Chapter 21: When I'm Cold As A Stone, Grow Me A Rose Garden

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. It belongs to Hideaki Anno, Gainax, and Tatsunoko Productions. I only own the characters I made up.

Slowly opening my eyes, I expect to see a certain redhead lying next to me on my mattress. Instead, what greets me is an empty spot where Asuka would be, followed by some light leaking from my room's slightly ajar door. I continue staring at that spot as if in a trance, attempting to knock out the cobwebs clinging to my mind.

Did last night happen?

That was the first clear thought I had upon becoming fully awake. Did Asuka and I talk last night? Did she. . .confess that she liked me? Or was it all a dream?

Honestly, I wouldn't doubt that last night was a dream. I mean, it's difficult to believe that Asuka would just confess something like that out of the blue. It's even more difficult to believe that she would even have feelings for someone like me.

Yet. . .I can't just simply write off what happened last night. It doesn't seem right. . .even if it's unbelievable.

The smell of food tickling my nose causes my stomach to grumble, getting me to chuckle.

Okay, first breakfast, then deep thought. Just hope Misato isn't cooking anything.

Slowly rising from my mattress, I get to my feet, only to nearly fall before regaining my balance. Looks like the muscles in my legs are still slightly weak. To fully wake my body up, I do a series of stretches and simple exercises for the next minute. That's when the scarred patches of skin on my arms catches my attention. Slowly, I touch the scar tissue, getting a feel for its texture.

Yeah. . .still feel like leather.

Frowning slightly before shaking my head, I exit my room, wearing nothing but a grey t-shirt and shorts. Upon entering the living room, I spot Asuka in the kitchen, cooking something (most likely eggs) on the kitchen's stove. She's wearing the clothes she usually sports in the morning, a yellow t-shirt loosely clinging to her body and blue shorts. Despite it being the morning, her hair is perfectly neat, as if she had just combed it. Also. . .she looks good with her hair down. It's not like it's the first time I've seen her with her hair down, but. . .

. . .

I'm staring aren't I.

I avert my eyes before realizing how ridiculous I'm being. I doubt she notices I'm here.

I take a moment to think about how to approach the redhead, before shrugging and deciding to wing it.

"Morning Asuka," I greeted while walking into the kitchen. The redhead glances at me, her lips slowly forming a smile.

"Good morning to you too," the girl replies casually.

From where I'm standing, I can see the thing she's cooking is indeed eggs.

I smirk. "Looks like you didn't burn them this time. You're learning."

The girl rolls her eyes at my sarcastic tone. "Sit down and shut up. Breakfast is almost ready."

That statement causes me to raise an eyebrow, before I go back to being an ass. "Aww, you made this for me? How sweet of you. . .it isn't poisoned is it?"

A short laugh escapes her lips. "God you're such a jerk." She shakes her head. "Just sit down already."

Silently nodding, I sit at the dinner table and patiently wait for the meal Asuka's apparently making for me.

. . .

Yeah, that even sounded weird in my head.

About a minute later, I see Asuka holding two plates, both had eggs and toast on them, nothing too fancy. Then again, I wasn't expecting Asuka to make anything elaborate, especially after what happened last time she tried that.

Setting one of the plates in front of me, as well as some silverware, I began digging in. As Asuka sat down and digged into her own meal, I jokingly pointed out she forgot to serve me drinks. Her response was to glare at me and to warn that I was pushing it.

The next minute is silent due to both of us eating our respective meal. The silence allows me to ponder if I should bring up what happened last night or not. Would now be the best time to bring it up, or would it be too awkward.

. . .

Asuka once told me I over complicate things. . .perhaps she had a point.

"So, what's your answer," Asuka asks out of the blue, catching me off guard.

"Huh?"

The girl rolls her eyes the second time today as she elaborates. "Last night, I asked you how you felt about me. You couldn't give a proper answer at the time, so we agreed to talk about it in the morning." She leans forward, a serious expression painting her face. "Well, it's morning, so what is your answer?"

Well. . .at least she confirmed that last night actually happened.

Breathing out slowly then closing my eyes for a moment, I go over my relationship with Asuka in detail. I've fought with her. . . a lot. It's been like that since day one of meeting her. Seriously, the first thing I did upon meeting the redhead was insult her, and it went downhill from there. Sure, there were times when we would get along, or would even connect on an emotional level, especially recently. But. . .things always go back to us fighting.

That. . .can't be healthy.

I've. . .never hated Asuka. I fully realize that now. But her personality always rubbed me the wrong way, and rarely did that ever lead to me calmly discussing how I felt with her. I'm not exactly the best person to be around. I overreact a lot. I'm hot-tempered, selfish, and overall a terrible person. That's not to say Asuka's some sort of angel, and that she's the victim in all this. No, far from it. But, I can see how hard it was for her to get along with me when all I did since day one was antagonize her. I immediately put her in the category as "the antagonist", only changing my views when I was either forced to or was made to feel bad.

I've been terrible to her. Makes me honestly wonder what Asuka sees in me.

. . .

