This was my submission for the Mother's Day One-Shot Compilation put out by VA10thanniversaryproject.

Make sure you check out the whole collection to view other author's works! (Link on my profile page)

The Closest Thing

I never wanted to be a mother. It didn't even cross my mind that it was an option. I'd been training to be a guardian since the age of five, and from the moment the promise mark was tattooed on my neck I considered myself married to the job. Admittedly, there may have been a short period during my early thirties when my body clock caused me to view every moroi male on two legs as a potential sperm bank, but the few times I considered skipping the pill before a romantic encounter I couldn't go through with it. The fact was, I could never have a baby. My loyalty was to my job; the moroi I protected and the dhampir guardians I fought alongside. There was no room in my life to love a child.

But then Rose came along.

'Captain Petrov?' There was a knock at my office door and I looked up from my work to see a familiar figure - professional in every aspect from the pressed guardian uniform to the stern, watchful expression.

'Janine? What a surprise! Come in,' I rounded the table to welcome my visitor, clasping her hand in a firm handshake. The two of us had served together briefly at court when Guardian Hathaway first graduated, and even though I was more than ten years her senior we had struck up a lasting friendship. 'What brings you to St. Vladimir's? I thought your charge was based in Turkey?'

Indecision flickered across her face, but when she blinked again the moment was gone and she looked me directly - almost defiantly - in the eye. 'I've accepted a new assignment to Lord Szelsky in Nepal. I hoped you could take care of this for me,' she thrust a wad of paperwork into my hands, and it took every drop of self-control not to let the shock show on my face as I skimmed over the words at the top of the first page.

Application for Enrolment

Student: Rosemarie Hathaway

Date of Birth: 03/21/1992

Mother: Janine Hathaway

Father: N/A

In the six years we'd known one-another she never once mentioned she had a child.

'If Rosemarie is anything like her mother then St. Vladimir's will be very lucky to have her,' I replied quickly, not wanting Janine to think I judged her in any way for her choice to become a parent (or her choice to leave her child behind at such a young age in favour of her career). Ultimately, it was none of my business.

The woman acknowledged my comment with curt nod, and I moved to sit at my desk so I could scan through the rest of the application form. 'I see you haven't listed the father's details. You will need to elect a second person to act as your daughter's next of kin - somebody the school can contact in case of emergency if you are unreachable. Another family member? A lawyer, perhaps?'

'I want you to do it.'

I would have been less shocked if she'd walked right up and punched me in the face. Next of kin? Did she even understand what she was asking of me? If Janine was killed in the line of duty - and let's face it, that was a strong possibility given our line of work - all responsibility for the child would fall to me. I wasn't in a position to become a parent. How could I possibly accept?

My friend didn't give me time to object. 'I've trusted you with my life, Alberta. I trust you with my daughter's life as well.'

'Surely there is somebody else... more suitable,' I winced internally, trying to imagine myself suddenly becoming a mother at the age of forty-one. My main skill-set included killing strigoi, co-ordinating duty rosters and beating cocky junior guardians at pool - not child rearing. I'd never even owned a dog.

'I have no one else,' she said it quietly, eyes dipping to her feet before returning to mine. 'Please.'

Twenty minutes later my signature was on the enrolment form beside Janine's, and we exchanged a slightly awkward hug to seal our agreement. 'I suppose you'd better let me meet her then,' I suggested, feeling strangely nervous. I had killed twenty-eight strigoi in my career as a guardian, but somehow the idea of saying hello to a four year old girl had me quivering in my well-polished boots.

'Actually, you go ahead without me,' the red-haired guardian gathered up her papers from the desk, shuffling them into a neat bundle and tucking them inside an envelope marked Attn: Headmistress Kirova. 'I've already explained to Rose why she is here so there's no sense dragging out the farewells.'

She wasn't even going to say goodbye? I couldn't understand how a mother could be so cold and unfeeling... but then I realised the truth. Janine wasn't being unfeeling. She was trying to protect herself against feeling too much.

'Whatever you think is best,' I flashed her a smile of encouragement. 'I'll see that Rose gets settled into her dorm room and give her a tour of the junior campus. Is there anything else I can do for either of you?'

Janine was already inching her way towards the door, trying to mask the cracks in her professional façade. Nothing would make Janine Hathaway cry. Not even giving up her own daughter. 'You've already done more than enough. Thank you Alberta. For everything. Keep me updated with her progress, won't you? I know she'll be in safe hands with you,' she reached the doorway, turning with a final wave. 'I'd love to stay and chat, but Lord Szelsky will be waiting.'

