Author Notes:

This started out as an ongoing RP between Black-Haired Girl and myself. We saw that the 1x3 fandom needed more love, so after 300+ pages of writing, we've decided to start turning the RP into a fic. Originally, we began the story with the content in Chapter 2, but decided that we needed to add some context in the beginning if we were going to turn the story into a fic, so we went back and wrote this chapter.

A huge thank you to Black-Haired Girl for being a positive light in my creative life, encouraging me to finally share my writing, and for being the most amazing RP partner I could ever ask for!

This is an ongoing story. For progress updates, reference material and related artwork please follow us on tumblr at hiiroyui and preventeragenttrowabloom

AC 201 January | Cinq Kingdom

"What is your occupation?"

Heero blinked at the question. It was the third such question he had encountered that night, and he was growing tired of having to explain himself. It was times like these that reminded him why he hated formal political functions. Nobody cared to ask about you as a person. They didn't want to hear stories about your life experiences or how you came to form your beliefs. All they cared about was where you got your formal education, who you worked for, how much you made working for them or how far your personal realm of influence reached. Sadly Heero had none of the things that these people inquired about, and he retreated from these conversations, made lame excuses for why he wasn't employed at the moment, or had to be bailed out from the awkward questioning by Relena, who was ever the gregarious stateswoman.

"Oh, Heero's my personal attaché, aren't you?" Relena had saved him once again. He could feel his face become warm with embarrassment. The reality was that he could have had a job by now, but he couldn't find anything that seemed to fit. He had considered joining up with the recently formed Preventer organization in Copenhagen, but the idea of running off to fight more faceless enemies wasn't something he was comfortable with yet. The man who had asked the question wrinkled his nose at him and proceeded to talk about himself, as Heero found most overstuffed suits at these parties tended to do. Heero could have cared less about this man's Fortune 500 investments. He decided a retreat was in order. He slipped his arm carefully from Relena's delicately pale one and muttered a polite apology before vanishing into the crowd behind her.

It was the 5th Anniversary of the Eve War and the Earth Sphere Unified Nations was throwing what they jokingly referred to as a 'Peace Party' at Relena's rebuilt Peacecraft family home in Cinq. This party had been all Relena had talked about for three months. Now that it had finally happened she was thriving in her element, surrounded by aristocrats and senators discussing the fate of the world and their shallow hopes for Total Pacifism.

Heero wove through the ballroom as it shifted with tailored suits and glittering gowns. He ducked through a pair of intricately carved wooden French doors and ducked out onto the rear garden veranda and into the cold, night air. He knew this mansion like the back of his hand, and getting around the crowds and other party guests wouldn't be a problem. He slipped immediately to the right where a hidden gardener's path wove through yellow rose covered trellises and eventually opened up to a secluded ivy-covered white painted gazebo that overlooked the vast manicured expanse of the mansion's historic gardens. He leaned against the railing and looked up at the black night sky. He could see the familiar faint glow of L1 Colony floating static amongst the winking and shimmering stars.

There must have been a couple hundred people crowding the ballroom, and a third of those were currently standing around the heir of WEI, trying to squeeze in some conversation. It was stifling and Trowa felt like he couldn't breath. Quatre was good at playing this game, always cordial and patient, taking his time to talk with everyone who vied for his attention. Trowa was neither of those things, which meant that he ended up just standing around looking bored, usually perceived as the blonde's arm candy. They'd been in this particular corner of the room for what felt like 2 hours, and he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm going to get some fresh air." Trowa's lips hovered next to Quatre's ear. The blond nodded in his direction but said nothing. He was busy politely listening to the lady in front of him ramble on about the lack of decent shopping malls on L2. Such an important conversation.

The estate was huge and Trowa had no idea where he was going, but he remembered seeing a door in the hall that lead outside, so he headed in that direction. The form-fitting designer suit Quatre had insisted he wear tonight was strangling him. It probably wouldn't be acceptable to strip out of his uncomfortable clothes and walk around in his underwear for the rest of the night, so Trowa settled with reaching up and undoing the top button of his shirt once he was outside. The crisp winter air felt amazing against his skin. Trowa headed down the steps and into what looked like the estate's garden.