Still. . .even though I can't change the past, it doesn't mean I can't be better here and now. I mean, look at Asuka. In the past, she wouldn't dare open herself up to someone. . .not even to Kaji. She was combative and willing to fight anyone who dared to challenge her status as "The Greatest Eva Pilot". She's still abrasive and full of herself. . .but she isn't combative. She actually dared helped me when I decided shut everyone else out. And, she opened herself up to someone she should honestly hate.

If she's willing to change for the better, there's no reason to think I can't do the same. Even though I keep repeating the same mistakes, I have to keep trying to be better. I mean, I have to if I want to. . .be with her. That. . .that's a weird thought. I want to change not only just to better myself, but for her as well.

Strange.

I guess she must mean something to me. I wouldn't go as far to say that I "love" her, whatever "love" means in this context, but. . .

"I think," I finally speak, swallowing down the apprehension building in my throat. "That. . .that I like you too."

There was a long pause, before Asuka let out a breath she apparently was holding. She giggles slightly before stopping herself. She then reveals a smug grin.

"O-Of course I already knew that," claims the redhead. "I was just waiting for you to finally admit it. After all, who wouldn't be entranced by me?"

I deadpan. "I don't remember using the word 'entranced'."

"Pleease," she says unconvinced. "We both know you can't keep your eyes off me."

I scoff. "Yeah, sure."

She apparently took that as a challenge, for she gets out of her chair, walks over to where I am, then sits on my lap!

My eyes become as big as dinner plates as my breath gets caught in my throat. I try to look away, but she grabs my chin and forces me to look at her! She wraps one arm around my neck while bringing her body closer to mine! Meanwhile, I try my damnedest to make sure a "certain" part of me doesn't rise to attention!

"What's wrong, you don't think I look pretty," she asks in a pouty voice, lips dangerously close to mine.

I get caught in her gaze, as if I had been turned to stone. Eventually, I realize how dumb I must look at the moment, so I break out of the girl's gaze. I then cover part of my face with my hand due to the embarrassment. "Fine, you win."

She responds with a victorious "ha" before finally getting off my lap. When I finally took back control of my body, I sent a glare at the redhead which caused her to laugh. Despite the awkward circumstances, I laugh as well.

A second later, the redhead clears her throat while standing up straight.

"Well, now that we know how we feel about each other, there's only one thing left to do."

I look at Asuka questioningly, waiting for her to continue.

She raises one index finger as she leans forward. "A date."

I blink a few times, then shrug. "Alright."

In response, the girl produces a deadpan expression, then flicks my forehead.

"Hey!" I snap while grabbing the slightly stinging area. "What was that for?"

The redhead puts hands on her hips while looking at me in a disapproving manner. "Idiot. You're supposed to ask me out."

"What are you ta-"

She points a finger in my face. "It's the guy's duty to ask the girl out. Not the other way around."

I . . . can't. . . what?!

"That's stupid," I state plainly. "You clearly want this date thing to happen, so why do I-"

"Don't want to hear it," she cuts me off while giving a condescending smile. "So. . .what are you waiting for?"

I glared at the German, before looking at the ground in slight embarrassment. I breathe in deeply, exhale, then shake my head.

Let's get this over with.

"Will. . .you go out with me?" I ask in a whisper.

She cups a hand behind her right ear dramatically. "What was that? I couldn't hear you?"

My cheeks become red hot as I scowl at Asuka.

"Will you go out with me?" I ask, my voice audible this time.

She crosses her arms and puts on a mock thoughtful expression. "Hmm. I don't know. I mean, it doesn't sound like you really care."

Fine, two can play this game.

I shrug. "Alright, if you really don't want this thing to happen then-"

Her eyes go wide. "Hey! I didn't say-"

She stops when she sees me trying to hold back my laughter. This causes her to pout.

"Hah, hah, very funny."

I smile. "So, when should we go on this date?"

Internally, I cringe at the word date. I'm not used to hearing that word coming from my mouth.

The redhead takes a moment to think. "We can go sometime after school. We'll decide on the 'where' around that time."

I nod in agreement. Asuka, seemingly satisfied, says that we both better get ready for school. I hesitantly informed her that I won't be going today. I just. . .need a short break after my revelation yesterday. She looked at me in concern, before revealing a sympathetic smile, telling me to take as much time as I need. She then heads to her room to change into her school clothes.

Sitting in my chair, I attempt to process what had just happened. This is happening. This is really happening. I'm gonna go on a date with this girl.

I can't help but laugh.

This new revelation is giving me a new feeling that's best described as emotional whiplash. One moment, I'm struggling with my new appearance and the thought of all my friends being gone, the next I'm agreeing to go on a date with a girl who apparently has feelings for me.

It's just so unbelievable, yet unbearably amusing.

My moment of amusement is interrupted when I notice someone staring at me. As if she appeared out of thin air, I spotted Misato peeking into the kitchen, displaying a cheeky grin.

I groan while throwing my head back.

"Goddammit."

The smell floating from the bowl of ramen in front of me is intoxicating. It was the basic kind of ramen with boiled eggs, chicken, long noodles, and vegetables all soaking in hot chicken broth. I already ate part of it, so I already know how good this dish is. The smell and the taste is almost enough to make me forget my irritation toward the woman sitting across the table from me.

Almost.

