I OWN NOTHING

Considering how much I changed the tone and how out of nowhere it may have been for several of you, I can only try my best from here.

X-X-X-X-X

"Back in this stuffy outfit," Naruto sighed at the horrible prison uniform he had to put on once again. "Oh well, at least my cards remain right where I left them."

Calmly pulling out a deck of cards from under his mattress, he started to calmly pile them into a castle on his desk. Not the most entertaining of hobbies in the world, but it helped keep his sanity. Or whatever part of him had any left. Keeping his emotions in check due to being the embodiment of an entire being's negative side didn't help. At least little things like his job contained the wilder side. Also, he was surrounded by beauties. He'd be a fool if he didn't say that helped him remain collected.

Although, there was another help, "…lies, lies, lies…" mumbled his former boss on the other cell, rocking back and forth and chewing on a thumb.

Needless to say, his misery brightened the blond man's mood, "Do you need me to show you the evidence Zeref is alive again?" he casually asked after noticing no guard was around. Leaning close to his card castle he smirked and continued, "Sightings followed by death, life being practically stolen with a single breath. No other way, it is him."

"Lies…lies…lies…" the tattooed man kept rocking, but slower, miserably biting into his flesh.

"I wish you'd share the location of such sightings," said a new voice, not paying any mind to the mind-broken blue-haired man.

Naruto gave her a one-eyed glance, a lazy grin, and his trademark humor, "Hm? Are you with the lovely lady I met the other day when you were scouting me? Must say, you two could've come together to get me. I'd have put little to no resistance." He finished the base of his castle of cards and moved to the next floor.

"Refrain yourself from attempting to charm me," she said and revealed herself.

"So, that's what you look without the makeup and out of the council's seats…" he quipped, then closed both eyes and widened his smile, "Lovely outfit, miss…"

"Kyouka," said the woman.

Standing before him on talons instead of feet was long-haired beauty whose wild green mane was kept in place with a helmet resembling a bird's beak with a large blue crystal on the forehead. Most saddening was the mask of the helmet on her pretty face hiding her features. Although he still paid attention to the pointy ears, wing-like tufts of hair standing at the sides of her head, and the sharp glare. She wore a leotard which left little to the imagination and showed all her proportions had a superior volume over Erza and Lucy.

"A pleasure, so… down to business," he stared at her and sat facing her, yet didn't stop piling up cards. "I'd offer you a seat, but I assume you would shoot down the joke."

"Please, do not try my patience after I let you out," she said patiently. "You saw through us, which is commendable. But this goal of yours does intrigue me."

"Becoming a full being? Come on, it's not that hard since you're a demon, Kyouka-san," he chortled with his eyes still closed. "Having a way to control yourself is quite liberating, right? Which is why I assume you'd be delighted to know about Zeref. I did hear he made demons but didn't think he was such a fine craftsman…" he snickered softly and opened one eye to stare at her, "Sorry, couldn't resist a compliment there."

Lifting a clawed hand which possessed similar features to her feet, she flicked the air and sliced his cheek, "Take that as my final warning on your attitude. If I wanted to, I could've killed you since the beginning of our little conversation three times."

Unblinking, Naruto stood up and ignored the blood dripping down his face, "Glad you admit that, I was a tad scared." He aimed a finger behind her, "I could've killed you fifteen times."

Kyouka choked on her own breath when another figure stood behind her, placed a hand on her shoulder, and spoke next to her ear, "What illusion is this!?" she growled and turned from the Naruto inside the cell to the one that stood right beside her. 'Is this another trick of his? For me to not sense him, this must be a mirage.'

"Listen, you were a love when we had our little chat before the council," the clone started with a sigh. "Can you go back to that fun and likeable Kyouka? Or do you really want me under your thumb that much?" A chill ran up and down her spine when he snickered melodiously, "If it's the latter, I'll warn you to not be quite so greedy when you're this beautiful. It'd ruin any chance for a happy... longer life."

'His words, the way he carries himself... I... I think I shall thoroughly enjoy this partnership,' Kyouka thought as she resisted the urge to smile. A cloud of smoke later, and Kyouka couldn't help but grin at the caged man, "I see, your antics are a façade, a mere act. Very well, then, I shall not underestimate or insult your intelligence. However, I do request a being of your caliber does the same for those who can lend him a hand."

