I wouldn't resist.

For leinbow. 8D

Takeshi met Tsuna when they were just seven years old. It wasn't hard to miss Tsuna, short and fluffy looking. Tsuna was a shy kid, the only other boy not partnered up for their small gardening project.

"I wish I was a gardening robot," Tsuna said as he looked at the limp looking plant he was holding. A week of taking care of plant with Takeshi and this was what was produced.

"I don't think that's going to help," Takeshi said, wincing as a leaf fell off. The poor plant didn't look very good. Maybe they overwater it?

"It might have!"

Frankly, Takeshi found Tsuna to be a little odd. Not that Takeshi would ever tell Tsuna that. It was rude according to his mother. But strange indeed. Takeshi couldn't really describe exactly how Tsuna was strange, it was like his head was screwed on just a little too much to the left.

But strange as Tsuna was, he was very nice and Takeshi found himself a friend in Tsuna.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Takeshi help!"

Takeshi stared up the tree. There in the highest branches was Tsuna, staring down at him. Takeshi had only gone to the bathroom! "How did you even get up there?"

Tsuna scowled. "There was this puppy. One day I'm going to smite them all."

Takeshi felt a brief wave of horror wash over them. "But they're puppies!" Puppies were the best things ever. How could Tsuna think of smiting them? (How did Tsuna even know the word smite? Takeshi made a mental note to ask his mother about the word. He didn't know the exact meaning but it sounded bad.)

"Still agents of evil!"

Tsuna was so strange.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Three months after Takeshi met Tsuna, his beloved mother passed away. He tried to smile like his father asked him to, tried to find a way to move on without his guiding light. It was so hard, so overwhelming, but Takeshi had to try, try and pretend things were normal.

"Hi Tsuna!" Takeshi said with false cheer. He waved as Tsuna approached the desk they shared.

Tsuna merely looked at him before taking a seat next to him, pressing close. "It's okay to cry," Tsuna said.

Takeshi felt the dam of his tears collapse and he bowed his head, crying. "I-I miss her s-so much!" he sobbed into Tsuna's shoulder. Tsuna just held him close.

That was the day that Tsuna solidified his and Takeshi's friendship.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As Takeshi previously mentioned, Tsuna was a little strange. He figured Tsuna must get it from his mother.

"Oh so cute! I had no idea that my silly dame son had such a cute friend," Sawada Nana cooed over Takeshi.

Takeshi tilted his head, already wary over the way how Nana called Tsuna her silly dame son. He couldn't really believe that Nana was calling Tsuna that, not when Tsuna immediately looked down at his feet in response. He was pretty sure your parents weren't supposed to call children names. It was rather mean. If Takeshi wasn't supposed to call Tsuna strange per his mother's polite manners instructions, what did it mean when Tsuna's own mother called him names?

He frowned when Tsuna suddenly bounced back, agreeing that he was indeed a dame person.

Right.

Clearly Takeshi had to be more careful with his handling of Tsuna. Someone was going to take advantage of his friend, he just knew it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Dad, teach me the sword," Takeshi asked.

Tsuyoshi blinked, surprised. He rubbed his chin, surveying his eight-year-old son. "Why do you want to learn?"

Takeshi frowned. He thought of the bullies that teased and picked fights with Tsuna. He thought of Sawada Nana and her even stranger personality. He thought about the crazy situations that Tsuna got himself into. "Tsuna is gonna need a lot of protecting," Takeshi said. He paused, tilting his head. "Also, can Tsuna sleepover?"

Tsuyoshi laughed. "Sure thing."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Six years later, Takeshi finally had a good word to describe Tsuna's strangeness.

Insane.

It was a good word. Perfect to describe the situation that Tsuna led himself into. (Takeshi left Tsuna by himself only for the night! How did this happen?!)

"I'm going to become a mafia boss, Takeshi!" Tsuna proudly announced.

Takeshi looked at him in horror, mouth hanging slack. "A mafia boss?" he repeated faintly. He instantly started imagining guns and bullets, Tsuna dressed in a black suit and ordering off someone to be killed.

"Yup!" Tsuna said. "Dad's apparently a mafioso and if I become boss, he'll become my underling!"

