A/N: End of Season 18. I have no idea where I'm going with this, but it'll at least be a few chapters. Rated T for now. M for later chapters.

A few notes if you've never read my fics before: I like angst. I'm sorry. I struggle with happy/no drama all the time, but I try to balance it out; You'll probably see minor typos/gramma mistakes. If I spend too much time editing, I'll keep editing and never finish. I promise, it'll be readable. But for this, I go for quickness over perfect; I try to update regularly, especially when I'm working through a particular storyline. Usually late at night each night, with a night off here and there when I'm in the middle of something. If I stop, there is a reason or we're at a good pausing place (applies more to longer fics); I try not to demonize any characters. I know some hate Elliot/Tucker/Any One Else who Olivia could be paired with. You won't see that with me. I respect other ships, I hope people respect mine; I read all reviews and take things to heart/suggestions. I can't always work things in, or I have a specific story to tell, but I do appreciate tactful feedback; Finally, I try to make things as real life as possible, but with the understanding this is fiction...there has to be some crazy/angst/drama otherwise, what's the point of reading about two women sitting on a couch reading books and binge watching the new season of Twin Peaks? I incorporate that mundane stuff, but there has to be some action somewhere. Also, I hate writing smut scenes, but I try to work them in when appropriate (because I love reading other peoples).

VACATION

Olivia Benson was tired.

Physically.

Mentally.

Emotionally.

The emotions of the city had finally calm after the attacks on the Muslim family, and everything that proceeded it, including a mosque being set on fire. But the effects had taken a toll on Olivia.

She was put in a position to do things she never imagined she would do; things she hated. She wasn't sure if she'd have actually went through with calling ICE on a suspect's wife to get her to testify, but she wasn't sure she wouldn't have either. As a detective, she would have never considered it and would have pitched a fit if it had been suggested. However, she was in charge now and that meant looking out for the overall best interest of the city, even if it went against her personal beliefs. And tensions were high; they remained high, too, even after the case.

But the one line should wouldn't cross was perjury; not again. Hiding the truth never had worked out for her. And even if she felt pressure from Dodds and Barba, she wasn't going down the road again.

She still had her integrity and she'd do what she had to in order to keep it. Besides, she was setting an example for Noah every day. Even if he was too young to understand, she wanted to be able to tell him that despite all the bad in the world, and all the shortcuts, it was possible to keep your integrity. That's all she could hope for Noah.

Now that things were settled down at work, Dodds had insisted she and Noah take a vacation. His surprise offer still running through her head as she decided whether to take up his offer.

"Leave the city. I have a buddy with a place in the Hamptons. He hasn't even been there in two years. I'm looking after it. Go. Take Noah and stay for the week. You'll have all the privacy you and Noah need, and I promise not to bother you."

"I don't know. Things could pop up here at any time again."

"Things are settled now, Liv. And things could always pop up. Please, go and spend time with your son. This time is precious for the two of you. I still remember Mike at that age. Anyway, I've already arranged for Yvette from Bronx SVU to check in over here. Your squad, they're well oiled, right?"

He wasn't wrong. They were well-oiled and she trusted their decision-making. She also trusted Yvette from the Bronx. And, a vacation did sound nice.

After bath time, Olivia put Noah down for bed and read him a story. When they were done, she tucked him in.

"Noah, what would you think of going on a vacation? You and Mommy going on a trip?" she asked him.

"Like the plane with Tuck?" he asked innocently.

Paris. Tucker. Noah still remembered. So did she. Tucker was another chapter to the long year she'd faced since Mike had died. It had been wonderful, and Olivia was forever grateful she had Ed during that time. But it was more than that. She loved him, and he loved her, but somehow it fell apart. She couldn't really explain it other than their timing was just off. She didn't regret it, though; she never would.

But Olivia was looking for new roads. She was ready for a change and a freedom she hadn't felt for the past year.

"Well, kind of, sweetie. But we won't be going on an airplane, and it will just be you and Mommy. No Ed. We'll just go in the car for a short drive. You like the ocean, right?"

Noah nodded eagerly. They had taken a few weekends and gone to the beach, and Lucy had taken him once. Aside from the cold water, he was a fan, especially of making sand castles

Olivia leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "Ok, sweet boy. You and I will go to the beach in a few days. For a whole week."

Noah's eyes glowed as he gave Olivia one last hug. She wasn't entirely sure telling him about the beach right before bed was the best idea. It was possible he'd be too excited to sleep. But she wanted to get back to Chief Dodds sooner rather than later.

