A/N: Well this was completely unplanned for. I know I should be writing BF:G and FF, but I COULDN'T RESIST! I've just been crying over Freylin, so I watched a bit of 2:9... and then I got mad at Arthur for getting uncomfortable about feelings, so he went back to being a prat. HONESTLY he could have gotten it out of Merlin if he'd tried a little harder. He really is quite smart, and he doesn't get enough credit for that. (Oblivious, yes. But still smart.)

So! Enjoy my first Merlin fic on Fanfiction!

Warnings: Spoilers for 2:9, so probably the episodes before it, too. And I use lines from other episodes in season two as well, but none are rather large spoilers.

Disclaimer: *mutters* I wish I owned Merlin... then it would have had a proper ending. But alas, I do not, and we're stuck with THAT cryball that makes me sob like there's no tomorrow. *sigh*

Camelot was a bustling city, full of all sorts of things imaginable. Even the ordinary serving girl was somehow extraordinary, whether through destiny, or the kindest of smiles. It had its failings, and it had its imperfections, but it also contained joy, and light. People were happy there.

But inside the magnificent castle, behind those impenetrable stone walls, someone was not. In the midst of the noonday sun, and the cheer of those around him, a young man was breaking.

The raven-haired boy continuously tried holding back tears as he scrubbed one of the many boots lined up beside him. So far, it was working. He didn't want to talk to anyone, he didn't want to see anyone. Because if he did, he was sure that he would crumble. And that was something he couldn't afford. He never could.

Back home, in Ealdor, it had just been he and his mother. He'd learned from a very young age that he had to be strong. He had to be able to look after himself. Because there weren't many who would be willing to do it. His hard childhood, as well as his lifelong secret, had taught him to suffer in silence. Those around him had their own burdens. They didn't deserve his too. He could take care of this alone.

But that armor was corroding. The boy didn't think he could carry on much longer. The few people he could depend on, he was losing. First it was Will, his best childhood friend. And now it was… Freya.

Her beautiful, brown eyes danced in his mind. The few small smiles he had received. Her far off gaze as she dreamed of a place for both of them. Where they would be free.

But it didn't matter anymore. She was gone, just like Will. The love of his life had disappeared forever. One by one, the people I love are being picked away. The boy paused in his scrubbing for a moment, looking at the boots with a far-off expression. Maybe it's better if I don't love anyone anymore. At least then they'll be safe.

As he turned back to his chores, the door opened. He glanced up, his expression vacant, and cold. It seemed as though that was all he could feel anymore.

His master, a blond prince, walked in casually. The boy wasn't sure what to feel towards him. A part of him wanted to despise him. He wanted to loathe him more than anything. But he just couldn't.

You're like two sides of the same coin, the boy remembered his mother saying. A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole, the Great Dragon had said to him, so long ago.

Maybe that's why I can't hate him. the boy grudgingly realized.

The crown prince Arthur tossed a piece of armor off to the side. "Ah, Merlin." he greeted. "I've been looking for you."

The boy, Merlin, quickly spoke up. "Yeah, right, you're gonna ask me to polish your armor, and to, uh, wash your clothes, and clean your room." He swallowed hard as he went back to the boot he had been scrubbing. Don't expect things to be any different, he told himself. You're nothing but a servant to him. He doesn't care. And he shouldn't. No one should.

He tried not to look as his prince sat beside him. He didn't look back as he felt his prince's gaze boring into him, as if trying to get a read on him, even though no one ever could.

"Something's been upsetting you, hasn't it?"

This time Merlin couldn't keep his gaze away, and his eyes flickered up for the smallest of moments. How did he know?

"Maybe." he settled with. He wanted to be honest. He'd always wanted that, more than anything. But he didn't know how. Not anymore.

Arthur seemed to ponder that for a moment, picking apart his words.

Honestly, he's perceptive at the worst of times.

"Was it when I threw water over you?"

Merlin cracked a sad smile. Of course he thinks of that. How could my problems be anything worse than our banter and his teasing? His face fell as he became resigned. He has enough problems. He doesn't need your own adding to his burden. "It wasn't very nice." he finally muttered.

Arthur nodded. "It was a bit unfair."

Merlin smiled and went back to the boot, his throat closing up as his soul rejected the lie. How could he keep lying to Arthur? How could he continue to trick and deceive his best friend?

But how could he not? It was all he'd ever done. It's all he knew how to do, as much as it hurt both of them, whether Arthur realized it or not.

"Like when you called me fat?"

Merlin looked up at his master, seeing Arthur's straight face, that somehow still managed to give away his teasing anger. Seeing the opening for banter, he kept his expression blank. "Why was that unfair?"

The blond head snapped to him. "Because I am not f—"

The prince broke off as he saw the manservant's teasing smirk, and he looked away in disbelief.

Merlin looked back to his boot, half wondering if he could finally be left alone. His banter with Arthur had cheered him, as it always did, but it wasn't enough. Not today. Maybe never again.