He had been walking around for nearly half an hour, letting himself get lost in the maze of shrubbery and flowers. Up ahead he could see a gazebo, and Trowa's curiosity guided his feet in that direction. As he got closer he noticed that the area wasn't as isolated as he had thought. There was someone standing inside, looking up at the sky. Trowa wasn't feeling very social right now, the introvert inside of him was exhausted and screaming to stay away, but the silhouette of the man looked familiar. Trowa ducked into the gazebo and put his hands in his pockets.

Heero's innate soldier instincts immediately detected movement nearby. He could hear footsteps approaching despite their quiet nature. He decided to wait and see if whoever was passing by detected him. Unfortunately they had. He assumed it was some random party guest who had taken the opportunity to snoop around the estate. As the figure entered the gazebo he straightened to a stand. He wanted to be alone, and he was prepared to lie to the intruder and tell them they weren't allowed to be there but his words evaporated from his mouth as soon as he formed them. He immediately recognized the tall, slim figure of Trowa Barton, a former comrade in arms. Heero's eyes widened as he took in the other man's fancy suit, a look that mirrored his own.

"Trowa..." he murmured the other man's name, both in acknowledgement and verification. He knew that Trowa and Quatre had been invited to the party, but he hadn't encountered either men the entire night. His shocked expression shifted to that of warm recognition. He stepped quickly across the gazebo and offered it to the former Heavyarms pilot. "It's nice to see you," he said quietly. For the first time that night he meant it.

"Heero." Trowa gave a nod of acknowledgement, shook his hand and stepped over to the railing and looked up at the clear view of the stars. He assumed the other man was out here for the same reason that he was: to get some fresh air and get away from the crowd inside. It seemed that the two young men were still very alike in many ways.

"I was hoping I'd run into you at some point tonight." Trowa couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Heero. He inhaled deeply and slowly let it out, feeling the muscles relax in his shoulders and neck. He hadn't realized he'd been so tense.

Heero returned to the railing and leaned his forearms against it. He clasped his hands together and matched Trowa's deep breath with his own.

"How are you enjoying the party?" It was a practiced question, and he was pretty sure he knew the answer to it.

The question earned a short chuckle from the taller man and a sarcastic response. "Having the time of my life."

Trowa looked to his right and studied his friend leaning next to him. Heero looked tired, and Trowa thought he could read sadness on the other man's attractive features. "How are you holding up?"

"I hate this shit." Heero confided with a smirk. He reached up to loosen his tie and yanked the knot down to the center of his chest before he thumbed open the top button of his collar. "There is no way anyone in that room is genuinely happy."

"I just don't fit in here." Trowa looked around at the well-manicured lawn and back at the large estate, which he had been told told had over 10 rooms. Who needed that many rooms? His green eyes landed their gaze back on Heero. "You seem out of place here, too." He knew Heero had been dating Relena on and off for over 5 years. That was a relationship Trowa didn't understand, and never took the time to try.

Heero glanced up at him and shrugged a shoulder before turning his eyes back up to the sky to study the ghostly dot that was L1 Colony just overhead. "I don't belong anywhere." He hadn't spoken this freely to anyone in a long time, and for a moment he pursed his lips to stop himself from continuing. He hadn't seen Trowa in a long while, but it seemed as if that stretch of time made no difference to his level of comfort around the other former pilot. He had spent a lot of time with Trowa during Operation Meteor and had spoken to him candidly in the past about many things, and tonight he felt just as comfortable as any previous night spent in greasy mobile suit hangars talking over circuit changes and minor repairs.

"I just don't understand the need to celebrate this day in this way," he confided plainly. "I feel like this entire event, the money that went into throwing this party- all of it. It could have been used better than this." He gestured to the gardens with a careless wave.

"It is a waste." Trowa replied bluntly. Even Quatre had agreed it was a bit over the top. He flipped himself around to lean with his back facing the railing and perched his hands behind him on both sides of his body. Trowa studied Heero as a comfortable silence fell over them.

"How have you been? It's been a while." Heero ran his hand through his messy hair to get it out of his face and looked up at him with interest. "How's Quatre? I'm sorry I haven't been by L4..."