And she was gone.

I stood there - stunned - for nearly a full minute before I remembered that there was somewhere I had to be. Somebody needed me, and for the first time in my life it wasn't directly related to my work.

Making it to the main reception area in record time, I stopped abruptly in the doorway, my heart going out to the little creature in the corner of the waiting room. Janine's daughter was seated on a chair with a tiny suitcase on her lap, her short legs swinging as she looked curiously around her. She had big brown eyes, wild hair, bruises on her knees, and a look on her face that made me want to wrap her in a hug and, at the same time, search her pockets to find out what mischief she might be planning next. She was too young to be alone in the world, I thought, but then my heart skipped a beat. She wasn't alone. I was here now.

Approaching the child carefully, I dropped to a crouch to place us at eye-level. 'Hello Rose. I'm Alberta Petrov - captain of the school guard and a friend of your mommy's. Do you have any questions about your new school?'

Rose stared right back at me. 'When do we learn to fight?' she balled up one fist and shook it in a threatening gesture.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that basic defensive drills weren't taught until the second grade. Instead, I made a big show of inspecting the hand that had been thrust an inch from my nose. 'With technique like this, Novice Hathaway, you will be defeating your instructors in no time,' I assured her.

The child narrowed her eyes, looking me up and down with intense scrutiny. Thankfully, whatever she was searching for, I passed. 'Great. Now, are you going to show me to my room or should I find it myself?'

Cheeky scamp. I liked her already. 'Would Novice Hathaway like a piggy-back to the junior campus?' I enquired, turning to offer her my shoulders.

Rose clambered on eagerly and just like that it dawned on me. There was room in my life to love a child after all.

'She's done it again, Alberta. I won't let her get away with it this time. It's an embarrassment to her mother, her teachers, our profession.'

'Who's done what again, Guardian Alto?' I steepled my hands under my chin, assuming my best 'attentive listener' pose. Stan was a valued member of staff, but he always had something or someone to gripe about. Students, colleagues, food in the staff cafeteria. He even made an official complaint about the colour of the lane markings on the running track once.

'Who do you think?' the man's ears turned red, a sure sign that his short temper was about to burst. 'Novice Hathaway of course! She's skipped my class again. She's not a child anymore. She's fifteen. In two years she'll be graduating. Can you imagine anybody wanting to take on a guardian who doesn't even bother to show up to work. Preposterous! If you can't keep a better eye on that girl, then I'm taking the matter straight to the headmistress.'

I groaned internally. Ellen Kirova was already looking for an excuse to have Rose punished. Only two days ago we'd received a phone call from an irate Lady Voda, claiming that her son's dorm room had been vandalised and that 'the little Hathaway bitch' should be held accountable for the damages. If Headmistress Kirova got wind of this latest misdemeanour she would likely have Rose suspended. The incident would be another black mark on her permanent record. Janine would have to be notified and that wouldn't turn out well for anybody.

But maybe I could salvage the situation before it got that far. Rose might be a disobedient pain in the ass sometimes, but she was my disobedient pain in the ass, and while it appeared she had broken school rules (yet again), she deserved the chance to tell her side of the story before we came down on her like the Spanish Inquisition.

'Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Stan,' I used the soothing, diplomatic voice I normally reserved for dealing with visiting royals. 'I'll locate her now and find out what happened. Novice Hathaway will provide you with a written apology, and any classwork she's missed will be caught up - in her own time, of course. I'll see to it myself that she gets it done.'

He looked unconvinced so I pulled out the big guns.

'And I will ban Rose from attending any royal social events with Princess Vasilisa until the end of the semester.'

I had him.

'If that's what you recommend,' he huffed, rising to his feet. 'I don't mean to overreact, you understand? I just hate seeing Janine's daughter throw all that talent away. She could be one of the greats, you know.'

'Yes, I understand completely. Thank you again, Stan. I'll take care of the matter immediately,' I ushered him out the door then returned quickly to my desk, already reaching for my phone and dialling the main administration office.

On the first call, I learned that Rose hadn't attended any of her classes during the day or reported to the infirmary. Next, I dialled the female novice dormitory - assuming Rose might have returned to her room for some reason - but the matron couldn't recall seeing her. An uncomfortable feeling prickled at the back of my neck and the next two phone calls confirmed my suspicions. Princess Vasilisa hadn't reported to class today either, and there was no record of her attending the feeding room at lunchtime. The Dragomir princess had been assigned a personal guard, but there was no answer on Guardian Wallace's cell phone. I left a message for him to contact me as soon as possible, then wracked my brain for any other leads.

