Author's Note:5/13/19 I am going through and doing major updates, fixing some plot holes and generally tidying up the story.

So it's been a while. I have several stories in progress, but this one is finished and it is editing mode. I am definitely working on, "It's Quiet Uptown". Unfortunately, some personal grief had kept me from writing, but also inspired this deeply troubling but ultimately rewarding story I apologize in advance for the angst, but if you've read my other fics, you know it's just what I do. Also, scenes of motherhood, extreme grief, etc Please let me know what you think. Warning- character deaths. Also, anything in italics is from the past, indications of when it is happening are used, the sections from the past are supposed to help give background to events happening in the "present".

"If you write the same thing one more time I am charging you for the ink, Granger." Severus Snape's voice had changed little since he was a professor at Hogwarts, and Hermione's professor at that. She looked up from the document she was writing on the changing legal status of werewolves and sighed, her mind had been rambling for hours. Stretching her fingers and using her wand to procure a new document, she rubbed her abdomen where the newest Granger-Weasley creation was brewing, a girl they planned to call Winnie.

"Make fun all you want, I can't help it if I'm worried about my daughter leaving for school tomorrow. She's so unlike me; all she talks about is playing quidditch. How in the world did I give birth to a female Ron?" Laughing, she finally finished the documents and put them in a folder for Seamus Finnigan before swirling in her chair towards Severus as the tea that he ordered was delivered. If anyone had told her after the war that she'd eventually share an office and task force with her former professor, she wouldn't have believed them. Surely he wasn't so different from the man she'd known through adolescent eyes, but she saw bits and pieces of the man he could've been had he never joined Voldemort and become a death eater. He was thoughtful and kind, though he would rarely own up to it; there were moments while working with him that she wondered how some eligible witch hadn't snatched him up. He wasn't immediately handsome at first glance but over time his classic looks reminded her of mythology, of the Greek heroes she'd studied before going to Hogwarts. There were times, like this, when she got lost in thought just imagining how different life would be with him, which led immediately to guilt and an intense fear that he was reading her mind. Pouring her tea, he finally caught her attention again.

"You act as though she's somehow deficient in any way. At least she is more prepared for the experience than you were- perhaps she won't memorize Hogwarts; A History...good lord, has she already?" He jibbed, sneering at her with a slight smirk. Though it was hard for him to remember exactly what Hermione had been like as a young girl, he knew Rose was more like her mother than Hermione believed, and found her company far more tolerable than most of the children he encountered; at least Rose could play a decent game of chess and didn't feel the need to prattle on unnecessarily.

"I'll be in around ten tomorrow since we're driving with Arthur and Molly." Rolling her eyes, Snape knew not to tease her as she slowly lifted herself from the chair and straightened her back. She would've liked to apparate to the station instead of riding with Arthur who had difficulty driving in the best conditions, little alone a car full of adults and children of varying ages.

SSHGSSHG

(Hermione's final year at Hogwarts)

Hermione Granger walked swiftly through the corridors of Hogwarts trying to make it to her potions practical before she was needed in the infirmary again. Although she'd started her studies soon after the war ended, giving little time to really deal with aftermath, she felt like she was faring well and contributing. Most of their classes took places in rooms that had been largely unused as the castle was rebuilt, but she didn't mind at all. Finishing her NEWTs with ten of her classmates and then the traditional seventh years had felt right, she'd even buried the hatchet with Draco Malfoy.

Opening the potions' classroom door, Hermione was shocked to find Severus Snape speaking with Professor Slughorn, Snape hadn't left the infirmary for more than a few days at a time since becoming more mobile after the final battle, and that had been with her previously. It was odd to see him moving around as though he was completely healed.

"Just who I needed to see, Miss Granger, your NEWT examination for potions has been set for the thirtieth, so you will be free of potions first." Her breath caught, it seemed too soon, she wasn't ready to leave Hogwarts, her friends, to face the world without the comfort of familiar surroundings now that her parent's house was destroyed. She knew it was the beginning of the end; with the first NEWT exam taken, she'd have nine more and then she would leave.

"Oh, good. I'll just go then." She immediately fled and only hours later did she reemerge in the infirmary where Snape and Madam Pomfrey were talking about a new restorative potion. She couldn't meet his gaze nor hers, she'd been crying for hours and it showed. Checking on the students and professors still convalescing, Hermione tried to push her pain away, to forget that under the many layers of clothing her body was a mess of jagged scars and the word 'mudblood' dripped anew most mornings. Lost in thought, she didn't notice Snape come to her side and then to ask her many questions before he finally became so exacerbated he forced her to look at him.

"Granger? Do you need a pain potion?" She winced, the pressure of his hand on her arm where the carved word was re-opened made her eyes water again.

"No, I'm fine and shouldn't you be resting? I need to change the bandages around the graft soon."She snapped, pulling her arm away and trying not to think of her pain.

"You forget to whom you are speaking."

"And you forget you wouldn't be here at all without me, so I'll call that even. You are no longer my professor, but I guess I have you to thank for scheduling my NEWT early." She paused her spellwork and turned to face him, he was far less terrifying now that she'd seen him so vulnerable and though an amicable peace had been established, she recalled how nasty and caustic he could be when provoked. He was far less terrifying now that she'd saved his life, watched him shake in pain, entered his mind to speak with him to share their lives; yet, he still terrified more than any other person she knew.

