*******Story #2 in the God of the Sea story arc********

AFTERSHOCKS

Chapter 1

There was a calendar in the office that he had taken to crossing out the days in. not with any pen or pencil but with a pin prick to a finger, he had crossed the days out in his own blood. A small price, a small sacrifice in the faint hopes that it would somehow send her back into his life. But after that which had happened with the me people, that he had been turned into nothing more than a rapist that had forced himself on Sookie….the resulting child that had been left with the sea people had been the result. And there was no magic that could erase the hard truth. It had been a strange and terrible adventure that they had had under the water and though there had been enough love between them for her to be freed of the magic that had tethered her to a life under the sea, Sookie had elected to leave town, needing time for herself, to clear her thoughts. To possibly ponder a new future, one that could very well not include him in it.

"You know, there are things called pens." said a voice from the doorway of the office and as he sat back down behind the desk, he met the eyes of Pam as she entered, closing the door behind her. Behind the snark, there was genuine concern for him. "You haven't given up on her…..and I know its been hard but you're letting the place fall apart. The flooring out in the bar is going to shit and the office….look at all the clutter." she kicked at a stack of boxes filled with lord knew what. "If I know her, she will be back. But I can understand why its taking her some time. I worked at a brothel and I know how men could treat ladies. Some of the ladies that were handled too roughly…." she trailed off, her mouth working faster than her brain. She hadn't meant to come off as insensitive and her point was lost in her own concern for her friend. "Look, why not go to her? You have the power to track her down and then-"

"And then what?" he stood up, slamming his hands on the desk which vibrated with the energy of the force. Rounding the table, he stood toe to toe with his first progeny, his legendary temper making an appearance. "This is nothing for you to concern yourself about. I am the monster that made her leave. What I have done in the past pales in comparison to what I did to her-"

"It wasn't your fault. Those sea bitches had you all kinds of screwed up." Pam protested, standing her ground, her hands on her hips. "As much as I adore your bloodlust and a good fight at your side, I have to admit it that I can see the goodness there too. And its….a miracle. And she has given the both of us a chance to be more than we were. And I know deep down, she knows you never wanted to do what you did to her."

"I wish I could say for certain that I didn't want to do what I did to her." he replied, the edge in his voice still there but there was a slight defeated tone to it. "Part of me was a monster, a barbarian even before I got turned. What I did in my past….there are things I never told even you….or her. Things I wanted to stay buried. But then I did what I did to her…I violated her in every way possible. How can I come back from that?"

"if I know her, I think she is hoping that you will come after her….it has been three months and….I think…I know she misses you. But I won't say I could be wrong. That she could full well take off again and use her little faerie magic to conceal herself from you."

"And if that happens, there is a chance I full well won't see her again."

"I don't believe that….she has family here….I know how much she loves family over anything else. Even Chanel, if you can believe that." Pam rolled her eyes but a hint of a smirk played on her lips. "Go. Find her. I will get the club shut down and taken care of while you are gone 'cause I gotta feeling it won't be a quick trip to get her."

Anger and pain was still radiating from him but he knew she was only trying to help and as such, he put his hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "I will always be grateful for you, you know. Never forget that."

"You have always needed me to keep you in line." she quipped and with a smile at her, he sped from the bar and off into the night where in a couple of hours he would hopefully be with her again and he hoped, would convince her to come home.

