.

Coffee Shops and Cameras

EPILOGUE

5 YEARS LATER

(Yochien – Kindergarten in Japan)

"Please hold still" I groaned, trying once more to push the button into the right hole as my tiny model squirmed under my efforts. Hideki frowned back at me, "Now what's that look for?" I asked, quirking a brow.

"I thought Uncle Kaoru would be here" the 4 year old pouted, his fair little face scrunching up almost comically.

I held back a smile, "He'll be here soon. We don't have to leave for another hour"

"Is Auntie Renge coming too?" Kotoko's big brown eyes went wide with hopefulness.

"If she can make it. Remember, she's a very busy lady" I replied.

"I want to show her my clothes" Kotoko did a little twirl in her new outfit, much like the ones she did when dressed up in the dresses her Grandma gave her. I felt a pang of uneasiness in my chest as I watched my little girl enjoy her big girl clothes, the ones she would be wearing on her first day at Yochien.

I finished with Hideki's buttons and sat back on my knees.

How big they looked...how mature and grown up...

Oh dammit, I promised no tears...

"Oh my goodness. Where did my babies go?" Hikaru's voice sounded from the doorway. I took a relieved breath as the kids jumped in excitement and ran into his open arms.

"Daddy I'm wearing a button shirt like you!" Hideki beamed.

"And I have a pretty dress!" Kotoko chimed in.

"And don't you both just look so grown up" Hikaru grinned, giving the twins a huge squeeze and a kiss on their foreheads. His eyes met mine and a knowing look passed between us, "And how is Mommy doing?"

I whooshed out a breath, "Mommy would be doing better if Daddy could get Uncle Kaoru to hurry up"

Hikaru grinned as Kotoko sat herself down in his lap, "Daddy actually just got off the phone with him, he's on his way with Grandma and Grandpa"

Hideki's face lit up, "Are they bringing us presents?"

"I'm sure they are" Hikaru chuckled.

"But the real present is them being here" I quickly chimed in, "If they do bring you something, what do you need to say?"

"Thank you!" the twins said in unison.

"Clever babies" Hikaru smiled, before diving his hands into Kotoko's tummy for their usual tickles. The little girl erupted into fits of laughter before Hikaru grabbed hold of her brother. It wasn't long before their new clothes were creased and wrinkled, but their smiles were far wider, so I could hardly complain for long.

"Breakfast is on the table" Hikaru announced, "Remember your aprons, Mommy and Daddy don't want you getting all dirty on your first day"

At the mention of food, the twins shot up and raced each other to the stairs, the sound of them fighting over who would get there first echoing down the hallway.

Hikaru grinned, wrapping his arm around me as we slowly followed.

"How's Mommy feeling?" he asked.

I felt my bottom lip stick out, "Not as good as I thought" I replied.

"They'll be amazing. You know they will"

"I know, I know" I sighed, "But...it still feels too soon. I swear it was only last week we were changing their diapers and wiping baby food off their little chins"

"I know what you mean" Hikaru pouted, "Remember when they started walking and we got them their first pairs of shoes?"

I smirked, "You cried"

"I didn't cry"

"You so did"

A sad sigh passed his lips, "They're my babies. They were meant to stay that way. Growing up wasn't part of the deal"

"I know. But look at them now" we stood in the doorway of the dining room, looking at our two little ones sat beside each other, their little legs swinging on the edge of their seats, their dark auburn hair brushed neatly, pulled up in pigtails, looking like angels.

"Where did the time go? Are you sure we can't keep them home any longer?" Hikaru rested his chin on my shoulder, staring longingly at our children who were none the wiser of their parents having an emotional crisis in the doorway.

"They need this" I sighed, "More friends, more playtime"

"If this is how we feel now, how the hell are we going to manage when they have to start Elementary School?"

"Please don't make me think about that now. My heart is breaking enough as it is"

Hikaru breathed a laugh beside my ear, then gave me a firm squeeze from behind, I winced as the familiar cramping in my stomach returned.

"Careful baby" I breathed, "Nervous tummy"

"Sorry honey" he replied, a kiss gracing my cheek, "Shall we go and have breakfast with our babies?"

I nodded.

