Disclaimer: you've seen these before… I don't own this… I wish I did… blah blah… I'll save you the time and pity… go screw yourself Gainax! Okay now that's out of my system I'm ready for the lawsuit portion, don't sue my please!!! (I'm penniless!!!)
Author's Note "-+†‡†+-·o(¤Kãkêð¤)o·-+†‡†+-" : "Ayanami, Rei, the most famous girl anime character of 1997!" Enjoy all you fans out there, this one is for Rei! (Yes, I have life)
Passion's Wounds Chapter 1
"Why did you keep this from me?" Shinji said coarsely.
"I… I…" Rei didn't know how to reply, she tried to look in to Shinji's eyes, but couldn't summon the strength. She wanted to say because I could actually tell you that I love you without you denying me, but she just couldn't. She had never seen Shinji so angry before. Shinji was not one to be angry to the degree that he would raise his voice or throw things around; his anger emits like his father, through his eyes. A tear dripped from the corner of her eye.
"Why did you keep this from me, Rei?" Shinji said again.
Rei didn't reply. She couldn't look straight at Shinji; in fact, with those tears now dripping, she couldn't look at anything without a blurred vision.
"Go away…" Shinji said with pain in his throat, never loud or rude though.
Rei looked up with her face a horrible mess.
"Shinji…" she pleaded.
"Go away, I don't want…………… I don't to see you again, Rei."
Rei nodded. She obeyed. She didn't want to leave Shinji, but she respected his words. Shinji closed the door, and Rei stood there for a second. Then she collapsed to the floor.
"Miss Ayanami?" A voice called.
Her eyes were closed, a small tear withered at the corner of her eye.
"Miss Ayanami?" A voice called again.
Shinji… she thought… She opened her eyes.
"Miss Ayanami!" She recognized the figure that stood before her, in front of her long desk. She recognized where she was; it was her office… the dark surroundings, and lowered lights, and the paintings against the walls.
"Miss Ayanami, you must hurry, you'll be late for your meeting…" A young man stood in front of Rei's desk.
"Cancel the meeting…" she said softly, as she was handed a glass of water. She then pulled out from her side door a small container of medicine.
"Is it him?" The young man said again.
Rei glared at him, but then softened and took her medicine. She sighed after taking the medicine. She felt horrible. Shinji was so upset. I acted like a total fool… she thought. I should've been better to him; now, all I have to do is regret. That she did, for three years, to this day it would still haunt her.
"I'm going back… tomorrow…"
"I wish you luck, Miss Ayanami…"
Rei stared at him with her crimson eyes. She didn't say anything, because the prospect of seeing Shinji again was too nerve-racking. She stood up, straightened out her black suit and her lovely blue hair and walked out of the room, leaving the young man behind. She was going to see Shinji this time… time heals all wounds right? She thought, I've spent enough time here in London for NERV, it's time to go back to Shinji. She then stopped dead out of the door to her office. She closed her eyes and promised herself… no matter the cost, she would win Shinji's heart… no matter the cost… even if it meant killing herself.
The cold rain was behind her. Rei was nervous, but beyond that, she was uncomfortable… she felt uneasy… there were constant stabs of pain, reminders of what happened that day. She stood there at the scene of the crime. She grasped her present tightly between her arms; the present hugged again her thin brown jacket. It was raining in Tokyo-3. It was winter and the rain had been colder than usual. Her nimble fingers were shaking from the bitter weather, her cheeks rosy. She looked at the door… 'Ikari'… Shinji's new apartment, he had moved out of Misato's place a year ago. Rei could here voices of laughter behind the door. Today was Shinji's birthday; no doubt there was some sort of party arranged by Misato. Her hands trembled as they reached for the doorbell. Rei took a deep sigh and pushed the bell. The sound of the bell tolled in her heart. She prayed that Shinji would not be the one to open the door.
"I'll get it!" There was distant voice from behind the door.
The door slid open. Rei smiled just slightly, but still pain lingered in her heart.