"Why are you wasting away here when you could be living." She felt a surge of her magic, the gentle trickle of blood down her arm and then nothing, her mind went blank for a moment and then he finally noticed the blood. It piqued his curiosity; why was she bleeding? Had she been hurting herself?

"I'm not wasting away; I'm finishing my education which is important to me. I will have to prove myself as a muggleborn witch for the rest of my life, I'd like more than what's written in the Daily Prophet to back me up." Pushing away from the desk where she had written several notes about the patients, she walked to the storage closet and took out fresh bandages, counting out the amount she would need for his neck and her arm, meticulously thinking of the fastest way to clean his wound and go to her rooms.

"Sit down." She quipped, standing before him and casting a numbing charm, several cleansing spells, and one moisturizing spell to help keep the skin from drying out. As she worked, she felt his eyes on her, watching her contort in pain as a fierce aftershock of the cruciatus curse moved through her. Spelling the bandages to stay in place, she practically ran from him and the infirmary down to the special rooms for returning seventh years. She didn't hear him follow, only found a small pain potion by her door thirty minutes after she'd cried herself hoarse. When she saw him the next morning, he didn't mention the potion and she didn't apologize. They continued as friends in most respects until the month before she left, well fled Hogwarts for Oxford; when she'd realized that he would always be a hateful man and she a bleeding heart for a cause. She ran to Ron, she buried herself in books, not knowing how desperately she'd fallen in love with her former professor until many years later.

SSHGSSHGSSHG

"Need a potion?" He asked as her face winced, lower back cramps had been plaguing her for weeks but she knew she still had an entire month of pregnancy before she would see her newest daughter. Shaking her head, she squeezed his hand and dipped down to kiss his cheek. While their relationship hadn't always been so cordial and close, she rather enjoyed this side of her colleague. When he wasn't trying to put her in her place, he was rather fun to be around, though every now and then she got the feeling that she irritated him more than he let on, it was moments such as those that Seamus unfortunately got the brunt of their personalities. Sometimes she forgot the other parts of Severus Snape that she'd known as an adolescent, but those times were few and far between; most of the time, she enjoyed his company so much she rarely worked without him.

"You always take such good care of me, Severus. I'll see you in the morning." And with that, she was gone. She preferred this working relationship to the one she'd had with Severus when she first joined his task force. He'd been incredibly and unfairly cruel, and she'd just had her second miscarriage, though she hadn't informed him of that until his incessant pestering finally drove her to tell him why she was reluctant to get involved in certain aspects of their research. It took a full year before they were easy friends and longer still before she considered him one of her best friends; she'd come to trust him with her life once more.

Walking to the floo, Hermione took some powder and arrived home in the townhouse she shared with Ron, her husband of thirteen years.

"Ron, are you home?" Hermione called out setting her bag down and waiting to hear him call out from the void of their home. Hearing both Ron and Rose, Hermione's mouth turned upwards, and she dusted off before finding her husband cooking dinner. Bending slightly, Ron kissed Hermione like they'd been apart for weeks, drying his hands on his pants, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, running his fingers up and down her spine.

"How are my girls today?" Stepping back slightly, he placed both hands on Hermione's belly and locked eyes with her; he'd adored Hermione for as long as he could remember, those amber eyes were chasms he got lost in every day, at least once he'd finally admitted it to himself.

"We are hungry and anxious. Is Rose packed?" Stomping feet made them both turn.

"I've been packed for weeks, Mum. Dad, have you seen August? I've looked everywhere but he's missing." Hermione took steps towards Rose, pointing to the window of the dining room where her stuffed cat was sitting on the table, looking as ratty as her other toys from childhood always had. Bright auburn and curly, Rose was every bit a Weasley. Tall, long-legged and pale, Rose looked more like her Aunt Ginny than Hermione, the only similarity was the curl of their hair.

"You'll miss me, won't you?" Hermione asked, pulling Rose into a tight hug.

"Of course I will and I want to be the first to see Winnie, after Dad, but before Granny and Grandma. They will see her all year while I'm away. " Rose planted a soft kiss on Hermione's cheek and ran off up the stairs to grab the rest of her items for school, leaving Hermione to stare and wonder how eleven years had passed so quickly.

"I still can't believe your father got that van. These aren't his first grandchildren going to Hogwarts." Hermione laughed as Ron pinched her bum, stirring the sauce for alfredo once more, transferring all the food to the comfy nook where they typically ate more often than not.

"You know how he is, he just wants us all together. Plus, Rose and Jamie are special to him, they're the ones who tinker with him the most." Kissing her softly once more, he pulled out her chair and they waited on Rose to come down so they could eat, all a tad melancholy that it was their last meal together for a while.

After dinner, all three sat together on the settee and watched a rerun of Graham Norton before retiring to bed, wherein they checked over Rose's trunk once more. Ron made sure to massage Hermione's lower back and then legs. There was a simple pleasure in knowing and loving someone so unconditionally, Hermione knew how lucky she was to have Ron. He wasn't perfect, he grated her nerves most of the time, but each time she'd been pregnant, he was attentive, kind, and took care of her as though she were the queen, even when things hadn't gone to plan, when they'd lost two children early in pregnancy, Hermione knew she could count on Ron for anything. She appreciated how kind he was, even when certain aspects of their relationship weren't always perfect.