He had had the opportunity a few times but opted not to go with Relena. He had decided that she would be busy with WIP and that he would have just been wandering the colony without a purpose. Though now he felt guilty for not calling in to visit his old friend.

"Quatre's schedule grows busier by the day." Trowa shrugged, a hint of bitterness in his tone. "Nothing else is really new. I'm headed back to the circus next week." He'd spent the last 3 years dating Quatre, but hadn't moved in with the blond yet. Trowa wasn't ready to leave his circus family, and Quatre was traveling all over the place for his company and exercising his budding influence in world politics.

"Ah." Heero straightened again and turned to lean his back against the railing beside him as he crossed his arms over his fitted suit. "I didn't know you were still with that. I thought it was just a cover." He recalled being kept with the circus after his incident detonating Wing. The corner of his mouth perked slightly at the memory of Catherine force feeding him once he had regained consciousness. Her nursing skills were top notch. "How's your sister?"

"She's doing well. Still sassy and overprotective." Trowa's lips curled up into a fond smile at the mention of his sister. Normally he wasn't one for small talk, but he didn't mind it with Heero. And this by far beat standing in that stuffy ballroom. "What about you? How are things?"

"Boring." Heero admitted coldly. He closed his eyes and involuntarily clenched his jaw. He didn't mind being completely honest with Trowa. "I envy you having the circus. It must be nice having something to go back to, and to identify with."

"If you're bored, why don't you change things up?" Trowa watched Heero frown at that advice.

It wasn't the advice that had made Heero frown so much as the fact that he had tried before and with little success. Every attempt to try something new or different had always ended the same way. He found himself quickly bored with whatever he tried. Everything felt shallow and meaningless. He felt like a junkie looking for his next dangerous adrenaline high and sadly in this new peaceful world he had yet to find it.

Heero opened his eyes and studied the crawling ivy that engulfed nearly half of the gazebo. He could see movement high within one of the eaves as a bright yellow orb waver spider busied herself with repairs to her web. He sighed and watched as his breath hung like a specter in the air in front of his face before dissipating into the darkness. For the first time since he had come outside he realized how cold it was. January was normally a bitter month in Cinq, and they had been lucky not to have any snow yet. That didn't keep the ice from forming nightly. He could make out faint frosty crystals forming on some of the withering ivy.

"I've tried," he replied. He tightened his arms across his chest and tucked his chilled fingers under his arms. "It seems that there isn't an appropriate place for me." He was going to leave it at that, but when he glanced to the side he saw what appeared to be pure understanding reflected in the taller man's eyes. Heero frowned again and looked away for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. He hadn't spoken to anyone about this, about how he felt. He supposed that if anyone could understand where he was coming from Trowa could. They both were stuck in similar situations, with romantic interests who came from parallel worlds. Worlds that they didn't belong in. "I don't know how to make myself fit. Here... anywhere. Every time I try to find myself and explore new things I end up feeling like none of it's worthwhile. Like none of it matters." He looked up from examining his fine Italian leather shoes and held Trowa's now intense gaze. "I feel like shit, because I fought so hard to make this world the way it is now, but I can't find it in myself to enjoy it."

Trowa's heart clenched in his chest as he listened to the other man openly confess his feelings. Heero's words resonated deep within him. More than anyone, he understood what Heero was going through. They had always shared a special mutual understanding and innate ability to detect the other's intentions without every having to voice them. But here Heero was, vocally opening up to him, showing his rare vulnerable and confused side that Trowa doubted anyone else got to see.

The taller ex-pilot was an adrenaline junky, too, which was why he'd accepted the offer to join Preventer on a case-by-case basis. Being an acrobat and aerialist at the circus helped to feed his adrenaline addiction, but it was nothing like being out on a mission. He needed the thrill of the risk, needed to let the soldier within come out and play once in a while.

After the war Trowa finally had a place to go back to, a place to call home. The circus. That was his 'appropriate place', where he fit in when the life of a solider was no longer needed. Maybe Heero just hadn't found his place yet. Trowa didn't think this stuffy estate, or being on call 24 hours a day for Relena was Heero's place.