There was a moment of silence. It was Shinji... Rei had not seen him for three years; it had been so long, she had almost forgotten his cheery face. He seemed so happy before he looked at her. He seemed changed too, a little more built. She tried to smile a bit more, she knew Shinji liked it better when she smiled. They just stared at each other for a minute. Shinji's face was a mixture of both shock and pain, but at the same time, it was not as pained as three years ago. With that, Rei thought that Shinji maybe had forgiven her. She hoped he had; she had not forgiven herself for lying to him, especially since her loved him.
"What are you doing here?" he finally said softly.
Rei forced another smile to her heart's pain, but she couldn't contain a single tear from her eyes. Shinji didn't catch it because she was wet from the rain.
"I came back," she said softly. Her voice cracked from the dryness.
There was silence. Her hands tightened around her present…
"Happy Birthday…" she said even more softly.
"Thank you…" Shinji's voice was monotone. Why had his faced not changed? I can't stand him looking at me like that. Too many memories, she thought.
"Here…" Rei offered her present. Her heart was in serious pain now… her chest felt heavy, but she forced a smile.
"Shinji! Who is it?" A voice from the back called; it was Touji-san.
"…"
"Why did you come back?" Shinji looked at her, his vision blurring slightly… As if he too felt the same pain. Rei saw this in his face… another sharp pain stabbed her.
It hurts, it really hurts… Rei thought as her smiled disappeared. She looked down still holding out her present.
"I missed you…" Her voice was hard, the tears began to stream down her face. "Shinji…"
"Shinji! Who is it?" Touji rang from the back again.
"No one, just the mailman!" Rei looked up in shock… the tears still there.
Shinji looked at her.
"Sorry, please go…" He took the present and closed the door. She heard footsteps walking away. She stared blankly at the door. Her chest was tightening now and she placed both her hands there now. The medicine was kicking in… she could feel it… it was weakening her heart. She couldn't control her tears anymore or the pain in her chest. She felt like as if she was going to explode. The pain was unbearable, and the more she thought about it, the sharper the stabs came. Control yourself, Rei… she thought, as her breathing began to increase heavily. The tears blurred her vision. Rei closed her eyes and saw Shinji, with that smile she had missed so dearly. That cheery smile, innocent but true. Finally Rei collapsed. She fainted. The rain poured behind her.
"Shinji I think it's time to open your presents!" Asuka said happily, a bright smile on her face.
"Yeah!" everyone agreed. Shinji smiled happily, rubbing off the last of the after effects of his recent reunion with Ayanami.
"Sure… Thank you everyone!" Shinji smiled with his cheery face brilliantly shown.
"Shinji, Baka- say that after you open them." Hikari said, smiling.
"Yeah, hurry up!" Kensuke said.
"Com'on." Touji said smiling to Kensuke as they had something planned.
Misato smiled happily at him. So did Asuka. He smiled back, and began to open the first.
'From Hikari and Asuka'. It was rather large in size.
… It was a cleaning kit for his cello. "Thank you."
'From Misato'.
… It was new SDAT player. "Thank you, Misato! This means a lot." Shinji's face lit up. Misato smiled sweetly back. "You always listen to it, Shin-chan! It was the least I could do."
'From Touji and Kensuke'
… A book… 'How to cook your way into a girl's heart' Shinji laughed. "You guys are horrible!" Everyone saw and laughed with him. "Thank you!"
That was it…
"Alright, let's continue the party." Asuka said cheerfully, "I call the microphone!"
"Wait…" Hikari said… There is still one more… Hikari looked behind her outside of the living room and toward the door. Damn… Shinji thought, that was Rei's present, he had put it there after he left her.
"Did the mailman bring this?" Hikari asked curiously. "Oh my god! It's from Rei!" Hikari picked it up and everybody ran to her, except for Shinji.
"Here!" Hikari said, "From Rei-chan! How is she anyways? You must have not caught the name…" Hikari handed Shinji the present as everyone gathered around.