Relaxed and almost asleep, Ron stuffed pillows around her, then played with her hair. He seemed to find an odd joy in twirling her curls, telling her he loved her and turning out the lights, every night like clockwork. Except this night, he'd lingered a while longer kissing her neck, tracing the memory of old habits, before they had Rose when their love was still new and they explored in the confines of the fourth floor of Grimmauld Place, in the room they still used when they stayed there. Turning in his arms the pillows flew away, and though took more effort than normal, Hermione pulled him closer, kissing him properly as her hormones were just as riotous as his, forcing her to practically beg for more, which wasn't typically her style. Taking charge, mostly because it was easier with her current body limitations, Hermione perched herself over him, caressing his face for a moment, then finding the hem of his pyjama pants, and easing one hand down. They rarely spoke, especially not when Rose was home, but as Hermione freed them both of the confines of their knickers and pants, Ron quickly cast a silencing spell because a moan omitted from Hermione that certainly would've woken their nervous eleven year old. it was moments as these that Hermione couldn't fathom loving her husband more, even if there were times they weren't perfectly suited, she knew that Ron would always be her sidekick, her biggest fan, and most importantly, the man who had chosen her.

The next morning in a hurry, they piled into the van as Arthur, Molly, Harry, Ginny, and the kids all talked of Hogwarts. Ginny was days from labor herself so she and Hermione lamented on their swollen feet and uncomfortable sleep. Albus complained about being squished between Rose and James, but everyone was quiet as they actually pulled into the station. It was bustling with people and the rare onslaught of trunks and creatures, all bound for a magical school in Scotland.

"You'll write? And make sure Jamie writes, too." Hermione held her daughter tight, soaking every second of that hug as she could knowing she would see her in a few weeks when Winnie was born, but still missing her as though she'd been gone for weeks.

"I will and you know he will, he can't wait to rub it in Alby's face that he's a first year on quidditch. We'll see, won't we James Potter. " Rose teased, giving her father a hug as well. Molly and Arthur saw Bill and Fleur's children off before making sure George and Angelina's made it as well. She didn't see Percy and Audrey's children, but they were often first left, so she didn't look too terribly hard for them. They were quite a sight, Hermione knew, all these Weasley grandchildren.

"Do you think they'll love it as much as we did?" Ginny asked, rubbing her stomach in copy of Hermione, worried about her eldest being gone.

"Surely, there's no dark lord trying to kill them." Harry joked, ruffling Albus' hair and placing an arm around Ginny as they watched the final students getting on the Hogwarts Express. Somehow it felt so different than when they were first years; these kids were going to Hogwarts during a time of peace and though there still existed some rivalry between the houses, it wasn't quite the same.

"We should get moving if we want to miss the traffic." Arthur interrupted, holding Molly's hand as they turned away, waving off their grandchildren. "We'll grab some lunch if everyone has time?" He added, smiling at them and for a moment Hermione felt like a child again, seeing Arthur's joy and feeling so included in his effervescence.

"I can't, unfortunately, paperwork and defense this afternoon. Snape'll hang me by my toenails." Hermione quipped, kissing Ron and walking to the apparition point beyond the station.

"Don't work too hard- I'll see you for dinner." Hermione stopped and looked at Ron, he seemed almost sad so she walked back to him and hugged him a second time, kissing him and trying not to think about her daughter already miles away from them.

"I love you, Mynee." She giggled, he hadn't called her that in years. Hand on her belly, Ron walked her over to the apparition point. "I love you more." Hermione replied and with another kiss, she was off to the Ministry.

SSHGSSHGSSHG

(Ron and Hermione before Rose was born)

"Ron, I have a bit of a surprise for you." Ron rounded the corner of the hallway in their newly purchased townhouse and found his wife completely nude, resting on the chest at the end of their bed. Her scars were gone; she exuded confidence like someone who'd just won a prize and he couldn't believe she was there, like that, waiting for though they'd purchased their own home, they stayed with Harry and Ginny far more often than at their own home. It still felt incredibly lonely when they were at the townhouse.

"How is this possible?" He asked, dumbfounded and so attracted to her, he could barely contain himself.

"Lavender happened. She'd invented a charm that only needs to be renewed every six months. It covers everything you don't want visible. So...here I am." She stood slowly and walked to him, knowing how difficult it had been for him to look at her after the final battle, when their love was still new and their comfort still being tested. She remembered how he'd looked upon her in pity and disgust the first time they'd been together, how it had hurt her far more than she let on in the moment because she'd just wanted someone to need her and he did. It got better, of course, when like most couples together for long periods of time, he memorized her body in the dark, was able to replace her self-hatred, the constant worry that her physical appearance was such a huge problem for Ron, and that no man would want her, especially if Ron didn't. Although she never expressed how deeply he'd hurt her, it definitely affected their intimacy for years until she finally gave in and decided to use glamours to hide her scars so that she didn't feel she repulsed her husband.