"Ah, now we have a fine agreement built on fear and respect, not too much to ask, is it?" he retorted, amused by her reaction but also keeping his guard up despite his seemingly nonchalant attitude. "Although, do you even understand what it's like to be fully human? I was part of one, so being complete is an agonizing desire of mine. Not just go back to my former self but be true to myself."

"Demons do not possess such silly concepts, but we do understand a search for a purpose and the need to own an existence," Kyouka told him calmly.

"Even if you're made to serve this Zeref, right?" the blond inspector asked, then coyly smiled. "Please, don't deny it. Why else would I have found people looking for him and suddenly have demons interested in my tracking abilities? Although I do wish a lady like yourself came here because of my charm for a spot of tea."

Kyouka was tempted to flirt back, but decided to keep letting him do the smooth-talking, "Do save your quips for later, for our purpose is to find Master Zeref, yes. However, we have devised ways to carry out experiments making human bodies something... more, shall we say. Our understanding of the human body and a little research could prove vital for your goals."

"Still, now I have my doubts on why you looked for me," he started as he finished another floor. "If you tell me it's Fairy Tail and some secret of theirs, color me ultimately unsurprised."

"Unfortunately, you do know why we'd be interested in them," she admitted with a sigh. "After all, what other guild sits on such a source of magic? Let alone one connected to Master Zeref."

Finishing his small card building, the blond turned to her and quirked an eyebrow with both eyes closed, "Let me get this straight, a death wizard's connected to the most happy-go-lucky guild of all time and you want me to further look into them for any link to him regardless of how ridiculous it may be?" He slowly popped open an eyelid, "Well, I do know of a secret of theirs, but I am not allowed in. However, if I had the authority from a beautiful, charming and competent lady as yourself in the council..."

"I shall look upon it posthaste," she declared with a sultry smirk. "My assistant Seilah is your companion for this endeavor. Do treat her kindly and I shall reward you most handsomely."

"Can I get a kiss, then?" he smiled warmly, giving her a lopsided, playful grin.

"Let us look forward to a healthy partnership and we shall see, then," she smiled back and bowed as she vanished.

"So, it's a date," he clasped his hands and rubbed them, looking to the side. "Seilah-chan, right? Could you do me a solid and fetch me some files of mine?"

A shadow slithered to him, cold dead eyes looking straight into his own amused ones, "How did you know I was there?"

"You're not trying hard enough to hide yourself from me, you'd need to be dead first," he didn't boast, but his calm smile made her feel like he did.

"I shall return at once; however, is there anything else you need?" she asked professionally with narrowed eyes.

"Books, surprise me if you have anything you consider worth passing time with," he said and sighed upon laying eyes on the novels he had read and memorized in his stay.

Feeling at ease seeing he had a good collection of books worth reading, she slightly puffed up her chest and nodded, "Hm, do not worry. I see you are a man of taste in looking for stories with bitter endings and heroes struggling to grasp an elusive goal. I have the perfect recommendation for one such as you."

"You are a darling, thank you," he beamed and sat to wait.

"...lies, lies, lies..."

"You know, now I'm wishing I had at least ripped off your tongue when I had a chance," Naruto absentmindedly commented as he pocketed his deck of cards.

X-X-X-X-X

Natsu felt his eye twitch at what he saw in the council's prison, "What the Hell...?"

"Sorry for the mess, I'd offer you a seat but I'm not allowed out of this cell," Naruto greeted him, Gray, Lucy and Erza with a wave in a fancier cell. He sat leisurely at a fine mahogany desk on a rather expensive and incredibly comfy chair which could double as a throne. Bookshelves with his old and new covered the walls, and a proper bathroom had been installed. Sadly, for him, he wasn't allowed to wear his suit.

"We heard you were being moved, we didn't expect them to pamper you," Lucy said in equal disbelief to Natsu's.

"For all intents and purposes, the council needs me and have also the public obligation to keep me locked unless it's necessary to greet me," Naruto leaned back and opened a book calmly. "Anyway, I am glad you came to see me yet again. Frankly, I expected two of you to get tired of my face after that battle for your guild."

"Don't play dumb," Gray growled.

"What did you learn?" Natsu added.

Giving the two hotheads a one-eyed glance over his book, the blond sighed, "Apparently, the council's eyes aren't the only ones for me to worry about. They still force me to not take long bathroom breaks. Now, a couple of people seem to be after me because of the whole Jellal/Siegrain business."