"Remember when you once told me that there's nothing wrong with acting on your emotions? Maybe yours are telling you to change things up… Have you given more thought to joining Preventer?"

Heero raised an eyebrow at the mention of the ESUN's personal weapons and war prevention agency. The truth was he didn't know whether he would be a good fit for that place, either. At the end of the Eve War he had sworn to never take another life, and in that promise he had tentatively included using force. He hadn't held a gun since the day he had dropped his last pistol at Mariemaia's feet.

"I have thought about it," he admitted faintly. He turned his face away from Trowa and settled his gaze upon the orb waver, who now hung in the center of her perfect circular webbing. "I don't know if I am a good fit for them, either." He hadn't told anyone about his vow to never kill again. Relena had heard him say it, but she hadn't brought it up since. When Wufei and Une inquired upon him the first time as to whether he would consider joining Preventer he hadn't given them a reason why he wouldn't, mainly because he wasn't sure himself whether he really meant it or not.

"I vowed never to kill again," Heero explained, the words rolling past his hardened lips as if it ached to say them. He hadn't vocalized this sentiment since that day in the bunker. "When I broke into Mariemaia's stronghold. I ... my gun wasn't loaded, but I had to go through the motions. I had to kill her, to finish my mission. I had to release her from Treize Khushrenada's ghost..." He knew he sounded crazy, but it all seemed to make sense at the time. "And after I pulled the trigger I felt relieved. It was finally over, and I made the promise to myself then that I wouldn't kill anyone ever again."

He shifted his weight and dropped his arms from his chest to shove them into his pockets. The tip of his nose began to sting from the cold and his cheeks glowed pink from the dry, chilled air and his embarrassment from relaying the memory. "I'm worried if I join Preventer I won't be able to do the job the way I need to. To be effective. To be a good agent, with this mental block I now have."

"You don't have to kill to be effective." The statement was obvious, but Heero needed to hear those words anyway. Trowa pushed off the rail and took a step closer, green eyes still studying Heero's face. He could understand the vow to never kill again. It was a something he'd struggled with on his own after the war, but getting involved with Preventer had helped him come to the conclusion that sometimes the only way to keep peace was to use force.

"You're right," Heero replied slowly as he watched him move closer. He continued his heavy lean against the railing, shrugged his shoulders and sighed. His breath hung for a moment in the air between them before it fell away to the ground. "I just worry that I'll hesitate. That one of my comrades will be in trouble and that I'll have to make a choice of whether to use lethal violence or not, and my hesitation will cause someone else to die." He lifted a hand from his pocket to rub the side of his neck. It felt strange forming these thoughts into words.

"That's always a risk." Trowa thought Heero had been hanging around Relena too much. He smirked and looked away, back out at the stars. It was starting to get colder with every passing minute, but the chill didn't bother him. "I guess you'll just have to think about it. No one at Preventer would force you to give up your vow never to kill again. There's work to be done that doesn't require the use of weapons."

"I will think about it," Heero replied flatly, though he genuinely appreciated Trowa's concern. They sat in comfortable silence for a long time with the only the muffled sounds of the ballroom's waltzes drifting outside. He crossed his arms again and shrank into his suit jacket. He was used to the cold of space, so the ambient chill of Earth affected him very little in comparison. It was nice to have someone he could just be around and not feel obligated to fill the silence with pointless banter. It seemed very little had changed with their friendship since Operation Meteor and the Eve War. Heero had spent many silent hours with Trowa on reconnaissance or simply side-by-side wrenching on their mobile suits. He glanced over at the handsome figure studying the sky beside him. Trowa had always been one of the few people he considered a friend. The guy had helped him out countless times during Operation Meteor and Heero would never forget that he owed the former Heavyarms pilot his very life. He recalled waking up in the circus trailer with his sister waiting at his bedside and the look on Trowa's face as he walked in.

"Were you worried that I wouldn't ever wake up?" Heero vocalized his thoughts. "After I self-detonated, when you walked into the trailer you seemed surprised." Heero had been unconscious for a month, and when Trowa had told him how much time had lapsed his initial thoughts had nothing to do with his mission or the events he had missed, but that Trowa had saw to him for such an extended length of time. He had felt guilty in that moment because he knew he wouldn't have wasted his own mission time to do the same for him.

