Artemis Fowl Senior looked at his newborn son with cold, calculating eyes. Big blue eyes stared back at him, unblinking. He didn't look like much, Mr. Fowl eventually decided.

Ignoring the expectant look of his beautiful wife and the stoïc expression of the Butler in the corner of the hospital room he got up and left, in his opinion already having wasted enough time on his future heir.

The latter who looked after him, an intelligent glint now in his eyes, and then turned back to his mother, in his young but active mind deciding he already wasted enough time on his supposed father.

"Hey mommy, look what I made!" A four-year-old Artemis Fowl called excitedly, holding up a drawing.

He carefully hid his disgust at the terrible slang words he was using and instead put a childishly proud expression on his face, acting like a normal child like he had been doing for the past five years. No matter how much he practiced, he could never really get used to his preciously preserved role... It just was not him, exactly.

He should get a diploma for his acting skills, he mused silently, definitely not for the first time, and not for the last time either.

"Mom, are we theeere yet?" Artemis, now seven years old, whined from the back seat of their expensive limo. He had settled into his role as much as he could, and liked to make himself believe that he even enjoyed it. He refused to accept the feeling of emptiness that came whenever his father ignored him again, or the feeling of guilt that welled up in him if his mother smiled down at him, just happy to have a normal child. Because he was Artemis Fowl the Second, and he did not do feelings. (he wondered why his father did not accept him, though, time and time again, on lonely nights, and tried to act more normal, maybe father would like him then)

"Artemis, you've asked that ten times in the last five minutes now." Butler said, trying to frown sternly but failing to hide the amused expression on his face. Artemis just sighed and slumped, against the window, like any ordinary child would do. He knew he had the advantage over any enemy that he might gain, and if he had displayed his actual intellect he would probably have been killed by now, but sometimes Artemis wondered if it was really worth all the lies.

Artemis Fowl, age ten, was rather pleased. He had just published a short (56207 words) post on psychology under the name Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe, a rather obvious but devious pseudonym if you asked Artemis(you won't, nobody does, after all), and had again managed to connect the writing to a NASA worker, who would undoubtedly be confused as to why his work computer said he uploaded a psychology lecture from a spaceship that wasn't even functional.

Artemis proceeded to walk downstairs, absent-mindedly flicking his eyes over the form of Butler reading a weapon magizine in the kitchen, and continued into the living room. He smiled in greeting, expecting his mother to be sitting on the couch reading a book, like she always was around this time. The smile faded away when he saw his mother on the phone, deathly pale. The book lay forgotten on the floor. His thoughts raced through his mind. Was someone sick?

No, who would have gotten sick to make his mom- as he had slowly gotten used to calling his mother that- look like that? Besides, mom didn't have the optimistic everyone-can-be-saved look in her eyes that she always got when another person was sick. Maybe something bad happened to someone she knew? No- the Fowls did not have many associates. The ones they did have were already in the house, with the exception of-

Father.

Artemis felt his heart turn to lead and quietly sat down on the couch. He strained his ears to try and understand what the person on the other side of the phone was saying, but he could only hear soft mumbling. He looked at his mother, terrified of what she was going to say. She looked back at Artemis with tears in her eyes.

She mumbled a few affirmatives into the phone and hung up. A part of Artemis' subconscious noticed her voice was shaking. She turned to him. "Artemis... Your father's ship..." She managed before she threw herself forward and hugged Artemis, sobbing and repeating "I'm so sorry." over and over again. Artemis was in shock. He refused to believe something bad happened to father. Because it was his father, dammit, and even though they had never gotten along his father was still his father and wouldn't just leave his wife and child!

He heard the door open and saw Butler standing in the door opening, concern on his face but keeping quiet.

A rogue tear escaped from his eye.

"Artemis Fowl II, age twelve, normal mudboy. Average grades in school, rich family, comfy life, everything. Are you sure we're talking about the same kid?"

Root sighed in annoyance. "Yes Foaly, this is the mudboy who hacked into your system."

"Not possible."

"Well obviously your tech isn't as good as you thought it was."

"Hey! My technology is perfectly fine!"

"Tell that to the twelve-year-old."

Foaly sighed. Root was getting too much enjoyment from this.

"There are more things that don't fit, anyway. Why would he hack my files, but only look at the grades of... 'Luppy Wilkins, pixie, Lormoss School'?

Root's eyes narrowed. "I'll pay that pixie a visit."

In Fowl Manor Artemis watched the happenings through the security camera the centaur Foaly had so conveniently placed in the corner of his office, and smiled devilishly. He rather liked doing that, it made him feel devious. In this case, it was deserved. The centaur had no idea what files Artemis had actually accessed, or even that he had accessed them.

Everything was going to plan.