"It's cheerios"

I smiled, "I love you so much"

"How you feeling big man?" Kaoru grinned up at Hideki who sat on his shoulders with glee.

"I want to stay with Mommy and Daddy" he replied sadly.

"Really? A big brave boy like you?" Kaoru chuckled back, "I remember when me and Daddy had our first day at Yochien, he cried and cried and cried"

"Hey, that was you" Hikaru blurted.

"No, it was definitely you" Yuzuha laughed, "You wouldn't even let go of my leg you were screaming so much"

"What were you like on your first day Mommy?" Kotoko asked from Hikaru's shoulders.

I smiled widely.

"Your Mommy walked in there like she was in charge of the place" Dad answered before I could, his long red hair glinting in the morning sunlight, "She was the one looking after all the criers like your Daddy"

"Hey!" Hikaru chimed in again.

"But there's nothing wrong with being sad" I reassured them, feeling all my hormones rear their ugly heads, "It's a big change. And it might be scary now, but once you've sat down and met everyone you won't want to leave. You'll make so many friends, I know it"

"I'm not scared" Kotoko announced, "I'll look after you Hideki"

Don't you dare fucking cry.

I glanced over to my husband, who was already watching me. A look that said the was fighting the same urge reflected back at me.

Honestly, I still couldn't quite believe we were here. Had it really been so many years? An engagement, a marriage, two kids later and here we were, walking our twins into Yochien on their first day. I was 31. I barely remembered turning 30. How had time gotten away from us so fast? I placed a hand on my stomach and caught myself staring down at it.

Later. This morning is about Kotoko and Hideki.

I blew Hikaru a kiss, to which he winked back in reply.

It took a while to take the brave step through those doors. We made sure to show them that just like them, all the other children were scared too, and it was okay to be afraid.

But our kids were special, because unlike the other children, they were twins. And since birth they had always shown that they were there for one another, neither one of them wanted to show the other they were afraid. No. They wanted to be each other's rock. So hands linked together, after many hugs and kisses, the two of them stepped inside the building, along with their new class friends and awaiting teacher. And the moment they were out of sight, I finally let the tears out, and a sob rose from my chest in the most devastating of ways.

"Oh honey" Hikaru cooed, wrapping me up in his arms, "Shhh, it's okay angel, they're gonna do great"

"I...know...they...will" I spoke between sobs.

My babies were so big now, and there was nothing I could do about that. Soon they would be at school, then high school, and I'd be fighting boys and girls off the doorstep with a bat because god dammit our kids were going to be irresistible. And I would be old so damn old. And they won't have time for me anymore, they'll be too busy being teenagers, then grown ups with their own lives and families, and what if when they moved out and got jobs they never called us-

"Mommy? Why are you crying?"

I froze in Hikaru's grip and slowly turned my head, meeting the curious gazes of my son and daughter, who stood there hand in hand.

I wiped my cheeks and untangled myself, before kneeling down to their level.

"Are you sad?" Kotoko asked.

I swallowed, "A little" I replied honestly.

"How come?" Hideki said, his big hazel eyes locked to mine in concern.

I sighed, suddenly feeling silly.

Then Hikaru appeared at my side, down on his knees next to me.

I took a calming breath.

"Days like these...can be sad for Mommys and Daddys..." I breathed, cupping their plump little cheeks in my palms, "You won't remember when you were babies. But we do. We remember every second of it. And when you were born it was the happiest day of our lives, we remember every first word, every step, every meal time, every cuddle. And today is one of those big first things. And sometimes those really big first things means saying goodbye to all those other things"

"We love you both more than anything in the world" Hikaru spoke softly, and pulled Hideki in for a hug, just as Kotoko came to me, "You're both so grown up now. And going to big school shows us that you don't need us to wipe the food off your chins anymore or carry you to bed. So today is almost like saying goodbye to our little babies, and hello to our big grown up children"

"Do you not want us to go to big school now?" Kotoko asked.

Hikaru and I shook our heads, small smiles on our saddened faces.

"No baby, you need to go to big school. We're happy you're going, it's confusing I know, but Mommys and Daddys can be happy and sad at the same time"

"We'll be okay" Hideki breathed, glancing at his sister, "I'll look after Koto, and she'll look after me"

My heart squeezed with love.