Gymnasium, cafeteria, library - no Rose or Lissa. As a last resort I checked in with the guards posted at the front gates but they had nothing out of the ordinary to report. It was like the girls had just... disappeared.

Half and hour had passed since I'd been informed of Rose's absence from class and I was no closer to knowing where she or Vasilisa were. I was getting frustrated.

This is Guardian Wallace. Please leave a message.

He still wasn't answering? He'd better have a good reason. 'This is Captain Petrov. Call me immediately,' I scowled at the receiver and hung up.

Another five minutes. Still no response.

This is Guardian Wallace. Please leave a message.

This time I didn't even bother leaving a reply. Something was wrong. My brain kicked up another gear and I hurried out of my office, making for the guardian accommodation building. There was no answer when I rapped on Guardian Wallace's door and I didn't wait to find out if he would come to the second knock. My master key was already in the lock.

'Julian. Guardian Wallace. Are you in here?' I ranged into the room on high alert - expecting to see the man incapacitated on the floor, or perhaps some sign of a struggle - but what I found was more disturbing. Vasilisa's guardian was sitting at his dining table dressed in tracksuit pants and a T-shirt, sedately eating his dinner. He barely even looked up as I entered, continuing to shovel food into his mouth - fork moving mechanically from plate to lips like he was on autopilot.

'Julian!' I barked, properly angry now. 'I've called your work phone three times and you didn't answer. I'm putting you on report for this. Get your uniform and meet me in my office now. Princess Vasilisa is missing. Rose too.'

He blinked up at me and shook his head in confusion. 'But she's in class. I've just been there. She said there were enough guardians on duty and she wouldn't need me for the rest of the night.'

My anger dissipated in a moment and I hurried to his side, pulling his chin up roughly so I could examine his eyes. 'No, Julian. The school day is over. The princess hasn't shown up to any of her classes... Here - look at my hand,' I snapped my fingers off to the right and watched the sluggish movement of his gaze with a feeling of growing dread. Somebody had used compulsion on him. It was rare for a moroi to abuse their magical powers like this, but we all had training in how to resist it - whoever manipulated Julian must have been very powerful, or very desperate.

'It's not possible,' he frowned, rising from the table so hurriedly his chair toppled over backwards onto the floor. 'Get out of my way. I need to secure my charge,' Guardian Wallace pushed past me but I blocked his exit, shoving him back onto the sofa when he resisted me.

'You're not going anywhere until you've seen Dr Olendzki,' I commanded, already getting out my phone to summon her. 'Now, sit down and tell me everything you remember.'

One hour... No sign of the girls. Dr Olendzki confirmed that Guardian Wallace was still displaying the residual effects of being subjected to compulsion magic. The doctor recommended key guardians and staff also be checked for similar signs. I dispatched a small team of guardians to check the ward lines and informed Headmistress Kirova of the situation.

Two hours... Still no sign. Dr Olendzki identified another case of compulsion - one of the guards at the middle school entrance failed to report an unmarked car leaving The Academy soon after dawn. CCTV footage had been erased. My search of Rose and Lissa's dorm rooms revealed that several personal items were missing, leading us to conclude that the girls' disappearance was premeditated (though it was still unclear if they went by choice or by force). Their cell phones had been left behind.

Five hours... A thorough search of the school grounds turned up no further leads. I assigned Stan and Celeste the task of interviewing Rose and Lissa's close friends but no useful information came to light. Ellen Kirova attempted to contact Vasilisa's next of kin but due to the late hour Prince Dashkov was not answering his phone. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk calling every human contact I had, trying to catch any trace of the girls in the outside world. Every time the phone rang, my stomach knotted with hope and fear, and every moment the phone didn't ring, that knot continued to tighten until I was on the verge of being physically ill. Two of my students had gone missing on my watch. Not just any students. A moroi princess - the last of her line. And my Rose.

Call after call, lead after useless lead, a lifetime of memories began to cloud my vision. That four-year-old Rose in the waiting room - her little suitcase on her lap; the seven-year-old Rose who claimed she'd lost her two front teeth fighting off a pack of strigoi; publicly reprimanding ten-year-old Rose after she attacked an older moroi student for teasing Lissa during the lunchbreak, and then later - behind closed doors - holding her tightly as hot tears of anger and frustration spilt down to soak the shoulder of my guardian uniform; chasing thirteen-year-old Rose, who'd broken into my apartment on April 1st and covered every piece of furniture in toilet paper; arguing with fifteen-year-old Rose after I discovered an empty Schnapps bottle in her schoolbag, then trying not to loose my cool while she rattled off every excuse under the sun - eventually concluding that her underage drinking was the result of having absent parents.

