Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable. The characters and events of the Twilight series belong to people much better off than I.

Summary: After the events of Phoenix, Bella struggles to resume her 'normal' life. But all things change and when Bella is turned unexpectedly, she must rediscover who she is and where she stands. (B/J)

Notes: This is unbeta'd and my first published fic on this site. Any errors are my own. I also have not ready the Twilight books since they first came out, so assume any inconsistencies are just me making things even more AU. Secondly, this fic is about 75% completed. Unless real-life interferes, I should be keeping to a schedule of posting a chapter a week. Finally, this fic is not terribly plot heavy, instead being an exploration of what the change from human to vampire might be like for our leading lady.

Prologue: Victoria

They killed him.

The man I had spent ages with, the man I had looked to spend ages more with, who had always given me the strength to stand firm in the face of forever - that man is gone. Torn to pieces and set on fire like some disobedient newborn. Even though I hadn't been there to witness his demise, every time I close my eyes I can almost see his beautiful face turning to ash in those flames.

They killed him.

They killed him and now I am alone.

As I run, I can feel the blood that drenches me sliding down my face and falling to the ground behind me. All I've been doing since I realized what has happened was eat. I eat and eat and eat. I'm not careful - I let the blood of my meals soak into my clothes and my hair as I drain the fools slowly. Their screams as they die echo the screams I am letting loose inside my head. Only there are brief and mine will never stop for all of eternity.

I am alone.

I am alone and I cannot stop the screams in my head.

They must pay. HE will pay. But I cannot allow myself to formulate any plans or plots. I will decide nothing so they do not see whatever it is my revenge will be until it is too late. For now, I run to the soundtrack of screams in my head and leave a trail of blood and carnage behind me. Eventually, my path will take me to my revenge, and then I will find peace.

I am alone, but James, I will not let go without sharing this endless grief and regret with the fool who killed you.