"So, is this more pleasing, Mr. Weasley?" Her voice was low, her arms on her hips as she stood to give him a better view. For the first time she could recall, she felt attractive and desired.

"Pleasing doesn't cover it." With only a few steps, Hermione was in his arms, securely wrapped against him, his desire evident, further emboldening Hermione into action as she undressed him and forced him on the bed.

"I aim to please."

SSHGSSHGSSHG

"Did you cry?" Seamus asked as soon as she walked into the office, taking her cloak off and smoothing her robes, feeling rather large navigating around their desks and rolling her eyes at Seamus before taking her seat and organizing her papers before sending an interoffice memo to Snape, wherever he was so they could make their eleven o'clock meeting with the small council of the Wizengamot for a preliminary hearing on their case. He finally sent her a short message back and she smirked, it felt like he was avoiding her, perhaps worried she was emotional and she knew he hated dealing with any emotion. She wrote back, 'I haven't cried, come to the office.' and he magically appeared a moment later with scones from the bakery around the corner.

"Lifesaver!" She exclaimed suddenly feeling her hunger.

"Don't be cheeky." His reply was terse but she could see the laughter in his eyes, begging her to jibe back, but instead she ate a scone and thought about the irony of her statement, as she had been the one to save him during the final battle. As quickly as the thought entered her brain, though, she pushed it away; remembering the blood and the gurgling of his attempts at speech made her stomach drop.

"Rose will be fine and you know she's a bloody Gryffindor, so you should remove that melancholy expression."

"I wasn't thinking of Rose, if you must know." Dusting off her robes and casting a charm to floss her teeth, Hermione stood with her papers and met Seamus at the door of their office, waiting to walk to lift. She met Severus' eye for a moment and with that one look, he understood that she'd been thinking of him and his near-death experience. She sighed heavily and walked with Seamus, hoping Rose was enjoying the train ride with her cousins and Ron wasn't too bored riding home with his parents, probably questioning him about Winnie's impending birth and what the plan was for Hermione's maternity leave. Since she'd quit working for a while after Rose was born, Molly assumed she would do the same again, but Ron planned to stay home this time as Hermione's career changed and it seemed that the Ministry was grooming her for position with more power and responsibilities. Although Molly thought it odd, Ron was really good with Rose and their nieces and nephews; Hermione loved them, but her patience was stretched thin when surrounded by all the Weasley grandchildren. Lost in thought as Seamus presented the initial findings of their case for thirty or so minutes, Hermione didn't even see Severus walk into the small council room, his face ashen, hands visibly shaking as he stepped towards her, stopping when Seamus saw him, and whispering to him before asking for adjournment.

"Why do we need to adjourn? I didn't even get to speak, Severus." Hermione pulled from his grasp as he gripped her elbow tightly, almost painfully, but she couldn't budge from his grip. Meeting his eyes as she tried again, she finally saw the pain in his eyes and what appeared to be the beginning of tears and it hit her, like the sting of crucio, something had happened, something was very wrong; Severus never cried or rather she'd only seen it once when he was dying and that image did nothing to calm her rising fear. Finally relenting, Hermione let him lead her from the room and to their offices, not saying a word, though as soon as they entered the lift, she saw Arthur's assistant crying and if for only a moment, she wished desperately that Snape would not tell her what had happened. Without another thought she buried her face in her hands, hiding her burgeoning tears from him; she never wanted to appear weak to Severus.

"Hermione, come here, I...we need to go to St. Mungos." Severus extended his hand, but Hermione refused to take it, instead she sat at her desk for a moment. "This is not a time to dally, we have to go now." The harshness of his voice shook her to the core, something terrible had happened, something she just wanted to avoid. She knew the looming anxiety was bad for the baby, so she tried to breathe but as though compelled by something otherworldly, Severus put his arms around her and lifted her to stand.

"Tell me, please, I don't want to go there if I don't know what to expect." Words weaker than she'd ever spoken left her lips. Was it Rose? Was it Ron and the family?

"There's been an accident, a lorry overturned...I don't know more than that, a note simply arrived from Albus Potter...we need to leave now." He held her tightly against him, both his arms around her shoulders as her tears dripped onto his frock coat. She felt all of her breath leave her as she almost passed out. In a flash, they were at St. Mungos, but Hermione was in a daze, as though her brain was trying to protect her and the baby, she didn't hear the commotion, the rapid movement of people in and around the emergency room, nor the healers telling her and Severus information about the Potters and Weasleys.

"Hermione, did you hear Healer Smythe? You need to go to Ron's room." Severus lifted her chin and saw, for the first time in ages, the girl he'd seen enter Hogwarts all those years before; her eyes were large, filled with tears and so much fear he couldn't stand to let her go. He helped her walk to Ron's room, finding him alone except for a healer in training, cleaning his face. For a moment, Hermione stopped, he looked completely normal, as though he were asleep, but she could see that there were only shallow vitals, so shallow she could barely register the tiny bleep of the heart monitor. Shaking Severus' arms off of her, she went immediately to his side and kissed his lips, smoothing his hair back and trying to see if there were any signs of life.

