I'm trying very hard to think of a plot for this.

The word curious could be applied in both popular senses to the Joker, he was both a curious man and a curious man.

He couldn't stop himself thinking now, having been back home for over 20 hours with his stockpile of T hidden away now rather than just stashed in his sock draw.

Who else was trans?

Himself, Batman, Riddler, Two-face.

He would never have expected so many.

Maybe there was something in the water around here?

Joker smirked to himself; it was kind of nice knowing he wasn't the only one.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. He rolled his eyes, why did people keep bugging him.

"What do you boys want now? I told you you don't need to ask me to go and buy food."

The door opened, and Harley stepped through.

Joker frowned, his fists clenching slightly at the sight of her. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled at him, "Mr J I live here."

"No you don't I threw you out." He looked away from his desk fully and turned his chair to look at her.

"Oh you' still mad about that?" she waved her hand dismissively.

He looked her up and down, her body language, her tone of voice. There was something familiar about it. His eyes narrowed a little. "What do you want Harley?"

She seemed to tighten up a little. The last time they'd talked it hadn't ended all that well.

"Well?" Joker urged.

She sighed softly, "Oh I know I shouldn't have tried to hide it from you, Puddin'."

Joker huffed, "Of course not, you can't pull the wool over my eyes, Harls. Tell me what you want," he gave a wide, fake smile, "I might be nice enough to give it to you."

Harley shrugged, averting her eyes a little, "Well I uh, a buddy of mine," she shifted on her feet a little, giving a soft shrug, "Kinda heard you had some kind'a drug from Arkham, and uh, well… he's kind'a asked me to get it from ya'."

Joker pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head minutely before running his fingers through his hair, leaning back in his chair, "Was it Ed? Tell him to fuck off, I don't have any T."

"No it wasn't Ed," she said with a shake of her head, "I've been asked to keep my patron's identity a secret." She walked further into the room, "And what do you mean you don't have any? Everyone knows you took a bunch of stuff from Arkham."

Joker shook his head, feigning a sad innocence. "Batman took it all. Ed stole it from me, then Batman took it from him."

Harley frowned softly, "Wait, how do you know Batman took it. It could still be at Ed's place!"

Joker's face fell a little, "'You really think that I didn't go down there and try to get it back?" he let out a scoffed laugh, "I was trying to get it back and Batman was already there."

"How did you get away?"

Joker smirked softly, "I appealed to his better nature."

Harley let out a suggestive hum, "Oh really? Something finally happen between you two?"

He chuckled softly, "Don't be so crass, nothing like that happened. He'd never…" he let his voice trail off and his expression change back to an unhappy one, "What does it matter to you anyway. I don't have any T, get lost," he pointed to the door.

She sighed softly "Ok, ok… Pengi is sure gunna be disappointed though."

Joker turned back to the desk, "Good luck dealing with that… Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

.

Penguin was after his T was he…?

Either Penguin himself was trans or he had an underground buyer that was, either was equally likely.

Of course he probably had doctors and such that could get it for him, but free was free.

Most likely the T was for someone else, he couldn't see Penguin putting something unchecked into his body, let alone something had had Joker's fingerprints on it.

Maybe Riddler and Two-face had enlisted Penguins help to retrieve what Joker had.

Joker wouldn't put it past Edward to hide camera all over the apartment, if that was the case then they'd know Joker had the T and they wouldn't give up the case that easily.

If Penguin's men came to see him in the next week or so then it meant it wasn't Riddler and Two-face.

If they came tomorrow it meant it was.

.

Tomorrow came and passed.

.

Joker felt annoyingly on edge, waiting to be attacked, waiting, waiting…

It had been almost a week.

There was no way Penguin would just drop it.

Months' worth of T, it was worth a lot.

It had entered Joker's mind to volunteer them, but he'd quickly dismissed it. The risk was worth it. Having that much T stockpiled, the sense of security, as much as Joker usually loved chaos he loved the knowledge that his drugs were right there.

They were his and Penguin would have to kill him to get to them.

He ran a hand through his hair, a small way of comforting himself as he imagined the scenario.

He didn't want to deal with this, he had bigger fish to fry. He wanted things back to normal, it seemed recently everything he did related back to his being trans, honestly it was something he didn't like having at the front of his mind. Made him feel bad.

He should have just dealt with the cramps. At least they only lasted a few days and not weeks like this mess had.

Although it was nice knowing that Batman, Riddler, and Two-face were trans also. It was a strange sort of comfort but comfort none the less.

