Hey, thanks for clickin' on this story, Uzumaki Goes Home! or UGH!. Heh, yes, that was indeed on purpose; the acronym came first to me. Hope you enjoy.

I drew the cover, if any of ya were wondering *wink*.

Warning, If you're vehemently against fem!Naru, Kaka/fem!Naru, time travel fics, then I suggest you hightail the fuck outta here because this Naruto's gonna be very girly (not really but she's gonna have a pair of tits eventually), very in love with Kakashi (not any time soon cuz that'll be weird but still, eventually), and very... uh, prone to time travel? Not sure if that's the right way to put it tbh but well, anyways, yes. If you are scared of any of that I implore you to escape while you can because I fell hard for all this stuff.

And, another warning, this introductory chapter might be a little hard to keep up with, you'll see why in a bit, but don't worry, this isn't how it's gonna be like for the other chapters (except maybe some side-chapters, or flashback chapters if I decide to do those). The chapters I've sketched out later are definitely clearer and smoother than this first one.

I made the prologue choppy 'cuz:
1. I wanted them to look more like tidbits/flashbacks of Naruto's life before time traveling
2. and feel fast and simple, more like an explanation... personally when I check out a story I just wanna get a feel of what it's gonna be like content wise on the first page so I had sorta assumed that would be what other readers might like?

Summary (the longer version):

Uzumaki Naruto finds herself in truly deep shit when she literally falls out of her time and into history. How did she do that, you ask?

Well.

ーIn the Konoha Military Police Force main officeー

Fugaku Uchiha wearily watches the scene in front of him, listening to the girl rant rather than explain the situation, as she has been doing for the past ten minutes.

"Now I'm only gonna say this one last time so make sure y'all are paying attention." Naruto huffed. "Long story short, I copied an incomplete seal off the Forbidden Scroll onto my shirt like, half a year ago I think. I unearthed it amongst other things this morning when Sakura-chan was making me do some spring cleaningーyes, I know it's still the beginning of winter shut the hell upー"

"We didn't say anything!"

"ーand afterwards fell off the ceiling right on top of it." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, oblivious to the ire of the now completely dressed middle aged woman next to her. "Yeah, even I admit I should do something about my room now."

"You mean my room, you dirty, lying, perverted little girl!"

"Ow, ow, ow, stop slapping me you damn hag!"

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I am merely writing this for my own entertainment and hopefully yours.

EDIT (3/22/2017 lol it hasn't even been a day and I'm already editing): Added titles to the scenes.

Uzumaki Naruto (12) on the night of Genin Exam day

"What do you think you're doing in my office at this hour?"

Naruto's blonde pigtails shot up as she flinched, and she slowly turned around to face the Third Hokage. Knowing she was caught, she hastily brought her hands together to form the seal for—

"Oiroke no jutsu!"

A thump, and Naruto cautiously glanced back to see the old man lying down on the floor, in a pool of his own blood. Stepping over his crumpled form, she smirked at his flushed face and bloody nose.

"You make it too easy, Jijii!"

"First thing on this damn thing is the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu?" No way was she gonna waste her time on the goddamn bunshin technique. "Next!"

The frown on her face grew bigger and bigger as she kept unrolling the scroll, until—finally! One that stood out from the rest.

"Time travel? What, what, what?" She unrolled the scroll further, and brought it up to her face, almost disbelieving what was written down. "A time traveling seal, huh? That's so cool."

Her drawing skills were pretty good, always have been, and if it's just copying whatever design this seal was, she could do it in a jiffy. "Ugh! If only I brought some paper… all I've got is my lucky pen from this morning…"

Load of luck that pen was too… she failed spectacularly on the written exam.

She unzipped her oversized jacket and looked down at her worn shirt. Eh. She supposes she could manage with one less shirt.

Naruto then rushed—something she'll learn to regret when she realizes that things should not be rushed for a reason—to copy what was shown on the scroll on the back of her orange shirt.

When she was finished, she put her shirt back on before unrolling the scroll further, ready to move on… And it was then that she read the small writing at the end of the section for the seal she just copied.

"Whaddya mean it's fuckin' incomplete-ttebayo!"

She kept unrolling, moving on to search for other jutsus, until she finally gave out a sigh. "None of these really pop out to me."

Then, a thought came to her… hold on, why don't I complete this seal? She could learn how to do fuinjutsu. She could master it. She would master it. She would be the best seals user and hokage ever!

