Being Driven Bats:

"This is getting ridiculous! Bruce has been brooding down in the cave for two weeks now and hasn't come out once," observed Tim.

Alfred set the tea tray on the coffee stand beside the couch Tim and Dick were seated on. "I've been doing my best to get him to come out of there, but he simply will not listen to reason. He is so distressed about what happened to the commissioner at the Gala, that he will not come out of his guilt trance. He keeps looking for what could have done wrong that's he's gone over the case at least a hundred times. Perhaps if one of you made an attempt, it would be more successful," suggested or rather pleaded the old man.

"We'll give it a go Alfred," Tim promised him.

"Thank you, Master Timothy. I would be ever so grateful." Alfred picked up the tray again and descended the stairs to the Batcave.

Dick shot to his feet. "I have an idea!"

"Oh, this'll be good," Jason's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Thanks Jay, I knew you had faith in me," said Dick unaffected by Jason's tone. "We'll all take turns trying to get Bruce out of the cave and the winner gets-"

"24 hours without being disturbed," Damien finished.

"No. See, that's the attitude that got us into this mess in the first place," Dick pointed out. "We'll each put $20 dollars in a hat and whoever gets him out wins the hat."

"And 12 hours of silence," Damien put in.

"Fine," said Dick dragging the word out and rolling his eyes.

"12 hours without Dick annoying me? I am so in," said Jason jumping off the couch and dropping $20 in the hat. Tim and Damien both decided to play as well and put their money in Bruce's top hat which Dick had appropriated for the purposes. As he dropped him money in the hat, Dick looked over at Jason, "I think I've been insulted." And Jason just nodded.

Damien made the first attempt. He marched into the cave like he meant business and planted himself in front of Bruce. "Father," he began, "if you do not vacate this cave immediately, I will take over Wayne Enterprises."

"And then I will take it back after I've found my mistake so I can keep it from ever happening again," said Bruce looking around Damien back at the screen. His son moved slightly to obstruct his view of the screen again.

"I will take my sword and gut every worthless criminal bastard in this city," Damien swore, "unless you come out of your hole and stop me." This time Bruce looked his son in the eye. Knowing Damien, this was no idle threat. His eyes shone with threatening emotions. Oh, that kid had the famous batglare down. Much faster than any of the others, but then, like father like son. For a long moment, Bruce said nothing.

Damien threw his hands in the air. "Fine. I hope you like your streets covered with end trails, father. The dogs do, it's like a free sausage bar for them." He took his sword down from the pegs it rested on and placed his domino mask over his eyes. As he mounted the stairs, Damien asked once more, "aren't you going to stop me and save your city's scum?"

Knowing full well the game Damien was playing, but still afraid that he would carry out his threats, Bruce quickly thought up a response that would keep his youngest son in line and allow himself to stay right where he was. "I have no intention of following you around Gotham and keeping you out of trouble," he said. Damien looked confused and appalled at the same time. "Luckily, I don't have to. I'll stick Nigthwing on your tail and he'll keep you in line."

Damien growled, but then his expression changed to one of mischief. "What am I doing going back upstairs?" he asked himself allowed, "when I have a way to move through Gotham so fast Nigthwing will never catch me." Bruce watched in horror as Damien snatched the keys to the Batmobile and climbed into the driver's seat.

Now it was Bruce's turn to growl. He got up from his chair (an improvement in Damien's mind) and walked over to the car. Before Damien could close himself in, Bruce lifted him out of the driver's seat by the armpits. Damien glared up at him indignantly. Then Bruce took the sword away in a lightning fast movement and threw it over the ledge of the main floor of Batcave on which they stood. "I've had enough. Go back upstairs," he growled.

"Well, Drake, it looks like it's your turn!" said an exasperated Damien when he re-entered the living room where his brothers and Alfred awaited his results.

"You mean you caved to the bat?" teased Tim. He really couldn't help himself.

