Disclaimer: Jon Bokenkamp & NBC; all rights reserved . This fanfic is a work of fiction. It details my own imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental.

Chapter 1

Did you drink Scotch?

I did. But there were only two people who had access to the bottle…and I am one of them.

Who was the other?

No, it can't be.

Reddington, talk to me. Who poisoned you?

That can't be…

The phone fell from Red's ear to his lap and he felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. Had Dembé, with retrospect to recent events, turned traitor? Red couldn't believe it but what other explanation could there be?

'Raymond, are you OK? You're suddenly white as a sheet'.

Red slowly turned to see Marvin still standing in his living room. Shivers racked through his body and he could neither speak nor move.

'Raymond? What did they say?' Marvin insisted.

'Marvin…please leave...I need some—time—alone,' Red said, teeth clenched. It took all his will to force the words out but Marvin nodded. Before stepping out, Marvin turned around. 'Just to be clear…I would never betray you Red. Not after everything you've done for Becky and me.'

Red nodded and silently waved his hand.

Reddington's apartment at Bethesda was in darkness when Lizzy pulled up to the curb, and for a moment she was worried Reddington was not there. She got out of her car, walked inside and to her relief one of his main guards, who was standing outside his front door, let her in. Inside, Lizzy stepped forward and reached around the door frame, feeling along the wall for a light switch. As her fingers found it she pressed it in. Light flooded the living room in which a window was still open, the curtains fluttering with the wind.

'Red?'

'Dembé?'

No response.

Walking around, Lizzy suddenly glimpsed Red through the open bedroom door. He lay sprawled on top of his big double bed, fully clothed but out cold. He lay uncovered, one arm flung over his face. Lizzy tiptoed quietly into the room, grabbed a duvet from the wardrobe and placed it over his body, then stood for a moment, watching him in slumber. Red groaned in his sleep and turned over. Carefully, Lizzy touched his shoulder, the skin beneath his shirt surprisingly warm given the chilly bedroom.

'You'll be fine…just sleep it off, she said softly. Red's shoulder visibly relaxed, settling more deeply into sleep and to her confusion, Lizzy suddenly had to fight the urge to crawl next to him and hold him. Red had looked so vulnerable today and she'd never seen him vulnerable before. When her cell phone suddenly buzzed, Lizzy groaned annoyingly; knowing it was the nanny. Lizzy had promised her to be home in time because the nanny wanted to get away for the weekend. Lizzy hated leaving Reddington after the ordeal he'd went through but realized Agnes needed her more right now, and her daughter's wellbeing always came first.

The following Monday, Lizzy was the last one to arrive at the Post Office. She had tried to contact Reddington several times during the weekend but without success. This morning, she had tried to get in touch with him as soon as she got up, then on her way to the shower, and then once more before she even had time to dry her hair but there had been no answer. As she went into her office, Aram noticed the worried frown on her face.

'Is everything alright Liz?' he asked with a friendly smile.

Lizzy shook her head, 'I can't get in touch with Reddington. I haven't heard from him all weekend. I'm worried.'

Aram stepped inside and sat down across from Lizzy. 'Have you tried calling Dembé?'

Lizzy nodded and hugged her waist. 'Well, that is one other thing that bothers me. Dembé wasn't there last Friday and when I tried to call him today, his phone seems to be out of order.'

Lizzy looked at Aram for what seemed to be a long time before she asked, 'Do you think there's a chance the poison did its work after all?'

'No, stop thinking like that,' Aram replied. 'Just because you can't reach Mr. Reddington, does not mean he's dead. There can be all sorts of explanations why you haven't heard from him. Let's not start jumping to conclusions.'

'Then why hasn't he been in contact?' Lizzy replied with some heat, immediately regretting her outburst.

'What's going on in here?' Cooper asked as he stepped into Liz' office. Aram took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 'Agent Keen thinks there might be something wrong with Mr. Reddington. She hasn't heard from him all weekend.'

Harold Cooper glanced at Lizzy,' When did you last speak to him?'