In all these years I had grown to love Janine Hathaway's daughter as if she were my own, and the haunting possibility of not knowing her at sixteen or twenty-one or thirty, spurred me on through the night - never faltering from my task to find that sweet, brave, cheeky, obnoxious little girl and bring her safely home.

The sun reached its highest point and made its descent towards the western horizon before I realised I had been sitting at my desk for over twelve hours. My stomach felt empty but I was too wound up to eat so I settled for an instant coffee instead and returned to my desk to co-ordinate the next phase of the search effort.

The new school day carried on as usual - most of the students and staff blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding around them. Victor Dashkov arrived at The Academy before lunchtime, offering unlimited financial support to locate the missing girls, and an emergency meeting of senior staff was called to brief all parties of our progress. It was agreed that Headmistress Kirova would contact the Queen to seek out any assistance that might be provided by the Royal Court, and I would place a call to the alchemists.

Queen Tatiana was horrified we had let the Dragomir princess slip from our care, and advised that a cover story for the girls' disappearance be put out to reassure moroi parents that St. Vladimir's Academy was a safe place to leave their children.

The alchemists gave me the run around until I finally spoke with a Mr Jared Sage. The bastard informed me that our missing students would likely be dead within the week and that two less vampires in the world only made his job easier. I told him exactly what I thought of him and hung up in his ear.

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, a guardian Jeep arrived at the front gates and headed straight for the infirmary. I rushed there at once, convinced that Rose and the princess had been found, but it wasn't them. It was Sonya Karp. In our urgency to locate the girls no-one had even realised the moroi teacher was missing. Maybe the two cases were connected? I had to talk to her and find out what she knew.

'Ms Karp? Sonya?' I pushed into the emergency treatment room to find the young woman sitting up on a hospital gurney, resisting the nurses' attempts to make her lie down. Nobody wanted me here right now but I had to try. For Rose. 'Have you seen Rosemarie Hathaway or Vasilisa Dragomir? Can you tell me what happened?'

She looked across at me suddenly with strange, wild eyes that sent a chill of fear through my body. Sonya had a reputation as being a little off-beat - unbalanced maybe - but now she was a complete mess; whimpering and lashing out at the medical personnel who were trying to restrain her.

'Leave, Alberta,' Dr Olendzki called out to me from the group at the bedside, her attention focused on the syringe she was trying to insert into Sonya's arm. 'Let me take care of her. I'll phone you when she's in a condition to talk.'

Sonya knew something - I was sure of it - but I wasn't going to be getting any answers from her today.

Before I knew it, twenty-four hours had passed. No news. No leads. No sleep. I was dead on my feet, but there still was one more thing I had to do before I could retire for a few hours' rest - the thing I'd been dreading most since the moment I realised the girls were gone.

Ring-ring... ring-ring...

'Hathaway,' the voice was terse and businesslike, just like its owner.

I sat a little taller in my chair, preparing for battle. 'Janine. It's Alberta.'

'What has she done this time?' came the instant reply.

Over the years, Guardian Hathaway had gradually distanced herself from her daughter (apparently seven thousand miles was not far enough), and the only time we seemed to talk these days was when there was a disciplinary issue that required her attention.

'If Rosemarie has been cutting class again, I swear I'll...'

'She's missing, Janine,' I cut off the building tirade, leaving a gaping silence at the other end of the line. 'She and Princess Vasilisa left The Academy sometime in the last thirty six hours. I believe they went of their own accord, using compulsion to bypass the guardians on duty - possibly with the assistance of another moroi. We've launched a search party and contacted all of the relevant authorities, both at Court and in the human world. There have been no viable leads as yet, but I have my best people on the case. I am leading the investigation and will prepare an updated report every-'

Guardian Hathaway was done listening. 'Those stupid, reckless... What the hell were they thinking? How could you let them...?'

'Please let me finish,' I continued wearily. 'There's one other thing. Classified, do you understand?'

I assumed by her angry silence that she understood.

'One of the search and retrieval teams returned an hour ago with a moroi staff member in their custody. Sonya Karp was suffering severe mental distress when they brought her in, and has been placed under sedation for the time being. We are still trying to ascertain if there is a link between the two incidents.'