"Ron, please, I can't lose you...Rose needs you, I need you…" Her tears came in waves, dropping on his face but there was no reaction, he was simply there, barely breathing and completely unconscious. "Ron, I'm so sorry, I love you...I love you so much, please don't leave me." Lying against his chest, she heard a shallow heart beat, so few and far between she knew it was unlikely that her husband would survive. He looked fine, but when she looked over to the healer, she finally asked the question she didn't want to ask.

"What's happened?" The healer looked between Hermione and Severus, gauging what to say in the moment, knowing that another healer should be present.

"I will get Healer Smythe and we'll talk." The young healer in training left Hermione and Severus, but only for a moment as Hermione heard a screaming baby and looked to the door.

"Ginny?" It all hit her at once, everyone in the van would've been affected. It all became too much for her and she felt a wave of pain hit her, the same braxton hicks contractions she'd had with Rose, she knew the stress, fear, and sadness she was feeling was harmful for the baby, so she tried to breathe, to focus on Ron.

"Mrs. Weasley," "It's Granger," It felt such an insignificant thing to correct the woman before her, but Hermione was not thinking rationally.

"My apologies, your husband sustained severe internal injuries and blunt force trauma to the brain. I'm afraid there is no brain activity, the spells we put on him were to keep him comfortable to see if there was improvement and to allow you time." Hermione heard the words, but she couldn't register exactly what the healer was saying.

"Severus?" She reached for him, one hand still on Ron's cheek and the other in Severus', she cried so hard the bed shook. For his part, Severus didn't know what to do for her, he felt so far out of his element he could barely stand himself, watching his friend and colleague suffering so, feeling at a loss completely as to how to help her.

"Ms. Granger, your husband is in no pain, imagine that he's in a peaceful sleep." Hermione whipped her face towards the healer, anger topping all of her emotions before she heard the bleep of his heartbeat, slowing even more. He was slipping away.

"Rose? She's still on the train, she needs to say goodbye." She looked once more to Severus, but he shook his head. "It would be better for her to remember him as he was...she shouldn't see him like this, Hermione." Severus replied, thinking of his own mother's death and how watching her die changed him and the way he thought of her...he saw her final expression first whenever he chanced to think of his mother at all.

"Ron, please, I can't do this without you...I love you so very much, I'm sorry I was hard to live with, I never told you enough how much I love you...I'm sorry, Ron, I'm so sorry my career was more important than being home with you, with Rose...All the time I thought we'd have…there was never enough time and I asked you to stop being an auror, I'm sorry I took that from you but I was so scared. I didn't want to lose you and now I have, please, Ron, please don't leave me. I'm sorry I couldn't give more children, that we lost those boys, and you loved our Rose and I know you would've spoiled Winnie rotten...please forgive me, please don't leave me." She wiped her tears from his face, not cognizant of the room's inhabitants, it was just she and Ron for a moment. Closing her eyes, she remembered him from school, how his eyes lit up when they'd kissed the first time, how he'd been attentive to her for years, taking care of her and maturing more than she'd ever believed possible when they'd first married. Memories replayed over and over as her tears continued to fall, she continued to murmur how much she loved him, kissing his lips one final time, they were cold, he was cold, his heartbeat was becoming faint as she struggled to let him go. Finally remembering Severus was in the room, she turned to him, a broken woman and felt her vision blur.

"I can't do this…" Severus stepped closer to her, trying to help her take slower breaths, but he watched as she hyperventilated, lost her strength and fell against Ron, passing out from all the shock and stress. She awoke hours later in her own hospital bed, feeling heavily drugged and foggy, and noticed only that Severus was gone and so was Ron. There was pain, insurmountable pain and she blacked out again, her body giving in to the myriad of emotions and stress.

When Hermione woke the second time, she tried to understand her surroundings, but it all seemed too difficult to comprehend. She recognized the healer in training and tried to speak, the young woman walked over and offered her some water.

"Are you in pain?" The woman asked, Hermione finally registered that her name was Weston.

"Yes, what's happened? Where is Ron? Why am I here?" Hermione began to shake from the coolness of the room and shock, it was then she registered that she couldn't feel the baby moving. "My baby? What's happened?" Healer Weston stepped into the hallway for a moment and brought Severus into the room, Hermione immediately noticed he was wearing different clothes. He sat on the chair next to her bed and as she tried to face him, she felt the pain of what she assumed was falling.

"Is he gone?" She asked, tears falling as though there was an endless supply, and he nodded. "My baby?" She felt empty, the roundness of her belly somehow completely gone and replaced with a flabby nothingness. Without a word, Severus stood and pulled a curtain back, showing Hermione a cot where a tiny, redheaded baby, so much smaller than Rose had been was sleeping.

"She's small but very well considering. They said she will need to stay for a few weeks until her lungs are functioning better, but I can get the healer if you'd like to hold her." Severus motioned to the door, but Hermione didn't want him to leave just yet, she felt him the only normalcy for the moment and didn't want him to leave.

"Please, just tell me everything, I need to know what happened." He pinched the bridge of his nose and felt the weight of the everything, the deaths, the crash, having to tell someone he admired so much the terrible news. He recalled her pleading from the day before, how she'd laid bare her soul to her dying husband and he didn't want to contribute to that pain.