"Yes. You were unconscious for a long time. I was worried we'd have a comatose body lying in our trailer for however long, and we'd have to make the decision to take your life and throw you out. Catherine would have been upset. Had you not woken up…" Trowa would have been upset too. He looked back over at Heero. "But you woke up." And he was glad for that. He had looked up to the other pilot during the war and had admired him for portraying the role of a 'perfect soldier', as he willingly accepted all orders to carry out the mission. Of course Heero Yuy had been far from perfect, and Trowa knew that now. They were all flawed.

"Had I not, I know you would have done the right thing." The idea of Trowa having to kill him didn't bother him. If anything he would have rather had a fellow Gundam pilot end his suffering over anyone else. An icy breeze rushed through the gazebo and caught his body by surprise. It forced him to catch his breath for a moment before speaking again. "I never really thanked you for doing that for me. I had been in a bad place before then, and I had acted out of desperation. If you and your sister had not taken the time to revive me ... " Well he wouldn't have been able to finish his mission and save the Earth, though he suspected that any one of the other four young Gundam pilots would have been able to do as he had done. Another long silence passed before he spoke again, "I really owe you more than anyone."

Trowa shook his head. "You don't owe me anything." There was no need to outwardly thank him. He'd already received the unspoken gratitude years ago, and wouldn't hesitate if he had to save Heero all over again. "You gave me advice back then that changed my outlook on life." That was better than any formal acknowledgement.

Heero nodded. "Now if only I could take my own advice..."

Heero had been told by Doctor J to act on his emotions and that he should let those feelings dictate his actions during his assignment. He had applied that thinking to Relena as well, and had used that logic to save her many times. So when the Eve War ended and things began to calm down he decided to try and explore those feelings for Relena. He loved her, there was no doubt about that, but the WAY he loved her had recently come into question.

He hadn't spoken to her about this yet, but it was something that he had been considering for a long time. He loved her, but he felt like his physical attraction with her was lukewarm at best. He hadn't explored his sexuality before Operation Meteor. There had been no opportunity to, but he always had an undeniable attraction towards the same sex. Relena had been the first woman he had felt a strong connection with, but it wasn't the same brand of attraction he had for other men. He had decided to ignore that difference, but recently their relationship had started becoming more physical and he was finding his interactions with her felt unnatural. He wasn't sure if she had noticed.

He pursed his lips and turned to study Trowa, who was looking down at the gardens with his eyes narrowed in thought. Trowa and Quatre had been together for a while, and Heero felt that they were a handsome couple. He could detect some of the other man's frustration with their differences in status, but overall it was clear that Trowa loved the Winner heir. He felt like he could talk to Trowa about anything and began to wonder if this was a topic he could openly communicate with him about. He hadn't told anyone any of this, not even Duo, who he considered one of his closest friends. He didn't know how to approach this topic aside from being completely open and straightforward.

"I'm having relationship trouble, and I'm wondering if you could maybe answer a few questions I have... regarding sexuality."

Trowa turned towards his friend again, his expression flat but nonjudgmental. "Of course." The two had never spoken about such personal topics such as these before, and now he was really curious what Heero would ask regarding sexuality.

Heero hesitated and had just gathered the nerve to speak again when the sound of nearby laughter broke through the tall boxy brush nearby. He looked out from the gazebo and saw a small cluster of clearly intoxicated partygoers wandering the garden with boisterous laughter and wine bottles in hand. He sighed. Suddenly the cold seemed unbearable.

"Do you want to come inside?" He asked casually as he pushed himself from the railing to a full stand. He caught Trowa's affirmative nod and led him through a series of paths to a side door. It was locked. He rummaged through his pocket for the estate servant's key he had been given, unlocked the door and led Trowa inside to one of the small private family libraries. He slid through the maze of antique furniture and desks and found the light switch, which illuminated the cozy, shelf-lined room. Despite the distinct scent of old paper text, the room itself was tidy, well dusted and much warmer than the icy garden outside. He gestured to the antique couch beside the unlit fireplace before he sat down himself.

