BBRae Week 2017, day 1 - Pining

Author's Notes: At first I had only one story ready for BBRae Week 2017, because I don't usually react well to prompts. But I managed to wring two more out of my imagination, and I will be presenting them in the order they appear on Tumblr.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. Wowzers, whatta surprise.

-=oOo=-

Two weeks.

It's been two cursed weeks since he's been gone. Two weeks since Robin sent him to Steel City so he could lend a helping hand against an uptick in crime over there, while things in Jump were getting uneventful to the point of being boring.

Which gave her a lot of time for thinking, and moping, and pining.

Not that they were dating. Or going out. Or seeing each other. Or having a… thing. Or whatever you would call a normal romantic relationship between two teenagers desperately in love with each other.

Of course they weren't. It was stupid to even think about it. She was anything but normal. It's not like she could have a romantic relationship with anyone, let alone inflict herself on him. She had to keep her feelings hidden from him, and from the others.

But of course, all of that didn't mean she didn't miss him terribly. Miss the sound of his voice, the green of his eyes, the flash of his grin. Yearn for the comforting, calming, almost overwhelming tide of love that flowed into her every time he was near. How in Azar's name was he able to stir everything up in her and yet calm her down?

She groaned, exasperated and irritated by him for being impossible even when he wasn't around.

The first week wasn't so bad. She could find some solace in Kori's bubbly joyfulness, and the Tamaranean did have a knack for pulling her mind away from her predicament by forcing her to take part in all sorts of girly activities. But then she was also called away on an assignment, leaving behind a dour, brooding Robin whose emotions, as suppressed and controlled as they were, still resonated with her own and made everything even worse.

Unsurprisingly, Cyborg wisely decided to spend most of his day tinkering with his baby and avoiding the other two snappish, cranky and petulant superheroes. To be fair to him, he did try to liven things up for them at first, but he was immediately caught in a murderous crossfire of cantankerous and irascible reactions. He decided to let Nature have its course and melted into the shadows, becoming almost unseen and unheard, an impressive achievement for a six-foot-eight mountain of clanking titanium.

That left her sharing the Tower mostly with her own loneliness. The one she always desired and treasured, the one he would always break and steal away from her, the one she could never keep sacrosanct while he was around.

A frustrated growl escaped from her throat. She couldn't bear the oppressiveness of her room any more. The privacy it offered was welcome, but its confining walls were becoming restricting like a prison's; she couldn't stand being in it a minute longer.

She phased to the roof, seeking to maintain her solitude in less claustrophobic surroundings, but she immediately felt Richard's presence and saw him sitting on the ledge, his legs crossed, head down and shoulders slumped.

She sighed, for a moment thinking of turning around and seeking a different spot for her own moping. But they shared a mental and emotional bond and he had probably already sensed that she was there. Making up her mind after a slight hesitation, she floated over and sat beside him in lotus position, draping the cloak around her against the cool, tangy night breeze.

They sat quietly for a long while. The silence between them was comfortable, the sounds of her cloak rustling in the wind and the distant murmur of the surf below gentle and reassuring. Longing flowed from him and mingled with her own, making it sweetly painful, brushing away her constant efforts to ignore it.

A shooting star tore a gash in the black velvet of the sky. It made her break the silence.

"Thinking about Kori?"

She couldn't see his wan smile, but she could feel it.

"She'll be back soon," she tried to offer what little encouragement she had.

The smile turned into a silent chuckle. "I know. Doesn't make it any easier."

She looked at him closer, only then realizing his mask was held crumpled in his fist. She lifted an eyebrow and allowed some sarcasm into her voice.

"The Fearless Leader of the Titans behaving like a lovesick puppy. How about that!"

His smile widened at her needling and it made him lift his gaze finally and look at her. His piercingly blue eyes were sorrowful and… understanding.

She felt the blood rush to her face, realizing he knew. She lifted the hood over her head to hide herself in its depths.

He chuckled quietly again. "Won't work, Rae. I can feel you."

She cursed herself. She should've remained quiet. But she just had to prod him, and now he had dodged her verbal jab and was ready to deliver his own counterstrike against an overbalanced opponent, just like in real combat.

"Gar will be back soon, too, you know," he said with a smirk.