"Hermione, I really don't think now is the best time...there is some paperwork I need to bring you and we can speak then. Right now, you should rest and I'll get the healer so you can hold your daughter." But as he finished his sentence, Healer Smythe walked in with another baby.

"She doesn't know yet, she's only just woken." Severus snapped, pointing towards the door. His raised voice and caustic words scared Hermione, she couldn't process the scene or even fathom for a moment why the healer was carrying another baby into the room.

"It is my legal duty to bring her this child, Master Snape, as I told you earlier. She must assume responsibility as soon as possible." Hermione looked between them, raising herself up as the healer placed the baby in her arms.

"Ginny?" Hermione questioned Severus, he knew what she was asking as the baby was placed in her arms. She had red hair, darker than Ginny's but lighter than Ron's.

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter's will was read this morning, they named you and your former husband as guardians of their children should anything happen. Albus Arthur Potter is currently in the care of his uncle George Weasley, but as soon as you are well he will be your responsibility, as well as James Sirius Potter and this little one, Lily Luna." Blinking rapidly, Hermione didn't even try to hold back the tears. Shock filled her; Harry and Ginny were dead. Immediately, Hermione despised Healer Smythe again, her callous manner in telling her that her dear friends, practically her brother and sister were dead and that their children were now her own, and there would be no Ron to help her. She was now the mother of five children.

"Severus?" She reached for him, pulling him close as she cradled Lily in her arms. "Tell me." He sighed, sat on the edge of the bed next to her and ran his hand softly over Lily's soft hair.

"The accident might have been intentional, they are still investigating things. A lorry overturned, more than twenty people were killed," he paused, wanting so badly to leave the room, to avoid having to be the one to tell her everything, "Molly and Arthur were killed instantly, Ron and Harry suffered injuries that left them unconscious as far as doctors can surmise and they both slipped from life in their sleep, Ginevra went into labor, much like you from the shock, and then her injuries also claimed her. Fortunately, Albus walked away without a scratch, but he hasn't spoken since the accident. When you passed out in Ron's room, your blood pressure was so high they had to induce labor and Winnie was born late last night. I don't know what else to say, there are no words I can offer that you will comfort you, I am wholly unprepared to be a comforter...I…" For a moment she held her breath, everything they'd survived, the odds they'd beaten fighting Voldemort, it was all for nothing. Looking at Lily, whose eyes had opened momentarily, she felt as though she was looking right at Ginny, the same beautiful round face, the same eyes even though she didn't know for sure if they would be hazel or green like Harry's.

"It was all for nothing." She whispered, kissing Lily's sweet face and wondering how she was going to manage it all, it all felt too heavy. She'd lost everyone, everyone she loved aside from her daughters.

"Rose?!" Her eyes snapped to him and he bowed his head.

"You have a Gryffindor, one who would very much like to see you. She's been helping take care of Lily and Albus with George, Sinistra gave her leave until everything is settled...would you like her to come in now?" He offered to take Lily, but Hermione held her tightly.

"Yes and Jamie, is he here?"

"He is, would you like him as well?" He folded his arms, standing before her like he had so many times when she was a student and while they worked together in Magical Law Enforcement, awaiting a verdict or for her paperwork to be completed.

"Give me a minute with Rose first." He nodded and left. Hermione rocked Lily slightly, she had an immediate need to see Winnie, to compare them, to hold the last vestige of her husband in her arms. As Rose walked in, she motioned her over, patting the bed.

"Will you bring Winnie's cot over, love?" She watched Rose for signs of her grief and could tell immediately that she'd been crying; she'd lost her father, favorite aunt and uncle, and grandparents in one day. "I'm sorry you weren't the first to see her, I guess that was your Uncle George or Severus." Hermione peered over into the cot and her eyes filled again, Winnie had Ron's exact lips, the same peaceful expression of sleep but definitely her curls with his red hair. Next to Lily, they looked almost like twins, varying shades of red hair but still, so similar.

"I don't know what to say to you, poppet. I haven't even been cognizant enough to deal with this myself and suddenly, there are two new babies...did they tell you about the will?"

"Yes, I was there, Mr. Severus let me listen so I could be a witness and help. Alby hasn't even talked to me yet but Jamie has, he's upset but I think we are all in shock. There we were after the sorting ceremony and Jamie and I were so excited because we made Gryffindor and then Headmistress Sinistra came and took us to her office. We flooed here and Mr. Severus and Uncle George told us." Hermione was surprised at how well her daughter seemed to be handling the situation, but she knew there would be many emotions over the next days, weeks, months, and years.

"Has anyone alerted Grandma and Grandpa?" Suddenly, Rose's eyes met Hermione's.

"Yes, but they're having trouble getting here. Mr. Severus didn't want to leave to get them and for a while I guess there was no one who could. So I think Mr. Seamus is going later."

"Well, that'll be a relief, especially with these two." Hermione handed Lily to Rose and canceled the charm on Winnie's cot for a moment so she could reach in and take her tiny hand. "I wish she was going home with us, but they said they have to keep her until her lungs are ready." Rose rocked Lily gently as Severus appeared at the door with James and Albus. Hermione smiled at them, she knew it was time to be strong for these children who needed her desperately.