Misato, drinking something other than beer for once, is wearing that all knowing smile. It causes my eye to twitch.

"Kay, I'll start," I finally speak. "Why did you drag me to the mall?"

The woman giggles. "Just thought about how we rarely hang out unless we're at Nerv. So, this is me trying to remedy that."

I roll my eyes. Misato's been wearing that stupid smile since this morning. When Asuka left for school, Misato took it upon herself to get me to leave the house. So she drove me to the mall, where we spent the next half hour buying random items before stopping in this food court to eat. That was my day so far.

I let out a sigh. "Is this about this morning?"

"What you mean," she asks, feigning ignorance.

I tap my walking cane impatiently. "Don't play dumb."

That stupid smile of hers gets slightly bigger. "Oh, do you mean the thing about you and Asuka?"

I nod.

"The thing about you two sleeping together?"

I get halfway through my second nod before stopping myself. I then replay what Misato just said in my head.

"MISATO WHAT THE HELL? ! ? ! ?" I practically scream, before covering my mouth. There weren't a lot of people in the food court, still it was enough for me to feel embarrassed when I sensed them staring.

"You both are hormone fueled teenagers living under the same roof. It's only natural tha-"

"WE DIDN'T. . ." I then speak quieter due to the embarrassment. "Do the 'thing'."

"Oh," she questions, as if not fully believing me. "I swore I saw Asuka sneaking into your room last night without any-"

"Anyway," I start, trying to get things back on topic. "I was wondering if you overheard the conversation Asuka and I had during breakfast!"

My reaction throughout this whole exchange seems to amuse her to no end. "Oh, do you mean how much heard about this little date you're planning?"

I relax slightly, gladly free from that other conversation. "Yes, that."

She silently laughs while shaking her head. "Well, I heard enough to know you have no idea what you're doing."

I sigh. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she says while lifting her cup to take a sip of tea. "Anyway, part of the reason for me bringing you here was to celebrate. I mean, you both finally admit how you feel about each other! This is a big moment, and definitely something worth celebrating! Honestly, I thought Asuka would never admit how she felt."

I produce an irritated expression at the woman's overreaction before realizing something. "Wait. . .you knew Asuka liked me?!"

She shrugs. "Well, yeah. It was obvious to me."

I groan in slight frustration. Am I really that dense?

"Do. . .do you know how long she felt this way?"

She shakes her head. "Only Asuka can tell you that. Still, I could tell you first caught her eye when you dove into a volcano to save her."

I go silent for a moment as I go deep into thought. When I bring myself back to reality, I see Misato's smirk shifts to a soft smile.

"You're both lucky," Misato says suddenly. "You both found someone to connect with. Found someone you can trust. It's. . .nice."

I'm a bit taken aback. "Well. . .you know. . .it's not that big a deal."

The woman shakes her head. "I disagree. After everything the both of you went through. . .you still found room care for each other. The both of you took a leap of faith, and opened your hearts to one another. And. . .it looked like that faith is about to be rewarded."

She puts a hand on her chest while staring into her cup of tea. "That kind of trust, that kind of faith. . .is rarely found in this world. Which is why it's so important."

There's a ting of. . .sadness in her tone. As if she's speaking from past experiences.

"Michael." The woman continues. "Never take these moments for granted. Understand?"

I slowly nod. "Yeah. . .I understand."

Wanting to shake off the serious tone, I let out a scoff. "Honestly, you're making it out like I'm asking Asuka to marry me."

Her mischievous grin returns. "Knowing Asuka, she probably expects you to propose within the week."

I nearly jumped out of my seat! "Please tell me you're joking!"

The woman chuckles. "Which brings me to the other reason I brought you here. You need to know what actually goes on when dating someone."

She crosses her arms and nods, as if she just came up with the greatest idea on Earth. "Which is why, we'll be role-playing. I'll be Asuka, and you will be you."

I stare at the woman for a couple of seconds. "You're kidding, right?"

Evidently, she wasn't.

We spend the next ten minutes acting out this role-playing idea, with me cringing every couple seconds. The woman was having too much fun being Asuka. She would act childish. . .you know, more than usual, and demand I tell her she's pretty. She would have me be specific with my compliments and would lightly admonish me if I did something "wrong". She would also throw in a couple "tips" on dating which would either cause me to cringe even more, or become flustered.

This "session" eventually devolved into me attempting to get Misato to stop embarrassing me, while the woman herself continues to find ways to push my buttons. The both of us further devolved into a contest on seeing who could act the bigger fool. We started throwing insults, acting like drunkards, or making dirty jokes. You see, my thought process was to out crazy the crazy.

Anyway, our antics scared away the small number of people eating at the food court. Honestly, it was pretty funny.

"I miss this," the woman says out of the blue. "These little talks we used to have."

I blink a few times, then reveal a small smile. "Yeah. . .me too."

We spent another hour in the mall, buying a few more items, before returning to the apartment.

"I hate you," I grumble while sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Don't be like that," Misato says while using a camera to take pictures of me. "You just look so cute in that suit of yours."

I give her a death stare which could kill an elephant. Her response is telling me to smile more.

