* This took me so much longer to update than I had hoped, but here it is. *

"I can't do this. I can't."

Emily paced the length of her living room floor, Andi in her arms fast asleep. She shuffled her feet back and forth across the taupe colored carpet, as she panicked about her first day back at work. It had been coming, she knew it had been coming, but now that the day had appeared so quickly, Emily was back tracking.

"Stop. Yes you can."

JJ and Emily had planned to carpool on her first day back weeks ago. JJ knew that when the day came, Emily would have a hard time leaving the baby and she figured that if she could be there, she could hopefully ease some of her tension. However, from the moment the blonde arrived, Emily had been fighting her on actually walking out the door.

"But what if something happens? What if she gets sick again or she falls off the changing table or anything else and we're halfway across the country on a case? I can't just drive home; I can't just run upstairs. I have to get on a plane and hope that I make it in time." Ranted Emily breathlessly.

"First, you sound like Penelope." JJ told her. "Secondly, things are going to happen, they always do. You've seen that for me, you saw with Hotch, and with Morgan. But you being here or on a case won't stop them. You just have to know that she's in good hands. That's she's well taken care of."

Emily had found her nanny completely by accident. The last time Elizabeth Prentiss had been in town, she had asked that Emily join her for lunch with some diplomat friend. Emily had been reluctant, but as she was trying to salvage some sort of relationship with her mother she agreed. Lucky for her that she did, as the diplomat's daughter had just recently graduated from high school, but was taking a year of from school before she made a college decision. Camilla had instantly taken to Andi holding her, bouncing her around the entire lunch and it had been Elizabeth who made the suggestion that Camilla nanny for her daughter. The young girl had said yes instantly, smitten by the baby and impressed by what Emily was willing to pay her.

"Do you think I made the right choice? I mean she's only eighteen." Emily spoke more softly this time as Camilla was just upstairs in Andi's room.

"Emily, how many times did you read the background check you did on her? And her mother is a diplomat. What is she going to do run away with Andi and try to hide? She's surrounded by too many important and very connected people. She's a smart girl and she adores Andi."

Emily nodded at JJ's comments. "How I am supposed to be away from her? How did you do it?"

"Well just as long as you don't cry in front of the team you'll be fine." JJ tried to joke, but the eye role she received from Emily proved that it hadn't been all that funny.

"Seriously, how did you do it?"

"I just did it. There's no secret, no way to calm yourself. Eventually it gets easier and it will become comfortable for you to be away from her. But the first time is the hardest, just like anything. Once you get past today, every day seems a little easier. And you'll start to trust more and more that who she's home with and who's caring for her loves her almost as much as you do."

"I trust Camilla completely." Said Emily. "But I still just can't bring myself to feel comfortable."

"That's normal. Trust isn't always the issue."

Emily let out a long deep breath.

"The longer you wait, the harder it's going to get. Go up there, give Andi one last kiss and then I am going to drag you out the door for your own good."

Emily followed the instructions, struggling through every second of it until she was in JJ's car on her way to headquarters. They had gotten a call about a case from Penelope on the way and the thought of having to get on the jet as soon as they got to Quantico made her anxiety over leaving Andi double, if not triple.

"Welcome back mama." Derek greeted her as he poured himself a cup of coffee and she walked onto the jet.

Emily gave him a weak smile and Derek could sense that she was a little off.

"You okay?"

"I'll be fine." Emily told him.

"Look I had to literally drag Savannah out the door on her first day back to work. It's not easy and don't feel bad for struggling with it. You'll be okay and Andi will be okay."

"When we get back and I have my daughter in my arms I will believe you guys, but right now it's not that easy."

"Understandable. Just don't beat yourself up over it."

She gave him a very fake smile, that he could see was a weak effort to hide what she was feeling, before she took a seat on the jet. Everyone followed her lead.

"Alright, let's get started. We have a lot to get caught up on before we get there."

Emily did her best to turn on her most convincing unit chief act and hide what she was really feeling. She could only hope that the more they delved into the case, the more she could keep her mind busy and not worry so much about Andi.

However, this was not the case to be starting with when she had just left her daughter for the first time. She knew that the case had been urgent, that's why the only time they had at headquarters had been ten minutes to drop off their stuff before grabbing their go bags. Penelope had nearly pushed them out the door, explaining that she would call them on the plane to fill them in.

Penelope's face appeared in the square of the MacBook on the table. The look in her eyes and the lack of a sassy greeting told the whole team that they were looking at something horrific.

"What is it baby girl?" Derek asked.