"No, but I thought I'd rather watch you fail than keep fighting since I don't need the money," Damien shot back.

"What about the 12 hours of uninterrupted silence you insisted on?" Tim pressed.

"Jason wanted 12. I wanted 24. And if I really wanted silence, I'd just kill you all."

"Ouch," said Dick looking up from his laptop.

"Just hurry up and fail Drake," Damien snarled. He plopped himself down on the couch where he had been sitting earlier.

"Watch and learn," said Tim, "sometimes you have to outwit the bat because threats aren't very effective on someone who's been through what he has. Dick, can I borrow your laptop?"

Dick looked hesitant for a minute. "If you don't touch anything I'm using," he cautioned. Tim promised. Dick handed his laptop over to Tim and perched on the back of the chair behind him curiously.

Tim looked at the internet tabs Dick had left open and his eyebrows shot up. There were several tabs for Youtube and things like the Barbie Song, My Little Pony, and Strawberry Shortcake. "I'm not even going to ask," said Tim rolling his eyes. He had always thought Dick was a little weird but he was starting to think his brother could use a therapist.

He began hacking Batman's villain alert system and planted a story about Killer Crock terrorizing Gotham's Opera Concert Hall. He made it look as urgent as he could. Then he locked down everything in the Manor and Batcave to force Bruce to come upstairs and demand help or an explanation if he figured things out.

Down in the Batcave, Tim's story flashed on the screen. Bruce jumped up from his chair and pulled the cowl over his head. He was ready to jump in the Batmobile when he thought to hack and check the security cameras in the Concert Hall which is when he realized that the story was a plant. A little more digging in the computer revealed that the source of the story was Dick's laptop. The plant had been so carefully and well concealed that he almost didn't catch him. It was unlike Dick to think of something this sneaky. I must have been Tim, he concluded. The plant was good, almost too good. It had to be Tim. Not that Dick was incapable of hacking the mother computer from his laptop, he was; it just wasn't a thing he'd do.

Bruce decided to do some hacking of his own. He sent a message to Dick's computer. Upstairs, Tim and the others waited to see if Bruce had taken the bait. The answer came in a message that spidered across the laptop's screen. It read, "nice try Tim. Better luck next time. Bruce." Dick read it allowed for everyone in the room.

Disappointed, Tim gave the computer back to Dick who erased the message from Bruce, inserted USB stick and started downloading something.

"Looks like you couldn't outsmart father after all Drake," said Damien smugly.

"It was still a clever plan though, Master Timothy," Alfred offered.

Tim sighed. "It's your turn Jason. Remember, shooting him and dragging his body upstairs does not count."

"I'll shoot him just a little," Jason promised as he rose from his armchair and left the room.

First Alfred, then Damien, them Tim. Everyone was trying to get him to leave the cave. Bruce considered the pattern and prepared himself for a visit from Jason. He was as stubborn and they were and he was not leaving the cave no matter what they did. Just as he predicted, Jason walked down the stairs into the cave. Bruce wasn't sure exactly what tactic he'd use but he had a couple of guesses.

Jason came up behind him and pointed a gun at the back of Bruce's head. "Alright, get up old man. We're walking upstairs to say hello to all those people who miss you. Why they miss your company is still a mystery to me. I'm just here for the 12 hours silence awarded to the winner."

Whatever Jason said or did, Bruce knew it was highly unlikely that he would shoot. It was also unlikely that he didn't care like the rest of them, he'd just never show it. Or, rather, this was his way of showing it; by pointing a gun. Bruce rose from his seat. Of course, Jason would go for the physical tactic. He started walking towards the stairs when he spun around and grabbed the gun and tossed it over the ledge to join Damien's sword.

A fist fight ensued. Bruce punched Jason in the stomach and Jason reeled back only to come at Bruce again and sweep him off his feet with a sweeping kick aimed at Bruce's ankles. Bruce fell and Jason seized the opportunity to grab his ankles and drag him towards the stairs. However, Bruce didn't go down that easily. He was on his feet in seconds and the fight continued. After a good ten minutes, Bruce finally stuffed Jason into the elevator and sent him back upstairs.

