A/N: Guys so sorry this has taken me a bit to update. I've been sick and work has been stressing me out... you know life. I hope you haven't forgotten about this little story, I'm trucking along. -Mel
19.
Alex didn't call Olivia immediately after meeting with Liz.
Though she knew she was probably out of her mind with worry and curiosity, Alex knew the moment she heard Olivia's voice she would break down.
And she couldn't break down.
Not there.
Her body physically ached as she walked down the busy streets of lower Manhattan, down the hallways to her office.
Telling Liz about the Byrne's and what they had done was exhausting. Pretending that she was fine took every ounce of will, and every ounce of pull yourself together and suck it up she had.
Alex fell into her chair behind her desk, her body slumping into the cool, brown leather.
She had been gripping her phone in her hand since she left Liz's office.
She listened to the phone ring once before Olivia's voice seeped into her ear.
"Babe?"
There was relief in Olivia's voice just to see Alex's name appear on the screen of her phone.
"Hey," was all Alex managed to say.
"You ok?"
Olivia couldn't see Alex shake her head yes. Instead, she heard silence.
"Alex?"
"Yeah, I'm here."
"I'll come to you. Where are you? Are you in your office?"
Again, Alex paused. Yes, that's what she wanted, she wanted Olivia.
"No, no everything's fine. I'm fine. Just a lot, ya know?"
"Yeah."
Olivia did know.
"We can talk now or… I'll be home as soon as I can."
Olivia was trying desperately to read Alex.
Read what she needed.
"My conversation w Liz was good," she said relaying enough answer one of Olivia's questions. "I have work to do, I shouldn't be too late, meet me at my apartment?"
Alex's voice had changed, now more assertive.
"Of course, of course."
Olivia got she wasn't ready to talk and she wouldn't push.
"Okay," Alex said sounding relieved as a silence filled the space between them again.
"Babe, I love you."
Tears welled up in Alex's eyes.
"I love you."
And she quickly hung up the phone.
AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO
Alex made her way through the front door of her apartment.
She had done all of the "must do's" and left the rest for a clearer-headed tomorrow.
Alex didn't expect Olivia to be there, assuming she wouldn't be able to get away from the precinct that early, but she could hear water running in the bathroom.
"Liv are you here?" Alex called out but quickly distracted by the large bouquet of peonies lying on the kitchen counter.
Alex made her way to the flowers, admiring them, sticking her nose against the blooms, breathing in their sweet scent.
"I saw them and thought of you," Olivia said, peering around the corner.
Alex stifling her smile as she captured her bottom lip between her teeth.
"They're beautiful."
"Yet they still don't compare to you."
Letting go of her lip, Alex grinned at the compliment.
"The robe looks better on you," she said noticing Olivia was wearing her violet colored silk robe.
"You steal mine, I steal yours," Olivia teased.
Olivia had made her way to Alex, kissing her softly on the lips, until Alex provoked a more passionate kiss.
Pulling away it took a moment for Olivia to gather her thoughts, dazed by the kiss.
"I've opened wine and the tub is waiting. I was hoping you would join me."
"That sounds amazing, but you don't have to do this."
Olivia started to unbutton Alex's suit jacket, then pulling it from her shoulders, "Yes I do, that's why I am here, to talk, to love you, to fix you a pretty great bubble bath."
Olivia looked up at Alex holding her gaze, assuring her permission before she pulled the silk camisole from Alex's skirt.
Alex could now feel Olivia's fingers against her stomach and rising upwards to remove the camisole over her head.
Olivia lips immediately went to Alex's bare shoulders, pebbling kisses across her skin.
Alex pulled at the silk tie that held the robe in place against Olivia's body.
She pulled it loose and the robe immediately parted, revealing Olivia completely naked underneath.
Alex sucked in a sharp breath still enamored by her lover's body.
The corner of Olivia's mouth turned upward, satisfied w the look on Alex's face.
Alex reached for Olivia, unable to stop her hands from cupping the voluptuous breasts in front of her.
Olivia moaned as Alex kneaded her breast, her protruding nipples slipping between Alex's fingers where she pinched them lightly
"You have to stop doing that, we'll never make it to the tub."
Alex grinned releasing Olivia's breasts, then stepping back to undo her skirt and shimmying it down her thighs until it hit the floor.
Olivia looked at the blonde in her matching panty set and her heels.
"You are so incredibly sexy, I'm the luckiest woman on earth," she growled.
Alex pulled Olivia quickly back against her.
"Loose the heels Cabot," Olivia said her voice deeper.
Alex strategically placed her hand inside Olivia's robe to her bare hip, holding on for balance as she stepped out of her heels.
They now stood almost eye to eye.
Olivia kissed Alex once again before taking her hand guiding her to the bathroom.
The tub filled with bubbles and the room permeated with the smell of lavender.
"You are the most incredible woman," Alex said noting the two glasses of wine, sitting on the edge of the tub.
Olivia smiled with the compliment and pulled the robe from her shoulders, now standing there completely naked in front of Alex.
"You're killing me," Alex said her eyes roaming.
"Take off your bra and panties," Olivia said almost whispering.
Jesus, Olivia was killing her.
Alex undid her bra, slowly letting the lace fall to the floor. She then slid her panties down her thighs, down her long legs, stepping out of them.