They could see Garcia's eyes shift to Emily quickly and then back to the rest of the group. "It's a child. A… a missing… little girl. She's only six months old and she was taken right out of her stroller in a public park."

Emily's heart dropped.

The team sat silent for a moment. Missing children's cases were never easy and now they had to do their job while also trying their best to keep their unit chief focused on what was happening right in front of them, not at home.

"You are not seriously about to walk up to your office right now, are you?"

Emily turned around before she could take a single step further, the voice was Tara's and the question surprised her coming from the female agent. They had just returned to Quantico after landing. She knew the paperwork that would be waiting for her now that the case had been closed and she didn't want to get behind on her first case back, no matter how much she wished she was at home on the couch snuggling her sweet baby girl.

"Umm… yeah I am."

"No you're not."

"Well last time I checked I was unit chief and that meant that just because we got back from a case, the job wasn't over. Also, known as the paperwork from hell."

Tara shook her head. "Just because you're unit chief doesn't mean that you have to do it all and you can try to pretend all you want, but we all know that you are literally dying to see Andi."

"The paperwork will be there tomorrow. Go home Emily." JJ reinforced Tara's message.

"I guess." Emily sighed. "I just need to grab my purse."

She walked up the ramp, unlocking her office door with her keys. She threw her go bag on the floor next to her desk and switched it out for her purse that was atop the desk. "Hey JJ?"

The blonde looked up from her phone in the bullpen as Emily came out of her office. "Yeah?"

"Want to give me a ride back home?" The unit chief shuffled toward her.

JJ realized what she meant. "I guess I could do that since I brought you here. But only if you let me buy you dinner on the way?"

"I think we can make that happen." Emily smirked.

"Good." JJ picked her own purse back up. "Tara want to join?"

"If there's food and you ladies involved, I'm there. Want me to grab Penelope and meet you there?"

"That would be great." JJ said as she headed toward the elevator, followed by Emily who was texting Camilla that she was on her way home.

She heard the lock click and Emily pushed open the door, letting JJ walk through first as she was holding the food. The brunette came in behind her, shutting the door, and slipping her shoes off onto the rack. The noises of Andi babbling from the living room made her move a little faster.

"Hi sweet girl." Emily squealed when she came up next to Camilla who was holding her. Emily put her hands out and the nanny transferred the baby into her arms. "How was she? Did she take her bottles okay? I'm sorry for not checking in very often, this case was crazy."

"Don't worry about it. You're supposed to be able to work without worrying too much about us. Besides, she was really good. Ate like a champ and she even slept for almost six hours straight last night."

"Really? She never sleeps that long for me."

"Kids are always better for other people than they are for their parents." JJ pointed out as she emptied the bags of food onto the counter.

"Of course they are." Scoffed Emily. "Thanks for everything Camilla. I'll let you know for sure later tonight, but I think that I'll be taking the day off tomorrow."

She nodded. "Sound good. I'm available if you need me, though."

Emily and JJ watched as she collected all of her belongings and headed for the door. But before she could open it, Tara and Penelope came walking through, a bottle of wine in Tara's hand and something that looked like a dessert in Penelope's hands.

"Thanks again, Camilla." Emily called after the young girl.

"So you were in a rush to get started on your paperwork earlier and now you're taking the day off tomorrow?"

"What's up with that?" Tara had set down the bottle of wine and was making herself at home by pulling the wine glasses from their shelf in the cabinet.

"It's not like I can't do most of it from here anyway, it's just paperwork and I want the time with Andi." Emily admitted. "You all were right; I was dying to see her. Especially after this case."

From the moment the plane landed, the team was on edge and on high alert. Missing children's cases required them to be on top of their game as they were working with little time, frazzled and worried parents, and have the media breathing down their necks. It had been stressful to say the least, but thirty-six hours after landing, the team found the baby girl alive. She had to be taken to the hospital and would be there for a few days, but she was safe and most importantly she was back in her parents' arms. But even with a happy ending, Emily couldn't help herself from thinking about all the kid cases they had seen that hadn't ended so well and because of it, although she tried to hide it, she was aching for Andi to be in her arms.

"This was not an easy one." Tara agreed.

"And for it to be your first one back, it was even worse." JJ sympathized with her.

"I don't think it's going to matter what the case is now. They are all magnified and seem so much more horrible." Emily stared at Andi, who had laid her head against her mama's shoulder, snuggling against her.

"Yes they are." Penelope told her. "But we are here for you. The guys are here for you and it just means that we will have to have that many more nights like this where we remind you and ourselves that no matter how bad it is out there, we have each other."

* Alright, let me know what you thought. If there's anything you want to see or something I should cover. *