"Come here, boys." Hermione held her arms out and though she was still incredibly sore, she held them tightly to her, putting the spell back on Winnie's cot and smoothing each of their hair, so like Harry's unruly and soft.

"Mr. Severus has told you about the will?" She asked as Severus stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching the scene unfold from the outside, feeling like he shouldn't be there.

"Yes, Aunt Hermione, I was at the reading as well." James, who had always been more mischievous than his brother was solemn, leaned his head against her shoulder, looking at his new baby sister in Rose's arms.

"When we leave the hospital, we are going to Grimmauld Place. Your uncles George, Bill, and Percy will come and we'll have to plan things, I'm sure your Uncle Charlie will come but it might take him longer. It will be painful and I will understand if you want to get away, but please don't do anything rash. Our family has already survived so much loss and we will survive this, too, I promise. I only ask that if you feel overwhelmed or angry, talk to me or your uncles, let one of us know...and when you two go back to Hogwarts," she pointed at James and Rose, "you tell Professor Longbottom when you need a break or someone to talk to. He will take care of you, I promise." She pulled them closer, especially Albus as he began to cry. They were so young.

"I love you all and so did your parents, and you know Granny and Poppy would've moved heaven and earth to be here right now. Do you need anything right now? Have you eaten?" Hermione tried to think like Molly, to anticipate their needs like she would, but suddenly she felt overwhelmed and scared. She knew Lily would need feeding soon and would it be wrong to nurse her as she had Rose?

"If you're hungry, I'll walk you to the commissary." Severus offered, clearing his throat. He knew Hermione was about to crack, she'd been incredibly strong for the older kids but it was obvious she needed a break and to tend to the babies. Unfolding his arms, he motioned for the kids to follow him to get dinner and watched as Rose reluctantly placed Lily in Hermione's arms. When the kids walked out, Hermione met his gaze.

"Will you send the healer in with the paperwork, please?" Meekly, she asked, holding Lily tightly against her chest. "And thank you, for everything, I'm forever in your debt, Severus." He closed his eyes slowly, he'd never seen her so hurt.

"I think you'll find I am far more in your debt, Hermione." He turned quickly, leaving her no chance to respond. The healer followed swiftly as though she'd read Hermione's mind.

"These papers are for legal reasons, I apologize for the haste in which this must be done but as there's an investigation into the accident, the aurors who came were concerned about possible kidnapping. I realize how indecent this may seem at this time, but it must be done." Healer Smythe took Lily from Hermione so she could read through the papers. Papers concerning Grimmauld Place and Kreacher, temporary custody orders for James, Albus, and Lily, Gringotts access to accounts for their care, Ron's pension from his time with the Ministry, and lastly the release of their bodies. She signed them all, balking at the amount of money and thinking about her own home, what she would need to take to make things comfortable at Grimmauld Place. Handing the papers back, she took Lily in her arms and watched as the healer made copies for her and placed them on the counter.

"I…" The healer turned. "How have the girls been fed so far?"

"We have a storage of breastmilk for such occasions when a mother wants to nurse but cannot due to medical injury, so they've both had a few feedings. Your Master Snape fed Lily a few hours ago so she should be hungry soon and Winnie is being fed by healers because she's having trouble on her own with a bottle." Hermione nodded, taking in the information but not truly understanding, like most things that day.

"It's just, I feel…" Hermione didn't want to say she felt odd nursing her niece but at the same time, knew she needed nourishment.

"Do you want me to bring more milk?" Hermione looked into Lily's eyes and thought of Ginny, she knew that Ginny would do whatever it took to care for Rose or Winnie, even if it felt like a gray area in the moment.

"No, I just...will my medicine affect her, when I had Rose the wouldn't let me nurse for the first hours because they'd given me pain potion." Healer Smythe nodded, her face softening for the first time in their acquaintance, sensing that Hermione was struggling.

"The medicine we gave you has worn off, do you need me to send an obstetrics healer for nursing consultation?" Hermione smiled at Lily and then thanked the healer before watching her close the door, unbuttoning her gown and trying to remember how she nursed Rose all the years before. It took them both a moment to get situated but she felt her latch and then the familiar tug, forcing her eyes to fill again, it still hadn't really registered that her family was gone, that she was alone with these two babies. Roughly twenty minutes later she heard a knock at the door and saw Healer Weston come in to do a check up.

"We've kept them together in the cot because it always seems to help the smaller ones thrive. I'm going to cast a few spells on your Winnie and when Lily is ready, I'll take her so you can rest." She watched as the healer's wand changed different colors and recorded numbers on a chart near her paperwork. Preparing to switch sides, Hermione brought Lily up to burp and felt her sweet breath on her neck, instantly taking her back to sweet baby Rose, and when she positioned her again, she nursed a little longer but fell asleep, so she handed her off to the healer and reached for Winnie.

"They were born only nine hours apart. I know this is an impossible time, Ms. Granger, but these girls are little miracles." Hermione smiled, holding her daughter against her thighs, memorizing her tiny nose and mouth, trying to stop the flow of her tears as she thought about Ron, the first time they'd kissed, when he proposed, how happy he'd been when Rose was born, how he'd held her when they'd lost the two after Rose, his sweet smile in the morning, the pleasure of his embrace...all of it made her weep. How could she hold it together for the children? Her brothers-in-law who'd already lost so much?

