AN: Hi! *waves* I won't say much other than that it's told through Carter's pov. It's AU since she lives.

Elaine, I seriously love you for putting up with me. I just randomly send you stories all the time without warning and you always give me quick feedback or proof it at lightning speed. Your advice is invaluable and I appreciate your friendship and support XOXOX

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just like thinking up things for these two.

Two steps forward and one back was a consistent theme in her relationship with John. From adversaries to allies and friends, to being avoided like the plague because John couldn't reconcile everything that she had done to help him with Donnelly. But they fixed that; fixed them. So then it was growing closer to becoming best friends and leaning on John to help her find justice for Cal by bringing HR to its knees, to only wind up getting shot in the chest. It had taken Joss months to recover and John had been there every step of the way even though he had been recovering from his own gunshot wounds. He even let her use him as her own personal snot tissue when she cried. He had been her rock, her anchor, and her voice of reason when her expectations didn't quite meet reality.

Their kiss in the morgue hung between them. John looked at her differently; she looked at him just as differently. How could she look at him as just her friend, best friend, when she couldn't seem to stop craving his kiss, his touch? Their relationship changed again. They went from adversaries to allies to friends, to best friends, and then lovers. And it had been amazing; John was amazing. He was gentle, giving, loving, rough, and tender at the same time. Joss never felt loved and ravished at the same time before. It was something she never had and didn't want to live without.

Then all hell broke loose. John reluctantly disappeared, after bidding her a tearful farewell, and reappeared with a new alias and occupation given to him from the machine to save his life. Joss almost laughed when he introduced himself as a narcotics detective, and then almost cried when he pretended that they were virtual strangers. Her heart had clenched to have to pretend that she never kissed those lips, never felt his touch, and never meant anything to him. The machine played with her too; giving her a promotion to Captain of the 8th precinct so that a spot was open in her precinct for John to become Fusco's partner.

So she went from being his best friend and lover, to his boss. It was a tough adjustment for them both. John had no damn clue how to color in the lines of the law and she hated having to control him. It wasn't the partnership they always had and something she had coveted. Joss mourned the loss of them as if it was a deceased loved one because getting back what was torn from them was much harder with Samaritan watching their every move. Not to mention John was distant and cold, trying his damnedest at keeping her at arms' length because he wanted to protect her. But she hadn't wanted his protection, she merely wanted him.

And she got him too. John had come to her after Shaw was lost to them; looking broken and wild. Rough sex ensued and she simply held him as he cried afterwards. Cried for the loss of a friend, for the loss of them, and from the stress that he was beginning to strain under, afraid he was going to crack; she simply whispered empty platitudes in his ear as she rocked him in her arms. John was the bravest and most courageous man she ever known. If anyone could bend and not break from everything that was heaped upon his shoulders it was John.

Afterwards they snuck around conducting their relationship in secret; a stolen moment here and a stolen moment there. If anyone found out she was fucking a Detective that was in her own precinct then there would be consequences. Interoffice romance was frowned upon, especially between a Captain and a Detective, even if the said Detective wasn't really one but no one knew that but them.

So they went from adversaries to allies to friends to best friends to lovers to co-workers, to romantic co-workers. Their relationship had evolved and changed as much as the situations and obstacles in their path did. But one simple thing remained the same through all of their upheavals; the fact that they always found their way back to each other. And Joss held onto that fact at this very moment.

Samaritan was destroyed. Decima was obliterated. Shaw was found, clearly a little off, and working the numbers again with the machine that was saved. Root hadn't survived the showdown with Samaritan, protecting Finch, and the machine took on her voice. Fusco was safe and sound; he now knew about the machine too. Finch was in Italy to be with Grace because he was done saving the world. Shaw needed to work the numbers still because she needed the action and the thrill. It was also a way to be close to Root or at least Root's voice.

But John was missing after saving the world as they knew it. She refused to believe he was dead. Finch told her everything and she knew there was a million to one chance that he survived being surrounded by Samaritan agents and the missile strike. But John would be the one. He had to be. She refused to believe he was gone. She would feel it. Surely she would know that the man she loved was dead. Her heart would be shattered into pieces with no hope of ever being whole again.

Her mind instantly conjured up their last conversation;

"I need you to know, Joss, that if it comes down to my life for Finch's I will give mine up. I have to protect Finch. The machine and I have an agreement."

"That's fine. I can't change who you are, John; you'll always protect everyone else but yourself; so protect Finch, save the world, but come back to me."

His eyes grew soft. "I want too; I want a normal life with you. I love you, Joss."

"I love you too, John; promise me you'll come home after all of this is over."

"Joss I can't promise…"

"Promise me! By god, promise me you will come back to me so we can finally be together or I will follow you and we'll die together bringing Samaritan down."

"Joss…" he snarled in anger.

"Promise me!" she snapped.

"You have my word," he growled.

"I'm holding you to that." she whispered as she tugged him down for a kiss.

Joss shook the reverie away as she lied on her side on her bed, tears still falling as she clutched his suit blazer to her chest. "John, you promised," she whispered to herself.

Her cell rang and she instantly rolled onto her back to reach for it. Her heart began to pound as it was an unknown number. She answered it immediately. "Hello," she whispered raggedly.

"Hi Joss," the machine spoke in Root's voice.

"Is he alive?" she asked with a wobbly voice.

"You don't beat around the bush."

"Is he alive?" she repeated angrily.

"Yes; he's in stable condition. John sustained several gunshot wounds which required multiple surgeries once the staff was sure he would survive through them, and there will be future surgeries too."

Joss closed her eyes as she sobbed. The machine grew quiet and gave her a moment. She didn't care if he had one leg or was paralyzed; he was alive. "Oh thank god," she whimpered.

"God had nothing to do with his surviving. I think you humans call it stubbornness."

Joss swallowed the sob that wanted to make it out as she sat up as she let out a half laugh, almost forgetting that the machine was an artificial intelligence. "Thank you for saving him."

"I care for John too, Jocelyn."

"I know you do," she whispered. "Where he is?"

"He is currently listed as John Doe at Mount Sinai St. Lukes. I sent in assets with the only objective to make sure John was secured; once I knew when and where everything would take place. I do apologize that I took so long to let you know that he made it, but I wanted to make sure he would survive before I got your hopes up."

Joss nearly snapped that she wanted to have known regardless if he wouldn't have made it. But the machine was still an artificial intelligence. It didn't know any better. "I have to get to him. Thanks for letting me know," she said sincerely.

"Do you need me to call you a taxi?"

"No I can drive myself," she assured the voice. And with that she hung up with the machine. For the first time since all went quiet with John; she smiled. She tugged his shirt she was wearing off and knew she needed a shower. She had been slumming it while she wallowed in her misery, waiting for word on John's fate; surely John would scream in fright if he saw her right now.

Joss ran around her bedroom and bathroom, telling herself she waited eight days to see him again, that another extra twenty minutes to make herself presentable wasn't going to hurt, but she took the quickest shower in her life before tugging her clothes on over wet skin. She frowned a bit at how baggy her skinny jeans felt; she needed to gain a few pounds she lost back. But she hadn't felt like eating. How could she when she didn't know if her soulmate survived or not?

She raced around her living room to finally be ready to go to John. "I'm coming John. We have forever that you promised me," she whispered to herself and with that she rushed out of her place, started her car and pulled away from the curb to head to her future.

AN: I have been advised that this ending is not satisfactory so part 2 will be coming soon. This was just a culmination of what I was thinking of what could have happened had they never killed Joss off and still kept everything that they show did still the same except for that change.

Thanks for reading!