"Wait, how can we trust you when you're locked up?" Gray asked with narrowed eyes. "For all we know, you've been here fabricating a lie."

Naruto calmly walked to the cell door... and pushed it open, "Did I mention this is a trick played by the council?" after his rhetorical question went unanswered by the surprised mages, he continued. "Now then, I'd lie if I said I don't deserve some hatred. New or not, the council members see me as a threat and asset, so I better make myself useful... I'm digressing, sorry."

"Naruto-san, does this have to do with Aries...?" Lucy asked calmly. "She's the one who told me to come here because she felt something was after you."

"Always the kind soul, isn't she?" he hummed merrily before composing himself. "I'm afraid my little trick to get her earned me a certain group's disapproval. Call this a personal project of mine, but I've been after them for a while to reclaim Aries' lost friends. Unluckily, you know I hide what I'm truly capable of, so I had to run off before things got serious."

"Bastard!" Gray snapped. "You left Aries' friends behind to save your hide! You're a coward!"

Naruto could tell even Lucy and Erza disapproved of his actions, but he remained calm, "True. I could've wiped the floor with them, leave a bloody smear or just erase them from existence and trick the people of the council about it. However, I wasn't the one who was targeting Karen, I didn't have a contingency plan if they could escape, and-"

"Stop talking," Gray reached inside the cell and grabbed him by the lapels of his prison shirt, glaring daggers into him. "You did it all for yourself..."

"Another reason I won't ask for your forgiveness or that of any member of your guild," Naruto didn't lose his composure and gave him a soft smile. "Let's get to the matter at hand if you're done listening to that... Or would you rather lose all chances of reclaiming those keys?"

"What?" Lucy asked in surprise. "So, you didn't just leave those spirits to their luck?"

"If you're pulling this outta your ass, I'm kicking it!" Natsu growled at him.

"Again, it's a side-project of mine, but consider it either a mission or a request," he said softly. "Angel's the name of the lady who had Karen killed and she's got the Scorpio and Gemini keys. Now, to make things a lot worse, she's not alone. Oración Seis, does the name ring any bells? Long story short, think about the Lullaby flute deal but try to make their goals a tad bigger."

"Very well, we shall look into it," Erza said, her eyes stern. "Is there anything else you'd like to share?"

"Tea with Aries-chan," he confessed and lifted a steaming cup from his desk.

"Goodbye," Erza said firmly as she left, closing her eyes.

The rest followed, but Natsu had a few words left, "I know you're playing us like fiddles, so I'm only doing this to help Aries' friends."

Chuckling once he left, Naruto shut both eyes before replying, "Just like me before what made me... whatever I am nowadays."

Off to the side, Seilah appeared in her lovely kimono with some more files he asked for, "Did you warn them as intended?"

"You didn't give me time to prepare, but you saw it," he retorted.

"After seeing how you fool them, I am not lowering my guard," the horned woman warned him.

"Lovely, I'd hate to lose the challenge of seeing if I can crack a smile on that pretty face of yours," he quipped with a warm grin. Upon getting her narrow-eyed stare, he sighed in amusement, "Back to business. So, stop me if you've heard this one, but legal guilds can work together. And considering the blow to their morale and numbers, Fairy Tail could use some help from these... interesting individuals."

Observing the pictures he held up for her, Seilah nodded, "Preparations will be made at once. Nirvana will be an interesting addition to our research."

"Oh, was that a smile of satisfaction I saw on you? It was quite cute!" he snickered, earning yet another glare before the demon woman left.

Although, he did catch a glimpse of a blush on her pale cheeks.

X-X-X-X-X

St. Lady's was a café-themed branch of St. Gentleman's – Naruto's favorite bakery. Unlike the main branch, it focused on exquisite blends of coffee perfectly grounded, rare tea using the right moment when leaves would be at their most flavorful, and a good selection of treats. Of course, the pastries and sandwiches from the bakery were still a big hit there. Lucy was immediately enamored with the place.

"What now?" the spirit mage asked Erza as the two enjoyed a cup of tea. "Do you think he's tricking us again?"

Erza sighed, "The only reason he didn't come rescue us himself was him setting things up in our favor. Of course, Gray does have a point to remain angry at him."

"And yet you also trust him after all he's done for us," Lucy stated somewhat sadly. "He's two-faced but helped us in small and big ways even if it'd get him in trouble."