"I know sweetheart" I said, "We love you both so much, and we know you'll be amazing"

"We love you too" they both said in unison.

We had the longest cuddle imaginable, then said goodbye once more, watching them for the second time walking into Yochien, waving as they went.

Hikaru kissed my head and held me close, whispering to me that they were going to be okay.

Then a sob came from behind us, and we watched as Kaoru hid his face in Renge's coat.

"God dammit you guys" he sobbed.

"So this is weird" Hikaru announced, looking around the empty living room, "It's so...quiet"

"I know" I smirked, "I don't think I remember the last time the house was this...still"

"I've got you all to myself" he grinned, "Such a rarity"

"Don't get too excited" I chuckled, "I have laundry to do"

"But then you're all mine?"

"Then I have to clean their rooms"

"But then you're all-"

"Then I have to vaccum"

"But then-"

"And then I have to get dinner started"

He studied me for a moment, "But then-"

"Then I'm all yours" I beamed.

He grinned back, then immediately wrapped his arms around me and lifted me so my legs latched around his waist. I laughed.

"I swear I just told you I was busy. I can book you in for a 4pm appointment"

"No. Sorry. Laundry, vacuuming and dinner can wait. I want to pamper my wife" He beamed at me with all his perfection, lowering us both down onto the couch in a tangle of arms and legs.

"Your wife?" I mocked, "I thought I was 'Mommy' these days?"

"You're a Mommy, you're a superhero, you're a princess, but above all, you are my beautiful, perfect, loving wife" he accentuated every word with a kiss down my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

Tell him.

I shook away the voice in my head, choosing to focus on Hikaru.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, thinking back to the morning.

He huffed, "I'm alright. I knew this day would come"

"I thought it would be easier" I admitted.

"Me too" he sighed, "But I guess it comes with the job. You have kids, they grow up, one day they'll be teenagers mooching off us and asking for money-"

"Please don't talk about them being teenagers" I pouted, "I'm barely over seeing Hideki using metal cutlery"

"I know angel, me neither"

I let out a heavy breath. I thought about the day they were born. I remembered shouting at Hikaru whilst squeezing his hand, the doctors around us, our family in the hallway. I remembered all the pain until Kotoko was settled on my chest, followed shortly by Hideki. Seeing those little faces, their tiny hands and feet. When the overwhelming feeling of being a mother struck me. And seeing the look on Hikaru's face when he held his son and daughter for the first time. It was the moment my life felt complete. Everything Hikaru and I went through to be together, the night he proposed at the vineyard, every moment since. It all fell into place in the most beautiful way.

My hand instinctually traced my abdomen.

If life was complete then...then what does this mean?

"What's the matter babydoll?" Hikaru asked, using the old nickname he'd coined for me all those years ago. I looked into his swirling hazel eyes, the same ones I'd fallen for all those years ago.

I took a deep breath.

"Have you...ever thought about having more children?" I risked the question.

Hikaru's expression slowly turned from concern to elation, as a smile spread across his face.

"More kids?" he asked, "Another mouth to feed? Another first pair of shoes? Another baby to see off at the school gates?"

I swallowed, preparing for his response.

He grinned, "I'd do it all over again in an instant"

I felt my eyes heat with tears, and another sob rose up in my throat.

"Damn, you are one emotional Mommy today" he chuckled.

I laughed, "There's...there's actually a reason for that"

"A reason? Aside from seeing your little ones go to Yochien for the first time?"

I hesitated. Then nodded slowly.

His brow furrowed.

"Hikaru" I breathed, sitting upright to see him properly. I cupped his cheek, tracing his stubble with my thumb. I admired his handsome face, and how even after all this time he still looked the same. Perhaps a couple of grey hairs sprouting, and a line here and there. But it was still the same face I admitted my love to, the same face I spoke my vows to, the same face that looked back at me when our children were born. I smiled softly, and hesitantly, "Hikaru, I'm pregnant"

I wasn't sure what reaction I was expecting. Maybe concern, maybe acceptance, maybe joy. But what I wasn't expecting was the overwhelming grin on his face, or the way he leapt to his feet in celebration, tears falling from his eyes.

