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"Hey, Spencer," Morgan greeted when Reid opened his apartment door. "How are you do-"

Reid stepped forward and yanked him into a hug, but it was the vicelike grip of a man desperately clinging to something precious instead of a friendly greeting. Morgan hugged back, awkwardly, his hands full of take-out. Spencer hung on with a strength previously unknown to the man he called brother when Morgan tried to pull back after several long moments. He felt Spencer shaking and heard his breath begin to hitch, when, suddenly Spencer released him, and hurried to his couch. He sat down with his back to Morgan and hunched his shoulders.

Morgan stood there watching him for a moment, then shut the door, and put down his bags of fragrant food, and approached Reid's sofa.

"I'm sorry," Reid said as he wiped away tears.

"Why are you apologizing?"

Spencer shrugged. "I don't know. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep when I lay down. I wasn't thinking straight."

"Hey," Morgan said, "Do not apologize for needing a hug. I need them too, every so often."

Finally, Spencer smiled, but it was the smile of an exhausted child at the end of endurance. "I never thought I'd hear Derek Morgan, kick-ass former FBI agent, admit the need for a hug."

Morgan chuckled. "Well, don't tell anyone, okay."

"Yeah."

"How's your mom?"

Spencer sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "She's as good as can be expected after her ordeal. She refused to stop hugging me at the FBI, but I didn't care."

"Hey, she's your mom. There's nothin' like a hug from mama."

Morgan grinned broadly, and Spencer smiled back. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I am!"

"She's exhausted, though and she went right to bed when we returned. I told her that you were going to visit with breakfast, but she only looked at me, you know the way moms do."

"I've seen that look a few times," Morgan agreed, gravelly. "Moms know how to put us in our places, better than anyone."

"Even Hotch," Reid said, and they laughed. "I miss him."

"Me too, kid."

They sat in silence for a long while. "You want something to eat?"

Reid nodded. "I'm starved."

Morgan unpacked the take-out bags, and Reid made a pot of coffee. Morgan shook his head and chuckled. "You and your coffee."

"I haven't had a decent cup in months," Reid defended as he watched the coffeemaker begin to gurgle and hiss.

"If you drink that, you won't sleep, and you need sleep, Spencer."

Reid's eyebrows went up. "Trust me, the kind of exhaustion I feel will not succumb to this level of caffeine. I'd need at least three pots to overcome it."

"Wow, three pots, huh, that's impressive," Morgan observed.

Spencer laughed, and finally, Morgan began to see his friend emerge from behind haunted and shocked eyes.

They took their sustenance the sofa and coffee table. Spencer pushed aside the family scrapbooks and began to shovel down his eggs and bacon like a man who hadn't eaten in months.

"Slow down, or you'll choke, and I'll have to perform the Heimlich on you," Morgan said around biscuits and gravy.

Reid simply looked at him and continued to inhale his breakfast. Morgan shrugged and began to enjoy his favorite comfort food, although he realized it wasn't nearly as tasty as his mother's cooking. When Spencer finally finished and took another gulp of coffee, Morgan said. "Talk to me, man."

Spencer pushed aside his plate and met Morgan's eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"I'm not angry that you didn't want to see me. I do understand, Spencer."

"I screwed up. I put my mother in mortal danger, and I've put my team in a terrible position, especially Emily. I wouldn't blame them if they never spoke to me again."

"Kid," Morgan began seriously. "You still don't get it. We are family! We're not blood, but we're still family. JJ said once that you do what you have to do to protect your family. The team will welcome you with open arms when the time is right for you to go back."

"What if they don't reinstate me, Morgan? What if I go back and something worse happens? We still haven't found Scratch.

Morgan met his eyes forthrightly despite the tightening in his gut. "The team is going to find Scratch, and when they do, and this is over, they will reinstate you, and you'll continue to kick ass as the smartest, toughest, and most compassionate SSA the Bureau has ever seen."

"What if I'm not what you think?"

Morgan continued to keep his eyes on his brother. "There's nothing you could do to change my opinion of you, Spencer Reid. Do you understand me?"

"I poisoned six men because two inmates killed my friend in front of me. They wanted me to move Heroin for them, and I took the opportunity to exact revenge. What does that make me?"

"It makes you human, for one."

"Morgan –"

"No, let me finish," Morgan interrupted. "You did what you had to do in an impossible situation with no back-up. Had it been me, I would've done the same."

"JJ told me the same thing."

"JJ is a smart woman who loves you, kid. Listen to her."