"I don't know," Shinji said solemnly. He looked down at the present; his hands trembled as they touched the slightly wet wrapping paper.
"I can't believe she actually remembered your birthday!" Asuka said smiling. "Hurry up and open it! Everyone's curious!"
"Okay," Shinji forced a smile.
He unwrapped the present. There was note inside. He opened the envelope and read the soft paper card.
'The sweetest wishes for the coming year' – 'Rei'
He now felt a jab of pain for leaving her out there.
"That's so cute!" Misato said. "Guess she still has a thing for you," she teased some more.
Shinji flipped the present; there it was, a green album with the embossed gold letters, 'Yui'. Everyone was shocked as Shinji opened the first page. There, neatly arranged, was picture after picture of his mother!
"Where did she get those!" Asuka said.
"That so sweet!" Hikari said.
Shinji choked… where did she get these? His mother's pictures would have been all erased. Shinji couldn't control the tears from his eyes, out of happiness and out of shock.
He flipped to the last page. There was something written on the back cover.
'Three years of sorrow, I beg for your forgiveness now. I don't deserve it, but if you have it in your heart to lend me a second chance… I'd be eternally yours. I still care, Shinji… I will always care… I am no longer an angel…So I beg that you do not fear… Happy Birthday.' – 'Rei'
Shinji was in shock. Everyone else was the same. No one knew what to say.
Hours later, the party ended and Hikari, along with Touji, were the first to leave. It was late at night now.
"Shinji! That was a wonderful party! You truly are a great cook!" Hikari said.
"Yeah" Touji back her up, "be sure to use our book!" He said it with a smirk on his face. Everyone laughed. They had temporarily forgotten Rei's present. Hikari opened the door.
"Oh my god!"
Everyone rushed over.
"What?" Kensuke was the first to ask.
Rei lay there on the cold floor, under the rain, still unconscious… Shinji looked at Rei on the floor with regret. Touji bent over and picked up Rei… "She's so cold… I can't feel anything in her hands…" Touji looked with disgust at Shinji as he carried her in. He understood now. Shinji could do nothing more than look at Rei with pain, regret, and sorrow in his eyes.
Author's Note "-+†‡†+-·o(¤Kãkêð¤)o·-+†‡†+-" : "Ayanami, Rei, the most famous girl anime character of 1997!" Enjoy all you fans out there, this one is for Rei! (Yes, I have life)
Passion's Wounds Chapter 1
"Why did you keep this from me?" Shinji said coarsely.
"I… I…" Rei didn't know how to reply, she tried to look in to Shinji's eyes, but couldn't summon the strength. She wanted to say because I could actually tell you that I love you without you denying me, but she just couldn't. She had never seen Shinji so angry before. Shinji was not one to be angry to the degree that he would raise his voice or throw things around; his anger emits like his father, through his eyes. A tear dripped from the corner of her eye.
"Why did you keep this from me, Rei?" Shinji said again.
Rei didn't reply. She couldn't look straight at Shinji; in fact, with those tears now dripping, she couldn't look at anything without a blurred vision.
"Go away…" Shinji said with pain in his throat, never loud or rude though.
Rei looked up with her face a horrible mess.
"Shinji…" she pleaded.
"Go away, I don't want…………… I don't to see you again, Rei."
Rei nodded. She obeyed. She didn't want to leave Shinji, but she respected his words. Shinji closed the door, and Rei stood there for a second. Then she collapsed to the floor.
"Miss Ayanami?" A voice called.
Her eyes were closed, a small tear withered at the corner of her eye.
"Miss Ayanami?" A voice called again.
Shinji… she thought… She opened her eyes.
"Miss Ayanami!" She recognized the figure that stood before her, in front of her long desk. She recognized where she was; it was her office… the dark surroundings, and lowered lights, and the paintings against the walls.
"Miss Ayanami, you must hurry, you'll be late for your meeting…" A young man stood in front of Rei's desk.
"Cancel the meeting…" she said softly, as she was handed a glass of water. She then pulled out from her side door a small container of medicine.