"Are you serious?" he blurted, covering his mouth.

I nodded dumbfoundedly, "Yes...I...I'm not sure how far along, but I found out a couple of nights ago..."

"Yes baby, yes!" he gaped, his arms enveloping me and lifting me into his arms.

"If I'd known you were going to react like this I would have told you sooner" I laughed.

"You should have. Oh my god angel, I can't tell you how happy I am"

I looked into his tear filled eyes, nothing but love and adoration reflected back at me.

"I didn't want to scare you. With the kids going to Yochien, I just didn't want to overshadow that"

"Babydoll" he grinned, holding my face in his hands as he peppered me with kisses, "We could have 100 kids, and it would never scare me" he quickly lowered himself onto his knees, coming face to face with my stomach. With a grin he pressed his forehead against it and let out a laughing breath, "I'd do it all again. Over and over. If we could have more perfect, beautiful, smart, amazing kids. I would say yes every time. Haru, you've given me more than I could have ever hoped for, and yet you're still giving me more" he looked up at me with teary eyes, "I love you. And I love Hideki, and I love Kotoko. And I'll love this little one just as much"

Drops rolled down my cheeks and my chest swelled with adoration.

7 MONTHS LATER

"One more push angel, just one more, you're doing so good" Hikaru pushed me on, his hand enveloped in mine.

Sweat poured down my face, my breaths coming out like razor blades as I heaved and sobbed against the pain.

I glared at him, "100 more kids you said?! Are you insane?!"

"Shhh, breathe angel"

"Breathe?! Are you seriou-ahhhhh!"

I pushed with a snarl as the midwife spurred me on, hunched over between my legs where I felt the epicentre of pain rip me in two.

My whole being felt as if it were on fire, even as I let out another long groan of agony. The nurses and doctors seemed to pass words of encouragement, before I felt the last push and relief, and suddenly our daughter, taking her first breath and first wail was laid down on my chest.

Immediately I felt my heart erupt, and the tears began streaming down my cheeks, and the sobs rose almost painfully as I looked down at her beautiful fresh face.

"Oh angel, you did it, oh my god you did it" Hikaru's voice strained with emotion as he showered my exhausted face with kisses, "My Princess, hi baby" he cooed, stroking our new baby's head with the most gentle of touches.

I wanted to say so much but I couldn't make it past the sobs. I was too overwhelmed as I looked down at our little girl's tiny face. I took in every feature. Her father's lips, my nose, the shape of her rounded face. I recognised so many little details her brother and sister had and everything hit me at once.

It wasn't until she had been washed and I'd been seen to, that my emotions finally calmed, and Hikaru settled down beside me with her in his arms, wrapped in a pink blanket, her little hands opening and closing as she explored the new air around her.

"You were amazing angel" Hikaru sniffed, trying his best to breath in the tears as he grinned down at our daughter, "She's just...perfect"

I smiled weakly, "She looks like you"

"Like me?" He scoffed, "With eyes as bright as these, she's definitely got her Mother's beauty"

Dad, Yuzuha and her husband, as well as Kotoko and Hideki were allowed in the room shortly afterwards. The grandparents descended, desperate to see their brand new grandbaby, and after some cuddles the room settled with quiet excitement. It was then that Hikaru and I both noticed our other two babies, stood at the other end of the room, hand in hand, looking over with curious but cautious eyes.

I leaned in towards Dad, "Could we have a moment with our little ones?" I whispered.

He smiled back, nodding silently, then passed the request onto my mother and father in law.

A few moments later it was just the 5 of us. Me, Hikaru, our twins, and our baby girl.

I cradled our daughter in my arms, as Hikaru patted the sheets beside me. Kotoko and Hideki glanced at one another, before slowly walking over, and climbing up beside me on the bed.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked Hideki, who sat closest to my side.

He looked from my face to his new sister's, then nodded slowly.

Carefully, with Hikaru's help, I placed the baby in his arms, making sure her head was supported on the pillow, whilst the rest of her laid in her brother's lap.

"She's so little" he said.

Hikaru and I both smiled.

"You were that size once" Hikaru said, "It felt like just yesterday Mommy and Daddy were holding you both exactly like this in our arms"

Kotoko leaned closer, studying the baby's little face.