I waited for her to question, argue, scream, blame - anything - but all I got was silence.

'I'm sorry Janine,' I twisted my fingers through my short hair, wishing this nightmare was over. 'I let Rose down. I let you down. I'm doing my best to make this right... I assure you we are working around the clock to retrieve both girls, with no expense spared. Is there anything else I can do for you in the meantime? Anything at all?'

When she finally spoke, her voice was strained with repressed emotion. 'It sounds like you're doing everything you can already. Just keep me updated with your progress. I'd better hang up now. I need to attend to my charge.'

The engaged tone sounding in my ear was as hollow as my own heart and I turned out the office light; dragging myself to my apartment and falling into bed. I thought sleep would come easily but I was wrong. I lay awake for the longest time, and while Janine found the will to hold back her tears, I let mine fall. I couldn't have stopped them if I tried.

How did that Joni Mitchell song go? Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Well, what I had was gone - Rose had been gone for well over a year now - and I couldn't help wondering how I'd made it through the first four decades of my life without knowing she existed. Without having a daughter to love. Did the days always seem this long before? Was the food always this bland? Maybe Stan was right after all - somebody needed to fire the cafeteria staff, because everything I ate from that place tasted like soggy cardboard.

Everything had changed since Rose and Vasilisa disappeared. Everything and nothing. The official story fed to the public was that Princess Vasilisa had been offered a position at an elite boarding school in Romania with distant relatives of the Queen. As the princess' future guardian, Rose had also been invited to attend. The only people who knew the truth were the Moroi Council, my loyal team of school guardians and selected members of the teaching staff - and Janine of course, not that she made any direct effort to assist in the search. Conspiracy theories about Rose and Lissa's sudden departure fed the student rumour mill for a while, but eventually school life carried on much as it had before. Social politics, teenage romances, classwork, graduations, feasts, balls. It was all meaningless, but I stood in the background and took up my vigilant watch from the shadows. No other child would be lost from St. Vladimir's Academy while I was in charge. No other parent would be made to suffer the same crushing emptiness that I felt every morning when I woke up and remembered the person I'd once loved was no longer here.

I wasn't usually one to wallow in hopelessness, but when Hans Croft phoned from Guardian HQ and offered me a Bloodmaster ranked guardian from Russia to renew the flagging search and retrieval effort I honestly didn't think there was much chance of success. We'd failed so many times before. We knew the girls weren't dead - that is, they weren't dead three months ago when an alchemist spotted them in Seattle, but they hadn't been seen again since. Still, Guardian Dimitri Belikov came highly recommended and I went over all of the facts of the missing persons' case with him – pretending he wasn't the fifth person assigned to this role.

'I will report back as soon as I have secured the runaways, captain,' he shook my hand, a copy of the case file tucked under one arm.

Cocky much? I thought... but if he was confident he could find the girls then I really shouldn't be complaining. 'Just one warning,' I gripped his hand a moment longer, forcing him to meet my eye. 'Watch out for Rose. The princess has the fangs, but it's the little one who will try to bite you!'

For some reason I found that idea ridiculously funny and my chest restricted painfully with the pressure of laughter that was straining to be free. This must be what it felt like to be crazy. Living on a cocktail of hope and fear and duty until you didn't know from one moment to the next whether you wanted to laugh or cry - even though it was unlikely you'd allow yourself to do either.

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. 'I'll look out for that,' he replied serenely, and as I watched him step out of my office, a little swooping feeling under my ribcage caught my attention.

I think it was hope.

My phone was ringing again. Why did people always seem to call when I'd just fallen asleep? I rolled over in bed and fumbled for my cell, sitting up to answer the call.

'Petrov,' I rubbed a hand across my eyes, still trying to drag my brain out of its sleepy stupor.

'Good evening, captain,' the Russian accent was unmistakeable, and I was wide awake in an instant. 'I have secured the Dragomir princess and Novice Hathaway. My team will be boarding a plane from Portland in thirty minutes and we are due to arrive at Saint Vladimir's no later than 8:00pm. Should I contact Headmistress Kirova or would you prefer to inform her yourself?'

What? Was this really happening? I tried to stand up then sat down again very quickly, the sudden rush of adrenaline planting a restless, squirming sensation in my arms and legs. 'Thank you for the call Guardian Belikov. I will notify the headmistress personally. When you arrive on campus please escort both girls to the main administration building and I will meet you there.'