Suddenly, the prince lashed out and had his arm around his best friend's neck, knuckles against his head and grinning.

"Wha— Ow!" Merlin protested, dropping the brush for a moment in an attempt to free himself.

"Still think I need to get in shape?" Arthur asked, refusing to let up.

"No! Nonononono—"

The servant's protests silenced as the prince released him, grinning like the sun shining through the window.

Merlin rubbed his head, hoping to shift his hair into slightly less disarray. Remembering his friend's unusual actions, he turned to him, a question and a genuine grin on his face.

But instead of the princely face that was shown to everyone, he saw a soft smile, and brotherly warmth sparking in those ocean-blue eyes. "That's better." he said simply.

Merlin blinked, surprised. Arthur never cared. He wasn't… supposed to. His affection was shown in other, less obvious ways. The complete honesty, kindness, love, light in his eyes caused Merlin to keep his smile on his face, if only for a few moments longer.

"Thanks," he said, not sure what to make of it.

After Arthur's simple nod, Merlin moved to pick up the discarded brush. As happy as he was, it was moments like these that made him feel like he was being torn into pieces. He hated lying. But he didn't know how to stop. He was trapped in his own web of deceit. He didn't know what to do anymore. The only person who'd ever been able to understand was… was…

"You alright, though?" Arthur asked, his blue gaze penetrating again.

Merlin raised his eyebrows, shifting his position slightly as he nodded.

After a moment, Arthur pressed his lips together. "It's more than just the water, isn't it?"

Merlin glanced at his prince, hoping that his gaze wasn't giving anything away.

Arthur looked at the floor between his feet. "Alright. I know I'm a prince, so we can't be friends."

Hearing those words, the servant refrained from a wince, recognizing the truth. It hurt. Maybe that was why he kept lying.

And maybe also to keep his head. But that was just with Uther. It didn't apply to Arthur. Not anymore.

"But if I wasn't a prince."

Merlin looked up. "What?"

Arthur shrugged. "Well then… I think we'd probably get on."

He reluctantly met his master's eyes. "So?"

"So that means you can tell me what's really going on."

Merlin clenched the boot a little tighter. "That's true, but you see if you weren't a prince, I'd tell you to mind your own business." he said harshly.

The prince remained calm, unaffected by his friend's words or tone. "Merlin, when we met I was swinging a mace at you, yet still you managed to keep teasing and goading me on." he said. "Though pouring water on you may not have pleased you, I doubt it's enough to make you lock yourself in a room to do chores, and avoid anyone and everyone."

"I thought servants were supposed to be invisible." he muttered.

"Not even Gaius has seen you today. For someone who makes a point of sticking his nose into everything I do, you've been strangely scarce."

"So you admit that you've missed me?" Merlin grinned.

Arthur didn't even respond to the playful jab. "It pains me to admit it, but I do enjoy your surly retorts. In fact, it's probably your only redeemable feature. And with you not being there, at my side, as always," He studied his friend. "I missed it."

The two young men studied each other in silence for a period of time that felt like hours, but couldn't have been longer than a few moments.

"I've trusted you with everything, Merlin. It's time you did the same to me."

A knife pierced Merlin's heart, undoing his shields, his armor, his witty defenses. His magnificent web of lies began to be undone. It was slow, and would take time, but it was going away. He felt… free.

Merlin stopped in his scrubbing, and allowed his posture to drop, hunching over in sadness. "I— I…" he swallowed, testing the taste of honesty on his tongue. "I've just found out that… someone I care about has… died." Okay, not completely honest, but getting there.

Arthur glanced to him in surprise. "Is Hunith okay?"

"No, no, my mother's fine. Ealdor hasn't been attacked since you came."

"Then… who?"

Merlin closed his brilliant blue eyes, failing to block the tears that came rushing forth.

"Freya."

Arthur fell silent, seeming to recognize the reverence and tenderness with which her name was uttered.

"What happened?" the prince finally asked.

Merlin gulped. This… he could never say. If Arthur knew that he had killed someone Merlin loved… the prince may never forgive himself. Merlin couldn't do that to him. He wouldn't.

"She was… killed."

A flash of emotion filled the blue depths of Arthur's eyes. "Who did it? Who hurt her?"

The raven-haired servant glanced to his best friend, a silent plea filling his gaze. Recognizing it, the prince backed down, choosing a different question in its stead.

"Who was Freya?"

"She…" Merlin bowed his head. "She was… everything."

"You loved her."

He nodded.

Arthur shifted his weight. No doubt the topic of feelings was irking the prince. Merlin was surprised he'd even lasted this long.

"What was she like?"

A soft smile unwittingly spread across his lips. "Gentle. So gentle and kind. She wouldn't have ever hurt a fly if she didn't have to." He swallowed, remembering when she had spoke of her curse. When she had become doomed to kill forever.

"Why would she have to?"

Merlin bit his tongue.

"Merlin," Arthur's tone took on a slightly stern edge. "You can trust me."

Oh, how Merlin wanted to believe those words.

