Reid wasn't really sure how it happened; it was eight months since he had given up Dilaudid and he couldn't be more eager to forget the time that he was so out of control of his life, he was the first to admit that he had made a lot of mistakes in those
three months that he was seriously addicted. He had wanted to escape reality and when he had been high his inhibitions had very much diminished. Spencer had by no means been a virgin, however when he had been addicted he had slept with a lot of people
and none of them had been suitable. He supposed really that that was how he came to be in this predicament. Six months ago Helen Carter had shown up on his doorstep and immediately he felt ill she was two and a half moths pregnant, the child was his
and she didn't want it, the only way she would keep it was if Spencer paid her a large sum of money and paid her medical bills. He had agreed straight away, he didn't know if he could raise the child but he personally believed that the child deserved
a chance at life.

Now Helen had gone into labour and Spencer was freaking out, he had bought things for the baby even though he wasn't sure he was going to keep it. He still hadn't told the team what could he say "You know when I was a druggie, well I slept around in that
period and now I am a single parent … fancy helping." Spencer scoffed to himself as he heard Helen scream from the delivery room, she had already signed over parental rights and the baby would be handed straight to Spencer. He breathed slowly and
wiped his sweaty hands down his skinny jeans. As he stood up and started to pace a nurse came out of the delivery suite holding his child. His breath left his body all at once and his heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice as the nurse walked
towards him with a smile on her face.

"Dr Reid?" Spencer nodded numbly as he glanced at the baby wrapped in a white blanket "Miss Carter has stated that the baby should go straight to you, she doesn't wish to see the child … Congratulations Dr Reid you have a healthy son, because he is two
weeks early we would like for him to spend three days in the incubator." The nurse continued and as much as Spencer tried to listen his brain was spinning. He had a son, he looked at his child in the nurse's arms, he could see tufts of hair that was
the same colour as Spencer's, his sons eyes wee closed and Spencer's gaze travelled over his sons face, he looked so much like him, he could see very little of Helen in him, apart from the fact that his son had her nose. His breath caught in his throat
as his sons eyes opened, his eyes were the same honey colour as Spencer's, he knew at that moment that he could never give his son up. The nurse had stopped speaking, obviously waiting for Spencer to say something.

Spencer cleared his throat "Can I hold him?" The nurse smiled a dazzling smile at him and passed him his son. Spencer gently took his son, it felt like he was holding the weight of the world, he couldn't mess this up. His priorities had now changed, from
this moment on his son was the centre of his universe.

As a midwifery nurse Kelly had seen many fathers hold their children, however it was very rare for a mother to sign over rights and completely ignore the child, because of this she was eager to see how this new father interacted with his son, as she spoke
about the normal things, the weight of the child and a short stay in an incubator she saw the mans eyes travel over his son and heard his breath catch as the child in her arms open his eyes. She felt at ease as he asked to hold his son, yes this little
boy would be cherished regardless of who his mother was.

"Have you got a name for him?" Spencer startled at hearing the nurses voice, he hadn't really thought of names, however he instantly knew what his child would be called. He smiled down at his son who was looking at him with curious eyes.

"Hey little man." He gasped as his son grabbed his finger with a strong grip "well I think you look like an Blaise Derek Reid." His son continued to assess him as the nurse asked him a few questions, Would he like Blaise to be circumcised? Yes itwas
hygenic. Would he like a hand and foot cast done? Yes, he wanted to document every stage of his sons' life. The questions seemed never ending, he just wanted to get his son settled so that he knew everything was fine.

Eventually after hours of filling out paperwork he was sat by his sons incubator in the NICU, it was late at night and the room was quiet as Spencer gazed at Blaise, he was so small only six pounds, however he was a long baby and would probably be tall
like Spencer, Spencer had fed him earlier and loved how Blaise became so relaxed when being fed, his eyes drooped as he finished the bottle and the nurse showed him how to burp Blaise.