Lizzy was quiet for a moment but when she spoke, she sounded calmer. 'Last Friday. I checked up on him before going home.' Her voice wobbled slightly and she swallowed before continuing. 'He was asleep but he was OK. What if something happened to him during the weekend? He was all by himself. The Doc said he was not sure how much damage, the poison did. What if he choked?' Lizzy halted and swallowed hard, 'Is it OK if I check up on him?' she asked.

'Sure.' Cooper nodded reassuringly. 'But if something is out of the ordinary, call for back-up immediately.'

'I will!'

'Do you want Samar to go with you?' Cooper asked.

Lizzy shook her head, 'No, I'll be fine….be back in an hour!'

Lizzy's heart was pounding in her throat as she knocked on Reddington's apartment door. No answer.

'Baz is he in?' she asked.

The tall guard hunched his shoulders. 'He must be. I've heard him stumbling around.'

'Could you please open the door for me?'

Baz nodded and let her into Reddington's apartment. She frowned when she spotted him; Red looked a mess. He was unshaved, had dark bags under his eyes and looked as if he hadn't slept or showered in days. He was wearing a pair of dress pants and a white undershirt which was wrinkled and not something, he would usually wear. His eyes seemed to be staring straight through her and she held her breath for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke. 'Why are you here Elizabeth?'

'I wanted to make sure you were alright. I tried to call you…several times,' she said softly. She had never seen Red like this before and it worried her, but she kept her thoughts to herself.

Reddington chuckled sarcastically, 'Why? Everyone else has betrayed me, abandoned me, or left me. Come to think of it…,' he continued without mercy. 'You've started this…when you faked your death. Kate paid the price for that little scheme and since Dembé couldn't forgive me for that, he felt the need to poison—'. Red began his accusations infuriating but trailed off to nothing, clearly unable to say the words he was thinking. Invisible pincers squeezed his throat and the muscles in his jaw, tensed to the point of pain. That was when his cracked lips began to quiver.

Lizzy's head shot up and she stared at him in amazement. Red's voice was barely recognisable completely wrecked with bitterness. This man was so different from the man she knew.

'Red, I'm so sorry,' Lizzy said after several minutes. 'I never meant to hurt you.' A tear rolled down her cheek. Red looked up and swore but pulled out a clean, white handkerchief handing it to her. Their fingertips touched briefly as she took the cloth from him, touching off a flash of memories; what she and Red had shared that one night had been beautiful and Lizzy held on to that memory as if it were a lifeline. She would never forget the way; Red had looked at her when they had made love. She knew they had crossed a line when they slept together on that ship but Red had never mentioned it again and when Lizzy had told him she was pregnant; he'd assumed the baby was Tom's. She'd never had the courage to tell him that Agnes was actually his.

'I want you to leave,' Red said in a quiet voice.

'Red—'

'Please GO.' Lizzy's heart twisted inside her as she met Red's angry gaze. Maybe in time, he could forgive her, accept what had brought her to faking her death, but not right now. Red's features were hard and impassive as he stared at Lizzy and once more his blue/grey eyes reminded her of their shared night. But the emotions she saw now were grim and disturbing. While his stoic expression revealed nothing, his gaze reflected a dark emotion Lizzy couldn't quite decipher.

'LEAVE.' Red called out in a hoarse voice.

The door opened and Lizzy turned her head to see Baz standing in the doorway. Lizzy stepped away from Red and closed her eyes, too tired to argue with him. She cleared her throat.

'You'll have to talk to someone eventually.' Lizzy's voice was quiet yet firm. 'You know where to find me.'

'Dembé'.

'Dembé Zuma. He is a Muslim freedom fighter from South Sudan and Reddington's bodyguard, driver and confidante. He's missing.' Lizzy said firmly while a picture of Dembé appeared on screen, back at the Post Office.

'We don't know much about the guy…do we?' Ressler said while he pointed at the screen. 'He hardly speaks.'

'Red once told me that he saved Dembé at the age of 14 from the world of human trafficking. He'd found him half-dead in the basement of a brothel in Nairobi. Reddington took him in, nursed him back to health and made sure he got an education, and that is why—, 'Lizzy swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the sudden lump in her throat, '—I have a hard time believing that it was Dembé who poisoned Reddington.'