She tried to wrap the cloak tighter around her. "I guess he will," she said neutrally, not wanting to show him that his blow hit dead center, even though she was aware he could sense it.

"You miss him, don't you?"

She clenched her fists under the cloak, still careful not to allow anything to show outwardly, still fully conscious that the gesture was useless and irrelevant.

"Why would I?" she rasped.

She felt his hand touch her arm. "Rae…"

She huddled into the soft indigo fabric of her armor. She had a very good idea of what he was about to say, and she didn't want to hear it. Easy enough to avoid; all she had to do was get up and leave. Float away. To the shore below, to her room, anywhere. He would not follow. She could avoid the topic. Escape it, hide from it, refuse to discuss it.

But she was chained, nailed, welded to the spot. Something in her overpowered any resistance and forced her to listen.

"I hate seeing you like this, Rae. Both of you. You should do something about it already."

"I… I can't…" she tried to fight it, the arguments she couldn't force through her throat weak and unconvincing even to herself.

"Of course you can!" he said, his voice now serious. "You know what you feel, and you know what he feels, too. And I don't have to share a bond with you or to be an empath to know it myself."

For all her distress, she couldn't help but smile at his words. "Are we that obvious?"

Another chuckle came from him, this time not so quiet. "You both may think you're hiding it well, but it shines through you so much that we would have to be blind not to see it."

She squeezed her eyes shut, certain that her blush was illuminating the dark insides of the hood. "But he…"

The smirk returned to his face. "Oh, if you think he doesn't know, you're mistaken. Don't forget how sensitive his nose and his ears are. He can smell it and hear it on you. He knows, Rae. He just doesn't have the courage to do anything about it."

She frowned, suddenly annoyed. "So why don't you prod him instead of pestering me? Forgive me for sounding like Kori, but isn't it the accepted tradition on this planet that it's the male the one who should take the first step? Why me?"

His face became serious again and the sorrow in his eyes deepened. "Because you are the one with the doubts. Because you are the one that's constantly seeking out his company and then pushing him away. Because you are confusing him, and…"

Her head bent down.

"And I'm hurting him," she finished in his stead, her voice hoarse.

He nodded. Silence descended around them again.

She finally shook her head. "No, Richard. I can't. My power –"

"Oh, please, don't give me that crap!" his voice lashed at her suddenly, cutting her off, the cold tone startling her as if he had slapped her. "Have you ever even tried?"

"I don't need to try!" she sneered back furiously. "I've seen what my unchecked power can do! And so have you!"

He scowled at her, then looked away, over the dark sea. She pushed her anger and fear down, breathing steadily and rhythmically, as she was taught so many years ago.

Closing her eyes, she focused on her center, whispering her mantra until she reached peacefulness and balance, the longing she felt for Garfield's presence confined for the moment to a dull ache in a corner of her heart. Richard's calm and controlled emotions helped. He seemed to be holding himself in check, not letting his feelings out on purpose, probably because he knew that they could unsettle her. He could be such a dear when he wanted to. No wonder Kori fell in love with him so quickly.

He glanced at her, noticing her face relaxing into its usual, expressionless mask, feeling the calm and peace wash over her soul. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, but he crushed the feeling quickly. Raven needed his help, and she was going to get it, willing or not. But for that to work, she must be unaware of his plotting.

"Do you mind answering a question?" he asked her, startling her a bit. "It's somewhat personal, so if you don't want to tell me, I'll understand."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "It's difficult for the two of us to be anything but personal, considering what we share. What did you want to know?"

He allowed himself to smile now. "I was wondering, what attracted you to Gar in the first place?"

"Is that what 'somewhat personal' means?" she asked with a crooked smile, then her eyes went to the horizon as she thought about her answer. "It's difficult to say. There is a certain amount of physical attraction, of course…"

"You mean he's handsome?"

She glared at him. "If I ever even suspect that you told him I said that, I'll have both of you turning on a spit in the Third Pit of Hell!"

He lifted an appeasing hand. "My lips are sealed forevermore!" he said in a mockingly grave tone. "But certainly there's more to him than being green and handsome."

"Of course there is!" she said with a generous dose of annoyance in her voice. "He does have nice eyes, and his smile is so… sweet. Especially with that fang of his poking out."

Richard watched her, part of him amused, part of him amazed at the taciturn, reserved and fiercely private sorceress opening up.

