A/N: Hey, just wanted to say that this story tackles severely taboo subjects, including rape, romanticized abuse and in later chapters gore. On the emotional side it tackles eating disorders and depression and general melancholy.
If you're still reading you probably know exactly what kind of a story this is. Some people like their story dark and in my case I like it as black as my coffee.
If you're up for it, please send me a dark Naruto fic that you liked.

Prologue
Habits

It wasn't the first time...that this man had taken his angers, frustrations or pure sadistic glee out on her. But her hairs stood on end nonetheless. She couldn't move, paralyzed by his gaze. Knowing that she had to stay still and compliant through it all made it worse. It felt so awfully wrong and left a sour taste in her mouth. This was her life. This was Sakura.

He didn't mess around. He was there for one reason only. He threw his fist quickly and it slammed into the side of her face. Time slowed down. Her head rang with pain and she fell down to the cement. Her face barely avoided the trash the littered the street. The ground smelled like wet gravel. Her perception was slow and muddled.

He was upon her and grabbed her hair, forcing her head backwards. He brought a knife to her throat, grazing it gently. She wondered if the money was really worth it. Was financial safety worth it in exchange for her physical and mental wellbeing? Her heart pounded with adrenaline and she was too afraid to gulp, lest she'd accidentally cause him to cut hear throat. Sweat lined her forehead.

„Take it off." His sultry voice said. She knew which piece of clothing he was referring to.

Ever so careful to watch the knife since he was still on top of her, an imposing behemoth, she wiggled her pants off her bottom. Sasuke was just a man, she told herself. But through her rather unique perspective the only thing that could fit into her vision was Sasuke and more Sasuke. She turned her head to the side and tried to find a pose that didn't hurt her neck so much, but his grip was unrelenting. His hips pressed up against her ass and she shivered. Her top had ridden up to her torso and her stomach, mon pubis and thighs were exposed to the ground.

She willed herself to accept it, to ignore the cold from the freezing ground. Reminding herself to be submissive as she had agreed to. She couldn´t back out of it now. This was her choice. She repeated the thought. Then again. Sasuke felt so heavy on her. She was suffocating, and she suspected he knew it. Her chest was constraining. It was hard to breathe and she still had the knife to worry about.

„ All of it." He bit out, giving her a thrust of emphasis.

She ground her teeth together, willing herself to keep herself composed. She moved her arms down, trying not to scrape herself on the cement. She had to lift her hips up to get the panties off and she could hear Sasuke growl as her ass rolled against him. Nausea made itself known and she wanted to puke. He brought the knife away from her neck and she felt the cold blade touch her right butt cheek. She froze and struggled with the overwhelming desire to run away.

Agonizingly slowly, he dug the blade into her soft skin. It was just a slight scratch, enough to make her bleed. He found her attractive when she was covered in blood. Though the pain wasn't so great, the fear was. It would be painstakingly easy for him to jam his knife into her flesh, to permanently cripple her. She tried to convince herself that Sasuke wouldn't do that. That would be insane.

But as she felt his fingers bask in the blood that poured from her cuts and smear it on her lower lips as lube, she wondered if the man had ever been sane.

When it was over he pushed himself off of her, and she rolled pathetically to the side. Everything hurt and yet nothing seemed real. It was like her body didn't belong to her anymore. She was just a bystander, watching with muted interest. Sasuke seemed unfazed by the whole event save for the calm that had settled over his eyes. He unruffled his hair and brought up a handkerchief to wipe most of her fluids off his hands. He picked up his phone and snapped a picture of her bruised behind as an afterthought. Humiliating. She wondered if he would masturbate to it later. She could hear sounds of a Samsung galaxy phone being operated and it finished off with a ping sound.

„700 dollars. Done." He didn't look back and walked away.

Sakura kept laying on the ground for one sweet moment. The space under the bridge was dangerous and Sasuke wasn't the only fucked up man out there. As much as her body and soul ached, she had to act in her safety. Using all of her will to bring herself back to her body, she rose. With hasty hands she pulled on her wet bloody clothes and put her large coat on to prevent any onlookers from wondering too much or calling an ambulance. It looked worse than it was.

She would later have to go to the bank and ask the teller if the money had in fact arrived to her bank account. She didn't have an advanced phone like Sasuke. She only had a nokia she could flip open. She couldn't just check her account balance. Sasuke usually didn't skip out on payments, but she was as always paranoid.

She had finally arrived home. As she opened the door to her shared flat a stench of marijuana filled her nostrils. She shook her head and walked briskly past the living room and headed straight for her own tiny room. She didn't own a bed, but she had a used mattress with two blankets, no pillow though.

She fell onto the blankets with her lower parts covered in blood and semen. But she just couldn't bring herself to go to the shower, not quite yet. Her chest heaved as she tried to breathe her worries away. At some point while staring at the molding ceiling she fell into a restful sleep, knowing that despite all of this fucked up shit, she at least had money to pay rent.