"Is it him?" The young man said again.
Rei glared at him, but then softened and took her medicine. She sighed after taking the medicine. She felt horrible. Shinji was so upset. I acted like a total fool… she thought. I should've been better to him; now, all I have to do is regret. That she did, for three years, to this day it would still haunt her.
"I'm going back… tomorrow…"
"I wish you luck, Miss Ayanami…"
Rei stared at him with her crimson eyes. She didn't say anything, because the prospect of seeing Shinji again was too nerve-racking. She stood up, straightened out her black suit and her lovely blue hair and walked out of the room, leaving the young man behind. She was going to see Shinji this time… time heals all wounds right? She thought, I've spent enough time here in London for NERV, it's time to go back to Shinji. She then stopped dead out of the door to her office. She closed her eyes and promised herself… no matter the cost, she would win Shinji's heart… no matter the cost… even if it meant killing herself.
The cold rain was behind her. Rei was nervous, but beyond that, she was uncomfortable… she felt uneasy… there were constant stabs of pain, reminders of what happened that day. She stood there at the scene of the crime. She grasped her present tightly between her arms; the present hugged again her thin brown jacket. It was raining in Tokyo-3. It was winter and the rain had been colder than usual. Her nimble fingers were shaking from the bitter weather, her cheeks rosy. She looked at the door… 'Ikari'… Shinji's new apartment, he had moved out of Misato's place a year ago. Rei could here voices of laughter behind the door. Today was Shinji's birthday; no doubt there was some sort of party arranged by Misato. Her hands trembled as they reached for the doorbell. Rei took a deep sigh and pushed the bell. The sound of the bell tolled in her heart. She prayed that Shinji would not be the one to open the door.
"I'll get it!" There was distant voice from behind the door.
The door slid open. Rei smiled just slightly, but still pain lingered in her heart.
There was a moment of silence. It was Shinji... Rei had not seen him for three years; it had been so long, she had almost forgotten his cheery face. He seemed so happy before he looked at her. He seemed changed too, a little more built. She tried to smile a bit more, she knew Shinji liked it better when she smiled. They just stared at each other for a minute. Shinji's face was a mixture of both shock and pain, but at the same time, it was not as pained as three years ago. With that, Rei thought that Shinji maybe had forgiven her. She hoped he had; she had not forgiven herself for lying to him, especially since her loved him.
"What are you doing here?" he finally said softly.
Rei forced another smile to her heart's pain, but she couldn't contain a single tear from her eyes. Shinji didn't catch it because she was wet from the rain.
"I came back," she said softly. Her voice cracked from the dryness.
There was silence. Her hands tightened around her present…
"Happy Birthday…" she said even more softly.
"Thank you…" Shinji's voice was monotone. Why had his faced not changed? I can't stand him looking at me like that. Too many memories, she thought.
"Here…" Rei offered her present. Her heart was in serious pain now… her chest felt heavy, but she forced a smile.
"Shinji! Who is it?" A voice from the back called; it was Touji-san.
"…"
"Why did you come back?" Shinji looked at her, his vision blurring slightly… As if he too felt the same pain. Rei saw this in his face… another sharp pain stabbed her.
It hurts, it really hurts… Rei thought as her smiled disappeared. She looked down still holding out her present.
"I missed you…" Her voice was hard, the tears began to stream down her face. "Shinji…"
"Shinji! Who is it?" Touji rang from the back again.
"No one, just the mailman!" Rei looked up in shock… the tears still there.
Shinji looked at her.
"Sorry, please go…" He took the present and closed the door. She heard footsteps walking away. She stared blankly at the door. Her chest was tightening now and she placed both her hands there now. The medicine was kicking in… she could feel it… it was weakening her heart. She couldn't control her tears anymore or the pain in her chest. She felt like as if she was going to explode. The pain was unbearable, and the more she thought about it, the sharper the stabs came. Control yourself, Rei… she thought, as her breathing began to increase heavily. The tears blurred her vision. Rei closed her eyes and saw Shinji, with that smile she had missed so dearly. That cheery smile, innocent but true. Finally Rei collapsed. She fainted. The rain poured behind her.
