AN: Speculation for Unleashed (8x24) on the proposal we're due. Spoilers for Uncaged (8x23).

Deeks has had hellish moments in his life. How many times, starting in his childhood, has he faced death? His own? A colleague's, friend's, or loved one's?

As he and Kensi sat staking out a location where Tahir Khaled might show up, Deeks compared those more distant waking nightmares to the one that was currently unfolding. Sadly, he had some idea of what Sam was going through right now. He could still remember that day in Afghanistan with disturbing clarity, and even now if he thought too much about it, he wanted to vomit. The belief that the most important person in his life was dead…no murdered, and the image of her bloody body were too much for him to bear.

But he and Kensi had only barely begun their relationship when she was sent away. He hadn't been married to her and raised children with her. So while he had some idea, Deeks knew his feelings were still miles away from what Sam was experiencing.

Plus, Kensi hadn't really been killed. She was sitting beside him now, staring out the window, hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel. Deeks wondered where her thoughts were taking her. Nowhere good, he'd guess.

He cleared his throat and softly offered, "How're you doing?"

Kensi glanced at him briefly and then turned her attention back to the building ahead of them, keeping a lookout for their target. Deeks saw the grief in her eyes and wondered if she saw the same in his. Maybe that was why she didn't hold his gaze.

"I've been thinking," she said, her voice gruff with disuse and unshed tears.

Deeks could sense her reluctance to share whatever was on her mind. "We don't have to talk now if you don't want. But we're just sitting here, and the quiet is super unnatural and kind of creepy."

"That's just because you're usually yammering away," Kensi tried for humor, but it fell flat.

"Admit it, you can't stand Deeks silence," he tried too, because they needed something other than the painful memories of failing to find Michelle in time yesterday.

"Honestly? I haven't even noticed," she admitted sadly. "It hasn't been quiet in my head."

"Sam and Michelle?"

She sighed, "Yeah, to an extent. But also us."

"What about us?" Kensi looked at him again and looked away quickly, and it made Deeks nervous. When she didn't respond right away, he pushed, "Kens? What's going on?"

This time Kensi made eye contact, and maintained it. When she turned off and removed her earwig, Deeks felt the creep of anxiety in his chest, but he followed suit.

She almost whispered, "After all this with Michelle and Sam, do you…do you still want to get married?"

Deeks couldn't tell by Kensi's tone if she was looking for reassurance or a way out. He'd give her the former but never the latter. "Of course I do. Look, yeah, as horrific as what just happened is, we knew it was a possibility when we signed on. It could end the same way for us one day, but I'll be happy for whatever time we get, Kens. This doesn't change how I feel about marrying you." He paused to wait for her response and was almost afraid to ask, "Why?"

"Because it changes how I feel about it." Kensi took a deep breath and glanced back out the window before continuing, "I don't want to wait, Deeks. Not anymore. I know you were holding off asking again so I could fully recover, and then to see what happened with Whiting. But I don't want to wait. We'll can take some time off until Michelle's…" Kensi's voice hitched. "Michelle's funeral. I want to be married before we get back in the field. If I die on that day, I want my headstone to say that I was your wife."

Deeks didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't that. "Listen, Kensi, I'm definitely not trying to talk you out of this. But are you sure you want to get engaged, hell, get married, in response to Michelle's death?"

"It's not like we just started dating, Deeks, or that this is unexpected. We own a home and live together. You bought me a ring. You've pre-proposed, proposed while I was in a coma, and tried to propose again. You've referred to me as your fiancée so many times I almost forget we're not engaged. We've fantasized about our wedding on the beach. I think it's safe to say we were already going to get married one day."

"You just want that day to be soon."

"As soon as possible," Kensi corrected. "If Michelle's death does nothing else, let it be a reminder that life's too damned short and we should start living ours together, as husband and wife, now."

He let a smile bloom, "So you're saying you're ready for me to propose again?"