"I did." He grinned, and Morgan said. "What?"

"You'd never be in my position. You're a classic alpha, and those inmates would've thought twice about messing with you."

"No! That's not true, and I think you know it."

Reid blew out a breath. "I suppose you're right."

"I am, and you are not the same skinny kid I met over twelve years ago. You've grown and changed into a man that I will always be proud of, no matter what."

"Cat said I couldn't come back from crossing that line. I told her to watch me."

"Now that sounds like the man I know."

"What if it's a lie? What if I can't step back over that line?"

"You don't have to," Morgan said. "You only have to go forward from here. If you let her live inside your head, as a reminder, then you've truly lost."

"How can I let it go?" Reid cried and shot to his feet. "I beat her twice, and she's still in solitary with time to plot out another hell for me. How do I protect my mother, the team, myself, tell me that, Derek?"

"I can't," Morgan admitted. "I can only tell you that I believe she's done with you because she won't risk losing to you a third time. It's a matter of pride for her, and it'll override her sense of revenge. There are two things you can count on."

"What?"

Morgan studied Reid and nearly smiled at his friend standing there with his arms crossed and irritation blazing in his eyes.

"I'll always have your back, and Penelope Garcia will not let this go. I'm sure she's already planning how to make the powers that be at the Bureau of Prisons suffer in some untraceable way."

Reid chuckled, then tears gathered in his eyes. "I wish –"

"Stop! Don't go there, Spencer. You did what you thought was best for your mother. I would've done the same."

Reid opened his mouth, and Morgan shushed him with a look. "Don't say I wouldn't because I've spent the better part of my life looking out for my mama, Sarah, and Desiree. I love them more than my life, and I know you feel the same way about your mom.

"I don't know where to start to make this right for my mother. I find myself hoping that her Alzheimers will make her forget about her kidnapping and my time in prison."

"Maybe she will."

"I don't know," Reid shoved his hands through his hair and rubbed at his eyes.

"Look, man, I can see you're exhausted. I'll get out of your way and let you get some sleep."

"No, it's okay."

"You need sleep," Morgan protested.

"I don't want to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I relive it again."

"You can't go without sleep, Spencer.

"Alright, I'll try."

Morgan stood and hugged Reid a second time. "I'm just a phone call away if you need me."

"As soon as I figure out what to do that's best for mom, and I find out about my reinstatment, I'm flying out to see you. I miss Hank."

"He misses you, too."

Reid pulled back and shook his head. "He's a year old, Derek and he hasn't seen me since he was about six weeks."

"You don't know my boy," Morgan said proudly. "I have a photo of you on my desk. I show it to him every day and tell him stories about you and me. He points at it and smiles when I show it to him. He knows there's something special about you."

Tears filled Reid's eyes. "Thanks, Derek. You don't know what that means to me."

"Well of course I tell him about you. You're his godfather and surrogate older brother, remember."

"Yes, I remember."

They looked at each other for several moments, and then Morgan said. "You do what you have to do to get your head right, Spencer. See someone, talk to them and then you come see my family. We'll be waiting."

"I promise," Reid said and they hugged one last time.

Morgan slapped him on the back and pulled away. "You are stronger than any prison inmate that beat you, threatened you and tried to break you. You are stronger than Cat Adams and all of her sadistic games, remember that, pretty boy."

Reid smiled at his favorite nickname. "Get out of here so I can sleep, Derek."

Morgan gave him his patented smart ass grin. "See, you're giving me orders. Keep it up!"

"I will if you promise me you won't tell Hank about our stuck in an elevator adventure."

Morgan laughed loud and long with Spencer. "I'd forgotten about that."

"No you hadn't," Reid countered.

"All right, smart guy. I remember, but trust me, I'll keep that to myself."

"Thanks again for coming to see me and talking sense to me."

"What can I say, I care about you. I'm not sure why, you're a genius who's annoyingly attractive and you cheat a poker."

"No I don't," Reid said around a grin.

"You keep telling yourself that, man."

"Would you leave, please. I'm exhausted and you're going to miss your flight."

"I have a couple of hours, but yes, I'll leave you alone. Take care of yourself, Spencer."

"I will."

"You know…"

"Yes I do, Morgan. Bye."

"Bye."

Morgan left and Spencer stood staring at the door for a long time. He smiled then, frowned and went to the sofa. Sleep called to him so he lay down and tried to think of all the good things in his life, family, friends, and love. Cat Adams had no idea the power of true love and for one instant he pitied her as he dropped into the realm of Hypnos and dreams.