Heero ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh before finally just coming out with it. "I think I'm gay, or... maybe bisexual... but I don't know which."

Trowa took a seat next to Heero. "Oh?" To be honest, he wasn't really surprised to hear it. Trowa had always been curious about Heero's sexuality and had questioned it but never intruded upon the other ex-pilot's personal life. Duo used to tease that Heero was a closeted gay. Just look at those tight spandex he used to wear. "What makes you say that?" He lifted his right arm up and draped it over the back of the couch while he gave the shorter man his full attention. What a curious conversation…

"I've always felt attracted to men, though I suppose I haven't ever really acted on it. I love Relena, but I'm finding that... I just can't connect to her physically. She's beautiful," he said almost breathlessly, "it isn't her. It's me. Any time anything starts getting more serious aside from kissing or simple touching I start feeling uncomfortable. Like I am lying to her, or I have to try to get into it... " This all sounded horrible once he had put it to words. He felt his face grow warm with embarrassment, and he immediately regretted bringing it up. What a shitbag he must come off as. Here he was in her family home, sitting a room away questioning his feelings for her. He rubbed his face with his hand and sighed into his palm before crossing his arms tightly across his chest. "I guess I'm just confused."

"It's ok to feel confused." Trowa could see the guilt and shame written across the other man's face. Heero had made it clear he'd never messed around with a man before, and Trowa was pretty sure Relena was the only person he'd been intimate with. Maybe Heero was bisexual? Trowa was, and had been so for as long as he could remember. Unfortunately, the only way to explore his sexuality was to put a hold on his relationship with Relena. "Like me, you didn't have a normal childhood, didn't experience what most teenagers experience. It makes sense that you don't fully understand your sexuality. You shouldn't feel bad about that…"

"I just don't know what I should do. Continue on as we are, or... " or break it off, which he knew would absolutely crush Relena. "What if I'm not gay? What if I'm not bi? What if this is just some sort of convoluted, fucked up side effect from such an unusual childhood? I don't know if hurting Relena would be worth finding this out. The idea seems so selfish." He grabbed his tie and loosened it further with a frown. He felt stifled but more than anything restricted. He couldn't find himself, even in this way. The notion had become acid in his throat, constantly eating away at him every chance it got. Every time she touched him, even in a gentle embrace, he began to analyze his own thoughts and feelings. Did he like her touch because she was a girl, or because she was Relena Peacecraft, the idol of Total Pacifism? "I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble on about this. This isn't really the appropriate time to talk about this..."

"It's fine." Trowa studied Heero's sad face and tried to think of something to say that would ease his friend's fears and anxieties. Before he realized what he was doing his body seemed to move on its own accord. He reached out to touch Heero, and his knuckles brushed across his cheek. Trowa held his breath as he waited to see what the smaller man would do. He was curious. He wanted to know how he'd respond to having another man touch him this way. It was a crazy thing to do , and Trowa was fully aware that he might get punched for invading Heero's personal space. "How does… that feel?"

Heero's eyes immediately widened as Trowa's hand came at his face. He was caught off guard, and his body automatically tensed in response, prepared to protect itself. His hand shot up just as Trowa's knuckles grazed his cheek, and he roughly snatched the other man's narrow wrist. His automatic instinct was to pull away and so he began to tilt the taller man's hand away from his face. His eyes met Trowa's. He could feel the muscles in the former Heavyarms pilot's wrist tense within his hand and felt the heavy throb of his pulse beneath his fingertips. The place where Trowa's knuckles touched his flesh tingled. His lips reflexively parted and his eyebrows lifted to accommodate his wide, Prussian blue stare.

He couldn't believe what Trowa had just done to him, and he couldn't believe how electrified he suddenly felt at having been touched like that by his friend. He frowned and looked away for a second before he turned to lock his his gaze upon him once again, only this time with determination.

Heero needed to know what this meant and he realized that Trowa was trying to show him. He eased the back of Trowa's hand carefully against his cheek and let it rest against his face once again. He loosened his grip on the other man's arm and dropped his hand into his lap. "I... don't know..." he murmured.