'What?' The team gazed at Lizzy in amazement.

'Reddington told me it was Dembé who'd poisoned him!'

Ressler chuckled sarcastically. 'So much for loyalty.'

'I'm afraid, there's more,' Lizzy said softly while staring at the floor. 'A few weeks ago, Dembé came to see me. He told me he was worried about Red. He was unable to reach him and he only seemed to care about me…and Agnes.' Lizzy halted.

'What else?' Cooper asked impatiently.

'Apparently, Reddington killed Mr. Kaplan because she helped to fake my death.' Lizzy finally said.

'Nah. This doesn't make sense,' Ressler said while he kept staring at Dembé's picture on the screen.

'What do you mean?' Samar asked.

'If he tried to poison Reddington than why gather a medical team? He could have just let him die.'

Lizzy felt nauseous at hearing those cold words but nodded, 'You're right. There must be another explanation why Dembé is on the run.'

Cooper cleared his throat, 'Okay, let's get Reddington in here. He is the only one who knows where we can find Mr. Zuma. Elisabeth, persuade him to come in. Reddington is our biggest asset. This just can't go all to waste. '

Lizzy hesitated. She knew Red would refuse. Suddenly she wished she could flee too. Summoning up courage, she walked back to her office to retrieve her gun from the cabinet. She then looked at her reflection and took a few deep breaths. This is it, Lizzy. Moment of truth, she thought to herself while studying her gun and placing it in its holster. When she turned around, she found Ressler in the door opening, watching her.

'You okay?' He asked. 'You sounded a bit funny.'

'I'm fine,' Liz said but she could barely get the words out. She then sighed deeply, 'It's just…I don't know how I can convince him to come in. He was really upset when I spoke to him this morning.'

'Liz,' Ressler said slowly, '…why don't you start by telling him the truth?'

'Huh, what?' Lizzy asked nervously licking her lips, and then she frowned. 'What do you mean? The truth about…what?'

Ressler softly chuckled. 'Come on Liz. I've seen Agnes. There's no way in hell, Tom Keen is that baby's father.'

Lizzy clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle a scream and for a moment she felt as though she was going to faint. She quickly stepped in front of Ressler and said, 'You can't tell anyone. I need to keep my daughter safe. If they ever find out Agnes is Reddington's—.' Lizzy shook her head and quickly wiped away a tear, finding its way down her cheek. She sniffed. 'Please Ressler?'

Donald raised his eyebrows, 'Liz, I'm here because you can trust me. I would never—.' Ressler sighed deeply and sat down, 'Please, sit down; I have to tell you something.'

Leaning back in her car seat, Lizzy's thoughts painfully drifted to Ressler. His girlfriend Audrey Bidwell had been pregnant when Wujing killed her. Ressler had found out afterwards. He'd told her, he had been devastated by Audrey's death but what had made things worse was that she had not told him, she was carrying his baby. Lizzy's eyes closed tightly, her mind swirling through a storm of questions; Do I tell Reddington? How will he react? What about Tom? Will Agnes ever still be safe? By the time, Lizzy reached Reddington's apartment, she still wasn't sure what to do.

Reddington's main guard, Baz was sitting outside his door. Lizzy sighed inwardly, foreseeing he would have orders not to let her in.

'Baz…I have to see him!'

'I'm sorry Miss Keen but can't let you in'. Lizzy grimaced but noticed there was no hostility in Baz' eyes as he looked down on her.

She tried again, 'It's really important that I speak to him!'

The guard clenched his jaw but a small smile curved his lips, 'Whatever…I have to go take a leak and when I return, you're gone okay?'

Lizzy nodded. 'Thanks Baz'.

Lizzy found Reddington in the kitchen and it was apparent that his state of mind hadn't changed. He was still unshaved, wearing the same dress pants and the white wrinkled T-shirt.

When he spotted her, he breathed an angry sigh. 'Isn't there anyone I can trust around here?'

Lizzy's stomach churned but she played it off, 'I need to talk to you.'

'Can't you take no for an answer,' Red said bitterly.

'Red, please…it's important!' Lizzy mentally prepared herself, to be sent on her feet but to her surprise Red sat down opposite her.

'What?'