When she left Noah's room, she pulled out her phone to text Dodds.

Chief, Noah and I will take you up on your offer. I'll make some arrangements at work and you can let me know what days are best.

Olivia, I'll tell the housekeeper than checks in on it to expect you and Noah tomorrow. I've already taken care of things at SVU. I'll email directions in a bit. You'll get the key at the gate. Go, have fun. And I don't want to hear from you for at least a week!

Olivia rolled her eyes a little bit. Tomorrow? She would have to let Lucy know and pack, but she wasn't going to argue. She was a little uncertain as to how fancy this place was, it had a gate and was in the Hamptons, after all. She just hoped there wasn't too much Noah could destroy.

#

The following afternoon, Olivia and Noah arrived at their vacation home for the week. It was even nicer than Olivia had imagined. It wasn't the kind of place she normally vacationed, but it was a generous offer and she certainly wasn't going to complain. It was beautiful and had access to the beach that only a few other homes could access. A mostly private beach for a week with her son didn't sound terrible.

Dodds really had taken care of everything. Before she could even call her squad the next morning or Yvette, they were already fully briefed and assured her not to worry. Even things worked out with Lucy. Olivia was still going to pay her of course, and asked her to check in on her apartment. But Lucy seemed genuinely excited to spend some much-needed time with her mother. Everything really was working out.

As Olivia was unpacking and figuring out what her and Noah would do their first evening, the housekeeper Claire stopped in to check on her.

"Ms. Benson?" the older woman asked. "Mr. Dodds asked me to check in and make sure you were getting settled in. Is there anything you need? I stocked the fridge and while it may not be the most toddler-proof home, I made sure to lock away anything dangerous."

"Oh, wow," Olivia said. "Thank you so much. You can call me Olivia. I prefer it. And this is Noah. Anyway, we seem to have everything we need. We're just happy to be here for a chance to relax."

"Olivia, it's nice to meet you and Noah," she said. "I'm Claire. I live in the guest home next door, if you do need anything or have any questions. My phone number is on the fridge with some recommendations for dining. I hope you and your son have a good vacation."

"Thank you," Olivia said. "We were actually just figuring out what to do tonight. Is there anything going on nearby or kid-friendly places we could get some dinner and explore?"

"If you and Noah like pizza, Federico's is the best around – in my opinion," Claire said. "And it's very kid-friendly. It's a family-run business, so family-friendly it is."

Olivia chuckled and smiled. "You must have children or been around them," she said.

"Four children and nine grandchildren," Claire said. "With another grandbaby on the way."

"You're blessed," Olivia said. "Thank you for checking in on me and for all your help."

"Any time," Claire said. "I can check in tomorrow if you want, but if you want privacy, I understand that as well."

"We should be ok, but if you want to stop by, it'll be nice to see you again," Olivia said.

"Well, Ms. Olivia, it's been a pleasure meeting you," Claire said. "I'll let you and Noah finish getting settled. If you go to Federico's, tell them you're a friend of Claire's."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you."

She had been in the Hamptons less than a few hours, a place she wasn't expecting to feel totally comfortable, and already felt right at home.

This was going to be a good week. She had a good feeling about it.

#

"We'll have a small pepperoni and green pepper pizza and a Caesar salad," Olivia said when the server came to take her order. "I'll have a merlot to drink and this guy will have milk."

"In a cup with a lid, I presume?" the young girl asked.

"Oh, yes, please," Olivia said.

"I'll be right back with your drinks," the server said.

When she returned a few minutes later, she sat Noah's milk in front of him, as well as crayons and a coloring mat. Noah immediately started coloring.

"And your wine," the girl said. "By the way, I understand you're a friend of Claire?"

"How did you?" Olivia began.

"It's not that big of a place," she said. "Claire called and said a friend of hers and her young son would maybe be coming by. Most everyone else in here are locals, so it wasn't hard to figure out you were the friend."

Olivia laughed. "Claire is kind."

"She really is the best," the girl said. "I'll be right back with your salad and your pizza shouldn't take too long."

Olivia colored along with Noah while they waited on their food. Olivia was glad there was a lid for his cup, as he almost immediately picked it up – two hands- and tilted it back, even if he was drinking from a straw.

"Careful, Noah," Olivia said. "Just leave it on the table and drink through the straw, ok buddy?"