Trowa felt encouraged to continue. He curiously trailed the tip of his index finger across Heero's strong jawline and studied its masculine curve. His finger ran down to the underside of Heero's chin where he grabbed it firmly. Trowa tilted the shorter man's face up towards his own, and slowly leaned in until their lips were inches apart. "What about this?" He felt the heat radiating off his friend's body.

Heero blinked as his chin was grabbed and tilted. He stared up at Trowa with a look of deep concentration, surprised that the other man was being so forward with him. Was there really a need to be awkward and shy around him? Heero was pretty sure that Trowa was the primary person who cared for him while he was recovering in that circus trailer and now he was certain that he was. He could still vividly recall the pressure of these same fingers against his chin manipulating his face in a similar way. Back then he had been slipping in and out of consciousness, but he could recall the occasional moment where someone was moving him, rolling him, wiping his face with a warm, moist cloth. He immediately recognized this and knew now that it had been Trowa. He recognized the other man's scent immediately, an indescribable but pleasant smell that was now accentuated by the scent of champagne.

He felt himself being drawn forward, as if Trowa's lips had their own magnetic pull. He suddenly realized he wanted to kiss him, and he felt intensely guilty for it.

"This feels nice." He replied honestly, though his words didn't quite sum up the absolute overload of sensation he was feeling in his presence. Had Trowa's face always been this gorgeous? "It makes me want to kiss you," he admitted.

Trowa was fighting the urge to kiss Heero. He couldn't let himself get caught up in the moment, but he'd be lying if he didn't admit his attraction to him. Those perfect lips were right there, practically begging to be kissed. What else would ex Wing pilot let him do?

No. He couldn't go any further. They were both in committed relationships and Trowa would never cheat on Quatre. He pulled away and let his hand carefully drop from Heero's chin. "I know you don't want to hear this, but the only way to continue exploring these feelings is to take a break from your current relationship and get out there to try stuff with new partners."

Heero frowned as Trowa's hand dropped from his face. He was suddenly thrusted back into the reality that was the party, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the former Heavyarms pilot's words. "You're right. I am just afraid of how Relena will take it."

"I know you don't want to hurt her, but it would end up hurting her even more if you continued to live this lie." Trowa straightened up and put some distance between their bodies.

Heero hadn't thought of it that way. He sighed and nodded. Was it hot in there? He freed another button from his throat and turned away to study the nearby bookshelf. "Are you gay or bisexual, Trowa?" Duo had mentioned that Trowa was bi, but Heero had only ever known of Quatre being his partner.

"I've been with both men and women." Trowa answered casually. He felt a vibration in his pocket and fished out his phone. Quatre had texted him and was wondering where he had gone off to. It seemed that their absence hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Oh," Heero breathed. He noticed Trowa checking his phone. He raised an eyebrow at it but didn't pry. Trowa's casual admission made his face grow hot. The other man had been with both sexes, and his nonchalance made it seem like it was no big deal. Heero, on the other hand, was seriously struggling with this part of him, and wondered how Trowa could be so open about these things.

The way the other man had touched him without hesitation made him wonder if Trowa was actually much more practiced than he was. What had just happened between them suddenly dominated his thoughts. He could still feel the other man's touch lingering against his chin.

It must not have been a big deal to Trowa. If he had been with as many people as his lax attitude implied then Heero blushing on a couch across from him would mean nothing. Not that it should. Trowa had Quatre, and he had Relena.

"Thanks for the talk," Heero suddenly found himself saying. He was embarrassed, and he could tell from Trowa's prompt return text and focused expression on his phone that he was probably being summoned. "We better head back."

Heero pushed himself up from the couch as Trowa nodded his head in agreement. He saw the other man slip his phone back into his pocket before pacing him to the door. As Heero pulled it open the sounds and light atmosphere of the posh party flooded into the room. He paused in the doorway before casting a glance up at his friend, gave him a parting nod and vanished into the crowded ballroom in the direction he had last seen Relena.

The party continued late into the night, and despite the fact they were in the same room and in the same house they never encountered one another again.