"No, I think you've done your fair share of proposing to me, babe. It's my turn." Deeks looked at Kensi expectantly. When she figured out what he was waiting for, she rolled her eyes and said, "What? I'm not going to propose to you in my car on a stakeout without a ring for my finger."

"Your finger? If you're the one popping the question, shouldn't you have a ring for me?"

"Well, yeah, I could. But you already picked out such a beautiful one, it'd be a shame for it to go to waste."

"Not to mention, diamonds just don't work with my coloring. I'm more or a black onyx kind of guy. Or maybe a nice aquamarine, to match my eyes."

Kensi chuckled, the closest thing to a laugh she'd experienced since Michelle had been abducted. "So when this," she nodded at the building to indicate their current case, "is over, we'll go somewhere that's not this car, and I'll ask you to marry me and you'll give me that ring that's probably still in your pocket?"

"Yes. I will. I do."

Kensi narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm just practicing!"

"And then we'll head to the nearest county clerk's office and get a marriage license?"

"Sounds like a plan. I can get in touch with Elliot Soto, I think I told you about him. I used to work for him at the public defender's office and he was appointed to the bench last year. See if he can meet us at the beach one evening and do the honors."

"I'll contact our moms and fill them in, and then all we have to do is get rings and set the date."

"So just us, the moms, and Monty, on the beach? What about the team? And the Cupcake Girls?"

Kensi shook her head and looked at him, "This is just for us. We probably shouldn't mention it anyone at work for a few weeks. I don't think Sam will mind, ultimately. Do you?"

"No, he'd probably be glad that a little good could come from this."

"Maybe in the fall we can have a party with everyone?"

"Everyone?"

"You know, the people we would have invited to the wedding."

"You mean everyone from work, the Cupcake Girls, anyone who's ever invited you to their wedding, and the guys from sniper school? Oh, and all their plus-ones?" His tone made it clear that Deeks' opinion of the idea hadn't changed since they'd last discussed it.

Kensi smiled as she scanned the area again, "Alright. I can make it work with the team, the girls, the guys, no reciprocal invites, and no plus-ones."

Movement at the corner of his eye caught Deeks' attention. It was Khaled. Kensi started to put her com back in at the same time, having spotted one of Khaled's men as well. He did the same and alerted Ops. "Eric, Nell, we've got eyes on them. We're moving in," he said as he pulled out his gun and opened the car door.

At five o'clock that evening, Kensi and Deeks exited the LA county clerk's office hand in hand, their newly-signed marriage license tucked in his back pocket.

It had been three o'clock by the time Sam had identified and dealt with the men responsible for Michelle's murder, and four when the rest of the team could finally separate from each other. They'd had no time to really process the events of the last two days, and found they were reluctant to part company right away.

Deeks and Kensi were the first to leave the mission, hoping to get to a clerk's office before closing time. They'd arrived just as the doors were being locked at four-thirty, and were let in only because Deeks charmed the older female security guard.

There was a park nearby and Kensi insisted on heading there instead of back to the car. On the way they passed an ice cream truck, and she bought them both soft-serve cones. With sprinkles, of course.

Now that Michelle's case was closed, Sam was heading to Aiden and Kamran and then needed to make his wife's final arrangements. He declined all offers of help, which surprised no one. Hetty, also unsurprisingly, gave the team the rest of the week off. No one was due back until after Michelle's funeral.

On a park bench, between licks of ice cream, Kensi and Deeks determined what they needed to do for their own major life event and how they would get it done between attending Michelle's wake and funeral services.

"I have to be honest, Kens. This just feels off, don't you think? Planning to head from the wake one night to a jeweler to pick up wedding bands? You don't think it's a little disrespectful?"

Kensi shook her head, "No, I don't. You know my grandfather was Jewish, so I'm relatively familiar with those customs. Do you know why the groom traditionally steps on a glass at the end of the wedding ceremony?"