(Then… then, just maybe, she could find the answers to all her questions, the hopeful voice in her head whispered.)

But first, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to give that shadow clone technique a try…"

Uzumaki Naruto (12), a week after graduating the academy

"Nah, nah, Iruka-sensei," Naruto grinned as she tugged on her beloved former teacher. "Don'cha have some books on sealing that I could borrow?"

Umino Iruka blinked, "Sealing? Why?" He squinted his eyes at her. "What made you change your mind about the art? I remember you were snoring quite loudly during the class I went over it."

The girl gave a sheepish grin, scratching at her left cheek. She took a moment to thin. Telling him from what seal exactly she got the inspiration to learn would either be a really bad idea, or a really, really bad idea. But, it was Iruka-sensei, and she was never good at keeping a secret from Iruka-sensei, anyways. So she decided to keep it very brief. "You see, I came across this interesting looking seal in the Forbidden Scroll – y'know, from the time you got stabbed in the back for me at the forest—" at that, Iruka gave her head a light slap, "—and I wanted to study it-ttebayo."

Umino raised his brow again.

"You? Want to study? No, no, wait," He sighed and raised his arms to try and calm the riled up girl. "I'm glad you're showing interest in a subject, but sealing is some tricky and dangerous business. There is a reason there aren't many sealmasters around, Naruto."

"I know, I know!" Naruto huffed. "But it's still worth a shot, right?" This could turn out just like the shadow clone, a lucky find. Who knows, this might just be her thing. And if not, well… she sucked at everything else, so what's one more gonna do?

He watched her for a moment, and perhaps it was her stubbornness that he wasn't bothered to go against or the sharp look of determination in her face that he'd barely ever seen before, because somehow, he relented.

"Come by my apartment later, Naruto, I'll give you some of my books." He ruffled her hair. "I never read them so they're just collecting dust now, anyways."

Naruto's eyes grew wide and mouth fell open. She screeched.

"Fuck yeah! —ow!"

Team Seven on their second C-rank

"Naruto, where's your food?"

At Sakura's question, Naruto grinned. "I was waiting for someone to ask me that-ttebayo." She rummaged through her very empty bag (which was funny, because she attempted to bring luggage fit enough for ten people on their first C-rank, Sakura remembered with a dry smile), before getting out one rather small scroll. "Behold!"

At Sasuke and Sakura's unamused stare, Naruto hastily unrolled it. "You got a storage seal." Sakura stated after a slight beat of silence, and Naruto's grin was back.

"No, I made a storage seal." She waggled her brows, chest puffed out in pride.

Kakashi blinked. So the young Uzumaki was dabbling in the sealing arts now, was she?

"Yeah?" Sakura challenged, "Well what's inside?"

A small spike of chakra and a poof later, they were facing a mountain of cup ramen the size of the trees around them. They were a while away from the Konoha walls, assigned the mission of scouting the wilderness around their village for a few days to see if anything's amiss.

The size of the trees here are nothing to scoff at. There is a reason their village is named Village Hidden in the Leaves, after all.

Sasuke said nothing, as usual, but his face spoke volumes.

"Naruto…" Said girl beamed, not hearing the threat in her pink-haired teammate's voice.

"I know, amazing, right?"

"You idiot!" Bop.

"Ow!"

"That's nice and all, Naruto," Kakashi cut in before further violence could ensue, eyeing the miniature mountain, "But how are you going to get the hot water?"

Uzumaki Naruto (12), a week before the Chunin Exams

It was always a "maybe later," or "perhaps you should focus on getting your aim at throwing better," or even, "uh, wait until I finish this chapter".

But no, today... today she was going to finally make him teach her!

So here Naruto Uzumaki was, in front of Kakashi's doorstep. Her notebook and fuinjutsu starter-kit were held tightly to her chest, while her right fist was up ready to knock. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. This time, this time for sure…!

It was then that Kakashi opened the door.

"Why, hello there Naruto. it's so nice of you to visit."

The girl was standing there opening and closing her mouth like a fish, her mind suddenly blank. Perhaps she was just imagining it, but she swears she saw the left corner of his mouth twitch.

"Hmm?"

Naruto quickly gathered her wits, and a determined look settled in her face.

The man chuckled. Yes, definitely their child. "Well, you're not just going to stand there are you?" At her wide eyes, he eye-smiled. "Come in, I've got some scrolls you can practice making storage seals on."

