Final chapter, everyone.

Some fun facts: Fel is named, effectively, after her mother. Anzen has a different source for his name: put it into Google translate for Japanese.

HUSBAND

This isn't so bad.

This morning I woke up exactly where I was supposed to be, next to my wife. It's been over thirty years, and I still smile every time I wake up next to her. I had good dreams; I was sitting on the bench in the garden, and the kids were little again. Anzen was sitting on K-9's shoulders, the droid running after a giggling Fel, his arms stretched forward, pretending to be an U-Wing for my son. My Jyn was there, tucked under my arm, young again. I woke to the immediate sight of her face, older now but still as beautiful.

I slipped my arm out from under her, pulled the covers over her. We had made love last night - we're not that old - and I nearly tripped on our clothes on the floor next to the bed. I went to the bathroom, chuckled at the old man in the mirror.

I remembered a very different reflection. A thinner, younger man, with hollows around his eyes, unable to believe he was still alive, that he was that lucky. My hair might have been brown still rather than white, but the wrinkles on my face were not from smiling too much. Although, that night perhaps that might have been true. Behind my reflection was Jyn, my sheets pooled around her hips, sleeping like now.

Ah, our first night. I can't help but smile at how awkward it was; we'd had to wait for our injuries to make some progress, and my ribs were still feeling sore, my leg no longer in its cast but still painful, and her wrist was in a sleeve to support it. The first time was over too fast - it had been a long time in the making for us, and we were both full of nerves. We talked after, with naked honesty. She told me about Hadder, a boy she had had feelings for five years before, and a handful of other men with whom sex had been an advantage. I told her the truth; that I'd never cared about any woman until her, but had shared plenty of beds and dark corners since I was a teen, that sex was just a way to blow some steam, a more carnal way of pinching myself to remember I was alive.

The second time was better, much better. And, in the morning, after I got back into bed next to her, the third time. I lost count within a week. I know I'm an old man, and I should be wiser for it, but it still makes me happy to know that I was the only one who ever made Jyn scream in pleasure.

What a life we have had. I remember muttering to Chirrut and Baze that I was beginning to think that the Force and I had different priorities. I've had nearly thirty five years to be grateful that I was wrong.

You were right, Chirrut. You already know this, but I escaped that prison a long time ago. And freedom has been… oh, it has been so good. The first lock to go was on that beach, on Scarif, when I thought our chances were spent, the second I held Jyn's hand in mine for the first time.

Thank you, all of you. Jyn and I should have died that day; everything that I hold dear - our marriage, our children, the future we hope for them - all of it… we would never have had any of it were it not for your will. I know you heard me say it in life; I'll say it again now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm grateful that there are some things I don't need to worry about. Our daughter Fel was off planet, with the Redemption; we had half hoped to cross paths with her here on Hosnian Prime. She has Diana and K-9, she won't be alone when the news comes. She'll take care of Anzen, our son, although perhaps it will be the other way round. I'm so proud of them. I hope we told them that enough times in life, that they won't ever doubt it. I hope that they're wise enough to not tread the path that I took after my parents were killed, seeking revenge and forgiveness even though I would never truly find either.

Part of me is angry, really angry. After all we went through, after all we faced and vanquished, this isn't the way I wanted to go, definitely isn't the way I wanted Jyn to go. I suppose I'm glad we don't need to worry any more about outliving the other, of burying the other and waiting to join them, that when death came in a red flash I still had a chance to hold Jyn in my arms one last time, but… we faced down the mushroom cloud of the Death Star twice. It… it's not fair.

You would have been able to see our deaths from our house… oh Force…

I'm glad you're all here. Thank you for always looking over us, for being here now with us. I'm glad that we made you proud over the years. Bohdi, you in particular; Jyn and I would probably never have met were it not for your bravery, and Anzen always credits the stories we told him of you to his profession of choice. He said being sat all by yourself in the seat of an X-Wing sounded too lonely; being a cargo pilot meant you got to meet and see all sorts. Well, I'm sure you heard him at the time.

