So I have been sort of missing in action with my other story. Just been so crazy busy with work, but this week I just started typing and this is the result. I hope you like it. Reviews are welcomed and encouraged...even if you don't like it I would love to hear your feedback. I am writing who writes as and where the ideas take her. So I will see where this story takes me and hopefully get an update for my other Arrow fanfiction soon! As always I only own my OC, the rest is all the creators, writers etc for Arrow. Love this show!

Life always seems to know how to keep things interesting. Anyone who says life is boring, is clearly not paying much attention. My life was anything but boring, and yet it wasn't very exciting either. My name is Adalyn Merlyn, daughter of Malcolm and Rebecca Merlyn. Littler Sister of Thomas Merlyn. And in my 25 years I had experience so much in one lifetime that it amazed even me that I am still managing to pull myself out of bed each morning. But I was a Merlyn, and that's what we do. We push forward and keep on fighting, never letting the world know what's really going on inside. That's how I was raised. That's what my father always instilled in my brother Tommy and I. No matter how bad life gets, you put on that brave face and show the world that nothing can hurt you. Tommy did his best with the performance, most days he succeeded, but he was always so kind. It was definitely one of the things that I loved most about my big brother, his genuine heart and his capacity for love. That was something he most definitely inherited from out mother. He had always been so close to her. I was only 4 when she was killed, so my memories of her are a bit foggy. I have days when I can remember the smell of her perfume or the few family memories we all made together, and there are others that I feel I don't remember her at all.

While the loss of one's mother is something that turns your world upside down, it should be a time where your father steps in and wraps you in love and tenderness. My father took the opposite road, he hardened himself to the world and dedicated his life to his business endeavors. I had been a daddy's girl, but when my mother died, so did my dad or at least the dad I had grown close to over those first four years. He loved my mother so completely, and it literally killed his soul to be without her. With time he began to show glimmers of that warm and loving father, but the moments were fleeting and few and far between. Now Tommy did all he could to separate himself from my father and the life he had "built for us". Tommy sat on the board just as I did, but he chose to take the socialite route while looking into opening up some business ventures of his own. I took the more complacent road. I work at Merlyn industries, learning the ropes so that one day I can perhaps step in as CEO when my father decides he has had enough. It gave me the opportunity to work closely with my father, and I guess in some ways it was me trying to get that father/daughter bond back. It did return, but I soon realized that it would never be the same bond my four year old self shared with her father. This new Malcolm Merlyn was a different man, one I would just have to accept if I wanted any kind of relationship with him.

Along with a life of loss, came a life of great wealth and privilege. I attended all of the best schools, graduated with my masters in business and communications studies, with a minor in Human Biology. I had wanted for nothing in life. My father even bought me a downtown condo once I completed school and had decided that it was time to experience life a bit more independently. I was always gifted and for the young age of 25 I become quite the accomplished young lady. One might ask how I came out of that life I had so together, and so composed, and the answer is simple...The Queens. The Queen family had been there for us every step of the way. Robert Queen was one of my father's closest friends and business associates. They were best friends if we wanted to get all high school about it. Moira and my mother had grown quite close over the years as well. Moira was the only mother figure I had after my mother was killed. She stepped in and was and still is there for anything I ever need. They were our saving grace. Whenever our dad had to go out of town on business or what have you the Queens would welcome us into their home with open arms. It helped that their son Oliver and Tommy were best friends, but either way it offered us a safe place to be when we couldn't be at home.

So our childhood became less about the pain we were experience and more about fort building on the grounds at Queen Manor, or the boys rescuing me from a dragon. I always envied that relationship that Oliver and Tommy had. They were so close and together they were my protectors. I had a close relationship with Oliver as well. He was one of my closest friends, and really I viewed him like family in a sense, but I also being a young girl began to see a different side of him. The side of him that was growing into a man, and a man that I had most definitely developed an emotional attachment to beyond the binds of friendship. Somewhere along the lines of my childhood I had fallen in love with Oliver Queen. We had always been close, and for a time it was the relationship of a brother and sister. After all I was his best friends little sister, so more often than not I was hanging around when they were together. Then high school came, and with it brought Laurel Lance into the lives of two of the most important men in my life. She was beautiful, fun, full of life and of course they both fell in love with her, but she chose Oliver. She always did, over everything else. So it didn't come as a surprise to me when she started looking at apartments for their next big step. I liked Laurel, don't get me wrong, she too was a good friend of mine. What I didn't like was seeing the person Oliver was when he was with her, or the way my brother's heart broke every time he saw Oliver and Laurel together.