Chapter 2

The hotel she had chosen to stay at during her sabbatical of sorts was one steeped in history-personal history. It was the one that she, Jess and Bill had stayed in in Dallas when looking for That she had been forced to use her magic to sneak money from people to pay for her expenses was something that she felt ashamed of, even though she took care to make sure she took only what she needed and that those she took from were well off. A modern day Robin Hood, she thought dryly as she finished with a businessman she had passed by at a diner, transferring a few twenty dollar bills from his wallet into her own pocket. Stealing was not her thing, but this was how she had survived in the past three months. Three months of traveling the country, hotel after hotel. Though this one was the one she had stated at the longest and she was getting tired of the hiding. However, the traveling had been good for her, she had seen things she had never thought she would see in person. The Grand Canyon, The San Francisco Bridge, the CN tower…she had seen countless sights and walked through so many towns and cities…..all in her mission to think of anything besides her problem at hand. Her heart and soul were hurting from the events of a few months back and so many conflicting feelings were in her, she wondered if she dared return home. And yet she couldn't turn her back on her loved ones at home and she knew that there was one person what had to be reeling from her long departure. To her relief, she was starting to hope, to pray that he would finally break and come after her. With a sigh, she covered herself up in one of the charcoal bathrobes and slippers and threw herself on the couch, flipping on the flat screen. After ordering a big sundae from room service, she continued to wallow in her grief and pain, thinking perhaps she was somewhat stupid for laving for so long. And it was then she decided, this would be her last night here. She would flash herself straight home in the morning, giving her the day to figure out how to proceed from here. There came a knock at her door and she was puzzled, having just sent the room service person away with a generous tip.

She looked through the peephole and her knees buckled, she should have felt his presence but she supposed she was too engaged in the ice cream and her emotions to have noticed. Slowly, the unlocked the door and found herself staring into the leather clad chest of the one person she had missed more than anything else. "Hello Sookie." Eric said as he looked at her curiously, as if bracing for her to pop out of the room in a flash of light. Instead, he found her smiling back and slowly, she walked up to him, her tears wetting his shirt under his open jacket. He helped her into the suite and shut the door behind him, locking them securely within the walls. "I was wondering on how I would be received. " he said dryly, a serious look on his face.

She sat on the couch beside him and looked as somber. "I was wondering how I would react too….I kept changing from one feeling to another and then I saw you and…" there was silence for a moment before she addressed the elephant in the room, the thing that had driven the wedge between them. "They're all doing well….grown and healthy. Good fighters" she said, referring to the baby boy she had had and the triplets that the former queen of the me people had given birth to. "They have your build." she couldn't help but add. It was a comment that put tension back into the air and she hadn't meant it as a jab but rather was merely pointing out the information sent to her. "Kiana sent me a letter that found me by magic. I woke up one morning and the letter was on my dresser. They are going to be good protectors of their people and will do their people proud. All four have been adopted by families and as such, have no idea of their true parentage."

"Probably just as well…..though if they have a thirst for blood or have abnormally sharp teeth-"

"Funnily enough, it would seem that all four have somehow trended mainly towards the race that they were meant to be. Though they are all extra fast, strong and agile, they chalk it up to their workouts apparently." Sookie explained tiredly. "They need never know the story of their conception and creation."

Biting his lip, it was something that intrigued and troubled him. It was strange to think he had had a hand in the creation of these beings, and yet he knew how it played on her mind. "I know words will never be enough to make up for what happened and you can hate me for eternity if need be. I wouldn't blame you."

She looked at him with curiosity. "I have done hours upon hours of thinking and reminiscing…..alone with only thoughts and memories. Feelings. And nothing will change the fact that that child exists….I accept that and I think we both hope that he grows up to be even half the kind of person that I know you are." she saw there was a slight sense of relief on his face but that eh was bracing for what she was going to say next. "But I need you to know that this was something that will be hard for me to deal with. And not the part about that the child exists, but what brought him into being."

"I never wanted-" he protested as she put a finger on his lips, shushing him, looking at him with more severity than he had seen her have towards him before. Ever.

"I can't say that I forgive you because you know we have a bond…and I felt that part of you took…..pleasure in what you were doing to me. And I don't blame you entirely. Because I know what you are and I know it was not something you set out to become. But you are what you are and I do accept that. I can't just pretend nothing happened though. I…." her lip trembled. "Night after night after I left, I had nightmares. For days on end and only when I finally accepted fully the truth…did I finally stop having those dreams. The truth that there is and always will be that terrible part of you that as strong as you are, can't fight. Its in your nature. I think that if I wasn't what I was now…..I maybe wouldn't have survived this."