A month after Uzumaki Naruto's 13th Birthday

Her voice roared his name thunderously across the Valley of the End, and it echoed as she stood, atop Hashirama's head.

He stopped, and slowly turned to face her. His response was so familiar, yet so not at the same time. Naruto could only widen her eyes in shock, her throat suddenly dry and blood pounding hard in her ears. Sasuke's eyes were so...

Cold.

Her eyes followed the markings marring the right side of his face, tracing it down to the seal on his neck before it was hidden under his collar as he shifted.

If only she learned earlier, faster, if only she had more time…

Could things have changed?

Sasuke. Can you even hear me?

Two days before Uzumaki Naruto (13) leaves Konoha with Jiraiya

"Sakura-chaaaan," she whined, making sure it was as loud and obnoxious as her voice would let it. "It's cleaner than it has been for the past month, cut me some slack-ttebayo."

Naruto was slumped over the edge of her dining table. She was pouting heavily, and looking not at all bothered to move away any time soon.

The nerves in Sakura's temples were threatening to pop at this point. "Naruto-chan, of course it's cleaner than it has been for the past month, because the last time you cleaned was when I came over to visit, which was half a year ago!" At Naruto's opening mouth readying to retort Sakura snapped, "And don't try to lie to me I know you." She unceremoniously dumped the garbage bag of empty cup ramen by Naruto's feet, and bopped the blonde's head.

"Ow!"

Sakura huffed in irritation. Really, all she came here for was to find Naruto, because she wasn't in the training field. This was one of their last training sessions before the girl leaves with Jiraiya-sama on her training trip, and, despite Kakashi's constant and excessive tardiness they had always made sure to come on time to warm up, spar for a bit, so that they could get more out of their training once their darn sensei decided to show up.

She sighed. It looks like the blonde forgot.

Shaking her head, Sakura pulled Naruto up off the table by the collar of her jacket and smirked. Naruto looked like a puppy held by the scruff of its neck.

"Now quit being such a pathetic slob and help me clean your own apartment, Naruto, before I start trashing your entire special cup ramen collection!" At this, Naruto paled.

"Aye sir!"

Grumbling, Naruto peeled off a brown shirt that was stuck under the cupboard. She wasn't sure when she spilled that bowl of ramen, but from how sticky and smelly and moldy the shirt was it was probably quite a while ago.

There, that should be the last of the shirts. As she took off her gloves she looked down on the pile, and laid the semi-hardened shirt she just peeled off at the top. Oh, Naruto blinked. She stood up and rubbed her hands on her pants, looking at the last shirt.

What was that squiggly looking black stain?

Taking a closer look, she realized it was from the back of the shirt, and turned it around. It took her a moment, before realizing, "Oh, this is where that orange shirt went! I've been looking everywhere for you, y'know."

It was from the Mizuki Incident. So that's how long ago the spill was from.

She chuckled before taking a step back and turning her head up. "Now…"

She stared at the ceiling—or more specifically, the unidentifiable slime stuck on the ceiling.

"How should I get that down?"

When Sakura came into Naruto's bedroom, she was surprised to find the blonde already inside. So this was where she was. Naruto had been gone for so long Sakura had wondered if she was even in the apartment at all.

Sakura's eyes were blank as she looked around the small room, no wonder. After this long you'd expect the room to at least look decent.

A few meters in front of her was a pile of gooey—wait, were those shirts…? Brows furrowing, she looked up.

"Naruto, why are you on the ceiling?"

Naruto let out a yelp, and suddenly she was falling head down. "W—woah!" Waving her arms around, she tried to break her fall with her hands.

When a hand connected to the top of her shirt pile, well, that was when everything went straight to hell.

Kakashi was strolling into Naruto's apartment when it happened. He came by to look for his two remaining students, because they weren't in the training grounds when he went, three hours late as usual.

He raised a brow at the sudden spike of chakra, and then raised both when another spike, more like a pulse, came. This one was much bigger, stronger; he wouldn't be surprised if it reached the Hokage tower. And… more importantly…

This one had been a burst of chakra with the Kyuubi's chakra.

He was by the bedroom door in a second, shielding his eyes from the blinding light and powerful gusts of wind. He immediately went to Sakura's side, and yelled through the noise around them, "What's going on?!"

"K-Kakashi-sensei—Naruto—" Sakura struggled to form words on her head and mouth as bunches of her bubblegum hair kept whipping at her face, "—She's…"

Her voice died as the wind and light finally relented, letting them see in front of them.

"Oh."