Spencer looked at the clock; he needed to leave while Blaise was asleep, just to pick up the essentials, he hadn't been prepared when Helen had rung him, he was meant to have more time. He gazed at his son one last time before informing a nurse that he
would be gone for a couple of hours. He then strode quickly to his car and climbed in. That's when it hit him. He was a father, a single father with a demanding job and no family to help him. FUCK. He needed to calm down, to control his breathing.
He started the car and drove home, as he drove up the drive he looked at his house, it was relatively big with four bed rooms, a library and an office, he had moved in about two months ago for a mixture of reasons, one his old flat reminded him of
Dilaudid, when he used to shoot up and two he wanted Blaise to grow up with space to play and to have friends over. Spencer wanted to call Derek, he knew it was late, but the man was like his brother. He decided that he would call him and get him
to meet him back at the hospital. He walked through to the room he had prepared as the nursery, now he thought about it, he knew that he would never have been able to give Blaise up, he had prepared for his arrival meticulously. The nursery was amazing
and Spencer had had fun decorating the room in a jungle theme, he had painted a jungle scene on the main wall and had commissioned a man to make all of the furniture including a rocking chair, all the furniture was made from oak and the crib could
be made into a toddler bed. As he walked across the room to the chest of drawers he sighed, how was he going to tell Derek and the others? He quickly scooped up the black leather satchel that he was going to use as a nappy bag, he packed a few nappies
and other essentials from the room before opening the top drawer and picking up vests, onesies and hats. Spencer then made his way to the kitchen and picked up some pre-made baby milk and some sterilised bottles. He placed the bag on the counter of
the modern kitchen and breathed deeply, his life had been turned on its head. He sighed and looked down at his rumpled clothes, he needed to change. Since he had come back from the Hankel ordeal he had dressed differently at the BAU, he wore the clothes
that he normally wore instead of clothes that made him look older. When he first started at the BAU he knew his appointment was one of contention among the agents because of his age and he had dressed older and hidden behind rambled facts, however
since Hankel he didn't care what people who didn't know him thought, his team knew that he deserved his spot on the team and that was what mattered. So now he dressed in his normal clothes, skinny jeans, a t shirt and a blazer.

He strode up to his room looking at the bassinette in the corner he smiled thinking of Blaise. He quickly changed into comfy clothes a fitted white t-shirt, a grey zip up NIKE hoodie and matching cuffed tracksuit bottoms. He then slipper on white NIKE
AIR MAX and strode back through to the nursery and picked up Blaise's car seat. Once he was sure he had everything he placed everything in his new Range Rover Sport SVR, he had known that his old Volvo would not be safe for his child, and he was very
rich from all his time gambling when he was a teen, the car was navy with silver accents and Spencer loved it, once he had everything secured in the car he pulled out his mobile … it was time to call Derek.

Derek Morgan had been asleep two hours when his phone rang, he groaned please don't be a case he thought desperately as he groped around on the bedside table. He looked blearily at the screen inhis hand … it was Spencer, he immediately answered
knowing that his little brother wouldn't call this late without a reason "Spencer, everything okay?" his mind had gone onto high alert as soon as he had seen Spencer's name.

Spencer sighed as he heard Dereks voice, it was like a balm to his tattered nerves "Derek I'm fine … I have something to tell you, can you come meet me?" Derek agreed straight away and asked where Spencer wanted to meet, Spencer could here Derek's breath
hitch in panic when he said that he wanted to meet at the hospital but Spencer was quick to reassure him that nothing was wrong. They agreed to meet in an hour, which gave Spencer time to get back to the hospital, change Blaise into his own clothes
instead of the hospital issue ones. Spencer couldn't believe how much he had missed his son until he saw him asleep in his incubator, how could he love someone he had only just met, he asked the nurse if he could change his son and when she agreed
he smiled.