"A man like him is dangerous, but whatever morals he has are a common ground for us..." Erza sipped her tea slowly to clear her mind. "I'd be willing to trust him."

"Same..." Lucy admitted with a blush, holding up her own cup of tea to her face with both hands like an embarrassed kid.

"Aren't you two precious?" cooed a mature woman with long green hair, long black gloves, and thigh-high black boots. She wore an arousing form-fitting black dress and black lipstick which made her smile a sultry one, "Talking about a young man you both love... It's endearing to see such adorable ladies be this trustful of each other."

"What?" both girls blushed, looking at each other and then at the woman who blew on her steaming coffee cup.

"Please, don't deny it, I'm an experienced lady," she took a sip of her mug without leaving any smear, smiling softly. "Both of you are truly beautiful. Young, but not that naïve. Pure-hearted and yet not so innocent to let a dark-hearted man trample you. If anything, this man you speak of must care for you if he's this intent to be close to you."

"Please, h-he's more of an odd associate," Erza blushed harder.

Kyouka – for that was her in disguise – widened her smile, "And yet despite having such an amazing body yourselves, he doesn't sound like the kind to take advantage of you." Placing her gloved hand on her chin, she resisted the urge to cup Erza's face. "If anything, I'm willing to bet he's more than fond of you two." Looking at Lucy, she wondered what it'd be like to see her face twist in perfectly mixed pain and pleasure. A demon like her had a fondness for her own sex, and the two before her were succulent, 'I must commend that inspector for his taste in ladies. They shall make a great leverage on him, plus, I could have some fun.'

Erza noticed, or at the very least picked up on the fact that Kyouka was someone dangerous. A bit of her desire had leaked out in a second-long flash of psychotic intent. Erza had been alerted much to the demon in disguise's private irritation. Demons were prey to the sins that afflicted mankind at a far greater level.

'Careful, not too soon or the entire game goes up in smoke.' She chided herself, trying to control her desires was difficult, "I apologize for my, how do you say, forward words… please, calm yourself. I mean you no harm." She said soothingly, trying to calm down Erza who smoothly moved her hand away from her sword, her face set back in its previous frown.

Her blush faded away like it was never there, "Then what are you trying to say...?"

Smiling thinly, Kyouka continued smoothly, "I was simply speaking as woman to woman, you seem like you may actually care for this man. Was I wrong?"

Erza breathed out a sigh in response, "No, you're not. As much as I hate to admit it, he is... was a friend of our guild. Everyone liked him and thought he was a fine man. Lucy, me, our friends, even the Master, everyone thought he was harmless but great none the less. We all admired how much he struggled at times, doing so much paperwork but only complaining when it got to the point of being impossible. In his own way, we thought he was strong." Erza explained, giving a brief summary of the complex emotions that raged within her heart at the moment.

Kyouka's smile only grew another few inches, "Delicious… You're just too delicious…" She whispered, her expression torn between maddening delight and her own controlled response to the conversation.

"Excuse me? Ma'am? Are you alright?" Lucy asked her.

Kyouka looked at the table to avoid revealing her absurdly huge smile, then looked back up and gave them a slightly less wide smile. Nodding, she took a sip of coffee, "Yes, I'm alright. I just-" she had to let it out, even in her mind, '-want to ravage you both and make that man watch!' Her thoughts went wild with desire and she had to force her smile not to widen, "...want to say you two are lucky to know such a good man. Well, maybe not good, but if you care about him, maybe you should try to be understanding of what he wanted to do by letting himself be used as the scapegoat."

She knew that with that last line, she had Erza hooked like a fish, Lucy was the one who surprisingly looked unsure, "I-I don't follow. Naruto lied to Aries, right, Erza?"

Being the more innocent one as well as a new mage meant that she didn't know the history between the guild members before her and Naruto. She only had her impressions of him and her own personal thoughts as references. Erza no doubt had known him for much longer, and it was that particular bet that Kyouka was hinging on. She wanted to bring a little chaos out to play. Toying with these two might prove to bring such amusement forward.

"Are you saying he sacrificed himself?" Erza was brash and to the point, which delighted Kyouka even further, her sadistic desire growing without a limit in sight, "How could you possibly know all of this?"

'Let the rat come out itself, no use in springing the trap too early~' the demon took a sip of her coffee, mulling over the best way to answer the question without giving too much away. "Both of you make it obvious considering you're willing to forgive him." Both girls couldn't deny it, which made Kyouka much giddier, "It sounds to me that you want to dismiss doubts from others, not yours."