Apparently Misato didn't listen when I told her for the hundredth time that this date wasn't that big a deal, because to forced me to put on some stupid suit she bought from the mall. I was lucky she didn't go overboard in the suit department, for it isn't uncomfortable to move in. It's just a brown dress coat, which I kept unbuttoned, with a blue buttoned up shirt underneath, followed by pants the same color as the coat, and black shoes.

It was basically the semi-casual look. Looking "fancy" but not overdressed. Still doesn't mean I like being forced to wear the damn thing!

I grunt. "What's taking Asuka so long?"

She decided to get dressed at four. It's five now.

"She'll get out when she's ready," Misato says while continuing to take pictures.

"Will you quit it?!" I snap.

"Nope."

The sound of the door to Asuka's room sliding open causes both Misato and I to turn in the direction of the noise. Entering the living room is Asuka wearing a blue-green dress, with a type of long sleeved formal jacket worn over the dress itself. A large bow, some shade of yellow, wraps around the collar of the dress as a handbag hangs off Asuka's shoulder. Lastly are the black slip-on shoes currently on her feet.

She looks. . .really nice.

Misato elbows me, and I glare at the woman. She gestures toward Asuka and I roll my eyes.

Grabbing my cane, and standing up, I produce a smile.

"Umm," I start. "You look nice."

"Of course I do," the girl responds, practically pointing her nose in the air. I want to say something sarcastic, but Misato told me to be nice.

The redhead walks over to where I am then wraps her arms around my right arm.

"But, it's nice to hear you say it," Asuka once again speaks, beaming at me.

I scratch the back of my head and give a nervous laugh.

"Alright you lovebirds," Misato says as she takes one last picture, this time with Asuka and I in the frame. "Let's get going."

Finally.

Asuka and I are now inside Misato's car, patiently waiting to arrive at our destination. Asuka doesn't know where we're heading, only Misato and I are aware of our destination. This was done so it would be a surprise to Asuka. You see, I knew if I let Asuka choose which restaurant to eat at, she would choose the most expensive one.

So yeah, she has no idea where we're going.

It's still around five in the afternoon, so the sky is still a shade of blue. But the sun is starting to set, so a shade of orange and yellow paints the horizon. The colors of the setting sun mixes with the city colors quite nicely. Most of the buildings in Tokyo-3 are white, so they would act as a blank canvas for the setting sun's rays. This made the usual uniform white of the city a colorful place to observe, and the further we drove into the city, the more the sun would paint the buildings.

I . . .think I might be a bit nervous which is odd. I've been around Asuka for a long while now, so why would I be nervous now? Guess it's because I'm new to all this dating stuff and don't want to screw things up. Hell, I'm actually starting to go over the advice Misato gave me, that's how nervous I am.

"Alright, we're here," Misato calls out from the driver's seat. Looking out the window, I see we've parked next to a sidewalk. Located on this sidewalk was a chain of restaurants which, under normal circumstances, would be filled to the brim with people.

"Thanks," I tell the woman, while grabbing my cane. "We'll take things from here."

I'm the first to exit the car and, just as Misato advised, opened the car door for Asuka. The girl seemed to get a kick out of that action, for it looks like she's holding back the urge to laugh or say something sarcastic. I grunt in response.

When Asuka exits the car, I shut the door.

"We'll call you when we're ready to return home," I tell Misato.

The woman smirks. "Just try not to have too much fun."

I give an expressionless stare. "Don't make it weird."

Both Asuka and I bid Misato farewell as she drove off. When the woman's out of sight, without so much as a warning, Asuka wraps her arms around my right arm and looks at me with a knowing smile. I'm still not used to this kind of physical contact, but manage to keep my composure.

We began our journey down the sidewalk, passing every restaurant we came across. It was slightly difficult for me to walk, with Asuka hanging onto my arm, but I didn't have the heart to tell her to let go. Besides, I have a cane, so I don't have to worry too much about losing balance.

Every time we came across a restaurant, the redhead would ask if that's where we're eating and be disappointed when I said no. Even with Misato lending me money, there's no way we're eating at some fancy five star restaurant. Like seriously Asuka, I think you're overestimating how much I'm willing to spend on this date.

We eventually come to a stop in front of this buffet. It's just fancy enough for us not to look overdressed, but cheap enough for me to actually afford eating there.

Asuka doesn't look particularly impressed.

"Why did you choose this place," she asks while slightly pouting.

"Because it's cheaper than the places you wanted to go to, and both of us don't have jobs," I replied bluntly.

She scoffs. "Well, it's not my fault my tastes are refined."

I snort out a laugh as I escort her into the restaurant.

I've never been to any buffets in Japan, so I was shocked that we had to pay a certain amount of money depending on how long we planned on staying. In other words, we were basically on a timer. I didn't mind having to do that, but Asuka seemed annoyed. Anyway, I paid enough money for use to spend at least ninety minutes in this restaurant, so hopefully, things go well.

After we found our table, and our waiter introduced himself, we went off to get some food. The buffet had a ton of options to choose from: steak, sushi, fried rice, ect. I decided to go for some familiar foods, and to try some I knew would gross Asuka out. Like, oh I don't know, the cuttlefish.

The reaction she had to that thing on my plate was priceless.