'We don't think Dembé poisoned you. It's not logical. Why would he poison you and then drive you to a safe house for medical attention?'

Red hunched his shoulders, 'I don't know Elizabeth. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm tired. I've lived my entire adult life surrounded by…a corona of death. Now, I'm at the point in my life, I'm really longing for it. I have nothing to life for.'

'You mustn't talk like that.' Lizzy said softly, feeling guilty. Her deceit was one of the underlying causes why Red was so depressed.

'Red—'Lizzy reached forward and placed her hand on his arm.

'For God sakes, Elizabeth stop trying so hard.' Red was breathing heavily, 'There's no—'Red stopped abruptly.

'What?' Lizzy asked breathlessly.

Red gritted his teeth as he tried to remember. Frowning, he lifted his hand, massaging his suddenly throbbing temple, '…Now, I remember…that bottle of Scotch was a gift but from whom?'

'Red, this could be something major. Maybe Dembé went after the person who gave you that bottle of Scotch!'

Lowering his head, Red seemed to be contemplating his choices but after what seemed an eternity, he finally looked up. 'If you don't mind, I'd like to shave and take a shower first.'

Trying to keep her excitement in check, Lizzy nodded but in the meanwhile, her heart jumped for joy in her chest.

Red rose from his chair and stretched, 'I'm a bit hungry. I haven't eaten since Friday.'

'Would you like me to make you a sandwich while you shower?' Lizzy hurried to say.

'Sounds good,' Red softly said, before turning on his heel.

Lizzy stared after him, surprised. Half an hour later, she heard the shower go on but suddenly, Red let out a holler. It abruptly ended with a loud crash.

Lizzy raced down the hallway, heart pounding in her chest. 'RED, are you okay?' she called through the door.

He groaned.

'Red, answer me. Are you okay?'

'Yes. No. I don't know.' Red groaned again, the sound easily carrying over the running water.

Lizzy twisted the doorknob. 'Can I come in?'

When Red grunted in answer, Lizzy took in a deep breath and swung the door open. Steam billowed to meet her. She took a hard swallow, and then started toward the shower. Reaching in behind the shower curtain, she managed to turn the water off, trying very hard not to notice Red's bare feet and long expanse of bare leg. She forced her eyes to stay below his knees. In the meantime, her heart pounded loudly. Heat filled her cheeks and that had absolutely nothing to do with the warm humidity of the bathroom.

'Can you get me a towel?' Red growled.

Lizzy grabbed a towel and hesitantly approached the shower again, 'Do you need help?'

'No…it was just a dizzy spell. It happened before…must be the after effects from the poison.'

Lizzy started to slide the shower curtain back but stopped when Red's bare waist came into view. Her heart galloped wildly, her pulse racing with it. Thick, blonde, curly hair covered his chest and beads of water collected at the base of his throat. Lizzy forced her eyes to Red's face and hoped she wasn't as red as she felt.

'Thanks.' He said while he held his hand out for the towel.

Lizzy averted her gaze and Red smiled. 'You have seen a naked man before?' His words sounded dry.

Lizzy cleared her throat, 'Er…ofcourse.'

Red suddenly swayed so Lizzy quickly grabbed his wet shoulder, feeling the strength of muscles and smooth hot skin. Red struggled to stay upright, holding the towel in place across his hips. Lizzy supported Red's weight the best she could without touching too much of his bare skin; an impossible task. She felt how a rush of feelings slammed through her, hard and fast. She grabbed Red harder, dragging him from the shower and praying that his towel would stay in place. Though it was a large towel, it hid very little of Red.

In the bedroom, she let go of him. 'Can you manage?'

Red smiled amusingly, 'I think I can. Thanks for your help Lizzy.'

She closed her eyes. He finally called her Lizzy again. She smiled and turned, 'I'll wait for you in the living room.'

'I'll be right out.'

Sitting down, the memory of Red's naked body sprang into Lizzy's mind. Closing her eyes, she softly moaned as she remembered Red's broad, naked chest. She squeezed her eyes tighter, willing the image to go away but she knew she would never be able to block him from her memories. The only question that played through her mind was; do I tell him about Agnes?

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