I remember Anzen say that when he was helping me cook dinner. Winter was coming in, the wind picking up and whistling around our house. Despite that it was warm inside Fel was reading on a pad by the fire, asking K-9 what some of the longer words in the encyclopaedia meant, and then what some of the words in his explanation meant too. Jyn was making her way home from Maz's hangar, where she worked as a mechanic, charging passing-by ships for repairs and maintenance, listening for news. Anzen and I were making her favourite stew to warm Mum up when she got home. And I looked down at him - he had to stand on a stool to reach the cooker - and across at my clever girl, and couldn't help but be reminded that both of them had been born in tents, in the refugee camps on Jedha and Jakku, and now we all lived in a house on this beautiful green planet. I felt like I was a good father then, I was proud of myself then.

So many memories… all these snapshots of our lives together. I'm so glad I have these. If I had died on Scarif, what would I be looking back on then? Twenty years of orders I'd regret obeying, of always losing people, never gaining anyone. The best moments to remember would have been the last, of her smile when she saw I was still alive at the top of that tower, of admiring her as the lift descended, of her strength as she helped me limp to the beach.

My last moments now… before the inferno, they were not too bad. The end of a long day; we'd had breakfast, endured meeting after meeting arguing over the same thing - whether war was on the horizon once again, whether the emerging First Order was truly a threat to the peace - and then finally got some time to ourselves. We went to explore; Jyn had never been, and I think it must have been four decades since I had been to Republic City. We got to see the Hanging Gardens; the flowers made me think of our garden back home that K-9 had spent years cultivating, made me feel homesick. When the end came we were taking a stroll along the bay.

I would rather forget the fear in Jyn's face when we realised what the approaching light was. There are plenty of moments I'd rather not waste eternity thinking of; this I think will remain the one I want to forget the most. I must have looked terrified too - I was terrified. I thought of our children, and begged the Force that what was about to happen to us was not happening to them.

We'll make sure of it, Jyn and I. I guess we're one with the Force now, and the Force is with us.

Jyn. My beautiful Jyn. If I didn't tell you enough times in life how much I love you, I now have infinity to keep telling you. I loved you on that cursed beach. I loved you when I woke up in the hospital on Yavin IV, your hand holding mine. I loved you when the first Death Star was destroyed, when we kissed for the first time and watched the suns of Yavin rise together. I loved you as we darted across the Pantora System, still healing. I loved you on Hoth, when I nearly lost you to the ice storms. I loved you when you stubbornly came with me to Coruscant to pick up the Bothans' intelligence. Of course I loved you when you accepted my proposal on the way home, when you married me within hours of docking, our only witness K-9. I loved you as we fought against the second Death Star. I loved you when we decided to go back to Jedha, when you told me that we were going to have Fel, when she was born. I loved you when you told me that she would have a brother, Anzen, when he was born on Jakku. I loved you when we agreed that that horrible place wasn't the home for us, when we agreed we needed somewhere green, somewhere temperate and peaceful. I loved you as our hair greyed and mine whitened. I loved you as our children grew to become the strong, smart, funny and loving, beautiful people that they are. I loved you when it became just us again, every time you smiled and kissed me when you came home, every night when we went to sleep side by side and every morning woke even closer together.

I love you for loving me, even though once I had nightmares of all the things I had done, all the lives that I've ruined and ended that didn't deserve to be. I love you for forgiving me for lying to you about my mission, all those years ago. I love you for knowing that I have never lied to you again since, and never will. I love you for admiring me, wanting me, caring for me. I love you for giving me all of the things that have ever meant the most to me. I love you for supporting me, for always having my back. I love your smile, your laugh, even your scowl.

I cannot fathom eternity without you, Jyn.

I know.

So...

I got asked how I was going to tie in with Episode VII. Well... this was always my answer. They had over thirty years of chances, they had to spend them all eventually, or rather bequeath them to the next generation. They spent their chances well.

This story actually came from a very specific motivation. I'm half-Japanese, through my mother's grandparents. The waves of destruction on Jedha and Scarif will always resonate with me, even though I have no direct claim to it. This story started out as a wish to try and make something good out of something I abhor. I apologise for the political note, but... it should never be forgotten that in Star Wars, the bad guys are the ones who use weapons of mass destruction.

Thank you for reading my story. Please write me a review to let me know what you think. This will be re-edited at some point, just to correct the odd little bit or change a line I wasn't happy with. Otherwise, it has been a pleasure writing this, and I look forward to reading other stories. GotH x