Takeshi felt his heart constrict. "No, Tsuna," he tried. "You don't want to become a mafia boss." It was like the robot incident all over again. Clearly Tsuna wasn't thinking this through. His gentle friend be a bloodthirsty mafia boss? No. Absolutely not. "Tsuna, it's a bad idea."

Tsuna pouted. "I think it's a good idea!"

Oh god. Someone help him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Takeshi was pretty certain he hated Reborn. Because the baby (who couldn't be a real baby) caused chaos everywhere. Reborn brought in Gokudera, who was a walking explosive just waiting to go off. Reborn brought in Lambo who had a bazooka that broke the laws of physics and did time travel of all things. Reborn brought in Ryohei who broke down walls and caused so much property damage. Reborn brought in Hibari to spar against Tsuna (and Tsuna willingly went!). And then there was Bianchi, Shamal, the eat and runs, and just so many incidents that Takeshi was beginning to lose count.

But most importantly, Reborn corrupted Tsuna.

Like absolutely corrupted Tsuna.

"DO IT WITH MY DYING WILL!"

Takeshi buried his head in his hands before grabbing the bag of Tsuna's spare clothes. Once again, Tsuna was running around in his underwear. What kind of person did that for kicks and giggles?

Clearly the one who had an evil not-a-real-baby as a tutor.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Everything alright, Takeshi?" Tsuyoshi asked.

Instead of eating dinner, Takeshi was staring intently at his chopsticks, muttering to himself. Surely the potato wasn't that interesting nor could it have done anything to warranted that same focus Takeshi gave the straw dummies before he sliced them into pieces.

"I think tying Tsuna up and locking him somewhere safe is the best route," Takeshi announced. He froze as he realized what he just said, potato dropping from his chopsticks.

"Dad," Takeshi said with a note of fear in his voice. "If I ever say anything crazy sounding like that again, run me through my katas until I can't stand okay?"

Tsuyoshi laughed. "Very well."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"This is a bad idea," Takeshi remarked as they approached Kokuyo Land. They were walking into enemy territory with very little idea of what said enemy could do. In fact, the only things they knew (like the fact that Mukuro was a wanted criminal) should have served as a warning that a bunch of amateurs shouldn't be handling this situation.

Especially if Hibari already lost.

"Mukuro has kidnapped Fuuta, Takeshi!" Tsuna said with a pout. "We have to get him back!"

"You didn't have to come, baseball idiot. Juudaime and me would have been enough!" Gokudera said, puffing up with bravo.

Takeshi resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. They weren't going to listen to him. "No, you wouldn't have," he said. He turned to look at Reborn who had been oddly silent. "I hope you're planning to help."

Reborn merely smirked. "No, Tsuna is capable enough to stop Mukuro."

"And who is supposed to stop Mukuro's lackeys?" Takeshi asked. Reborn was the 'strongest' here, if his title was anything to go by and yet all he was going to do was sit back and watch? Why didn't Tsuna realize that this was dangerous?

Reborn's smirk merely grew wider. "You and the others."

Takeshi stared at him before squeezing his eyes shut. "I hate you so much," he said vehemently.

"You make perfect Guardian material," Reborn shot back.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"We will be taking Mukuro back," the Vindice agent said.

"No," Tsuna said.

Takeshi sighed as Reborn tensed. Of course, this would happen. He wasn't even surprised. This was exactly what he was trying to prevent and now there was no turning back.

"Tsuna," Reborn started.

"No," Tsuna said more firmly.

"This is not up for debate," the Vindice agent said.

Tsuna narrowed his eyes. Takeshi scooped up a stunned Mukuro and took sheltered. He knew that look in Tsuna's eyes. This wasn't going to end well.

KABOOM!

"What was that?" Mukuro shouted.

The entire room had been blown away. Everything had been burnt into ashes, a deep trench over 200 feet long, stretching down the hill; trees gone and the ground charred.

"We're so lucky this isn't Namimori. Hibari-senpai would be so upset," Takeshi said.

"I… Tsuna shouldn't have this level of firepower yet," Reborn said, startled.

Takeshi gave Reborn a flat look. "I have spent the last six years trying to contain Tsuna's strangeness, guide him away from people like you and you have to go and undo all that hard work. On top of that, you have him firepower. This is like the puppy incident except ten times worse because now Tsuna actually has the ability to obliterate people."

"This is so cool!" Tsuna shouted. "Takeshi did you see that?" He bounced over to Takeshi, beaming. "I didn't even know it could do that!"