The servant looked away from his prince. "She was a Druid."

Arthur straightened surprise. No doubt his attention was now caught. Merlin sat there for a moment, waiting for the speech. The one about the evils of magic, and how no one who wielded it could ever be trusted. The one that only pushed Merlin further and further away from his friend.

But he said nothing. He simply sat, attentive, waiting for Merlin to continue.

The warlock blinked, and obeyed. "She was… accepting. I could tell her anything." He chuckled softly. "We talked about a place where we could go. Where no one knew us. Where w— she didn't have to hide anymore. Somewhere with mountains, a few fields, wildflowers, a couple of cows, strawberries…" He sniffed and wiped away a tear. "And a lake. She loved lakes."

"It sounds peaceful." Arthur said, his gaze far-off. It was almost as if he was thinking of his own sanctuary, where he could be himself with someone he loved.

"She had the most beautiful laugh." Merlin found himself continuing, remembering her smile and little chuckle when he had accidentally made a flower instead of a strawberry. "And she had a big heart."

Arthur nodded.

Merlin rested his chin on his knees. "But she was broken."

The prince looked at his friend in confusion. "How so?"

"She was a Druid." he said matter-of-factly. "She'd been persecuted her whole life, for one reason or another. She was scared of who she was, what she could do." He looked at the floor. "I— I told her that it could be something beautiful. That… that being different was nothing to be scared of."

Merlin went quiet, once again expecting the lecture on the danger and corruption of magic.

But it didn't come.

"I think you're right."

Merlin's head snapped up to face Arthur's, not sure if he'd heard him right. "What?"

A teasing glint appeared in the prince's eye, but he seemed to bite back the retort. For now. "I've spent a while thinking about it. I've never understood why a… tool — or maybe talent is a better word — was capable of corrupting anyone who used it."

Oh, there the speech was.

"But then I realized… that's all it is. A talent, a tool. Maybe it's just the wrong sorts of people that gravitate towards it."

Merlin withheld a frown at the last part. "What makes you say that?"

Arthur shrugged. "I've never seen magic used for good. Only evil. But… the magic itself didn't seem bad. Only the people did."

"Oh." Quite frankly, Merlin couldn't blame Arthur for that opinion. Since the Great Purge, the few magic users left had lost too much, and were too broken to keep their heads down and wait for the Once and Future King. Revenge was the only thing they had left, and so that was what they all turned to. Arthur had only ever been exposed to those vengeful sorcerers who wanted to hurt either him, or his father.

Merlin was surprised that Arthur had managed to even see it as a tool.

"So, you don't agree with your father?"

Arthur furrowed his brow. "I think he's right in a way. I think magic can corrupt. But so can all power. A true test of character is showing that a person can remain good with that power."

Merlin scuffed his boot against the floor. "What are you going to do about it?"

Arthur stood. "For now, nothing. I have yet to see that my theory is true. Though I think it is more likely, from what you told me about Freya. She sounded like a remarkable person." The prince met his friend's silently calculating gaze. "When I see that magic can be used for good, then maybe I will be able to find it in my heart to repeal the ban — once I am king. But for now," he shrugged. "I have no proof."

"Right." Merlin said, still trying to figure out what to make of the statement.

Arthur helped his friend to his feet. "I'm sorry about what happened to Freya."

"S'alright." Merlin mumbled, wiping the last few traces of tears away from his cheeks.

The prince placed a hand on the servant's shoulder. "The best thing you can do now is keep her memory with you. Become the person that you know she'd want to see you become. Honor her by being the man she fell for."

Merlin pressed his lips together, remembering.

Freya hadn't wanted them to run away together, at first. You have a good life here, she'd said.

But as those words ran through his head, so many others replaced the word "life." You have a good job here. You have a good mentor here. You have good friends here.

You have a destiny here.

His destiny was a part of his life. Freya wouldn't have wanted him to push that away.

Merlin glanced at Arthur, and remembered his oath. I'm happy to be your servant. 'Til the day I die.

Well, it looks like he was stuck protecting a prattish clotpole.

Besides, Merlin realized as the two young men fell back into their playful banter. Arthur needs to see that magic can be used for good. And it seems as though that job falls to me.

Various half-developed plans began running through his head. Maybe Gaius knows of a spell that I can use to change my appearance. A mischievous grin spread across his face. An old man would be an interesting disguise…

A/N: I hope you liked! I could continue this, and I could leave it. If enough of the readers want me to continue it, I will, but it won't be for a while. :( It's nice as a oneshot, in my opinion. But I know how us fangirls are sooo, leaving it open for negotiation.

I know that the line from 2:13 originally has the D-word in it, but I don't swear, so I cut it out. Sorry if that was a disappointment to any of you. :( Imagine it in there if you want it that badly! :) Or just watch Colin Morgan say it. *shakes head fondly* The guy's fantastic. So's Bradley James. And Katie McGrath. And I could go on for forever. *smiles sheepishly*

And that is all! Koala789 out! *flies away on Aithusa*