Time to Realize

Okay, so this is my first FF9 fic, and I hope it's not too bad. Also, this is shonen-ai (boy in love with another boy) but nothing happens, it's just some thinking.

The fic revolves around Blank. It's him thinking about Zidane during 'the game'. But I played the game in the French PAL version, so I'll use the French names, 'cause I think they're cuter.

So: Djidane Zidane, and Frank Blank

Hope it won't confuse you or anything, and hope you enjoy reading this

Again, thanks to Aelys, because she found the title, since I lacked inspiration

Disclaimer: FF9 and it's characters aren't mine, and will never be (sadly). I am not making any money with this; I just borrow them to write down what my strange mind has come to think about…

I can't remember how it all started. It may sound stupid, but one day, I just realized I was in love with him.

Mind you, who wouldn't be? Djidane's just got that cute everything about him that draws people's attention. I think he never noticed, though. Or simply didn't care. He's never been the 'I wanna be famous' type. And I have known him for so long…

Everyone thinks he's carefree, maybe immature, but he's not. It's only an act. Being serious doesn't suit him anyway. He's cute being just…himself. He does get all closed up and silent sometimes though. I'll never forget the day I found that out.

Flashback

Frank went down the harbour, looking for his best friend Djidane. The young blond had been unusually quiet and closed to the others, recently. Even to him.

He found his friend gazing at the sea, silently, as ever. Djidane didn't make any move as to let his friend know he was aware of his presence.

Frank wasn't exactly worried. Djidane had already told him about wanting to know where he came from, and his memory of flashing blue. Probably, this was just another time when he really thought about it.

Frowning at his friend's silence, Frank moved to leave when Djidane finally spoke.

"Don't…go. Please stay."

Frank nodded and walked back to stand beside his friend.

"Do you ever get the feeling you're all alone in a dark room?"

Then Frank got a bit worried. Djidane's voice, just like his eyes was full of sadness. He understood that maybe he didn't really know his friend after all…

Djidane started to shiver, though he couldn't be sure if it was because of the chilling wind that softly blew, or for another reason. He didn't know what to tell him…Maybe he wasn't expecting any answer…maybe he was afraid to answer.

But his body moved on his own, and Frank found himself drawing his friend in a warm embrace. The words, too, were out before he could think them over.

"I'm here for you. I'll always be."

Djidane raised his head, and smiled, before returning the embrace, and whispering

"I know."

End flashback>>>

Come to think about it now, maybe that's when I started to feel totally different about him…

The thing I know for sure is that I never liked the idea of kidnapping the princess of Alexandria. But the Boss told us to do so, so all there is to say is that we did it. Not following the plan, but the results were positive.

Sorry, I'll have to change that statement. Crashing the Prima Vista into the Evil Forest isn't exactly the happy ending we were supposed to have in Lindblum.

And that princess got kidnapped. Not by one of us, no. By a plant. And he was cutting off with the Tantalus to go and save her.

And I, found myself hating her, though it wasn't like she actually did anything.. So I waited for him by what had become the door. I had to know.

"You really like her don't you?"

The word sounded more harsh than I had intended, but I brushed that thought away as he sighed and shook his head.

"Frank, you know I can't leave a woman all alone if she's in danger."

It hurt me. I never told him, and I never will, but back then, his kindness hurt me.

As he left, I felt jealousy for the first time of my life. Let's just say I would have given anything for it to be the last time, too. But it was only the first of many to come.

I guess I must have shown too much concern and disappointment, 'cause the Boss soon sent me to catch up with them, so they'd have a map.

I remember forgetting my jealousy at the thought of being with him again, if only to be sure nothing happened between him and the princess.

Then I got petrified. Literally, along with the whole forest. Saving him, but petrified nonetheless. I still managed to give him the map though. But I think I'll never thank Markus enough for getting me out of there. Great guy.

Didn't give me any time to rest though…Dji got himself in troubles again. Well, more like she got him in troubles again, but the point is Markus and I ran all the way to Alexandria and saved them.

I'll never forget his look when he saw me. I was glad for the distance, though, because I'm sure I was blushing. Instead, I grinned and told him to 'get the hell outta here'.

I didn't get to see him for a long time after that. He went to the Outside continent. I had things to do of course, with rebuilding Lindblum, but I still found a way to miss him.

When Cina told me he was back, I felt like I could finally breathe again –and that's no overstatement.

But he wasn't how I would have expected him to be: grinning and dying to tell us everything about the other continent. Not at all. He was just silent, gazing intently at something that didn't exist.

The worst happened when Ruby actually told me why he was so silent. I can still hear the words that turned me into a cold jerk.

"He's heartbroken, Frank. The princess is going to be queen…poor Djidane's been like this ever since he came back."

I nodded, and went to my spot, lying my back on the bar.

Benero came in at that moment, closely followed by Senero –or was it the opposite?

"Djidane! What's up? That's not like you!"

"Yeah! What's happened?"

One day, I'll have to ask them why do they always wave and shake their arms in the air like madmen when they talk.

Djidane didn't answer, and kept ignoring everyone. I don't know what came over me –jealousy, maybe? But that's when I acted like a total jerk.

"Maybe he got dumped by a certain Dagger?"

He looked up for the first time then, and I would have preferred him not to. I'll never forget the hurt look in his eyes, as if I had betrayed him. Maybe I did. He was expecting me to be his friend and just don't ask about this, and I had let my feelings control me and make me hurt him.

I looked away uncomfortably, and gladly welcomed Ruby's offer to visit her theatre. I may have been a coward, but avoiding him was the only thing I could do. To see him depressing over her was something I just couldn't stand.

But I hoped that with Garnet as the new Queen and the Black Mages army gone, we would finally be at peace. He wouldn't have to leave anymore, and possibly –hopefully— get over her.

But she found a way to get in troubles, again, and he left to save her, again, and I found myself getting jealous, again. Only this time, he didn't make it out safe and sound. He stayed unconscious for a few days, and that's when I understood it was more than just an infatuation.

That's also when I understood he wouldn't be back as soon as I would have wanted him to be.

So I tried to find a way to stay close to him, and that's how I became the pilot of he Blue Narcissus. Okay, I didn't get to spend much time with him, but I did get to see him more often, and that's what mattered.

After all, the 'quest' wouldn't last forever, would it? One day it would end, and he'd be back. I just had to be patient.

But the day seemed to never come, until eventually, they came back. But it wasn't as I had imagined…wanted it to be.

He wasn't there. And they didn't know where he might be.

That was a year ago, and a year is all it took me to realize I was in love with him. I'm sure he'll be back. He's not the kind of guy to get his friends worried for years. At lest I hope so. He better be back soon, 'cause else I'm going to find him, and if I do find him, he'll wish that I never did, because I'll make him pay for the worries he gave me and the others.

I wonder where he could be though…right now, I need him more than ever.

"Hey Frank, how ya doin'? I mean, come. There's a surprise for ya."

Markus is a great guy. He knows how I feel about Dji, and that never changed the way he behaved towards me. Plus, he's tried a few times to raise my spirit. Heck, even Cina tried to! That was scary, might I add.

"What's the surprise?" I don't think he'll answer…

"Come and see for yourself."

Bingo. I don't like this, and I don't like his grin, and he's worrying when he grins, and—

Markus slaps me on the back and sends me in a room, closing the door behind me. I swear, Markus' slaps could kill a man and—

"Hi Frank! Long time no see…"

"Djidane…!"

Have I ever mentioned how cute he is when he grins? I can't fight a grin of my own.

"Welcome back."

Maybe, just maybe…I'll tell him…

End

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