Disclaimer: I don't own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU

"I'm home."

No response. Strange. Komachi usually beat me home, as I had the Service Club to attend to on most days, and I was especially late getting home today. As the final day of my second year, I'd been forced to endure a "small" gathering following the end of the school day at a nearby cafe. I would've hightailed it outta there using my Stealth Hikki like an Abra in a cave[1], but there wasn't much I could do to escape, not when a certain sly, foxy kouhai, was specifically trying to make sure I didn't get away, assisted by a well-endowed airhead and her best friend, the Ice Queen.

Yeah, Isshiki had the gall to visit the club yesterday and request that we come for, what was it, emotional support. Yes, despite the list of invited guests being primarily made up of people Isshiki was friendly and familiar with, as well as the vice president and secretary, she still made sure that we showed up. Something about "inviting a diverse crowd of students from Sobu" or some crack and bull like that. I wasn't really paying attention to her when she told us, I was far too busy scoping the place out for potential escape routes. But as it was an official club request, Yukinoshita and Yiugahama also made it their job to keep me there. Eugh.

Whatever. I may not have been able to leave early, but at least the food was free. And I managed to avoid that blonde bastard, too.

…

What's this? Me looking towards the positives? Oh no. I knew being forced into social interaction would screw with my head. See what you've done, you stupid females? I think I need to lie down.

But back to what I said before. Yeah, I'd made sure that I avoided Hayama specifically. Not that I wouldn't do so under normal circumstances, it's just that I'd been avoiding him for over a week now. Things weren't awkward between us, but he kept trying to get me to talk alone with him whenever he could come up with a reason for us to be alone together.

Things had been like this ever since he confessed to me about his undying love last week.

…

NO. I didn't mean it that way! Sorry, but that's not happening, not in this life. Sorry to shoot down your favourite ship down again Ebina, but I hate the guy.

No, last week he had asked me before class to meet him on the room during lunch. Not really wantin to be alone with the damn riajuu bastard, I had attempted to make multiple excuses behind why it wouldn't happen, but he'd anticipated them and worked to avoid them. Kawasomething, who occasionally ate lunch up there had been asked by him to vacate it and he'd already told his little clique that he had to ask another teacher something about his homework. Not being able to come up with an adequate excuse at that moment, I agreed.

When I got up there, he went on a little tirade about how he isn't the constantly easygoing and cool guy he made himself out to be. That there were pressures on him due to who he was and his family name, blah blah blah. Not like he hadn't already shared this info with me. Asshat Hayama used Feels Speech. It does not effect the Hikigaya... [2]

Wait. Two Pokemon references on one page? Wow, I'm losing my edge or at least the author is. Gotta branch out more.

Anyway, what really got my attention was his little confession, or at least, what he said afterwards in regards to it...

"I'm in love with Yukinoshita Yukino."

I could only stare at him, wondering why the hell he was telling me this, all the while he returned my gaze with one of... expectation? What do you want me to do, you moron? To say congratulations, your welcome, good for you? Stick out my fist and fistbump you in celebration? I couldn't give a damn about your feelings, and if you're going to try and brave the blizzard that is Sobu High's resident Ice Queen, who am I to comment?

"Right... And I'm supposed to care because?" I said, raising an eyebrow after a few moments of silence.

I really didn't care. Sure, there was this weird feeling in my gut, but I'd also been late for school and had to miss out on Komachi's awesome breakfast in order to make it on time and avoid Sensei's wrath. So that was probably what was causing it.

"I don't want you to be around her unless you have to," he spoke firmly, not unlike a father reaffirming a rule to his stupid child. "She's been through enough growing up, and the last thing she needs is her name run through the mud because of you and your... schemes."

Unbelievable. That crap hadn't just come out of his mouth. And, seriously, schemes? I'm not my sister. She's the schemer, all I've done is solve the issues brought to my attention as a member of the Service Club.

Seriously, what the fuck?

"I'm going to confess to her," -he was still going? Damn, he could talk- "and her family, to let them all know how serious I am about her, and how I want to make her happy. But first..."

His gaze hardened, and he took a step towards me. What? You trying to stare me down? I've been looked down upon too many times for some riajuu like you to intimidate me.

"I need to know," he was almost whispering now. "What it is you feel for Yukino."

…

Oh?

….

No more was said between us after he'd done the verbal equivalent to opening Pandora's Box and let loose those words into the air.

Me running off and back towards my homeroom probably had something to do with that.

But what was I supposed to do!? He'd caught me off guard with that! I'd expected something strange but not something that ridiculous!

And, since then, he'd been trying to get an answer out of me, but I continued to prevail, avoiding him at every turn.

...

What? My answer? I'm... I'd rather not think about that...

…

Bah! Whatever, a problem for another day, school was over for a while now, meaning I wouldn't have to see his stupid mug for a few weeks. I could try to think of a solution to this, but I promised good ol' Vita-chan to spend more time with her once school was over. I don't make a lot of promises but I try to keep the few that I make, at least.

