Author's note:

Hello there :)

This is the result of not quite an hour's work, not beta-read and also very spur of the moment. If you find any mistakes, feel free to point them out to me.

I was working on another, much longer piece (for the Harry Potter fandom, so if any of you like Harry Potter maybe keep an eye out for that? It should be going up within the next few weeks), but I was rather stuck, so I decided to revisit an old piece of mine (it is called You're not you - and yet you are and can be found through my profile, if you want to read it as well) with the information from House of Hades in mind. And also this time with the book next to me, so yay for the actual canon dialogue. Some parts of this are identical to the original version, some are not, for obvious reasons if you know the original.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would really appreciate it if you took some more of your time to review and tell me what you think. Regardless of whether you do or not: Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer:

I don't own PJO or HOO. None of the characters in this are mine and neither is the dialogue.

"Hey," Hazel's voice is unmistakable. Or at least, it is to me. Maybe that's the kind of thing that happens when you get a person out of the underworld. "I've brought a friend." And that's… not quite new but unusual. I have met Frank, a tall boy whose bulk doesn't seem to fit him at all, but that's about it when it comes to friends as far as Hazel is concerned. That on the other hand, is not unusual. We are our father's children after all. We generally have a very limited number of friends. I myself can count the number of people I would consider friends on one hand with fingers to spare.

I turn.

And I can't help but stare, stare, stare. Perseus Jackson. Percy. Percy, Percy, Percy. For a moment my brain shuts down, because Gods I missed you. I missed you Percy Jackson. I missed your annoyingly optimistic, sickeningly in love, wonderfully impatient, strangely kind, blue birthday cake eating self. Then, my insides clench as I realize the implications of you being here in this place where you don't belong.

"This is Percy Jackson," Hazel says, "He's a good guy. Percy, this is my brother, the son of Pluto."

Focus, Nico. Focus. You've got this. You haven't given yourself away yet and you won't now. (Oh, but this is Percy and it's always different when it comes to Percy. Just another reason to avoid him.)

I hold out my hand. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Nico di Angelo."

You take my hand, shake it, but I can tell by the way you look at me that something is off. You look at me like you don't trust me and it hurts. There's a spark of something else there, a spark that, as you speak, I identify as recognition.

"I - I know you," you say and what am I supposed to say to that? Because more than anything, I desperately want to tell you that yes, yes you do. You know me. You trust me. You're the closest thing I have to a friend (and the word stings, but I try to tell myself it should be enough, it has to be enough, because there is no chance…). But I know I am not allowed.

"Do you?" I raise an eyebrow and turn to Hazel. She starts talking, but I don't listen, not truly. Instead, I glance at you and you still look at me searchingly and it's all I can do to hold my tongue. Those eyes will be the death of me. I just know it. I bite the inside of my cheek. I want to tell you, screw the Gods and their stupid rules, because this isn't right!

I want to tell you that I know you.

I want to tell you that you're a son of Poseidon, not freakin' Neptune.

I want to tell you that you're the hero of Olympus. The one person that stood between them and total defeat.

I want to tell you that you saved the world.

I want to tell you that you saved me.

But most of all I want to tell you that I missed you. Because you wormed your way into my heart and then took it with you when you disappeared like you had every right to do so. And maybe you did. I have often tried to tell myself that you stole my heart like a thief in the night, but really… I gave it to you quite willingly. Back before… Sometimes I tell myself I should hate you for that, but I seem to be unable to. I resent you sometimes, I am angry with you, I am upset with you, but when it comes down to it, I would do anything in my power to protect you.

You tear down my guard, Percy Jackson, without even meaning to and I let you in, because I can't help myself. And you care. I know you do, even if you don't care the way I wish you would. So it's okay that I let you get a glimpse of me. It's okay. Because you're Percy and you wouldn't use it against me. Only, right now, you're not. So for once I have to keep my guard up, have to hide behind the walls of this fortress that protects me so well from all others. For once it will have to hold out against you. Because you, this person standing in front of me right now, are not Percy.

Of course, you're still Percy Jackson, most powerful demigod I ever met and will probably ever meet, but you're not Percy and you don't know me and really, I don't know this person standing in front of me, because that's not you. It's not my friend, my… I stop that thought before it can go too far and focus instead on the fact that maybe, just maybe, this person could be Hazel's friend and that might make it up to me in a way. A teensy tinsy little bit.

But that still doesn't make up for seeing you, and not being able to hug you and tell you that I worried about you, and that I missed you so freakin' much it's not even funny anymore.

I swallow and turn my attention to Hazel. I won't tell you any of that. And it breaks my heart, but it's the rules.

So I steel myself and try not to look at you, because that might just bring my defenses down. And also because I'm afraid that if I look at you, I might just cry. And you're not allowed to see that right now.

Again, if you would leave a review, that would be wonderful :)