Deeks had no idea what this had to do with his concern, but he answered anyway. "Something to do with the destruction of a temple, isn't it?"

"Yes, the Temple of Jerusalem. Invoking such a solemn event at a happy occasion is meant to remind the couple that life holds sorrow as well as joy, and that they'll be committed to each other even in hard times. I kind of think of us planning our wedding while we're in the process of saying goodbye to our friend as the inverse of that."

"We know, all too well, about the bad times in life, and this is a reminder of the good times?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Some light in the darkness."

Deeks considered for a few seconds longer. Sliding his arm around Kensi, he kissed the crown of her head and said, "I like it."

"Good," Kensi nodded with finality. "So we're doing this?"

"Well, since we have the license that says we're going to, I guess we may as well," he teased.

After they finished their cones they stayed on the bench and settled on more details, the most important being that if Deeks' judge friend was available, they would plan to get married the day after Michelle's funeral.

The second-most important conclusion they reached was that they shouldn't tell their mothers about anything until after Michelle was laid to rest. They knew how fond Roberta and Julia had become of Michelle at that first Christmas dinner together, and assumed both women would want to attend the funeral. They also knew that Roberta Deeks would be unable to keep such a secret as her son's engagement and impending wedding for long.

The marriage license obtained, the details of the wedding preparation roughly laid out, there remained only one thing more to do. Kensi thought the park, now nearing dusk, was as lovely a spot as any. "One more thing," she added as Deeks stood to leave.

"Really?" he whined. "We just basically organized an entire wedding in a couple of hours. Whatever it is, I'm thinking it can wait. We need to find a food truck. You're about to get hangry, Princess."

"It can't wait. Come here," Kensi insisted as she grabbed Deeks' hand and pulled him back. When he was standing directly in front of her, she took his other hand in hers as well, but she remained seated on the bench. She met his eyes but didn't speak.

Deeks now understood what was happening, and he let Kensi take the lead. As many times as he'd pre-proposed, proposed, or tried to propose, not to mention all the possible ideas he'd come up with that would both surprise and be worthy of the love of his life, this was never how Deeks imagined their final proposal playing out.

"Thanks for doing this for me, Deeks. I know it seems strange to you, but it just feels so right to me. And I hope that when we're standing on the beach in a few days exchanging our vows, it feels that way to you too."

"I get it, baby, I do," Deeks grinned at his unplanned use of the phrase.

"Good. Because I love you, with all my heart. You and I haven't had the easiest time of things lately. Easy hasn't described our lives for a long time, now that I think about it. And I'm pretty sure reality's going to hit us hard when we get home tonight and really let ourselves start to grieve Michelle."

Kensi let go of Deeks' hand just long enough to wipe away the tear that escaped, but Deeks beat her to it. She leaned into his hand just a bit before continuing, "But I can't imagine going through any of this without you by my side, for the rest our lives. I want to be your wife and I want you to be my husband, for however long that may be. Marty Deeks, will you marry me?"

He bent down and kissed her once, his hand still on her cheek, and breathed, "Yes."

AN2: This was not the story I was visualizing when I wrote "Marry Me" last week and joked about having another proposal story up my sleeve if we didn't get one in Uncaged. Honestly, I thought Michelle would survive or at least her fate would be unknown at the end of that episode. Then I could happily post my cutesy, fluffy proposal, and await the real one.

But no, we got heartache instead. And the promise of vengeance in Unleashed. So this is what I came up with. I had every intention of ending the story where it started: in the car. Except I realized that they still weren't actually engaged by that time, and all I'd given you was another pre-proposal. Hopefully where I took it and how I got there was worth the read. Let me know what you think: reviews are so appreciated!

Also, I'm marking this Complete for the moment, but I possibly have a second chapter in mind (because who couldn't use a Densi wedding this summer?). I don't know if I have enough in that mind to make it worth a whole chapter though, so stay tuned!