After removing my shoes, I stretch my arms out, heading towards the stairs. Time to make my way up to my room and rela-

…

That noise... What is that? The shower? Huh. I guess Komachi's home after a-

...

Another pause. No. No way.

There, lying on the floor of the lounge, thown open as if the owner had been in a rush, with more of it's contents littered around it, was a dark purple suitcase, decorated with gaudy souvenir travel stickers.

The same suitcase my parents got for my sister once they found out she'd won a trip to travel the globe.

I can only stare at the damn thing. There was no way she was back already. She was supposed to be in Bosnia, or something, right?! How was she here so fast? This must be the work of an enemy stand! [3]

Maybe I should have stayed in touch with her so I would at least know when she'd arrive, because there's no way in hell anyone else would've told me.

God dammit. At least have the decency to not cover half of the lounge floor with your crap, will you, woman?

I turn towards the bathroom, the pattering of the shower water coming to a halt.

"Yo, Tomoka, is that you?"

A few seconds of silence.

"Yup!" I hear her energised response all the way from the bathroom. Not surprised, considering how much of a loudmouth she is. "Feel free to leap into my arms!~"

"... No thanks." [4]

I quickly make my way to my room. Last thing I need is her interrogating me about my school year.

"Hey, Hachiman!~"

I freeze, halfway up the stairs, my door so close, yet so far, almost mocking me for my inability to reach the safety sealed within. You're too slow![5]

I turn back to face the bottom of the stairs, letting out a sigh of resignation as I do so. I realise I've been doing that a lot lately.

Her head was poking out from the hallway that lead to the bathroom.

Dark, messy hair that normally fell just below her shoulders had been tied into a quick and messy bun, water still dripping from it, grey eyes that shined with a strange mixture of youth and wisdom and a grin that promised nothing but mischief.

Yukinoshita Haruno may have been a demon super woman, but she had nothing on this woman here, who is something even worse.

Her name? Hikigaya Tomoka. My older sister.

"Komachi-chan's told me some interesting thing's, little brother," she smirked.

Oh. Oh, no. Please, no, Tomo-nee, if you hold any love for your brother, you won't listen to a word Komachi said. I can only hope she didn't say what I think she said.

"What things, if I may ask?" I reply, trying to keep my cool. If I slip once, she'll pounce and have my neck in a vice grip.

"Oh, I'll dive into the details with you soon," she pulled her head back, beginning to make her way elsewhere so she could finish getting changed, most likely Komachi's room.

Nothing too major out of that troublesome mouth of hers yet. Maybe I would get away in time? Or had my defenses grown significantly enough for me to withstand her usual attacks? Alright, time to get away!

"But I wanna hear all about these... club members she kept on mentioning." I could hear the smirk in her tone. "I'll be up in your room in about ten minutes."

…

Well. I'm screwed.

[1] Abra are infamous among Pokemon fans, as they can only Teleport away from you, making them a little hard to catch at first

[2] What happens when a Pokemon is attacked with a move that has no effect on them

[3] Stands. You should know what I'm referring to.

[4] What Houtarou and Tomoe say to each other once the latter returns home at the start of the Hyouka OVA

[5] Sonic's infamous taunt in Super Smash Bros Brawl

Alright, let me just be clear, I'm very new to this. This whole thing in general is kinda crack, and I'm still trying to figure out the ending.

I'll be honest. My original idea was to have an old friend of the 8man's show up at Sobu and start derailing his lifestyle with her very existence. About a week after that idea came to mind, I discovered the story Shiori-san to Hikigaya-kun by Veltus. A great read, I recommend it regardless of what you ship, or whatever. Despite that, I was a little sad that the premise had been used already, but at least glad it was used for a great story.

But that left me without an idea. It's not like I couldn't write about it at all, but I didn't see the point when Veltus had started one that amazing. And I'm a noob at this story writing thing.

So I just thought I'd put a spin on it. I wanted Hachiman to care a little more about the friend than he did other people, and the one group of people he'll always value is family.

So Tomoka became his sister.

But I needed to differentiate her from Komachi and explain her absence. I happened to be watching Hyouka at the time, and figured, "hey, what if his sister was like Houtarou's?"

So she was made older and more carefree than Hachiman, whereas Komachi is younger and hella more responsible than he is.

So a lot of Hikigaya Tomoka's attributes will be drawn automatically from Oreki Tomoe, right down to the names. Tomoe – e + ka = Tomoka.

Yeah, not great with japanese names, but I may as well put it out there and be transparent with the fact that Tomoka is one great reference to Oreki Tomoe. Or ripoff, whatever floats your boat.

I'd say more about her character but I want to let that through during the story. I'll try to have the next chapter up this coming week.

Don't expect a masterpiece, for your own sake, but any and all criticism is welcome, especially in regards to characterization. I'm afraid Hachiman might come off as a little different with Tomoka around, and I can already tell the start of this chapter is a little rambly, with a random flashback for good measure.

Ah, well. Good day~

Edit: Sage the Mystic Maven, your advice has been heeded.