"You know..." I breathed, "It's hard work looking after a new baby. Daddy and I are going to need some help"

The twins looked between us, "You will?" they asked in unison.

Their father smiled, "This little girl is going to need a lot of love. But more than that, she's going to need her big brother and sister to show her how to walk, how to choose her favourite colour, her favourite story, put on her jammies, hide snacks from Mommy and Daddy..." Hikaru hummed, placing his thumb between our baby's small fingers, "She's going to need all of us"

The hesitant look on the twin's faces subsided a little, as they both looked at their sister's eyes flutter open and shut, and listened to the small hiccups that escaped her petite lips.

"Our family just got one person bigger" I said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my son's ear, "And you two are the most important people who can guide her"

"We are?" Hideki asked.

I nodded, "You two are the most perfect things in our lives, who else could be a better influence?"

"We can handle all the big stuff. The diapers, the food. But she's going to need her big brother and sister to be there for her too"

Kotoko pursed her lips, her plump little cheeks rising as she thought, "We can do that"

"She's always going to need someone to talk to, and maybe a lot of those times she'll want to come to you and not to Mommy and Daddy" I said.

"I can talk to her" Hideki nodded.

"Me too" his sister agreed.

"She needs a name" Hikaru chimed in, kissing Kotoko on the forehead and ruffling her long auburn locks, "Didn't you two have a few suggestions?"

They nodded eagerly.

"What does she look like to you?" I asked.

They thought for a moment. And without a word said between them they shared one look, then said together, "Yui"

"Yui?" Hikaru and I repeated.

I smiled, "Yui suits her"

"It does" Hikaru agreed.

The twins smiled together, clearly pleased with their choice.

"I love you Yui. I'm going to be the bestest big brother" Hideki planted a quick sloppy kiss on the baby girl's forehead.

"I love you too. I'll give you all my dollies and dresses when you're big enough" Kotoko continued.

And with that, my heart seemed to implode.

Don't you dare cry.

I looked over at Hikaru, who was already holding my gaze. His eyes glazed over with tears.

This was our family. Hikaru, Kotoko, Hideki, Yui, and I.

It had only been 6 years. But here we were.

It was crazy. Thinking back on everything we had gone through. Thinking back on all the seemingly ineffectual things we had done in our relationship. And how when it began we hadn't even seen this future in our paths. And yet here we were. One marriage and three children later. And honestly. I couldn't have been happier. And I wouldn't have changed a single thing.

I kissed each of my babies on the cheek, giving them a cuddle that told them how much they meant to me. Before leaning in and kissing Hikaru, my husband, firmly on the lips, pouring every emotion into it.

"I love you" I said.

He beamed back, looking at me as if I were the most precious jewel he had ever seen, "I love you too angel"

"Gross" the twins gagged.

And we laughed. Until the nurse re-entered, and we realised it was time to go home.

I smiled, and my family smiled with me.

Our home.

I could legitimately cry right now, oh my god.

I can't believe this story has come to an end. I was looking at when I first uploaded this story and it said 2017 and honestly that's insane to me! 3 years?! Where did the time go?! I'm sorry it took so long, but honestly I can't be too sorry because I'm so happy with how the story came out! Although I'm still so upset it had to come to an end :(

So, where does this leave my profile since my main story has ended?

Well, my secondary story Let The Wind Blow is still ongoing, if a little slower than my other uploads (this is due to the subject matter. when it comes to mental health I have to be in the right mind set to write it, as well as the amount of educating I've had to do when it comes to the other conditions mentioned in the story. When I began this story I had an idea, but as time has gone on I've realised I've been awfully one dimensional about many of the real life conditions, and as I don't want to cause unnecessary offense, I've been on a personal journey of educating myself which has taken time)

Also following this story, I have many ideas lined up, but there will be another main story coming very soon which I have been working on for a while now, and I so so so hope you'll love it just as much as you've loved this one. Hopefully it won't take another 3 years to complete this one however :D

In the meantime I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story. To everyone who favourited, followed, who reviewed and talked to me in DMs, who have tweeted me, who have been on this journey with me. Thank you all so so much.

All my love, stay safe, and be kind to one another,

Yuli xxx