It made him feel closer to Batman, that was nice, Batman probably thought the same thing.

He could imagine it now, Batman, sitting on his bat-chair infront of his bat-tv, wishing that Joker would set up one of his infamous traps, that they could fight again, perhaps share a few longing looks whilst beating the shit out of each other.

He bit his lip and let out a soft breath.

He would kill for that right now.

How long would it be until Penguin came after him?

The sooner Penguin came for him, the sooner Joker beat him, the sooner he could get back to regular life.

"Coward…" Joker muttered to himself, hoping the verbalisation might somehow tempt the man to him.

After a moment stood up, letting his chair fall to the floor behind him.

Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't things go back to normal? He didn't want more people to find out. He didn't want to have to fight over this.

He picked up the chair and threw it halfway across the room, it landed with an unsatisfying thud. He wished it had smashed. He wanted to break something. He needed to get rid of the tension hanging over his head.

He marched into the bedroom and angrily threw on a shirt and a pair of trousers, slipping on his heels and stomping out of the hideout and into the street. He couldn't handle it. He needed this over.

If Penguin wasn't going to come to him then he would go to Penguin.

.

"You can't come in," the guard of the iceberg lounge said sternly, "Not after last time."

Joker painted on his friendliest of smiles, "Oh come on, Philip was it? You gotta let me in, I'm a friend of Oz's."

"Yeah, not according to him," the guard snarled, "And it's not Phillip, you and your girlfriend killed Phillip the last time you showed up."

Joker pulled a face, "Oh, oopsy? No hard feelings?" he reached out to pat the guards arm.

The guard pulled away, "Get out of here."

Joker frowned and nodded a little, "Ok… Kiddo, look. Unless you wanna end up like Phillip you'll let me in. Don't you know who I am? I'm the Joker! The clown price of crime! I own this town buddy."

The guard stood still, blocking his path, crossing his arms.

Joker's eyebrows raised, "Well alright, you asked for it I guess!" He reached into his pocket.

Where was his….

Oh shit.

He'd left his gun at home.

"Of all the blasted things…" he mumbled to himself. "Alright, alright, I'll go, for now. But mark my words, when I come back, and I will come back, you'll be the first one I'll kill."

The door behind them opened.

Another man stuck his head out, dressed in a uniform similar to the guard's. He looked down at Joker with dead eyes. "Joker?"

"The very same," Joker smirked.

"Penguin wants to talk with you. Come with me."

Joker's smile widened, he gave the guard a smug look and slowly pushed his way passed. "Toodle-oo jackass. I'll see you later."

As the guard led Joker up the stairs he could feel his mind racing, fast enough that it might give him a headache.

He was sure he was walking into a trap. He didn't have his gun. How had he forgotten his gun?

He patted down his pockets once more to check.

Oh, it seemed he had a knife stashed in one of his jacket pockets.

That might come in handy, though he was sure he'd do fine without it.

The guard opened the door to Penguin's office and let him through.

"Pengi, hi, how are you ol' pal," Joker said with a soft chuckle as he walked through the large white room, further into what he was sure was a trap.

Penguin looked up at him from behind his desk. "Joker. I've been expecting you. I suppose Harley told you she was working for me?"

Joker nodded, smiling, "You should know by now you can't trust her with secrets."

Penguin huffed, nodding in reluctant agreement. "Yeah… Well, now you're here, I wanted to talk to y'. I've procured some of the security tapes from around Edward's apartment and I've got footage of Batman that proves you weren't lying to Harley."

Joker held back a grin, choosing instead a hard nod. "I didn't think you'd believe me either way… Why did you want it anyway?"

Penguin huffed, "I won't ask why you wanted it if you don't ask me. But like I said, I' got footage now that proves the bat's got it. Now, uh," he dented his fingers, "I wanted to ask you if you'd be interested in getting the stuff back from him."

Joker let himself smile now, "Oh, of course." He put his hands on the desk and leant over it slightly, "What's your plan?"

.

Joker found himself laughing for the majority of that evening. This was so hilarious. He burst out laughing on the walk home and never stopped. Eating that night had been interesting.

Thank god Batman had helped him home that night. Now his T was safe for good and he was going to fight Batman again. The best thing was that Penguin didn't even suspect him of still having it. There was no way he'd go into such much detail with his plan if it was a ruse to put Joker off guard.

Batman wouldn't even know why they were coming after him.

This was going to be perfect!

There was no way he'd be able to sleep tonight.

reviews are appreciated lol