Olivia took a moment to admire her. She then stepped in the tub sitting down, speeding her legs, making room for Alex, before motioning her pointer finger for her to join her.
Alex got in, now sinking her sudsy skin against Olivia's core, her belly, her breasts very noticeably against her.
Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex for a few moments as they adjusted to the warm water.
Alex then reached for Olivia's hand covering it with her own.
She guided Olivia's hand across her belly, to her breasts.
Olivia took the cue and Alex revelled in Olivia touching her gently, but deliberately.
Alex leaned her head back against Olivia's shoulder but still continued to guide Olivia's hands over her body
With one swift moved Alex pushed Olivia's hand between her legs
Olivia continued massaging Alex's lower outer lips.
Alex reached back cupping Olivia's head closer to her
"Baby please," Alex whispered.
Olivia slipped her fingers between Alex's folds leaving Alex still holding on to the back of her hand.
Alex concentrated on the motion.
Olivia had changed her mood, softened her hardened protective shell… and would soon send her over the edge
"Don't stop," Alex said, barely audible.
Olivia ran the tips of her fingers methodically against Alex's clit.
Rhythmic and patient as Alex gripped Olivia's now damp hair.
Olivia pressed her lips against the lobe of Alex's ear as she felt her body tense.
Alex gripped Olivia's arm as her body started to quiver.
Olivia slowed her rhythm as Alex rode out her orgasm.
"You make me feel so good, baby... I'm so good when I'm with you," Alex's breathed as her heartbeat slowed.
When she could move again, Alex sat up turning around in the tub to face Olivia.
She instantly kissed her passionately.
They sat in the tub in silence as Alex ran her fingers down Olivia's neck, across her shoulders…
God she loved touching her. She loved being with her. She had never been this intimate with anyone.
Never trusted, never loved anyone as much as she did Olivia.
Olivia reached for one of the glasses of wine, handing it to Alex, then reaching for her other.
Alex took a sip. "I have to be honest, after today, I didn't think I would be in this tub relaxed, feeling like I am right now."
"That's what surprises are for," Olivia grinned.
Alex took another slow sip of the red wine, Olivia could tell she was replaying the day.
"Wanna talk about it?" Olivia asked twirling strands of Alex's wet hair around her finger.
Alex leaned back against "her end" of the tub, opposite of Olivia, still keeping contact with Olivia with her hand on her leg.
"Of course Liz's reaction wasn't a surprise. Much like yours, she was in disbelief, she was angry…"
"How did she react when you asked her to represent you?"
"I think she was surprised, but then she seemed to be ok with the idea. She quickly jumped into asking questions. And she pointed out that our relationship would be scrutinized. Not only because you're the Lieutenant of special Victims, but because you're a woman."
"But we knew that."
"And I told Liz that we did, it's just… Liv, you don't need this."
"Alex!"
"Liv, they could put your personal life, your professional life on the front page."
"I've been there."
"They'll drag us through the ringer."
"Alex, I'm not leaving your side. Babe, you have to believe how much I love you. How brave and amazing I think you are for standing up, for not letting them get away with this. Not letting them do this to someone else."
"You're being too understanding, too perfect."
Olivia raised her brow.
"I'll stop being so understanding, the perfect part I can't help." Olivia teased.
Alex smirked playfully rolling her eyes.
"If we go to court you'll hear everything." Alex looked away, "You'll know the details of what he did to me. And I know you've heard it all, but Liv, it's me."
"If you want me to say I'm not horrified by the thought of hearing the details..."
It all comes flooding out.
"You want to know? You want to know the details of what he did to me?" Alex questioned her voice almost icy.
Olivia sat further up in the rub, pulling away from Alex's touch.
"No, no I don't want to know. But it happened Alex. I love you and anything concerning you matters to me, even if it not neat and pretty. And if something hurts you it's going to hurt me. It's inevitable."
"I don't want to be what hurts you. Not you, your career."
"Alex you can't always protect me from someone who throws stones and I can't always protect you. What I can do is be here, be as strong as I can be for you, and love you no matter what."
"Are you ready for everyone to know about us?"
"Alex, we talked about this."
"The circumstances were different."
"No, they're not. I love you. I'm in love with you. And it doesn't matter if the Brass, or the Byrne's, or the world knows, or has an opinion. That has not changed, that won't change."
"You think everything will be ok?" "You're not worried that they will ruin everything we have?"
"The truth?"
"Of course."
"I think if you didn't go through with this we would still be facing the same uncertainties. One because that's life. Life is uncertain. But, also if you hadn't told me if you hadn't decided to let this secret out, decided to stand up, I'm not certain who you would have become carrying all that weight around."
"More of a mess than I already am."
"You're not a mess. You're amazing."
"Ha."
Olivia leaned in kissing Alex, before she stood up, the now lukewarm water rushing down her body.
Alex watched Olivia as she stepped out of the tub wrapping herself in a towel and then reaching for Alex's hand, "come on".
Alex took Olivia's hand, stepping out of the tub beside her on the bathmat as Olivia wrapped a towel around her.
"I know today was hard and it's just the beginning. And I know some days bubble baths won't do the trick, but we'll figure it out."
Alex shook her head.
"Ok, now let's order dinner because I'm certain you barely touched your lunch you had with Liz."
"So you're just going to make everything better?" Alex asked seriously.
"I'm sure as hell gonna try."