When we got back to our table, we immediately began eating. We both were. . .quiet. We just spent most of our time eating our food while occasionally looking at one another. I don't think that's a good thing. Aren't people supposed to talk on dates? Why isn't Asuka saying anything? Am I supposed to say something?

I let out a sigh.

"Umm." Come on, think of something. "Your. . .hair looks nice."

Fucking kill me.

Asuka gives me a look, then rolls her eyes. "Was wondering when you'd start talking."

My eye twitches. "I'm trying my best here."

She hums a bit before producing a smirk. "Aww, is this your first time going on a date?"

My eye twitches again at her sarcastic tone. "Yes."

"So this is all new to you," she once again questions.

I snort out a chuckle. "What, you're surprised?"

"Well, it would explain that clueless look on your face," she says while smirking.

I scoff. "Well, why weren't you saying anything?"

Her smirk turns into a devious smile. "I wanted to see how awkward you would make things."

I display an annoyed smile. "So are you just gonna keep making fun of me throughout the entire date?"

"If it's gonna stop you from being so nervous, then yes."

I blink a few times at Asuka's response, then start full on laughing. "Well, I guess it's working."

This time her devious smile turns into a genuine one. "Just act like it's a normal day." A pause. "Okay, don't do that. Just. . .ask some questions or something."

I snicker. "Alright, guess I'll start."

After breaking the ice, we spent most of the dinner asking each other questions. Asuka decided to ask about my time in America, since I rarely talk about the place. I gave her generic answers which basically conveyed the idea I didn't really care for the place all that much. The only new piece of information she got from me was that I had a brother. Apparently, I never mentioned him around her, which is news to me. So, she asked if I had any stories involving Shane, and I gladly shared. Overall, she got the idea that my life before becoming an Eva pilot was mundane. But she did find some of the stories I shared entertaining.

I also learned more about Asuka. Before, I knew Asuka trained for years to be a pilot, but I had no idea she was training since she was a toddler! That's insane! She of course bragged about how she got the best education, and how she surpassed most of her peers. I really couldn't let her get away with her bragging, so I mentioned how big her head was getting.

Her reaction was hilarious.

We eventually devolved into poking fun at one another. We would turn the smallest thing into an argument, and one only "won" when the other person couldn't think up a reply. These arguments were never over anything serious, I mean at one point we were arguing over whether water was wet or not (for the record, I won that round, proving that water isn't wet). I guess arguing and good natured teasing is how we communicate with each other. It's just how we are.

Getting bored of this restaurant, I convinced Asuka that we should leave the place to go somewhere else. Doing the traditional dinner date was obviously not working for us, so we needed to go somewhere that was more fun for the both of us.

The first place we headed to was the arcade.

A few hours had passed since we left the restaurant. We spent those hours either playing at the arcade, wandering around the city, or watching a movie. The movie we watched was actually pretty good, if a bit generic. It was about a boy learning to fight demons and eventually finding out he was some sort of "chosen one", destined to save the world. Again, that movie was generic, but it was entertaining to watch.

After the movie ended, we went back to the arcade.

All that time spent with the redhead made me realize how much I. . .enjoyed being around Asuka. We spent most of our time trying to one up each other, either by beating each other in a game, or through teasing. It was always fun doing those things. I tried the whole being "romantic" thing a few times, but it always felt like I was forcing it, which the redhead "oh so graciously" pointed out. It just felt more natural just to act like it was a normal day for either of us.

There's also just something about the redhead that I'm. . .drawn to. That's the best way to explain what I felt during my time with her. In the past, I always complained about how abrasive and loud-mouth Asuka could be. It was always something that rubbed me the wrong way. But now, she's less confrontational. . .so my view on her personality has changed. It's crazy but. . .I think her being so full of herself is the reason I like her. She always stands tall, as if demanding the world to get out of her way. As if to proclaim that she was the boss, and no one could tell her otherwise. She's intelligent, brave, and isn't afraid to let you know it.

It's dumb, and childish. . .but kind of inspiring in a way. To have that much faith in yourself. . .it's just something I don't seem myself doing. Perhaps that's why I feel drawn to her.

. . .

Perhaps. . .I was always drawn to her.

Right now, the both of us are downtown, just walking silently on the many sidewalks of this city.

"You aren't tired, are you," Asuka asks.

I look at the redhead, who's still clinging to my right arm. It's still hard to walk with her doing that, but I make an attempt not to show fatigue.

I lean on my cane while walking, but only slightly. "Naw, I'm fine. All this walking doesn't bother me a bit. Besides, we can always take a train if we need to go somewhere far."

I look up at the sky and see how dark it's gotten. It must be nine by now. Can't believe we stayed out for this long.

In the corner of my eye, I see Asuka put on a conspiring look. "So. . .what else do you have planned tonight?"

The tone of her voice nearly made me lose all feeling in my legs, but I put up a strong front.

"Nothing to do with what you're apparently thinking," I poke her forehead. "Pervert."

I can see her resisting the urge to strangle me. "You're a jerk, you know that."

I shrug. "I know."

A second later, we devolve into a fit of laughter.

"There is one thing left I need to show you," I point out. "If we hurry, they might still let us in."