She heard the door open again and tried to snap a button, seeing Severus walk in alone.

"They said you fed Lily, thank you." She stated through her tears, wiping them away before they could fall on Winnie, her tiny bundled body still cradled in the butterfly of her legs.

"It was a way to be useful." He sat cautiously in the chair by the cot, looking at Lily, the granddaughter and namesake of a woman he'd once loved so dearly.

"Where are the children?" She asked trembling, her tears still flowing incessantly. As he handed her a handkerchief she held his hand, unafraid and unwilling to let go.

"George and Bill took them to Grimmauld Place, we still have access as a safe house. They're concerned yours might be a target, even if it all pans out to an extremely unfortunate accident, they're being cautious. I will accompany you in the morning." She knew this wasn't comfortable for him, she could feel how tense he was, how desperately he wanted to get away.

"I'm sorry I must lean on you. I'm sorry you have to see me like this, Severus, I'm…"

"Grieving. You are beyond distraught and if I can help, I will. Do not apologize to me again." His tone frightened her, as though she was about to be given detention and he sensed it immediately. "I'm sorry, please don't cry over my ineptitude, Hermione…" She lifted Winnie as she heard tiny grumblings of fuss and showed him her scrunchy face.

"I will shed thousands of tears for a great while to come, I'm sure, but I know that I have to care for these girls and myself, poor Alby. I have no idea what to do with a boy, I've only a girl until now and Alby is far more sensitive than Rose has ever been." The Healer bustled in again as Winnie fussed and wanted to be changed and fed. Hermione realized she needed the loo as well but didn't know how much strength she had to walk. Wiping her eyes with his handkerchief, she watched the Healer change both girls into clean nappies and rebundle them. Lily loosed an arm and touched Winnie, as though to comfort her.

"I've sent Seamus to collect things from your house, things that should be kept safe in case this is more than coincidence. Is there anything in particular you would like?" Hermione turned her eyes from the girls to Severus, taking in his appearance and wondering how he was dealing with everything. He'd known Molly and Arthur since he was but twenty years old, he'd taught all of them, protected Harry for years, and for the first time she noticed him staring at the girls, as though he was remorseful.

"Yes, my beaded bag, it's everything I would ever need, on my nightstand."

"You still have that?" His voice almost quivered, as though he didn't understand why she would feel insecure enough to have her bag from the war still stocked. He remembered vividly when she pulled medicines from her bag to save him, even in the haze of his impending death, he could recall the beaded bag as though he'd seen it everyday of his life.

"Some things you can't leave behind." It was then she realized she was still holding his hand. "Are you alright?" Squeezing his hand, she fought tears again.

"You shouldn't worry about me, you've enough to deal with right now." She dropped his hand as though it burnt her and folded her arms, realizing her gown still wasn't completely buttoned and averted her eyes. She felt like she was under a microscope, that every move she made played out to him in bright bold letters. The paranoia made her skin crawl and brought back moments of terror, Bellatrix LeStrange torturing her at Malfoy Manor, Dobby dying at Shell Cottage, kissing Ron in the Chamber of Secrets. Shivering, she closed her eyes tightly and tried to calm herself down.

"Well I need the loo, could you ask the healer to come back?" Hermione felt her hormones fluctuating, her desire to run from him and shut everyone out far more powerful than any other emotion, so she turned on the bed and put her legs over, waiting for the healer to come. When she finally walked through, Hermione stood on wobbly legs, blood rushing down them as she stepped, making her thankful Severus had stayed outside.

"We've let you sit too long, I'm afraid. Let's have a shower? You'll feel better." Hermione nodded but said nothing as Healer Weston helped her to the toilet, then the shower, washing her hair and running her fingers through it as her Mum had for years when she was a child. In a clean gown and fresh socks, Hermione laid back in bed, clean sheets and one hand in the cot, touching each of the girl's tiny feet.

Hours later, when she was finally asleep, Severus came back to check on her, even in sleep she looked fitful. The healer had obviously helped her to shower because her hair was plaited and she smelled of jasmine. Turning his attention to the girls, he noticed Winnie had freed her tiny hand from the wrap and was touching Lily's face, just as Lily had done earlier. He'd never loved babies, the only one he'd ever been around for any length of time was Draco Malfoy and that had been ages ago. Though he'd helped feed Lily earlier in the day, he didn't quite know how to hold them correctly or keep from feeling as though they were glass. With one last look at Hermione, Severus left the room to the healers and apparated to Grimmauld Place where his usual room was waiting. His sleep was fitful as well and though he knew the next week would be arduous, all he could think of was Hermione's face, how forlorn and desperate she looked until one of the girls was placed in her arms, then he saw some of the old spirit. He thought on it a while longer and then slipped into sweet sleep waking before sunrise and washing quickly so he could escort Hermione home.

*I promise I have not killed the Weasleys/Potters in vain- there is actually a plot line in hooks to achieve from the grief. I apologize in advance for mischaracterization of anyone you recognize- this is simply my idea of what they would be like after the war