AUTHOR'S NOTE: I thought this would be funny... So I wrote it! Enjoy! FYI: If you recognize the lyrics, I don't own it... Duh... I also don't own The Avengers, in case you thought I was Stan Lee...

Tony stood by a table in his workroom (which was, obviously the coolest mancave ever) and pounded the metal of his new Iron Man armor. He had crashed it earlier (and Pepper had rolled her eyes. "Something about 'think before you fly.' She really doesn't understand the scientific process," Tony thought.) Heavy metal music was blaring from the built in speakers. Tony was so absorbed in his work, he didn't notice Pepper standing in the doorway until she came over and tapped his shoulder.

"... Me... ...Down!" She shouted.

"Jarvis, pause music!" Tony shouted back.

"Do you always have to play that stupid music?!" Pepper demanded.

"It helps me focus!" Tony explained. Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Dinner's in ten. Finish up," she reminded him. Actually, she hadn't started making dinner yet, but she had learned by now that, if she said he had ten minutes till dinner, she should expect him to show up in 30.

"Okay, I just need to finish re-fusing the auxiliary carborator, then re-calibrate the autonomous missile system."

Pepper sighed and walked out, her high heels clicking in the (now) quiet room. As soon as she closed the door behind her, the music resumed, just as load as before.

Steve looked up with surprise. Pepper never came to this part of the mansion!
"Hey Pepper, what's up?" he asked.

"I haven't interrupted you, have I?"

"Nah, just polishing my shield... again. Anyways, I wouldn't be in the parlor if I didn't want to be interrupted."

"Living room, Steve, no one says parlor anymore," Pepper corrected.

The super soldier turned a bit red. "Anyways, what brings you to the living room?"

Pepper signed, again. "Can you think of any way to get Tony to keep his music down? I swear, I can't shout loud enough to get his attention! He is going to give us all permanently ruptured eardrums!"

"Oh, I can think of a way alright. Can you program Jarvis to play something else whenever the door is opened?" Steve was grinning evilly- or, at least, as close to evilly as he ever grinned.

"Hey Tasha!" Pepper called.

"Need me to make dinner so you can finish coding your newest project?" Natasha Romanov asked/stated, somehow making the sentence sound like both at the same time.

"I... Yeah. Remind me why I'm surprised you knew that?"

"No idea. You really should be used to it by now." Natasha turned, auburn hair swishing as she did so. "Oh, and Pepper?"

"Yeah?"

"If Clint ever hears you call me Tasha, you will regret it."

"Tony! Use some manners!" Pepper reprimanded, embarrassed. Her boyfriend had just sent a drone to fetch the spaghetti for him... from the other side of the table, three feet away. "Clint could have passed that to you!"

"I was afraid Steve would eat it all first," Tony quipped. No one laughed. Shocker!
"Steve is the one who is supposed to get 5,000 calories a day. You are only supposed to have 3,000. And yet Steve seems to be able to use his manners!"

"Yeah. He's real polite when we train to. Always lets me get beat up first." Tony argued.

"Steve SMASH your ego!" Hulk grunted. This time everyone laughed, except Pepper, who suddenly had a bad cough, Steve, who smiled shyly, and Tony, who glared at everyone there.

"Yeah, go ahead and laugh at the big green guy, instead of the genius, bill-"

"Actually Tony, we are laughing at you," Natasha cut in. "Did you mean to point out that we aren't laughing at your jokes? Because they aren't funny."

"Boom roasted!" Clint yelled, reaching across the table to high-five Widow.

After dinner, Tony headed back down to his workshop to finish his suit. The other went to train. About an hour in, one of Clint's arrows hit Falcon's gauntlet, causing it to break. "Dude! Watch where you're flying!" Hawkeye admonished.

"Ugh! I don't know how to fix this!" Falcon said, examining the broken piece of tech.

"Go tell Tony. He can fix it," Clint suggested.

"I'm not going down there! That music is louder than an alien invasion! And I would know!"

"Well, I'm not either. It's your tech."

"You broke it!" Sam retorted.

"Boys! Rock paper scissors. Loser tells Tony," Steve compromised. Clint and Sam played. Sam won.

"Leave it to Cap to save the day!" Falcon said happily as Hawkeye left the training room.

Tony pounded the metal of his armor, trying to get one last dent out. Clint walked towards the door. Heavy metal music blared. Clint touched the handle. He opened the door.

"Salagadoola menchicka boola

Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Put 'em together and what have you got?

Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

"Jarvis shut up!" Tony screamed.

"Tony? Why were you listening to Cinderella's fairy godmother singing?" Clint wondered out loud, his expression somewhere between worry, amusement, and being freaked out.

"I wasn't listening to it! Jarvis, play my work songs!" Tony said. That would prove his point.

"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears

It's a world of hope and a world of fears
There's so much that we share, that it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all!"

"Jarvis no! Play my work music!"

"Hello, it's me

I was wondering if after all these years-"

"Jarvis, stop." This time, it was Clint. "Really Tony? Adele? Disney was bad enough, but Adele? Come on, man..."

"I swear, I was listening to Metallica! I don't know why this- ...Steve."

"Huh?"

"Steve! It must have been! Who else would replace my music?"

"You're saying that Steve re-programmed Jarvis?" Clint's skepticism was lost on Tony, who was already formulating an action plan.

"Out! I have work to do!"

"But Falcon-"

"Out! I'll fix it later!"

An hour later, the Avengers finished training... Minus Tony, who had synced Cap's ID card with Jarvis's music programming and was now lounging in the parlor with Pepper. Tony thought he had about 45 seconds until the others walked in. Sure enough, after about that long, Clint walked in.

"Wow, Steve sure whipped us into shape today!"

"You need to work out more if you thought that was hard," Natasha replied as she walked in.

"Hey man, you fix my gauntlet yet?" Tony tossed the tech back to it's rightful owner.

"Hulk needs a break," grunted the gentle giant, sitting in front of the couch (Pepper had forbidden him from sitting on the furniture after he broke the second chair.)

"Asgard commends ye, Cap! That was a wonderful time!" Thor said excitedly. Natasha ducked to avoid being hit with an invincible hammer.

As predicted, Steve entered last. As soon as he crossed the doorway, Jarvis registered the number on his ID card and began playing Sousa's Star's and Stripes Forever.

Tony grinned... then stopped quickly. It was supposed to play the chicken dance. Steve had put one arm in the air, holding his shield, and continued standing heroically until the end of the march, when he saluted. Everyone clapped... Except for two people (guess who they were. Yep, you got it. Great job guys!)

Tony looked around in confusion. Natasha slipped back in, unnoticed, a coy grin on her face.

"Your turn to pick, Banner," Steve said.

"Missing in Action," Hulk grunted.

"For the love of Midgard, why does that disaster of a film appeal to you?!" Thor boomed.

"Chuck Norris," Hulk replied, holding his hand out and motioning for the remote. And so the avengers spent the evening with Thor complaining every time the fighting stopped, Tony trying (futilely) to figure out why Jarvis had stopped listening to him, Hulk growling at the TV every time Chuck got hurt, Steve yelling about how "That shouldn't have killed him!" or "That was weak, Norris!" and quickly being shushed by a glare from Hulk, and Natasha and Pepper sitting in the kitchen eating popcorn and complaining about how immature men can be.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you had as much fun reading that as I had writing it! Please review, and let me know any suggestions you have for other one-shots!