Asuka gets excited and gestures for me to lead the way.

We make our way to the nearest train station, and hope on the first train available. Since where we're heading is a surprise, I ask Asuka to cover her eyes. She reluctantly obliged, and covered her eyes then entire train trip. When we exited the vehicle, Asuka still had her eyes closed until we reached our destination.

"Okay, you can open them now," I instruct.

The redhead opens her eyes, then slowly awe paints her face.

In front of both of us was an open stone gate. But what lies beyond is what caught Asuka's attention. Several of the biggest trees in the city decorate so much of the grassy landscape, that it was like we were about to enter a forest. A stone path, lit up by the surrounding path lights, carves itself through the grove of trees and into the open hills of this park. Even at the entrance we're standing at we can see several stone structures surrounding a gigantic lake. Despite us being in a city, some stars can be seen, their light beautifully reflecting off the lake.

"What is this place," she asks, jaw slightly hanging.

I snicker. "The Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden." A pause. "Or at least, a replica of it since the original one was destroyed in old Tokyo."

I scratch the back of my head. "It's corny, but I thought you might enjoy just exploring this place. I mean, it is kind of cool to look at."

She looks at me, smiles, then drags me into the park without a single word.

As expected, the park wasn't filled with people. But, every once in a while, I would see a couple of adults walking past Asuka and I. I guess it was obvious to them that the redhead and I were on a date, because I would overhear them commenting how they thought we were a cute couple. That was annoying, but Asuka seemed to enjoy the attention.

For the most part, Asuka and I would stick to the stone path, just appreciating the sites of the park. On the path we were walking on, we came across someone who was selling flowers. In an attempt to be somewhat romantic, I bought some flowers from the seller. I just picked a bunch of flowers I thought Asuka would like. The arrangement consisted of red and pink roses, bluebell flowers, and a few red camellias. When I gave the redhead the flowers, she seemed to appreciate the gesture, but still gave me shit for doing something so clique. I just smiled while shaking my head.

Around thirty minutes of wandering around the garden, we come across a large hill overlooking the entire park. It was there we decided to rest. Lying on this hill, we both silently observed how the park's lake reflected any light which touched its face. When the moon came out of hiding, its lunar light bounced and scattered around the lake's surface in such a way, it gave the entire area a heavenly aura.

"Hope this date wasn't too boring," I comment sarcastically.

Asuka clicks her tongue. "Well, it could've been worse."

"That's nice to hear," I say, pretending to be offended.

She giggles. "But, taking me here was definitely the highlight of this night." She glances at me. "We should come here again."

I smile. "Yeah, definitely."

Without saying a word, Asuka wraps her arms around my waist and pulls herself closer to me. I squirm slightly, not entirely used to this kind of intimacy.

"You need to get used to this," Asuka says, apparently noticing how uncomfortable I am.

I don't say anything, but nod regardless.

We spend a few seconds in silence, just staring at the lake, until I feel something tug slightly on my neck. Looking back at Asuka, I see the redhead examining the cross I'm always wearing.

"I remember holding onto this while you were in the hospital," Asuka says in nearly a whisper. "I've rarely seen you take this off. . .so I knew it was important to you. So. . .I promised myself that I'd keep it safe until you woke up."

I stare at the object she's currently examining. "I can't thank you enough for doing that."

She takes her eyes off my cross then looks directly at me.

"Why do you always wear it," asks Asuka. "I assumed it was because you were religious. . .but you never seemed to be the religious type."

I purse my lips. "Well. . .I am slightly religious. I've always been for as long as I can remember. But. . .that's not why I wear this."

A pause.

"Why do you wear it then," Asuka questions.

I go silent, then get into a sitting position, inadvertently pushing myself away from the redhead's embrace. I grab onto the cross dangling around my neck, and squeeze. I always do that whenever I feel lost. To an outsider, it would seem like I'm performing a type of prayer. Sometimes, that is the case. . .but not this time.

"It's. . .personal."

Glancing at Asuka, I see her expression is a mixture of confusion and. . .something else. I immediately feel bad. I always do this. I always find some way to ruin things. Why am I like this?

Asuka slowly gets into a sitting position and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay," the redhead breathes out. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."

A deep frown carves itself onto my lips.

Asuka's right, I don't have to talk about it if I don't want to. And I really don't want to talk about it. But. . .I guess that's always been the problem. I've never talked about anything that's bothering unless I'm forced to. I just let the hate and resentment build and fester until what's left is something ugly.

My grip on the cross becomes tighter.

I've never talked about my experiences at home to anyone. Not even my brother. Shit, he only knows because he was there with me during all the torment I endured! But that's not the same as actually talking about it with someone! Even though he was there to witness my pain, even though he would be the most logical person to talk about pain to. . .I just never did that. I never wanted to be a burden on him. I never wanted to be a burden on anyone. For once, I didn't want to be weak.

So I kept it all inside.

. . .

But perhaps. . .just this once, I shouldn't keep it in.

"Remember when you told me about what happened to your mother," I say out of the blue. I notice the redhead stiffen, then gradually relax.

"Yes, I remember."

"That. . .was very brave of you," I say slowly. "Just telling someone like me, a very personal and painful memory."