Tommy was Laurel's shoulder to lean on every time something went wrong with her and Oliver. Which is ironic since Oliver is his best friend, and also he's a dude. And things often went wrong. Laurel was jealous all the time, and Oliver was clearly not interested in the confines of a committed relationship. That seemed to be a theme he carried through more than just his romantic entanglements. He seems to avoid commitment in all aspects of his life. Dropping out of schools, partying too much and inevitably all this would result in an argument with Laurel about how he was attracting the wrong kind of attention. Each time she would run to Tommy, and each time he would run to me. To just "be him" as he called it. We would talk and he would go on about how he just wants to figure out who he is, and not be who everyone around him expects and each time I would say to him "they why don't you stop wasting time and go out and figure it out". We confided in each other more than I think even Tommy knew, but we never crossed that line. Well except that one time.

Flashback-

I was eighteen, just finishing up my last exams, gearing up for all of the celebrations that came with school ending, more specifically prom. Oliver was 20 and just dropped out of his 2nd college. He had come home for the weekend for some charity function that due to prom, I was able to get out of. It had been a great night. I danced with my friends, made all the cheesy prom memories and then I asked my date to take me home. He suggested a walk by the pier. It was a nice night and up to that point he had been nothing but a gentleman, so I figured what was the harm. We had been walking for a few moments, when he came up to his family's yacht. He suggest we hop on board for a drink, dangling the key before my eyes. I was by no means an angel, and from time to time I did enjoy engaging in a bit of underage drinking, I was however a virgin. I agreed to the drink, but once he sat down and handed the scotch to me things started to get weird. We were making out, something we had done together on a number of occasions when he tried to unzip my dress. I asked him to stop, but he clearly was not interested in hearing my answer.

Finally I decided that my voice was clearly being ignored, so I should take matters a bit further. I pulled back knee and managed to ram it back into his crotch. He yelped and fell to the ground and I decided I didn't care to stick around to hear him tell me all the reasons we should have sex. I had been walking about a block when I decided to call him. It wasn't late, only about 10:30pm, so I knew he would still be out at the gala, but decided to take a chance that he would answer. Sure enough he did.

"Addy, hey is everything okay?" Oliver said once he finally answered the phone. It felt like it had been ringing for hours, when in reality it was about 3 seconds. He pretty much always answered my call, especially when he and Laurel were fighting or on a break, both of which they were currently doing.

"Hey Ollie, yeah I'm..uh..I'm fine. Just needed to hear a friendly voice that's all. Go back to the party I'll see you tomorrow maybe." I said in a rush before attempting to hang up.

"Wait! Addy...meet me at our spot. See you in 20." Oliver said before he hung up the phone. I could not contain the smile that crept onto my face. He would drop pretty much everything for me if I asked, and sometimes I didn't even have to.

He hadn't even really hung up the phone before my feet had begun moving on their own accord. I was practically running as fast as my little strappy heels, that Thea had insisted were the perfect addition to my ensemble, would carry me. In less than 10 minutes I was in a cab, making my way to Queen Manor. I threw some money at the driver and pulled off my shoes before stepping out of the car. I quickly picked up the bottom of my dress and ran out to the old treehouse that the three of us would play in as kids. This had always been our hideout even now as adults, the place he told me to meet him whenever he wanted to be "just him". I smiled softly when I saw that he had beat me here. Probably hoped on his bike and sped over.

"Hey...wow Ads. You look beautiful." Oliver said as his breath sort of caught in his throat.

"Thanks Ollie. I guess prom is as good an occasion as any to dress up like a princess." I said with a sad smile.

"No not a princess, a queen." He said with a smirk as he pulled me into a warm embrace. "What happened that had you calling me? Shouldn't you be out partying with your friends?"

"Yeah I suppose I should be, but I was just not feeling it tonight." I said with a sigh. "I had asked my date to take me home, he instead suggested a drink on his family yacht...where I'm sure you can guess what he wanted to happen there."

"Did he hurt you?" Oliver asked as he looked me over once again. "Did he force himself on you?"

"No Ollie, he was getting a bit agressive and I said no, which he didn't appreciate, but swift knee in the nuts set him straight." I said with a slight laugh.

"Well that saves me an ass kicking to deliver." Oliver said as he lead me into our tree house. "Other than that idiot how was your night?"

"It was great...just needed to be "just me" for a little while." I said using his words against him with a laugh. "How was the gala?"

