Of desires, dreams, and nightmares

by Jo Terry

A/N: I do not own Bleach and its characters.

While the other fics I wrote on FFnet post-686 were canon-compliant fix-it fics, this one is ultimately the alternate ending to the Bleach manga. If it were up to me, the final battle would've definitely gone exactly how I've written it here.

This fic was written as a one-shot. A very long one-shot but it took forever for me to upload the entire over 16k words as one file so I had it split into six chapters. Probably easier for everyone to read, anyway.

Thank you, jobananasan for reading my first draft. Your comments and suggestions have helped tremendously. Thanks also for listening to my depressing rant during my 'heartbreak' moments. Haha!

Also, I would like to thank my partner beyondtheborderridiculous (tumblr) for the artwork she has come up with for this fic. I'll reblog her piece once it's up.

Chapter One

Rukia's eyes shoot open from her slumber at the weight on her chest that is suffocating her. Forcing herself up into a sitting position, she takes big gulps of air to get as much oxygen back into her lungs as she possibly could before focusing on adjusting her reiatsu to calm her nerves… and the nerves of the other person who is trying to choke the hell out of her.

"Ichigo…" she breathes, mildly irritated as she squeezes her eyes to feel where his reiatsu is coming from.

Of course, she already knows where he is. The sun is not even up yet, which means he is at home, in his bedroom, having his usual post-war nightmare. During each of these episodes, his reiatsu would often reach out towards hers in the dead of the night. It is an unconscious act, he claims. The nightmare is a common occurrence – whenever she is not near him – that has happened since the time she was taken back to Soul Society for her execution years ago. When Rukia gave him a questioning look at this new information the first time he admitted it, Ichigo only shrugged it off with an "I'm used to it by now." She never asked anymore.

After the Thousand-Year Blood War, his dreams would be filled with images of him losing the battle to Yhwach, losing the world to a tyrannous King, and worst of all, losing Rukia again. Of course, he'd conveniently omit that last part every time he describes his nightmare to his best friend after calling out to her in his sleep and having her shunpo – in the speed that could rival her brother's – to his home in the Shiba Manor.

The first couple of months when it happened, she would arrive at the side of his futon just in time for him to ambush her into a life-crushing hug. It was really weird at first – both of them being the 'not so touchy-feely' type, but over time, it has become less awkward and more natural. They have both accepted the fact that Rukia is the only one who could ease Ichigo's emotional anxieties, sometimes even lulling him back to sleep with her presence alone.

It has been six months since Yhwach was defeated. Ichigo's post-traumatic stress disorder with regards to all that he has been through has significantly improved. This is all thanks to the distractions of helping set Soul Society back in order, the twice-daily zazen, and a kick in the arse every once in a while by his father to snap him out of it.

The best method, however, is Rukia's therapy kido. She does it for him three times a week for about one hour every session. All she does is focus some healing kido energy from the top of his head to the bottom of his spine during his evening zazen while she sits behind him. He always comes out of it at peace with himself and his surroundings.

While Ichigo has somewhat recovered from most of the trauma and is sometimes able to go two or three nights without the terrors, this morning's episode seems to be quite intense, judging by the way Rukia could almost feel the 'nails' of his reiatsu clawing at her. She curses the distance between the Kuchiki and Shiba estates on the way there while wondering if his Hollow has returned. This is rather unlikely, as Kurotsuchi Mayuri has made sure that he is a pure Shinigami now that he is permanently staying in Soul Society. After all, his Quincy and Hollow powers were sucked out by Yhwach during the final battle.

The doors of the mansion are already wide open when she arrives. Shiba Kuukaku is standing at the entrance with her arms crossed over her huge chest, looking positively annoyed at the ruckus her orange-haired cousin is causing in this ungodly hour of the morning.

"Please incapacitate him before he brings the whole house down," she growls at Rukia.