"Alright Dick, it's your turn. But if you get him out of the cave, just remember I softened him up for you," said Jason walking back into the living room. He looked like hell.

"I'll get the first aid kit," said Alfred and he got up from the armchair.

"I take it things didn't go as planned," said Tim, "have you thought of what we'll do with the prize if Bruce wins and stays in the cave?"

"We stuff the money and the hat down his unsocial throat," Jason growled.

"Wait, I still have a chance," said Dick. He grabbed the USB stick and his coffee mug before leaving the room and heading down into the cave.

"$50 bucks says 'Dick's pep-talk won't have any effect on Bruce and Dick will be in the cave for hours himself'," said Jason after Dick left.

Dick walked casually into the cave and over to Bruce's chair and the computer. He was still watching the same footage from the Gala. "If you're here to try to talk me into going back upstairs, save your breath," said Bruce coldly.

Dick was a little taken aback by his coldness, but undeterred. "And if I try reverse psychology?" he laughed.

"Same result. You'd be wasting your time and mine."

"I don't know why I even bother. It's not like we have that great of a relationship anymore because you're impossible."

"No, it's because you're impossible."

Dick threw his hands in the air. "I don't know why I even bother."

"Neither do I."

"Well good-bye then!" Dick stormed off but not before he plugged his USB stick into the cave's sound system. When he returned to the living room, everyone was laughing, except Alfred who just looked disappointed.

"No luck huh?" said Tim.

"Just wait for it," said Dick with a slightly evil grin sliding onto his face. He logged back onto his laptop and remotely accessed the cave's sound system. "And, 'Go Diego, Go'," said Dick. Below them in the cave, the Theme song for Go Diego, Go blasted over the loud speakers. Bruce covered his ears and did everything he could to turn it off. When he thought he had succeeded, My Little Pony started playing. Bruce smashed the players. Dick was not going to win this easily.

Finally, he thought he had peace and quiet again when Dick hacked his computer screen and Barbie, Life in the Dream House started playing in front of him. Damn, Dick knew how to annoy him. Since he could find a way to override Dick's trojan horse, Bruce shut the computer down, but he still wasn't going upstairs.

That is until Dick started singing Strawberry Shortcake over the intercom. Finally, Bruce couldn't take it anymore. He raced out of the cave and into the living room. He tackled Dick to the floor and pinned him. He was being his menacing Batman persona until he realized that everyone including Alfred was laughing at them. Even with Bruce's full weight on his chest, Dick was laughing (and coughing).

"Who would have believed Grayson could do the impossible and drive the bat batty," laughed Damien.

"Nice work Master Richard. It looks like you won the game," said Alfred.

Bruce was indignant, but he allowed Dick to sit up. "You really weren't going to give up on me were you?"

"Never. At least, not this time," said Dick. He hugged Bruce and then Tim piled in on top of them. Alfred walked over and put an arm around Dick's back and a hand on Bruce's shoulders. He beckoned for Damien to join them. Damien grabbed Jason and yanked him into the group hug. Jason pulled back, "no way am I joining that," he declared.

"If I have to, so do you," said Damien. An hour later, they had convinced Bruce to join them in watching a James Bond movie and eating popcorn. He never admitted it, but Bruce was secretly glad the Dick had go to such extreme measures. He had been so consumed by his mistakes that he failed to see that there were people who needed him regardless.

Fuzzy un-manly feelings aside, he looked at his boys and was glad they were there. Damien sat on his left in a huge leather chair and Tim and Jason were on his right on the couch. Dick was sitting on the floor with his legs spread out and a bag of chips. Bruce whispered a "thank you" to Dick's back, just quietly enough that the young man wouldn't have heard it. Dick heard it anyways, but he never said a word about it.