The (Mis)Adventures of Doggycard

Sapphirewyren

Chapter 1: The Dog Park Conundrum

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing

Author's Note: Here is another series, aren't you happy? You're welcome. Now enjoy.

Doggycard padded into his master's office and dropped a leash onto the large desk. "Master I want to go on a walk."

"Go ask Walter."

"I want you to walk me."

"I'm busy."

The large black dog's head drooped. Damn that paperwork! Doggycard had to find a way to get rid of it. So he jumped up on the desk and plopped down on the papers.

"Alucard! What the hell are you doing?"

"Since you are not busy now, you can take me to the park."

"No."

"Please?"

"Fine, I'll take you to the park, but no eating the other dogs."

"I'll on my best behavior."

Integra had high doubts about that. When they reached the park, there were already several dogs there. Integra took the leash off Doggycard's collar. "Remember what I said, play nice."

"Yes, Master."

Integra watched Doggycard romp with a couple other dogs for a couple of minutes before she felt it was safe to takes her eyes off him and read the book she had bought with her. It seemed like everything would be fine until she felt a pair of eyes on her. Integra glanced up and sighed, the person staring at her was a blond woman who wearing a light blue tube top, a white vest made of some animal fur, a blue and white plaid mini skirt, and blue pumps. Her expensive jewelry matched her ensemble. In her arms, the woman held an expensive designer bag and a Papillion dog. "Excuse me, is this your dog?" the woman asked in a nasally voice. Integra looked at the dog that the woman was motioning to. Doggycard was muzzle deep up her skirt. Integra rolled her eyes; "That's how dogs get to know other dogs."

"Are you saying I'm a dog?"

"I'm saying I think it's wise if you invest in a pair of pants."

"Control your mutt or I'll call animal control on you!"

Doggycard poked her butt with his nose, which made the woman yelp and nearly drop her dog. Integra went back to reading her book, this was the exact reason why she stopped wearing skirts a long time ago. "Alucard get your nose out of her ass, you don't know what's been in there."

"Excuse me! I am a classy woman!"

Integra snorted; "Classy is not a synonym of strumpet." The woman huffed; "I will call the Constable for this rude behavior!" and she stormed off. Integra chuckled, the joke was on her, the Constable was afraid of the young Hellsing director because Doggycard ate his dog. Finally she was able to get back to her book, just then a high pitched voice of a little girl said; "Mummy, what are those two doggies doing?" Integra glace over the top of her book, it was just two dogs mating, completely natural…..wait…that's Alu…Integra dropped her book, sprinted over to the two dogs and football tackled Alucard. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

She dragged the large black dog by his collar. "But master, she made advances towards me. She said she wanted me."

"I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS WHAT SHE WANTED! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO KEEP YOUR DICK TO YOURSELF!?"

Integra dragged Doggycard back home, while the people in the park just stared at the spectacle. That was the last time she was taking him to the park. She didn't even want to think what happened with female dogs, whenever Walter took him.

"Damn it, I left the book at the bloody park."

Chapter End