The petite fukutaichou of the 13th Division nods as she rushes past the other woman towards Ichigo's part of the house. Sliding the door of his bedroom, she feels her heart drop right down to her stomach at the sight of her wartime nakama. It must've been a really frightening one this time around because he is already sitting up on his futon with his back against the wall, his orange head buried within his folded arms that are crossed over his knees. There are streaks of sweat down his bare back and he seems to be trembling.

Grabbing his bath towel from his chair, Rukia hurries towards him to cover his back as she rubs her hands over the fabric to soak up his sweat.

Ichigo looks up with a gasp when he realises that it is her kneeling beside him. "Rukia!"

"Hey," she mutters, her hands going over his entire back to make sure he is dry.

He turns his body to face her and grabs her shoulders gently, the towel falling off his back as he does so. "I'm in Soul Society, right?"

Rukia tilts her head and regards her best friend questioningly. She's usually the one asking questions when this happens. "Yeah…" she replies slowly.

"I'm staying with the Shibas, right?"

She nods.

"The war ended but that's it, right?"

"Err…"

"I'm not fucking married to Inoue. Am I right?" Ichigo is almost screaming in her face by now.

Rukia arches her brows and gapes. Married to Inoue? she repeats in her head. Her shocked expression gradually fades into that of amused.

"Rukia…" he calls out to her again, the grip on her shoulders tightening.

"You're married to Inoue," she begins. It is meant as a question but it must have come out sounding like a confirmation to him.

"What?" He pales.

The Kuchiki heiress bites her lower lip. "You had a dream you were married to Inoue?" Ah, there's the correct tone.

"So it's just a dream?" Ichigo asks, his hands loosening his hold on her. "Tell me it's just a dream, Rukia."

"I would if you told me the reason why you're more terrified than before. A dream about you and Inoue being married can't be as bad as losing to Yhwach."

Ichigo casts her a glare as he lets go of her shoulders, causing her to stumble a bit from her kneeling position. "It is bad! It's worse than getting killed by Yhwach! How could I be married to her when I… when I…"

Whatever restrain Rukia has on herself diminishes as she bursts out laughing at Ichigo's over-reaction to his dream.

"There was also a boy. And he had those puppy dog eyes that would look innocently up at you."

"Puppy dog eyes?" Rukia snickers.

Ichigo scowls. "Yes! He had orange hair like mine."

"And Inoue's," she supplies, secretly enjoying his odd distress over something like that.

"What?" he shrieks and glares at her incredulously before he clutches his head with both hands. "Crap! No, no, no… And Tsubaki was the one looking after him."

Rukia covers her mouth but her shoulders are still shaking. "So in this dream, you and Inoue had a son. And his babysitter was one of Inoue's flower powers," she summarises for him between hiccups of her giggles.

Ichigo scrunches his brows in a tight knit as he continues to shoot her his death glare. "It's not funny, Rukia. Why are you laughing?"

The fukutaichou gets up on her feet, an arm bracing her aching stomach while she paces around his room to try to calm herself down.

"Midget!" Ichigo growls through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry," she laughs. "No, I'm not, actually. It is funny. I don't get why you're breaking out in cold sweat over a dream of being married. It should've been a pleasant one. You even had a son. Heck, you're married to a hot babe."

He snaps, "Shut the fuck up! It's not something I want."

Rukia halts her steps in front of him with her hands on her hips. Even though he is sitting on his futon, she is only a little over a head taller than him from where she is standing. "It's just a dream, Ichigo. Why are you so mad?" she asks, still amused.

"It felt so real. I think I must've slapped myself a few times so I could wake up but the dream kept dragging on for a long time before I finally did. I panicked when I thought I couldn't come out of it," he explains.

That serious look on his face makes her laugh out loud again. She reaches out to ruffle his already messy orange hair and feigns a pout. "Poor Ichi, tewwified of a teeny tiny dweam."

Ichigo swats her offensive hand from his head and spits, "For your information, you were married to Renji and you had a redhead daughter who looked like a female version of the pineapple."