He frowned at the insinuation. "Do you think I would have killed you? Lost myself completely and drained you…or worse?" he looked almost incensed, getting to his feet and stalking back and forth across the room. "You have so little faith in me that-"

"I meant that if I hadn't become what I am, learned from previous dilemmas, that I very well may have ended everything by my own hand. " she replied gently, watching him stop pacing as he turned to face her stricken face. "I may be strong and have all these powers, but seriously, I have the same personality I have always had and I won't lie, after what happened….I did have flashes of my former, weaker self yelling at me to end the pain. Fast. And I certainly could have at any time. There are certainly plenty of ways I could end myself if I so wished to."

It was then that is truly sank in how he had hurt her. He had known he had done damage to her, to their relationship but hearing her bluntness, her true feelings….it was breaking his still heart. "Perhaps all of this was a mistake. Maybe we should…part ways in case something worse happens…. The Viking looked genuinely disgusted but she knew it was at himself. "I should have been stronger, I couldn't fight that bitch's magic….not until it was far too late and I saw in your eyes what I did to you…if that makes you happy, if it will keep you safer…I would do anything to give you peace of mind." he paused and closed his eyes as he added "I would meet the true death if it meant you could breathe easier and find happiness again."

He walked to the window and the lightproof blinds were raised as the dawn was starting to approach. "It would be ironic if I were to meet the sun in the spot my maker did….." Eric seemed almost resigned to his self imposed fate, his back to her as she pushed a button on a remote, lowering the blinds, setting the remote down and approaching him from behind as he stood staring at the covered window. He already knew she was sobbing, silent as she was and he turned around and to her relief, she saw that he too had tears falling and she was taken aback as he turned to face her fully, going down onto his knees before her. Always have some kind of weapon on him, he pulled out a deadly and ancient looking knife from the folds of his leather jacket and handed it to her. She knew it was ancestral and he wanted her to take it. "Give yourself some peace after everything. You and I….we had time that has been unforgettable. But this latest incident. Unforgivable. I can't live with this….you've been through so much and I had already put you through enough…..give me the chance to spare you from anything more."

She shoved the knife back at him gently and she was still sobbing, her heart breaking. "You think I want to be put in this position? You think I would sleep better knowing that I killed the person I loved the most? I don't think you could be crueler than asking me to kill you….."

He looked up slowly at her, disbelief on his face and she had a epiphany at that moment, knowing that no matter what, she knew deep down that she needed him and he needed her just as much. And she did know he hadn't meant for this to happen and if he could, he would take the pain from her. She fell to her knees and touched her forehead to his. Never before had she seen him this vulnerable, so haunted and tormented and she literally felt it herself. She cupped his face with her hands, the tears in her eyes welling up again. "I told you before a long time ago I can't imagine my life without you in it and I still mean it. And I am not and will not give up on you or us. I want you and only you. No matter what. We have always made it through ok and I know we will be fine. I have to admit that there was a part of me that…..that liked how rough you were to me. Part of me got off on it, actually….and maybe its because I know I am more able to take that kind of…treatment but maybe I have become more of a…not a monster, exactly, but maybe some of my humanity is a little more flawed than it used to be. The balance is there but I don't want to go too far one way or the other. We need each other to keep ourselves in check. I just…I want to move on from this and I have decided that the people down there in the water, the people we helped give new life to…." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, steeling herself to broach the fragile subject that was the child that was to live apart from them, never knowing the whole story. "I don't think a day will go by that we don't think of the boy that we left in the care of the me people. But the fact is that he is mostly one of them and things are best as they are. It won't be easy though, knowing that a part of us is never to be with us, never to truly be family. He is part of their family and we can rest well knowing he is safe and being trained well. Like the three that Camie had. They have been blessed with good genes…..I forgive you…I always will and I think you and I both know the power of that magic that made you do what you did. And never for one moment blame yourself and your nature. I know your nature. I know the truth." she trailed off as he looked at her wonderingly, the blood tears damp on his cheeks as he found her kissing him gently on the lips and neither spoke again for some time, even when he had carried her off to the king sized bed. They simply cuddled up against each other, deep in thoughts until they both fell asleep, both ready to return to what passed for a normal life for them, back in Bon Temps. Back with their loving family and friends. It was said time could heal all wounds and they both believed that though this wound was deep, that they would persevere. They had to.

THE END