"Same as always. Rich people talking about how rich they are. Dad trying to show me off to more business associates as the future of Queen Consolidated. Nothing special and those things are even worse when you go stag." Oliver said with a sigh before running a hand across his tired face.

"Stag? You and Laurel break up again?" I asked with a sarcastic tone.

"Yeah, and this time I didn't even do anything to provoke her." He replied with a laugh. "Whatever, I am sure she will come around eventually."

"She always does doesn't she." I said with a smile. "Just that irresistible Oliver Queen charm."

"So how come you didn't want to go through with it?" Oliver asked sort of avoiding looking at me. I think he surprised himself by asking.

"It's not that I don't want to have sex. I'm not a prude okay. I guess I just didn't want it to be with him. Not the first time." I said with a sigh feeliing like a silly school girl. "I guess I always hoped that my first time would be with someone special."

"So candlelight, flowers and all that?" Oliver asked.

"No not necessarily candlelight and flowers, just with someone special. Someone I genuinely love, trust and just care for. None of that describes him." I said with a slight laugh. "I always..nope not going to go there."

"What? Go where?" Oliver prodded, trying to get me to divulge what I was holding back. "Come on you can tell me anything...I promise."

"Not this." I said sadly.

"Come on Bri, I promise you can tell me anything." Oliver repeated.

"I always imagined my first time would be with…" I sighed not even believing that I was about to say it out loud. I could see the anticipation in Oliver's eyes. I really hoped he didn't hate me after this. "Ugh fine. I always hoped my first time would be with you."

The sentence came out in a mess of words. I wasn't even sure he had really heard me. I actually almost hoped he hadn't so I could just run away and never speak of this again. He never responded with words. He simply walked over to where I stood, placed a hand on the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. Soft at first, but then it grew. Soon we were surrounded by our scattered clothing and a mess of naked limbs. I remembered even now every caress, every warm breath on my skin and every kiss. It was the perfect night. The most perfect first time and once we were finished we just fell asleep in each others arms and for a moment my world had been complete. It had never been like that again. Nobody ever compared to him, and it never happened again. We went on with our lives never really speaking about it. Our relationship was as if nothing had changed at all, but deep down for me it only solidified my feelings for him. I was in love with Oliver Queen and I probably always would be.

That had been 7 years ago. So much had happened since then. Of course Laurel and Oliver got back together and repeated their usual cycle until Ollie….until he died. He and Laurel had been looking at apartments, they had been talking about taking the next step together. Unfortunately, in true Oliver fashion he acted out. Did something that would hurt Laurel, and then they would break up again. Only this time she didn't have a chance to break up with him. His dad was scheduled to head to China for some business. Oliver mentioned to me that he might tag along and get away from everything for a few days. I had gone down to the dock that day to see him off, but apparently I had not been the only one. I ran into Laurel leaving as I arrived. It seemed my arrival offered the distraction Oliver and Sara had needed to get her on the boat without anyone else noticing. The sight of it made my blood boil. Once she was on the boat and hidden Oliver made his way over to me. I said my goodbyes to Laurel and then stomped over to him.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? Are you really that stupid?" I yelled.

"Keep your voice down Addy." Oliver said trying to quiet me.

"I will not keep my voice down Oliver Jonas Queen!" I yelled. Thankfully Laurel was long gone. "You can be a real asshole sometimes, but this is low even for you! If you go through with this Oliver, then don't bother speaking to me again. The man I know, trust and love is not this person"

"Then I guess I'm not that person." Oliver said sarcastically.

"Have a great trip! You're such a fucking disappointment!" I yelled before storming off. I had been so livid and those were the last words Oliver heard leave my mouth. That has stayed with me every day for the last 5 years. What stayed with me even more was the voicemail he left when I ignored his 12 calls several days later. He had said:

"Addy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for disappointing you. I'm sorry I've not been the man that you know and love. I promise I am going to get my shit together this time. I'll be a better man Ads I promise."

I have listened to that message repeatedly for the last five years and it always haunted me. What kind of man would Oliver have been had he still been alive today. I had come down to Queen Manor to visit with Moira and Thea. I did this often, but I did it today because I was missing Oliver immensely. Even now I still loved him, sitting here talking to him like I always had gave some small comfort. I had been sitting out here for probably an hour when I heard soft footsteps behind me. I turned slowly to see Moira approaching with tears streaming down her face.

"Moira...what's wrong?" I asked as I quickly stood up and made my way over to her. "Moira...what happ…"

"They found him." She said interrupting me. I couldn't even find the words to ask who she was talking about. She must have sensed that so she continued on. "They found Oliver."