My body shakes slightly, as if I had been dumped in ice. I manage to stop the shakes after letting out a shaky exhale.

"I'm. . .I'm not like you," I admit. "I'm not brave, or strong. . .or anything special really. I'm just someone who. . .acts out whenever I feel like I'm losing control. I guess it's to distract myself from my own pain."

I can tell Asuka was gonna say something, but I cut her off. "You put enough trust in me to tell me something so personal. I guess it's only fair I do the same for you."

I hunch over and put a hand against my face. "I've never told anyone this, not even Rei. Though, I'm sure she was eventually able to put two and two together."

My lip twitches as I exhale through my nose. A short laugh escapes my lips when remembering the childish and idiotic origin of my cross. "I made this thing a few years ago out of some old plastic I found in my house. It was supposed to serve as. . .'protection'."

Asuka stays silent, before asking the magic question. "Protection against what."

If it was possible for me to frown even more, I would. "My mother."

The entire area goes silent. No wind blowing, or sounds of crickets singing. Everything's just silent.

"I'm not very fond of her," I continue. "But, there was a time when that wasn't the case. There was a time when Shane and I would be proud to call that woman our mother. I wouldn't call those days 'perfect' by any stretch of the word. But. . .I just miss those days."

I pull my knees to my chest. "One day, she just. . .changed. Till this day, I don't know what caused it. But all I know is that it turned her into a spiteful, paranoid, religious fanatic. It made living with her. . .difficult." I let out a sigh. "For some reason, most of her spite was directed toward me. I guess it was because I was the older brother. Or she genuinely hates me."

Closing my eyes, I'm brought back to the memory of that house. The image of my previous home is almost as clear as day. The smell of broken wood lying outside the house. The feeling of warm air rushing over my skin. The carpeted floors leading to the tiled kitchen inside that old house.

It all makes me sick, as if my stomach is slowly turning itself inside out.

As the sickness spreads, I bite the inside of my cheek. "One night, she accused me of sneaking into her room. . .and touching her while she slept. I think I was ten at the time."

Opening my eyes, I take a look at Asuka. Her eyes are wide open as her jaw slightly drops. In response, I let out a cruel laugh.

"Thanks by the way."

That snaps her out of her shock. "For what?"

I reveal a smile, but there's no joy in it. "For not asking if I did."

A mixture of concern and disbelief crosses her face. "Michael, I would ne-"

I raise a hand. "I know. It's just. . .what are you supposed to say to that? It's only natural for people to believe the parent in these situations. I mean, what reason do they have to lie?"

The sickness seeps into my muscles, slowly turning them to stone. "If it only stopped there, if it only stopped at that one accusation. . .if it only stopped with her giving me dirty looks. . .then maybe I wouldn't hate her so much."

I put both hands on my face, as if trying to wipe away whatever was infecting me. "She didn't stop. She just kept accusing me of horrible things, things I never did, and kept telling me how much of a disappointment I was. As if I was some demon living under her roof. She eventually became convinced that God was speaking to her. That he was sending her 'visions' of all the evils in the world, and that in one of those 'visions', she saw me clearly burning in hell. In an attempt to 'save my soul'. . .she would discipline me."

I try my best to calm myself down while continuing to speak. "She didn't hit me that much, preferring threats over physical violence. *Chuckles* Her favorite one was threatening to tell my friends that I'm a little pervert who tries to rape his mother. Yeah, that was her favorite threat." I shake my head. "I cut ties with my friends, just in case she followed through on that threat. I wanted to stay on her good side, so I always tried to be the 'good child'. When she told me that my apparent pride would drag me to hell, I would respond by not showing emotion. When she told me to do something, I did it without question. When she accused me of doing something horrible, I didn't argue or fight back. If I did, she would hit me, and if my brother tried to tell her what she was doing was wrong, she threatened to hurt him."

Anger slowly builds up inside of me. "I was constantly walking on eggshells around her, doing whatever I could to not upset her. But nothing I did was ever good enough. She would always find some way to show how much of a failure I was. The worst part, even after everything she did to me, was that she made it out like she was the victim. And what made it even worse. . .was that I almost believed her."

I let out an almost manic laugh as I feel my eyes start to well up. I can feel the sickness make its way into my heart, slowly turning it to ice. "She did all this, just because she believed she could talk to God."

Asuka finally decides to speak up.

"You said. . .that you're religious, right?" I nod, so she continues. "So, you still believe in a god?"

I once again nod.

"Why," she questions.

I take a moment to think. "It's just. . .something I believe in. I know, it's weird. My mother used the existence of God to justify her shitty treatment of me, so how am I able to justify my belief in that same God?" I shrug. "I guess. . .it was something I didn't learn from her. I mean sure, she would always preach about the 'evils' of the world. But. . .I know I never got my belief from her. No. . .definitely not from her."

Both my hands ball themselves into fists. "Besides, I refuse to let her affect how I view things. I refuse to believe her behavior was a product of God, the Devil, or the concept of religion. It just gives her an excuse, a scapegoat to conveniently explain her actions! No. I refuse to give her that! I refuse to give that bitch any kind of excuse!"