Rukia's eyes widen in horror before she narrows them at the man. "Stop dreaming of the absurd, Baka!" she yells and kicks him hard in the shoulder, sending his back crashing into the thin wall behind him before she stomps out of his room.

Ichigo huffs as he lets his body fall sideways onto his bed. "I'm not marrying Inoue," he mumbles. "And you're sure as hell not marrying that fucktard if I have a say in this. Ever."

Six months prior…

"No way…" Abarai Renji growls. The other Shinigami who are with him are equally as astounded when the rubbles before them settle.

Beside him, Kuchiki Rukia's violet eyes widen as she perceives the person she never thought she would ever see again in over 18 thousand years. "You're…"

There's only death for those who stand in his way. And the man that appears from inside the darkness is…

"Aizen!" Rukia gasps in disbelief.

And there he is, the former captain of the Fifth Division of the Gotei 13, the wielder of Kyoka Suigetsu, and the traitor to Soul Society, bound to his 'throne' as he stares right back at her with his calm and collected demeanour. Aizen Sousuke.

"Oh, long time no see," he says, tilting the corners of his lips in slight amusement. "Kuchiki Rukia." He lets his ears get used to the sound of his own voice for the first time in two years. "But then again, I never did get to speak to you after I left the Gotei. Well," he pauses when he notices the badge that is strapped to her left arm. "Congratulations on getting your promotion. It's great that they're finally acknowledging your services."

Rukia narrows her eyes, recalling all the things he put her through. "You should've been locked up. What are you doing here?" she asks, enraged.

"They let me go," he replies as if it's the most expected thing in the world.

"Enough of that!" Rukia yells. "Who'd do…"

"It was me," says a voice from behind Aizen.

The group of Shinigami gathered stands rooted to the ground, shell-shocked. "Kyouraku-taichou!"

"I'm sure you'll ask me to explain myself," the would-be soutaichou of the Gotei 13 begins. "Let me tell you this: we need his powers."

Renji exclaims, "What are you saying, Kyouraku-taichou?"

"Wha-? But…" stutters Rukia. What in the world is this taichou planning to do?

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hisagi questions. His personal hate for the man surfaces as he feels the anger inside of him boiling for both of his former taichou, Muguruma Kensei and Tosen Kaname.

Madarame Ikkaku does not hesitate to voice his disapproval, "I sure as hell don't agree with asking for help from someone like him!"

"I second that," says Ayasegawa Yumichika. "There's no way we can just forget about all that he's done to us."

"You know no shame," spits Sui-Feng.

"All this talk is a matter of pride, isn't it?" Kyouraku-taichou asks. "Well, let's talk about the Gotei, then. Pride won't save the world. We need to fight evil with another kind of evil. I don't think I'm evil so where does that put us?"

There is silence. The Shinigami are exhausted and they realise that they've used up every ounce of their energy during this war and it doesn't seem like they are anywhere near winning.

"Looks like the discussion is over," Aizen says, breaking them out of their thoughts. He glances at Kyouraku-taichou who is standing beside him. The bearded man gives him a nod. "Rukia-san," he calls.

The fukutaichou of the 13thDivision blinks. Did he just call me? she thinks as her eyes meet his. She does not know what is on his mind. Aizen Sousuke has never been somebody who is easily read.

"Come here." His voice is low and quiet, yet commanding.

Rukia takes a step forward but Renji reaches out to grab her arm. "What are you doing?" he asks, gritting his teeth.

"I am not going to hurt her, Abarai," Aizen assures.

Rukia nods at her childhood friend as she slips out of his hold and walks towards where Aizen is seated. Kyouraku releases the binding on Aizen's right arm. Rukia stands directly in front of the brunette who has a patch across his right eye. She watches nervously as he lifts up his hand, pulls down the scarf around her neck, and taps his two fingers between her collarbones.

Behind her, Ikkaku and Yumichika are trying to restrain Renji from rushing forward to pull Rukia away from the criminal. However, their struggles cease when blue light emits from under Aizen's fingers.

Rukia gasps, realising what just happened as she feels the familiar power in the depth of her chest.