae on the cheek, then looks to Syvia* You touch anything, anything else, and I shall have your head. *goes off to his room*

Syvia- *nervously* And I know he's not joking about that.

Too true. Despite Syvia's annoyance at the threat, she kept her comments to herself. Because, after all, she was in the wrong.

Syvia- Yeah, yeah. *rolls eyes*

Bucky made like the cartoon character he resembled and promptly began sweeping up the shards of the vase with his bushy tail. Syvia sighed at Anamae's glare.

Syvia- We said we're sorry, okay? *pulls open a plot hole and brings out a vase identical to the one they broke* Look, give him this as a replacement.

Anamae- *snatches it from her companion's hands* That makes no difference! The last one was a relic from when he was still human.

Despite that, she sat it carefully on the display pedestal. Hopefully Faustus would appreciate the gesture.

Anamae- But I highly doubt it!

Syvia groaned loudly and headed for the staircase. Bucky finished sweeping the vase shards into a handy-dandy plot hole, closed it up and scampered after her.

Anamae- *slightly outraged* Where are you going?

Syvia- *flatly* Out. Enjoy the alone time with your vamp man.

Bucky waved a cheery goodbye and followed his mistress out. Anamae pouted slightly, then her mind latched onto what Syvia had said about 'alone time'. She grinned wickedly and headed for Faustus' room.
Syvia climbed the stairs, carefully closed the trapdoor and moved the couch over it, and headed out of the building. She looked a little sad...

Syvia- *sighs* Thanks for noticing.

No problem. Want to talk about it?

Syvia- *Bucky climbs up on her shoulder* Eh, just a little case of the third wheel, I guess.

Bucky- Squeakity squeak squeee? (What am I, the spare tire?)

Syvia chuckled softly and rubbed the squirrel's chin. Feeling a bit better, the two made their way into the streets of Meridian. You know what you need, Syv?

Syvia- Hmmm?

You really need a guy... vamp... ect. Hey! *sly tone of voice* Vorador's still around in this time.

Syvia- *glaring* Try anything like that and I'll have your head.... Although that won't do much... since that's all you have anyway.

*snickers*

Syvia- *shaking her head* Anyway, I don't want to see Vorador. Or anybody else from the Cabal, for that matter. I don't really want to see any Sarafan soldiers either... I'd be tempted to mess with them & that would only make trouble for Anamae & Faustus. What I'd really like is some peace & quiet.

Uh... given your track record-

Syvia- It's impossible, I know. *smirks* So I may as well make the best of my troublemaking habits.

Syvia walked off into the night. On her shoulder, Bucky imitated her evil grin. I have only one thing to add. Here we go again. *snickers*

=====================================

Syvia- Yes, Anamae and I are splitting up. *pouts* I always seem to get into trouble and end up by myself.

Anamae- *nodding fervently* And then I get smut with my Fausty! And I know I won't get my head chopped off with you!

Syvia- *wide eyes* What's that supposed to mean?!

Anamae- Nothing! *whistles innocently*

Syvia- Well, in any case- 10 reviews and we'll get the ball rolling.

Bucky- Squeak squeqkenin squeak. (To be honest, the girls just use the ten reviews as a reason to post early. If no reviews came in, Syvia would wait till the tenth day after posting and put the next one up- but they can edit a chapter in less time. They like to see what everyone thinks just because it boosts their pathetic little egos. Review if you want a speedy update! ^_^)

Syvia- That was quite a mouthful.

Bucky- Squeaky squeak squeakity squeak squeak. (Thanks.)

Anamae- Sometimes I wonder about that squirrel....