And she nailed it as Lucy confessed, "I've been... mostly trying to get Leo to not be as hostile to him, even Aries is doing the same. Casting aside their doubts we just... clung to them."

"Upon debating others you shouldn't let their ideas sink and wrap yours," Kyouka warned them with a grin. "After all, your fondness for this man is not without merits."

Erza was slightly afraid and, mostly, embarrassed that another woman read her so well, "How could you see through us so easily?"

"My dear, I've had my experiences with women," Kyouka nonchalantly confessed – she and Seilah had spent many nights together due to not finding a worthy man. "Looking for the right man is not easy, although it doesn't mean yours truly hasn't searched. As a matter of fact, if you're not careful I may as well snatch this heartbreaker of yours."

"Don't you dare!" Erza and Lucy instinctively snapped.

Giggling, Kyouka stood up to leave, "See? Once you cast aside the questions others put in you, you can see what you want. Had those ideas stuck despite my little blunder you would have proven me wrong. It is an utter delight to have met you. I can't wait to see you again."

"Wait, who are you?" Erza asked as her face turned nearly as red as her hair, and Lucy wasn't doing any better.

"Kyouka... and if you're interested, we could meet up for some lessons in how to enjoy an evening," with a sultry smile and husky tone, the demon woman left.

She had a LOT of ideas to share with Seilah.

X-X-X-X-X

"Minerva-chan, is Juvia-san keeping you company?" Naruto asked the tiny girl from the other side of his cell, calmly reading while his secretary/maid sat with the little cutie on her lap. She tried to look the most an already extravagant woman like her could the part of a mother, "Also, I thought you wouldn't want to see me like this?"

"Juvia just heard you've been going out," the blue-haired mage said somberly. "Is it true you've been working without her knowing and leaving this cell?"

'Oh rats, what did I do?' he briefly panicked, his smile shaking slightly. 'Crud, now we really look like a married couple.'

Minerva sold the whole picture, "Why don't you visit us, then?"

Sighing, he ruffled his hair, missing his hat even more, "Listen, the council wants me to work for them and there are some details I can't really discuss with you. How did you even know I was allowed out?" he was worried what the answer could be, he had an inkling on what it would be based on Juvia's proud look.

"Juvia's been stalking some council members to get dirt to bust you out, Naruto-san," she answered while patting the bun-haired girl's head.

'I knew there's a reason I both keep her close and at arm's length,' he mentally kicked himself for not considering that. "Well, what have you gotten so far? Because I've had a little project delivered to Fairy Tail for a large mess they need to prevent…"

Minerva was disappointed, basically on the verge of tears, "Wait, why didn't you request my guild!? I can fight, too!"

'If this is what it's like being a father, I can see why it's both heaven and hell…' sighing deeply, he rubbed his temples with the thumb and index finger of a hand he also used to rub his face. "Minerva-chan, there is no way I'm risking your life in such a dangerous mission. Granted, I know Juvia can protect you, but even then you're not on the same level as some mages of Oración Seis."

"Then Oración Seis are Juvia's enemies!" his assistant snapped.

Kicking his mental rear again, Naruto breathed deeply to control himself, 'I've been caged for so long I'm losing my touch in coercing others to do as I want them to. Either that or the real Naruto Uzumaki is kicking inside me.' After his mental groaning, he turned to the two girls he cared for and decided to be frank, "If I manipulate either of you to do anything that could get you killed or for my own personal gain, I will be sick. Sick that I am the kind of man I despise the most, a man who made me… whatever it is you're seeing."

"Uzumaki-san…" Minerva breathed out in shock.

Smiling softly, he closed both eyes, giving her his foxy grin, "Thus, I ask you to sit this one out. If anything, I may be called to join this mission given how much I know about it. However, I don't want you two to get in harm's way. I'd be no different than-"

"You're not like him!" Juvia snapped, "You are the kindest man Juvia's ever met, you have made her feel happy and accepted her rain! You didn't even know who she was and yet… You… you made her feel at ease and even helped this lovely child to be free from her cruel father! If you demand anything of us, we'll do it because we… we love you, Naruto-san!"

