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#Boner4Maddie by lovethatignites

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"For the rest of the class period, you may work in pairs," Mr. Alfred announced to his last period eighth grade class. He licked his thumb to unstick the crisp worksheets in his hand and sent a few down the first aisle. "Keep the volume down and use the book to check your answers. I need to call my social worker." He finished passing out the worksheets and returned to his desk in the front of the classroom.

As everyone else shuffled about to sit next to their buds, Andi turned around in her seat to face her only friend. There were six days of the school year left, and Alfred had been giving them partner work for the past week. Therefore, Andi was used to facing backward to work with Daniel each day. Today, however, her friend was uncomfortably staring down at his desk, avoiding eye contact.

Andi grimaced. "Yo, Daniel. What's with the face?"

The athlete snapped his head up guiltily. "Huh? Oh, nothing. So you wanna work together?"

The short girl gave him a flat expression that said she was not amused. "Duh." She flipped her chair around and slapped her blank paper on his desk. "Who else would I work with?"

"Oh, uh..." Daniel shifted in his seat, causing it to make some... sounds. Beside him, a large boy who for some reason struck Andi as a future fanboy who hadn't yet found his calling curled his lip in disgust. Daniel didn't notice he was being judged, only glanced over toward the back corner of the opposite side of the classroom. He cleared his throat. "No one. So, let's see…" He tried to sit up straighter in his seat, taking up his pencil and looking over the worksheet. "Number one—"

"Whoa whoa." Andi held up a hand to stop him. She too had made eyes at the back of the classroom and discovered none other than queen bitch Maddie Van Pelt and her minion Sophie Johnson. Maddie had received a detention earlier that day in math because she had come to school with nothing over top the Iridium Middle School undershirt. She had spent the next three classes whining to Sophie and Katie about how it wasn't fair, her mother hadn't dry-cleaned her blazer, she was going to find a way to sue, etc. etc. Needless to say, Andi had had quite enough of the Panthers for one school day and was rather glad final period history had come at last. So why on earth was Daniel making eyes at them? "What was that?"

Daniel's head snapped up a second time, and he looked at her with wide blue eyes. "What was what?" he asked, once again moving around on his chair. It would be Daniel Miller's luck to have the only squeaky chair in the room. It didn't help that he was currently going through puberty. Half the time, his voice matched his chair.

Andi punched him in the arm. He flinched. Huh. Either she was more masculine than she thought, or Daniel was even wimpier than usual today. "Why were you looking at the Panthers?"

"I-I wasn't!" Daniel's posture somehow became even more rigid.

The feisty girl raised her thin brows. "Yeah, you were. Are they the reason you're acting so weird?"

Daniel glanced around in a paranoid manner. When he realized no one in the room cared enough to eavesdrop on his conversation, he leaned forward and whispered, "Alright. If I tell you something, promise it stays between us?"

Andi looked a little disturbed now. Daniel had never been the most normal guy, but he was acting downright odd today. "Well yeah, dude, duh."

He took a deep breath, gave the room a final once-over to make sure the coast was clear, and leaned even closer to whisper, "I have a major boner for Maddie right now."

If Andi hadn't spent her lunch period swimming laps in the pool, she would've hurled her stomach's contents all over him right on the spot. It was one thing for Daniel Horatio Miller to get a boner at all, but for Maddie Van Pelt? Ew!

Without giving it a second thought, Andi ripped his pencil right out of his hand, reached around his desk, and thrust the writing utensil into his groin.

Daniel screamed.

Everyone in the room whirled around in alarm to see what had just happened.

"What's the problem now?!" that large boy demanded.

"Andi just stabbed me in the crotch!" Daniel managed to seethe through clenched teeth. He tried to remove the pencil, but that only made it worse.

Alfred glared at the youth and took his phone call out in the hallway, shaking his head with disgust. All remaining eyes in the room turned on Andi. The short girl shrugged defensively. "You said you had a boner for Maddie; clearly, your dick needed to be brought back to reality!"

From the back of the classroom, the leader of the Panthers blushed. "You have a boner for me?" she asked Daniel in shock. Sophie gasped.

Daniel's face burned along with his groin. "I did!" he emphasized, glaring at Andi.

Maddie's face lit up. "Aww! That is sooo sweet!"

"It is?!" Daniel and Andi asked in unison, the former whipping around to look at her, causing the pencil to shift painfully.

The blonde nodded the affirmative, a giant grin on her face. Sophie placed a hand to her heart sentimentally.

"Well, then... would you like to go out with me?" Daniel asked, his prepubescent cheeks flushing profusely.

Both Maddie's and Andi's mouths dropped. Only Maddie's morphed into a surprised smile. "Oooh, yes!" She air-clapped her delight.

Daniel tried to smile back, but the kid behind him chose that moment to head to the front of the classroom for a tissue, bumping into Daniel's knee in the process. Subsequently, his body shifted in his chair, causing the pencil to knock up against his desk and shift even more. Daniel howled in pain just as the classroom door burst open. Alfred appeared to be contemplating his life choices as he motioned to the boy. "There..." he sighed heavily.

The big, burly school nurse marched in, followed by two assistants wheeling in a stretcher. She paused next to Daniel to examine his situation and shook her head with disapproval. "Another pencil to the penis. This'll be an interesting trip to the ER. Lift him up!"

As Daniel was being moved onto the wheeled contraption, Maddie got to her feet and waved. "I'll call you!"

"Okay!" Daniel called back as he was wheeled out of the room.

For the rest of the class period, Andi didn't even attempt to complete Alfred's worksheet. When the dismissal bell rang, she remained in her seat, staring at the white board, shell-shocked.

As many unappealing qualities as Maddie Van Pelt possessed, Andi never would've pegged her as the type to find a boy being stabbed in the wiener endearing.