Alright, so it has been a long time. - I know.

I had this on my laptop though and thought why not post it, since you'd all been so kind with your comments.

I have one more chapter for this story that is very rough and I'm not happy with it, but if you guys are interested in reading it let me know! I might be able to be persuaded to fix it up - though i'm not sure i'll ever be on the same train of thought as I was for the first chapter. Less is more or something is better than nothing? - let me know.

Enjoy some Dasey angst.

She scurries to her room (doesn't dare to look back) and doesn't think about it.

She showers (without him) and gets dressed (without him watching her) and doesn't think about it.

She goes to class all day and totally doesn't think about it (when she goes to that one poetry class that she'd taken as her elective and scribbles down angsty lines about day and night it has nothing to do with him, really).

And no matter how many times she tells herself this there's no way anyone is going to believe it.

She's cursing that stupid girl (yes, actually cursing with words she's gotten used to hearing come from Derek's mouth) for asking that stupid question, because she had to answer, right?

Derek wasn't going to, and if he did he'd have said the same thing. Because they weren't dating. That was the truth. They'd never spoken of dating, or labels, or any of that couple-y stuff, because they weren't a couple. Because like she'd said they could never be a couple.

Just because the sex is good (really, really, really, good) doesn't mean they're suddenly soul mates.

And just because she normally spends her Saturday nights with him that doesn't make it a "date night".

And the fact that he knows how she likes her tea and she can read his hidden (self proclaimed non-existent) emotions doesn't make them an old married couple (as their friends having jokingly referred to them).

And if they study together, or watch a movie, or go to the bar, that's fine, because they're friends. Yes, friends with benefits. There's even a name for it so clearly she and Derek aren't the only people in the world with a messy relationship.

And the way that she smiles brightly and genuinely at him, or forgives him when he's acting like an entitled ass (once he provides a Derek apology of course – which doesn't always look like a normal apology but she's spent so long hunting them she can catch them with unparalleled precision- he'll pay for the take out, he'll open the car door for her, he'll let her choose a movie and then complain about it), or feels so content and comfortable when she's naked in his bed, doesn't mean that she's in love.

And because Casey had spent so long living in denial she had decided to buy property there so that she can return as often and for as long as she likes.

She doesn't come to his room the next night, even though they have a standing date (he uses the term extremely loosely in the most colloquial sense) for after his hockey games. Not to mention the fact that he outright asked her and she had confirmed. Of course that was also before they were outed and she completely denied any kind of feelings towards him.

At first he took it as typical Casey awkwardness. Not that it didn't sting, it did, but he wasn't taking it too personally. Now, sitting in his dorm room alone at 1am (the time when he should have his fingers tightly knotted in Casey's hair as she mumbles his name from underneath him) he reconsiders. Derek isn't the sad, late night ruminating type but he's always had this lingering doubt when it comes to Casey. He'd always known, and had never been very shy about his attitude towards her. Casey on the other hand had lived in denial for years and she was generally quick to flip flop when confronted or reprimanded. He knew when she really believed in something she would fight for it no matter what the cost. It was something he'd always admired about her, that determination, passion, complete commitment. But she'd never had that attitude towards them once. She was fine when things were breezy, offhand, or hidden, but when it got real she caved.

Every single time.

That had been fine in high school, when their parents were around every corner. Then he could get by with touching her only when they danced (which somehow happened, through his own creation, a lot) and only helping her after a masterfully constructed prank reached its sweet finale. Now though, he'd come to terms with the reality of his feelings for her.

He wanted her.

All of her.

All the time.

And her not feeling the same way might just drive him crazy.