"That was untested?!" Mukuro yelped from the background.

Takeshi just sighed. "I saw, Tsuna. Please don't go crazy with it."

It was futile to ask, but Takeshi lived in the hope that one day Tsuna would listen to him.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Voi you shitty kid," Squalo said, leveling his sword at Takeshi. "Don't think you're going to win."

Takeshi looked at him, unimpressed. "It's Tsuna," he repeated slowly. Did no one actually look up what Tsuna did before Reborn arrived in Namimori? Their classmates alone could have told them numerous of ridiculous situations that Tsuna got himself into. "Even by some chance you beat me, your boss doesn't stand a chance against Tsuna."

"The fucking trash weakling?" Squalo said. "Xanxus will eat him alive."

Takeshi's eyes narrowed. Tsuna's craziness aside, Takeshi still didn't like it when people insulted Tsuna like that. Tsuna was strange yes, but that didn't mean people had to be rude about it. It was poor manners.

He flicked his wrist, Shigure Kintoki transforming. "I guess, I'll just have to treat you more seriously than I thought. Utsushi Ame!"

Squalo didn't even stand a chance. The fight was over in a matter of minutes.

"So you can fight," Reborn remarked after the fight was done. "You're strangely hesitant, I wasn't sure."

Takeshi frowned. "That's because violence shouldn't be the first response, even if Tsuna needs all the protecting he can get." His eyes narrowed as he looked at Reborn. "You have a good plan to help Tsuna win his fight, right?"

"Tsuna said to leave it up to him," Reborn remarked. "It's a good sign that he is taking it seriously."

"... You left it up him?" Takeshi asked, paling. That… was such a bad idea on so many levels. He thought Reborn was supposed to be some sort of super tutor. Hadn't he figured out that letting Tsuna do things by himself was a recipe for disaster?

"It will be fine," Reborn said confidently.

No, no it wouldn't.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

There were screams in the air, specifically Xanxus' screams and Tsuna's deep cackle. Everyone watched the fight (if it could be called that) in various degrees of horror or glee.

"Where did he get the bombs?" Colonnello asked as a chain of explosions went off.

"Gokudera," Yamamoto answered, shoulders slumped in resignation. Next to him, the other Guardians cheered Tsuna on.

"Gokudera doesn't carry mustard gas," Shamal pointed out.

"Pretty sure he got that from Hana," Takeshi said.

"Kurokawa Hana?" Shamal asked in disbelief.

Takeshi pinched the bridge of his nose. "You have no idea how happy I was to learn that she had decided to be a lawyer instead of a biochemist." Hana as a biochemist was downright terrifying and it took many distractions on Takeshi's part to make sure Hana and Tsuna's schemes didn't work.

"Tar and feathers?!" Squalo shouted from his wheelchair. "What the fuck? Glitter bombs?!"

"Haru," Takeshi said with a touch of pity. It had been a nightmare on his part when Tsuna introduced Haru to him. Haru had access to supplies and no previous knowledge that one should limit the type of supplies Tsuna should have access to.

A machine gun went off in the distance. "Where did the machine gun come from?" Dino asked.

"Reborn's stash probably," Takeshi said.

"It's firing electric shock bolts," Reborn said. "I don't have anything like that."

"Now you do," Takeshi said. "Tsuna can modify anything." A giant robot dropped from the sky, crushing half the building. "And there's the giant robot."

"Why… why is there a giant robot?" Colonnello asked.

"Leftovers from the robot incident," Takeshi said. Two years ago had been a very trying time. Tsuna had, back then, made good progress on his dream to be a robot. To this day, Takeshi had no idea where Tsuna got the supplies, knowledge and skills to build a giant robot. For the sake of his sanity, he never asked Tsuna either.

Takeshi glared at Reborn. "I keep telling you, this is why Tsuna has to be watched constantly!"

Reborn just blinked, wordless.

Takeshi sighed. Well there was no turning back at this point. Tsuna was going to take over the world and reshape it in his image. Six years of hard work down the drain. The best Takeshi could do now was to roll with the punches, do damage control, and hope for the best.

They were going to need it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Read the post that inspired this fic over here seitosokusha#.#tumblr#.#com#/#post/161539765893/p-invent-a-random-au-for-any-fandom-we-always

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