I start breathing heavily and only now realize that I had been yelling. I calm down slightly. I then look at the cross hanging from my neck. "One. . .horrible night, after another yelling match with her. . .I wanted to die. I was just tired of the constant fighting, the constant feeling of dread. So, in a last ditch effort to make the pain go away, I made this thing."

I'm just. . .numb now.

"I gripped it tightly," as if to demonstrate what I was saying, my fingers wrapped around my cross. "And prayed with everything I had, that everything would be normal for once. That. . .my mother would stop hurting me."

There was a long pause as Asuka just stared at me, patiently waiting for me to finish what I'm saying.

"What. . .happened," Asuka asks, gesturing for me to continue.

"Something. . .nothing. . .I don't know," I sigh. "The day after I made that prayer, my mother changed. She was like her old self, someone who wouldn't hurt me for some random reason. She actually seemed. . .happy to be around me."

I close my eyes, perhaps an attempt to calm down. "That moment of peace only lasted a month, before things went back to hell." I look at my cross, and bring it closer to my face, as if to get a better look at it. "I didn't use this thing to make a prayer like that again. Still, I keep it so it can serve as a reminder. That sometimes. . .good things happen. It's just that. . ."

Memories of my time at home return to me, as well as my time in this world. Times when mom, Shane and I felt like an actual family before things turned to ruin. Times when Toji and I would hang out, before I had killed him. Times when the real Rei and I would speak to one another before I killed her as well. Everything that makes me happy eventually fades. It all goes down the drain.

"They never last." I finish, a single tear rolling down my cheek. I grunt in apparent frustration as I wipe the tears away.

This is so dumb.

"Well, that's the story behind this stupid thing," I say with a forced laugh. I put a hand to my face. "This is dumb. I'm acting like I had the hardest life. *Chuckles* It's nothing compared to what you had to go through." It really isn't. It's nothing compared to Shinji, Rei, and Asuka's childhood. Yet, here I am, acting like anything that happened to me actually matters. "This really is stupid. It's so stu-"

Asuka grabs my face with both hands and forces me to look at her. I try to pull from her grip, but she keeps me in place.

"Stop that," is all she says. I attempt to say something, but she cuts me off again just by repeating those two words.

Those blue eyes look deep into mine, as if staring into my very soul. It's. . .uncomfortable, but I can't bring myself to look away.

"This is real," she states. "Your pain is real. Don't you ever dismiss it, or think it doesn't matter. Don't ever do that, understand?"

I dumbly nod.

She closes her eyes, hands still on my face. "You promised me, remember? You promised that you'll never give up, no matter what. So don't give up on finding happiness. I know you believe that it can never last, but that doesn't give you an excuse to give up. Keep moving forward and keep trying until you can find happiness you can keep."

She opens her eyes, and once again stares into mine. "And, if things ever get too tough for you, then I promise that I'll always be there to help you. No matter what. So please, never give up on yourself. Can you do that?"

I want to tell her that there's no way she can keep that promise. That to always be there for me is an impossible goal. I mean, I told her that I eventually have to leave! So how can she always be there for me if I'll eventually be gone? I want to tell her to not make promises she has no way of keeping.

But I can't.

The look of absolute determination in those eyes when she made that statement sparked something within me. As if, even the laws of the universe would not prevent Asuka from keeping her word.

"I. . .I think I can." I frown then shake my head. A genuine smile paints my face. "No. I promise I will never give up." A pause. "And. . .as long as I remain here. . .I promise I'll be there for you as well."

Those must've been the right words to say because in a blink of an eye, I felt Asuka pull my head toward her face as her lips landed straight on mine. I was wide-eyed, totally in shock at what was happening. Time literally seemed to stand still as every neuron in my brain fired off simultaneously. Eventually, when I realized what was happening, I closed my eyes and attempted to kiss her back.

It was short, amateurish, and if my skin could turn bright red, it would from the embarrassment. But when we broke our kiss, I felt like I was on top of the world.

"Am. . .am I dreaming?"

When I opened my eyes, I saw Asuka giving me the cheekiest grin I've seen her give.

"I'm sorry, what was that," she asks in an exaggerated manner. My eyes widen in horror.

"Did. . .did I say that out loud?"

The girl, in response, grabs my cheeks playfully. "Was that your first kiss? Did I just take your 'innocence'? I guess that means we have no choice but to get married."

I become flustered. "S-Shut up!"

She starts laughing which eventually gets me to laugh. We lie back on the grassy hill, arms wrapped around each other, staring at the lake in front of us.

We should probably call Misato since it's pretty late out. But, I wanna stay here, for as long as possible. For the first time in a long while. . .I can't imagine being anywhere else.

Author's Notes: Finally finished! This chapter ended up slightly longer than I originally intended, but I believe it all worked out in the end. I appreciate the comments I got last chapter and appreciate the patience all of you have. Don't got much to say since I'm pretty tired at the moment, so I'll just say that Thomas got the name of the band in the last chapter correct.

Chapter 21: This chapter's band is a Finnish rock band formed around 2003; some of their songs can be found in games such as Max Payne 2 and Alan Wake. The song of this chapter is hinted in the title; it's a type of love song. Fitting, right?

See y'all in the next chapter, and try to stay healthy out there.