He gently picked Blaise up and cradled him close to his body, he chose a baby blue onesie that had embroidery on it. There was a little light bulb and then underneath in navy embroidery it said 'Daddy's little genius' Spencer thought it was perfect, Spencer
then folded the scratch mits over his sons hands and stroked his cheek. Finally Spencer brought out a matching hat and placed it on his son's head. He smiled down at the child in his arms; he couldn't wait to introduce him to Derek. He looked quickly
at his watch, he had fifteen minutes until Derek would arrive, so he placed Blaise gently in his incubator and pulled a soft stuffed lion from the nappy bag, he quickly kissed his son on the forehead before closing the incubator. He quickly told the
nurse he would be back soon before making his way to the main reception of the hospital. He was suddenly nervous, would Derek even want to be his friend anymore?

Derek strode briskly into the hospital still worried despite the fact that Spencer had assured him that he was okay, he saw Spencer leant up against a wall obviously lost in thought. The man was dressed more casually than Derek had ever seen him and if
anything that worried Derek more, what was wrong with his brother? He made his way over to Spencer and as he got closer Spencer looked up and smiled nervously up at him.

Spencer smiled nervously as Derek approached him "Hey Derek, lets go to the café I need to tell you something."

"Okay kid, lead the way." They made small talk on the way to the café. Once they had coffee they went and sat at a table, Spencer shuffled nervously.

"This isn't easy to say Derek, I should have told you sooner, all of the team but especially you. As you know after Hankel I really struggled for about three months, my life was out of control, I felt like I was perpetually spinning and the only thing
that stopped that was the Dilaudid, well actually that's a lie the only things that stopped it was Dilaudid and sex. Anyway as you know I eventually got a hold on my life. After two months of being clean, a woman I slept with turned up at my doorstep,
she was two and a half months pregnant with my child." Spencer heard Derek gasp but he had to continue to get it all out "The only way she would keep the child was if I paid her a large sum of money. I wasn't sure if I wanted the child but I knew
I couldn't let it be aborted due to my bad decisions. So I got regular updates and went to a few sonograms when I wasn't at work. I think deep down I knew I was going to keep the child, I brought clothes and everything else, I baby proofed my new
house, decorated the nursery and then last night Helen called saying she had gone into labour. We had just returned from the case so I rushed to the hospital and three hours later my baby boy was being placed in my arms and I knew I couldn't give
him up." Spencer looked at Derek now, looked him straight in the eye "I wanted to tell you so much, I wanted to tell all of the team but you especially, I already felt so weak for giving into the drugs and then I felt ashamed I was so out of control
I didn't care if I remembered to use protection. You are like my brother the last thing I want is to have disappointed you."

Derek quickly stood up and sat directly next to Spencer instead of opposite him, he pulled Spencer into his chest "Spencer I want you to listen very carefully to me, as much as it was a stupid and irresponsible thing to so, I'm not disappointed in you,
God Spence when I was your age I sometimes forgot to use protection and I didn't have half the problems you've had in this last year. Of course I wish you'd told me earlier, I could have been there to support you even if you didn't want to tell the
team yet." They sat there for a few minutes like that before Spencer started to pull away.

"I want you to meet him, God Derek he is so small," Derek smiled as he watched Spencer's eyes light up as he spoke about his son. Derek couldn't wait to see the little boy that seemed to have relit the fire beneath Spencer.

"Come on then I want to meet my nephew, and you still haven't told me his name." Derek said as they stood up.

Spencer blushed, "Well I think you will like his name, his name is Blaise Derek Reid." Derek stopped walking and spun around to face Spencer who was smiling shyly at him.

"Blaise Derek Reid" he said stunned.

Spencer nodded "Derek you are the best person I know, there is no one that I would want to be a role model for my son more than you, and on that note I want you to be first Godfather." Derek smiled and pulled Reid into a rough hug before they started
to walk towards the NICU. Spencer waved at the nurse on duty before heading over to his son's incubator. Derek watched as Spencer picked up Blaise, Spencer was right the baby looked tiny, Spencer turned around and Derek got his first look at his nephew.
God Blaise looked exactly like Spencer. "Would you like to hold him?" asked Spencer.