"Even if I asked you to die?" he asked solemnly. "Because that man, Madara Uchiha, was fond of-"

"No…" Juvia said. "Juvia would never kill herself for you. Naruto-san, you gave Juvia a wonderful life with sunlight. If Juvia were to kill herself, it'd be like erasing the one good thing you gave her."

"And I'll get stronger to be like you!" Minerva said, sniffling. "To not let others trample over little ones like my father did me! I want to live following the good example you set, regardless of what kind of man you're telling me you are! Good or bad, I want to do the right thing you showed me!"

"Wow, heh…" Naruto couldn't control his surprise, getting him to lose some control over his emotions, "Ahahaha…"

"Naruto…san…?" Juvia asked, surprised as he started to snicker, then chuckle, and finally laugh.

"What's that thing!?" Minerva asked when a dark red energy oozed out of Naruto, coming out in a dangerous, deadly fog.

All the while, the blond kept laughing, unable to control himself as the crimson energy engulfed him, "Ahahahaha… Hehehehehehe!" he doubled over, then, just as quickly… He punched himself in the stomach! "Ow…!" Just as quickly, the odd fog of corrupted chakra seeped back into him as he wheezed, "Well… don't… tell anyone about that, please."

"Is that… what you mean by not being a complete being?" Juvia asked as shocked as the little girl in her lap.

Grunting, he rubbed his stomach, "I've become quite good at keeping so many negative and good emotions in check. Keeping my cool is not easy… Especially when whatever sense of self I have is flimsy at best… I must say, I envy people who are fully human. Letting such overwhelming joy take control over me can make that emotion be the new me."

"But you always look so… happy and carefree…" Minerva said sadly.

Grinning, he endured the pain and decided to come clean at least with one thing, "Looking like it doesn't mean I am, just like how you pretended to be okay. Big difference, I've got years of practice."

"So, you can't really let yourself feel anything…?" Juvia looked beyond distraught at the idea of Naruto unable to proclaim his love to her.

"What're you saying?" he asked with his soft smile. "If anything, I wouldn't have laughed that much if I hadn't felt so much… happiness at your declarations. I felt so much mirth and cheer it had to come out even if it was in a silly laugh. Juvia-chan, congratulations, you're the first person to ever make me feel truly happy."

And such a simple declaration nearly melted her heart, but… "Then…" Minerva started, "Is that why you want to be a complete being?"

"Of course, I never explained it in full detail once I came clean for a reason," he said, recalling how he was halfway honest with Fairy Tail and his assistant about his real goals. "Hating myself could be a lot worse. It is the reason I want to keep you girls out of some of my business."

"Juvia will help you even further, then!" his assistant declared, 'And then, Juvia and Naruto-san can finally consummate their love!'

"I will, too!" Minerva cheered. "I can have Saber Tooth look for ways to help you without saying too much!"

He chortled, then sighed, "Thanks… I mean it. Please, don't overload me all of a sudden with another surprise like last one. Let's save any surprise party once I can be myself."

"Sure!" the two cheered.

Naruto inwardly sighed, it seemed things were going his way, and yet he knew there would be a lot more trouble after such a revelation. Looking behind the two visitors, he could see Seilah stare at him with a tiny smirk, just the ghost of a smile tugging the corners of her mouth. Smiling back at her, he nodded. Although, to the naked eye, there was more to it than that. A simple message to the demon woman and one which she fully accepted without backing down.

Should she, Kyouka and whatever organization they were part of threaten the two, he'd show them a far nastier side of his incomplete self.

And that was something even the cool and collected Seilah felt uneasy about…

'We have leverage against him, and yet… why do I feel like we could be on the losing side when using it?'

X-X-X-X-X

"Back to my old self, lovely," Naruto halfway joked as he walked out of the prison in his full suit, adjusting his sleeves. "Huh, seems I've grown a bit… I may need this retailored." Placing his hat on his head, he felt a lot better, "Oh well, at least my head's not too big… No? Not even a chuckle?"

A guard who had been tasked to deliver his clothes glared in disgust, "If the first three-thousand four hundred and seventy-three jokes didn't work, what makes you think this one will?"

"It was either getting you to chuckle or watch paint slowly peel off," Naruto retorted before looking to the incoming party. "Ah, team… Hmm, what to call you?"

"We're Team Natsu!" said the pink-haired mage flanked by Gray, Happy, Lucy and Erza.

"Bit narcissistic, isn't it?" Naruto commented. "I shall call you Team Troublemaker…"

"What the heck!?" the fire-using member of the newly dubbed Team Troublemaker yelped.