'Very well. I will see you shortly,' he replied, and the line went dead.

I don't know how long I sat there on the edge of the bed; my limbs like dead weights while my muscles twitched erratically beneath my skin. Rose and Vasilisa had been found. They were coming home! I wanted to scream the news out my window. I wanted to dance, and get drunk, kiss somebody, punch something, and weep until I'd run out of tears. But I didn't do any of those things. I did what every good guardian does when faced with an emotionally compromising situation. I went back to work.

Uniform on, coffee in hand, I nodded to Yuri at the front desk and found my way back to my office. It seemed smaller somehow - like the hope that had ignited inside me was ballooning out beyond the confines of my body and making me too big for the room. With time to kill and nothing better to do, I set to work tidying up; first clearing the surfaces and then unpacking drawers and filing cabinets.

'I just heard the good news,' I looked up from where I was knelt on the floor to see Stan Alto's head poking through the doorway. 'Tell Rose I'll still be expecting that letter of apology for cutting class, and if she's ever a year and a half late for class again I'm reporting her to Headmistress Kirova,' he smirked, then headed off down the hallway to his first class of the day.

Did Stan just made a joke? It was terrible. Awful. I wanted to laugh like a hyena.

I was up to the 'T's' in the filing cabinet when the call I'd been waiting for finally came through.

'We've just had word from Guardian Belikov,' Celeste phoned in the messaged from her guard-post at the front gate. 'They're only a few minutes away.' She sounded as excited as I felt.

T-Z would have to wait. In the next breath I was out of the door, forcing myself not to run on my way to Ellen Kirova's office.

'I was just about to page you,' Ellen looked mildly surprised by my entrance but waved me over to sit in the visitor's chair opposite her. 'I assume you've been informed that Princess Vasilisa and Novice Hathaway have been caught and are on their way here as we speak?' she watched me closely, probably privately critiquing the dark circles under my eyes and the patches of grey in my hair that seemed to have sprung up overnight.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

'Just so we're clear, I will be running this meeting,' she announced, condescending as ever. 'I realise that you have co-ordinated the search to find the missing students, and I'm sure you will want to interrogate them both about their whereabouts over the past two years, but as headmistress, I reserve the right to question them first.'

I didn't want to interrogate them. I wanted to look at them. Hold them. Tell them I how glad I was that they were home again. 'I have no plans to interfere with your meeting, headmistress,' I assured her.

She narrowed her eyes. 'I'm only saying this because I am aware of your connection to Janine Hathaway and her daughter. Rosemarie has broken countless school rules, and probably federal laws as well, in running away from The Academy, and I won't have her let off the hook just because she is friends with the captain of the school guard. She must be held accountable for her actions. If the evidence is clear and I deem that she be expelled, my decision will be final.'

'Of course,' I dipped my head once more. At this point it didn't matter to me if Rose was expelled or not. I was just glad she was alive and safe. We could worry about the other details later.

The sound of footsteps at the door brought our conversation to a close and I melted across to the back of the room, assuming my guardian posture and watching on with hungry eyes as three figures entered the room. Guardian Belikov came first, holding the door open for Princess Vasilisa. The young royal was taller than I remembered her, and even more beautiful than before - but tired-looking, somehow, and more serious as well.

And then there was Rose.

I could see at a glance that she was older, wiser, harder than she'd been before she left, but there were still traces of the girl I knew and loved. Her dark hair was pulled up in a high ponytail that bobbed with every step as she moved - hair I'd cut every other month since she was four years old. There was a little quirk to her lips that I knew could turn into either a scowl or a smirk, depending on her mood, and my breath caught in my throat when I saw her eyes. They flashed with intelligence and intent, sweeping around the room in search of anything that might be a threat to her charge. She may have only been a novice - and a lapsed one at that - but she carried herself like a guardian, and the sight of her filled me with admiration and pride.

At first I thought she hadn't recognised me from my watching place in the shadows, but when the headmistress' attention was fully engaged in a fawning conversation with Princess Vasilisa, Rose turned her head and looked directly at me.

'Hi,' she gave me a tiny, silent wave as she mouthed the word, an impish expression on her face.

One word, two letters. It was everything I needed to hear.

'Hi,' I mouthed back, dropping my guardian mask for a fraction of a moment to send her a smile that expressed what was on my heart. Disbelief, relief, pride, joy, love.

I was fifty-four years old. I would never really have a daughter of my own. I would never really know what it was like to be a mother. But this was the closest thing.