"Ok, Mommy," Noah said. He focused his attention back on coloring until their food came. Then Olivia had to hold him back so she could cut his slice up and let it cool off. Of course, the eager boy popped in a piece that was still too hot right away, burning the roof of his mouth.

"Baby, it's just like home," Olivia said. "We have to let it cool for a minute."

"But I hungry," Noah said.

"I know, but you don't want to burn your mouth again do you?" Olivia said gentle. "Here, take a drink of milk. It'll help your mouth. You can eat some of my salad while we wait on the pizza to cool."

After a few minutes, the temperature had cooled, so both Noah and Olivia could start eating the pizza. As Olivia was mid-bite, however, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Let me guess, pepperoni and green peppers."

Olivia froze for second, then finished her bite and quickly pulled the slice away, trying not to let the cheese drip down on her chin. She turned to her side to see the person who was now standing next to her table.

"Alex," Olivia said. She was surprised to see the former SVU ADA standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"Same as you, except I prefer mushrooms to green peppers," Alex joked. Olivia chuckled and motioned for Alex to sit down across from her and Noah. "Actually, my dad has a place out here and I decided to come for a few days before the madness of summer gets here."

"Oh, that's right. Of course," Olivia said. "We are staying at –"

"Bob Bryant's place?" Alex said.

"How did you?" Olivia found herself saying for the second time that evening.

"It's not that big of a place," Alex said. "And people are pretty nosey."

"I'm getting that," Olivia said.

"I actually didn't know when I saw you," Alex said. "It took me a minute to put it together. I know Bob and Dodds are tight, and I saw you all had a pretty tough case going on lately. Is this a mandatory vacation?"

"Well, kind of, but not the kind Cragen used to send me on," Olivia said. The two women shared a laugh and stared intently. It had been a long time since they had seen each other.

"What's it been?" Olivia said.

"Well, how old is Noah?" Alex said.

"Three and a half," Olivia said. "And I saw you after the adoption, so I guess it's been a couple of years."

"Too long," Alex said.

"Agreed," Olivia said. "Are you here with someone? Your dad?"

"Oh, no," Alex said. "It's just me. He's not out here with me."

"Well, I don't know if you've ordered or not, but you're welcome to join us," Olivia said. "I mean, if you can tolerate my green peppers."

"I was going to get my food to-go, but…," Alex paused, uncertain if she wanted to interrupt family time. "I'd hate to impose on your time with Noah. Besides, I could eat one of those small pizzas myself. Rookie move, Liv."

Olivia laughed. "Noah isn't quite eating me out of house and home yet," Olivia said. "And Claire apparently stocked the fridge at the house."

"Oh, isn't Claire the best?" Alex said.

"You know Claire, too?" Olivia said. Alex tilted her head down and raised her eyes. "Of course, you do. Everyone knows each other here. All the same, you wouldn't be imposing at all."

"I'll tell you what," Alex said. "Let me order a salad and some garlic sticks for us. I'm surprised Claire didn't give you that tip. The garlic sticks are the best. We call them crack sticks in my family."

"Deal," Olivia said. "Is it ok with you if Alex joins us, Noah?" Olivia realized Noah had become quiet, intently watching the interaction between her and Alex.

"Your friend?" Noah asked.

"Yes, Noah," Olivia said. "Alex is my friend. We used to work together."

"It's very nice to meet you Noah," Alex said, offering her hand to him across the table. Noah's small hand reach out and shook it as a 3-year-old would.

"Is she your friend like Tuck?" Noah asked, turning to Olivia. Olivia blushed and avoided eye contact with Alex. Alex smirked. She hadn't seen Olivia in two years, but she knew enough from the courthouse rumor mill to know that "Tuck" meant Ed Tucker. Alex had to admit, she was surprised when she heard they were dating – even unbelieving – but she also heard from a number of people how happy Olivia had been with Tucker. How they made an unlikely, but fitting pair. She'd seen the change in Tucker firsthand over the years.

Alex silently wondered what happened.

"Um, no, not quite like Tucker," Olivia said. "But Alex and Mommy used to be good friends."

Used to be.

The words stung – both of them. It wasn't that anything had happened to cause them to drift apart. Just a series of things. Witness protection – twice. The Congo. The revolving door of ADA at the SVU – at least until Barba had arrived. And of course, their jobs were also the number one priority to them. It was easy to go weeks, months, and eventually years without talking.

Somehow, they had just drifted apart. She couldn't really explain it other than life just got in the way.

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