Day One

She was drained in mind and body. But even more than that, she felt… empty, somehow? Not in just energy but… Something's not right. She just couldn't tell what. Perhaps she was just hungry. Making a face, she decided to think about that later, because now every fibre of her being hurt. Naruto felt like a parade of elephants had come and trampled all over her unconscious body. And maybe her head, too. Turned it into a pile of mush 'cause of how fucking much it hurt-ttebayo! When she twitched, there were spasms all over her body. Every muscle in her body was unbearably tense.

Once the spasms left, she tried to get up slowly. That was when she heard a crash, and turned to see a plump woman who looked like she just got out of the shower. Naruto's eyes roamed up from the pink turban on her head, to the pink fluffy towels tied around the body, then down to the pink, bulbous slippers.

Naruto blinked. "Who the hell're you?"

The woman gaped, before letting out a shrill shriek.

Of course, the one day he gets to relax without being bothered by the clan elders, he is urgently requested at the Konoha Military Police Force office.

Fugaku Uchiha wearily watches the scene in front of him, listening to the girl rant rather than explain the situation, as she has been doing for the past ten minutes.

"—And that's what happened! For the billionth time, I said I don't what exactly happened beyond that, and I don't know why my bedroom's now being occupied by some old granny-ttebayo!" He assumed the blonde girl was referring to the rather plump woman—who looked to be in her late forties, not too old, but not young either—near her, who was barely being held back by two of his other officers. "Where is this place anyways? The hell?"

Sighing irritably, he finally asked his men, alerting them of his presence for the first time since entering the office.

"What is going on here?" Somehow, his low voice managed to be heard above the shrill outbursts of the 'old granny'.

"Fugaku-sama!" When one of the officers holding the girl down let go, he was abruptly punched in the chin.

It was then that the clan head was able to get a look at the girl's face.

Those were quite vibrant blue eyes she's got there… With the blonde hair, it reminded him of… a man he would rather not think about right now. "I repeat, what is going on?"

"Oh great, they send in another guy." The blonde grumbled, not bothering to look at him. "Just take me to the Hokage, she'll probably tell both you lot and I what the hell is happening."

"She?" Fugaku raised a brow. Last time he checked, the Hokage looked like a man. Not bothering to comment this, he pinned the girl with a harsh glare. "Girl, what's your name?"

"I'm Uzumaki—" His dark brows shot up, "—Naruto-dattebayo."

"And you said you were in your apartment cleaning, before you magically appeared in this woman's," he gave the middle-aged woman a glance, before quickly looking away when he saw hearts in her eyes, "bedroom, was it?"

Naruto gave a very loud groan. "Yes, yes, yes!" She'd rather not remember the old hag's steamy, pink, fuffy towel clad form, thank you very much.

Fugaku glared.

Naruto glared.

The old hag glared.

"I'm taking her to the Hokage. Not a word of this... case leaves this room."

They were gone in a swirl of leaves, leaving four, exhausted chunin, a weary jounin, and a very irate middle aged civilian behind.

The Hokage's secretary stared at the Uchiha clan head, then at the blonde girl in his grasp. "Hokage-sama is currently with company at the moment," At the orange-clad genin's obviously rising ire, she hurried, "but he'll be done shortly so please—"

"Obaachan, I'm comin' in-ttebayo!"

The door slammed open and in strutted Naruto, the girl in blonde twin pigtails and orange tracksuit. Confident and ready to blow.

…Well, that is until she saw that the Hokage wasn't Tsunade-baachan. And next to him, was a blond man with blue eyes wide in shock, but she didn't really register him because…

"Ji…jii?!"

I'll be posting up the second chapter soon-ttebayo. Thanks for readin'.

And there was a review that brought up a point perhaps some of you might have thought about as well (I got their permission to post this review!):

I'm surprised that she didn't realise that something is wrong when she was held back by Uchiha police when in her time almost all of them were dead. She couldn't overlook the clan signs on every single one of them...

Thirteen year old Naruto being perhaps the least observant of all shinobi alone could probably allow her to miss this but there is another reason.
The Konoha Military Police force was founded by the Uchiha clan, however it did not only consist of the Uchiha (though it mostly did until the massacre). It continued even after the massacre, though less prominent.
And, the Uchiha wore their clan symbol on the back of their shirts, which was hidden by the green flak jackets they were required to wear on duty.

I got much of this info from .com (there's even pictures), if you want to go check it out. That site is amazing.