"You and Gray have been the bane of my weekends on more than one occasion…" he told them calmly. "If anyone deserves to name you it's the guy who's cleaned up your messes the last couple of years."

"We're not friends, so we don't have to take anything you say as official," Gray reminded him. "We only need your help."

"What is really bringing this anger out in the open?" Naruto asked with half a smile. "If you're going to be this upfront about how much I upset you, fine. I get it, but you don't need to remind me of it every step of the way when we've got a dark guild on our hands. Plus, let's not forget someone's pulling strings involving all of us. If anything, trust a sinner when he's in the same spot as you and has nothing to lose."

Natsu cracked his knuckles, "I don't get this conspiracy stuff, but I know you've pretended to be good. Once we're done, you can go back and see if you feel any remorse for lying to Aries and rot in that cage."

"Ah, I see, so it's because of her," Naruto sighed. "I can't blame you."

"Neither does Aries…" Lucy said stepping forward, holding up the ram key.

"Oh…" Naruto said in barely contained surprise upon seeing the sheep girl… and getting embraced in a tight hug.

"Erza and I decided to tell her and see what she said…" Lucy started with the same level of confusion as everyone else. "After coming up with our doubts, she told us to let her see you, but…"

"We didn't expect this…" Erza admitted with a quirked eyebrow and slight jealousy. "She said she didn't blame you, though."

"All the effort you put into caring for me wasn't a lie," Aries mumbled with her face buried in Naruto's shirt. "I've known it from the start. How odd you were… Everything you've done, even when you deceived me, never harmed me. And you even accept that we could hate you… I can't hate you, though. You… should know that."

"Again…" he chortled awkwardly, putting a hand on his hat to keep himself composed, "I am not a paragon of goodness. Prepare yourself to be disappointed."

"If you wanted to disappoint me, you'd have acted like the men Karen left me with," she retorted, puffing her cheeks quite adorably.

"You do know I was most likely using you to get information on the world of spirits, right?"

"Again…" she copied him, "I could tell you were odd… It's partly why Leo suspected you after reconnecting to the spirit world."

Gray was flabbergasted, "You… wanted to help him from the start? Even after all he pulled on you?"

"Naruto-san, do you remember what you told me when we met?" Aries asked to get the answer for Gray's question.

"That I was curious about you spirits and that you could keep anything you're not comfortable with to yourself, right?" he asked.

"You also asked me what kind of mage I'd like to be with," she answered looking him in the eye. "After that, you started looking for candidates, even spending countless extra hours to find a good one. Interviewing them, too. At times, I'd be summoned by you to see you sleep-deprived and ready to make me coffee."

"Don't be so cute, you'd get me to fall for you easily," he quipped, chortling and earning a blush from Aries as well as a pang of jealousy from the other two girls.

"Hey, don't get so cocky!" Gray snapped, feeling his forehead veins bulge.

"Sorry, couldn't resist, we were being too serious…" he snickered, but finally placed his hand on Aries' head, beaming. "Thank you for being so kind. I'll try to make it up to you. So… um… could you let me go? A hug is fine and all, but I'm not used to this kind of stuff."

"Just a bit more…" Aries mumbled, taking in his scent a bit.

Natsu felt his right eyelid twitch, but tried to get back on track, "Alright, so… we can be somewhat at ease even if you're a shady snob…"

"You still don't know what that word means, do you?" Naruto asked.

"Let us go, we've at least set we can work with and trust you," Erza said, though she felt actually happy at the idea.

After all, as malicious as he was, he was someone she and the others liked relying on, which was why so many were upset by his revelations.

Fortunately for them, he was still Naruto Uzumaki… or as much as he could be.

X-X-X-X-X

And that's my rap!

I'm actually disappointed Kyouka doesn't get enough love considering she's such a hot babe. Perhaps it's the whole thing with her attempting to turn Erza into her little sex slave. Let's be honest, if you've read the manga, that's what was in the author's mind when showing the cell scene. Perhaps it's just me, but I have an odd love for villainous women like her. Just a woman so insanely sensual and unapologetically evil only the concept of making people squirm can bring her joy. Call it my inner masochist or me relating to her with my inner sadist.

My own ramblings aside, don't deny that it's obvious how much she wanted to turn Erza into her pet.

Swordslinger out!