"But it wasn't what attracted me to him," Raven continued, then shot him a sly glance. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Consider it… icing on the cake."

"What is it, then? What's the main reason?"

Her gaze turned back to the juncture of black ocean and starry sky, her eyes focusing inwards.

"He is caring, loyal, selfless…" she said, her voice trailing off as her mind drifted away. Her hand went up and lowered the hood. She shook her head, loosening up her hair, then sat still for a few moments. Richard waited, sensing the flood rising.

Her hand grasped his. Her luminous, violet eyes turned to look at him.

"He is full of love, Richard. He… There is so much warmth and care in him. He can give so much. And the only thing he asks in return is to be respected for what he is, and a few kind words. He is starved for love, thirsty for gentleness, aching to feel a tender hand. And he gives out all his love without question, without reserve, without doubts. He is… so…"

She swallowed, trying to open up a constricted throat. The grip of her hand became painful, her nails digging into Richard's palm. She squeezed her eyes shut and continued in a hoarse voice.

"I never wanted to do this to him. I never wanted him to fall for me. He deserves someone… someone else… that can give love back to him, that can return the affection he can offer. Not… not a half-demon that has to remain cold and unfeeling her entire life."

She bowed her head and fell silent, still gripping Richard's hand desperately.

He squeezed her hand back and chuckled softly. "You know, I've never met any other couple that's more compatible or better suited for each other than the two of you."

She looked at him sharply, her eyes lighting up with an angry white glow. But there was not a trace of mocking or teasing in him. He was serious.

"Don't be an idiot, Richard. How can you say –"

"When you said he was full of love and wishing he could share it with someone, you just described yourself," he said gently.

A crack appeared on the surface of the roof with a sound like a gunshot. She gritted her teeth and forced all her sudden emotions down. All except one.

"There!" she said furiously, pointing at the yawning fissure on the concrete. "That's your answer!"

"Why now?" he said with a smile.

Her eyes narrowed, studying him carefully, trying to pry it out of him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, why did it happen now? Why did your powers react now, and not a minute ago, when you were submerged in love and sorrow?"

She stared at him without comprehension. He sighed.

"Think, Rae. I could feel your love for him as you spoke. It was overwhelming, and yet your powers did not react. It's not the emotions. It is the confusion and conflict between those emotions that causes it."

"You… you don't know what you're talking about!" she croaked, her mouth parched. A slight tremor shook the Tower.

His smile turned into a smirk. "I don't? You need more examples? Remember! Remember the rage you felt when Doctor Light pushed you to the limit! It let Red loose, but you never broke a single streetlight!"

The Tower rocked. She closed her eyes and desperately tried to calm down and bring her feelings into balance and order. The shaking subsided slowly.

She felt his hand pull out of her grasp and his arm wrap around her shoulders. "You can do it, Rae. You can love, and be loved. You just need to allow yourself to believe it."

Another ripple passed through the concrete roof before Raven managed to control the turmoil whirling inside her soul.

"I… suppose you're right," she whispered, then looked at him again. "What do I do now?"

"Now you face him, and you tell him, and you make him happy. Make yourself happy."

"It sounds so simple… when you say it. I'm… not sure I…"

He grinned at her. "From my own personal experience, banishing an extra-dimensional demon is peanuts compared to it!" His grin faded to an encouraging smile. "But you did defeat Trigon, and I know you can do this, too."

She chuckled and looked down. "I guess I… have to try."

His smile widened. "You do. And just to help you out, I'll use the time-honored tradition to motivate you, with a carrot and a stick."

Her eyes snapped up and she looked at him suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"

His smile became sly. "I'll call Gar and tell him to wrap up his work in Steel City. He can be back here tomorrow evening."

A tide of hope and joy rose in her and he sensed it. He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. She smiled shyly at him, then her eyes hardened and she became very serious.

"That was the carrot, I suppose. What would be the stick?"

He grinned impishly at her. "I've managed to keep Star off your back for a while now, but if I see that you're dragging your feet, keeping the status quo…"

"You will set her loose on me? That's cruel!"

There was a positive touch of maliciousness in the widening of his grin. "Oh, no, Rae. I will team her up with Vic, and then I will set them both loose on you!"

"Richard!"