"Shinji I think it's time to open your presents!" Asuka said happily, a bright smile on her face.
"Yeah!" everyone agreed. Shinji smiled happily, rubbing off the last of the after effects of his recent reunion with Ayanami.
"Sure… Thank you everyone!" Shinji smiled with his cheery face brilliantly shown.
"Shinji, Baka- say that after you open them." Hikari said, smiling.
"Yeah, hurry up!" Kensuke said.
"Com'on." Touji said smiling to Kensuke as they had something planned.
Misato smiled happily at him. So did Asuka. He smiled back, and began to open the first.
'From Hikari and Asuka'. It was rather large in size.
… It was a cleaning kit for his cello. "Thank you."
'From Misato'.
… It was new SDAT player. "Thank you, Misato! This means a lot." Shinji's face lit up. Misato smiled sweetly back. "You always listen to it, Shin-chan! It was the least I could do."
'From Touji and Kensuke'
… A book… 'How to cook your way into a girl's heart' Shinji laughed. "You guys are horrible!" Everyone saw and laughed with him. "Thank you!"
That was it…
"Alright, let's continue the party." Asuka said cheerfully, "I call the microphone!"
"Wait…" Hikari said… There is still one more… Hikari looked behind her outside of the living room and toward the door. Damn… Shinji thought, that was Rei's present, he had put it there after he left her.
"Did the mailman bring this?" Hikari asked curiously. "Oh my god! It's from Rei!" Hikari picked it up and everybody ran to her, except for Shinji.
"Here!" Hikari said, "From Rei-chan! How is she anyways? You must have not caught the name…" Hikari handed Shinji the present as everyone gathered around.
"I don't know," Shinji said solemnly. He looked down at the present; his hands trembled as they touched the slightly wet wrapping paper.
"I can't believe she actually remembered your birthday!" Asuka said smiling. "Hurry up and open it! Everyone's curious!"
"Okay," Shinji forced a smile.
He unwrapped the present. There was note inside. He opened the envelope and read the soft paper card.
'The sweetest wishes for the coming year' – 'Rei'
He now felt a jab of pain for leaving her out there.
"That's so cute!" Misato said. "Guess she still has a thing for you," she teased some more.
Shinji flipped the present; there it was, a green album with the embossed gold letters, 'Yui'. Everyone was shocked as Shinji opened the first page. There, neatly arranged, was picture after picture of his mother!
"Where did she get those!" Asuka said.
"That so sweet!" Hikari said.
Shinji choked… where did she get these? His mother's pictures would have been all erased. Shinji couldn't control the tears from his eyes, out of happiness and out of shock.
He flipped to the last page. There was something written on the back cover.
'Three years of sorrow, I beg for your forgiveness now. I don't deserve it, but if you have it in your heart to lend me a second chance… I'd be eternally yours. I still care, Shinji… I will always care… I am no longer an angel…So I beg that you do not fear… Happy Birthday.' – 'Rei'
Shinji was in shock. Everyone else was the same. No one knew what to say.
Hours later, the party ended and Hikari, along with Touji, were the first to leave. It was late at night now.
"Shinji! That was a wonderful party! You truly are a great cook!" Hikari said.
"Yeah" Touji back her up, "be sure to use our book!" He said it with a smirk on his face. Everyone laughed. They had temporarily forgotten Rei's present. Hikari opened the door.
"Oh my god!"
Everyone rushed over.
"What?" Kensuke was the first to ask.
Rei lay there on the cold floor, under the rain, still unconscious… Shinji looked at Rei on the floor with regret. Touji bent over and picked up Rei… "She's so cold… I can't feel anything in her hands…" Touji looked with disgust at Shinji as he carried her in. He understood now. Shinji could do nothing more than look at Rei with pain, regret, and sorrow in his eyes.