Tokyo was crowded, you knew that from the numerous times you'd visited before. But it never felt overwhelming like it did right now. Before you'd always been with Tama, and he was able to easily navigate all the hustle and bustle. You'd always felt safe and calm because he'd been confident in his direction and actions.

But standing here, on your own, watching everyone moving around, determined to get to their destinations….

This was the first moment since you'd left Florida all those hours ago that you were regretting your plan.

Sweeping your eyes around, you attempted to recall anything from the other times you'd visited. Landmarks. Direction. Words. Anything.

You felt accomplished that you'd managed to get from the airport on one of the trains to what you knew was around the area where the apartment was.

But now you felt like you didn't know your left from your right, and were just standing on a sidewalk, looking dumbfounded, everyone going passed you.

With a sigh, you decided it was probably time to let your ruse be up. Going into your purse you pulled out your cell phone. Your lock screen was a picture of Tama and you happily mid-embrace on the dance floor at your wedding, and it always made a small smile come to your face.

Unlocking the item, you easily pulled up Tama's contact and selected it. Putting the device to your ear, you hoped as you listened to it ring that he was even available to take your call.

God, I really didn't fucking think this through enough, you chastised yourself.

"Hey." The voice that came on the line wasn't your husband's, but his brother's.

"Oh, uh, hey," you replied. This was just another thing that was making you regret your current actions. "Is, uh, Tama around?"

"He's in the middle of an interview on my phone," Tanga explained. "But he'll be done in a minute and I didn't want him to miss your call."

"You're too sweet," you stated, causing him to laugh, indicating he caught your double-meaning. Taking a shaky breath, you again let your eyes roam around the busy city you were standing in. "Listen, um, actually…it's probably good I got you."

"…OK?"

"Fuck," you declared, finally letting your emotions win. You couldn't keep this secret any longer. Closing your eyes, you leaned your head back onto the side of the building you were standing in front of. "I think I did something really stupid."

"What happened?"

"…I'm in Japan."

"What?" You knew your words would have been received with surprise, but there was something else to Tanga's tone. It almost sounded like resistance or dismay. He didn't sound happy about your decision.

"Yea…."

There was nothing else you could say, really. It was what it was. You were across the world, unbeknownst to your husband, in order to see him. You hadn't checked with him about his schedule, except superficially to know he'd be in the area. Even today, you had no idea he was doing interviews now. What else were you interrupting? Why had you done this?

"Tama doesn't know then?"

"No," you confirmed. "I just…I don't know. Like…a couple nights ago I just... Here is where I should be. With him. I've been living half a life, half a marriage, for too long."

"Shit…. You know he's a planner, dude. You know this isn't gonna just…he's gonna be shocked as fuck. Happy, but that may take a while to show."

"I'm realizing that now that I'm standing here, in who the fuck knows where Japan, with no idea how to get to you guys."

"Wait, where are you?"

"I don't even know," you replied, almost lamented. For some reason, you were started to feel more emotional now. Tanga's words stuck with you, making you face the fact that your husband may not be so keen on what you'd done as you thought. The lack of sleep with all your travel also wasn't helping probably. And just the helplessness you were feeling right now...

Tears pricked at your eyes.

"Shit." Tanga's response worried you more. "OK, alright. How about…what do you see around you? Tell me what's sticking out."

You again looked around the area you were in, trying to figure out what would be distinguishable to someone else. But, you couldn't read Japanese. So none of the signs really meant anything to you. You couldn't tell if they were unique or not.

"Uh, I don't know. I guess, so there's obviously some restaurant across from me? It has this pink and gold like façade? And I think…it looks like a drug store near it? And I'm leaning on…I don't know. Some clothing store? I'm across the street from the other stuff."

"OK. I think…the pink and gold restaurant, is there a sign out front? Like a chalkboard sign?"

"YES."

"I got it," Tanga replied, apparently knowing where you were. "Listen. Stay across from it, stay where you are. I got this handled now."

"Thank you," your response was a breath of relief.

"Of course. See you soon." With a couple informal ending statements, you ended the phone call and slid your phone back into your purse. Knowing that Tanga was coming made some of your fear and anxiety fade away.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad choice. Maybe this on-a-whim trip and life decision would be a good one.

Your thoughts continued to slowly shift towards positivity again as you stood and waiting for your escort to arrive.

And then, they did.

And it wasn't Tanga.

There was no way to keep your breathing from stopping as you watched your husband, with very purposeful steps, come upon you on the sidewalk. He didn't look pissed necessarily, but he also didn't look thrilled. That said, you knew he was pissed.

"Hey." It was a weak greeting at best. Tama's eyes flew over you, taking in your appearance, assessing your condition. He looked over you, dressed in a flowing dress with your bag on your arm, down to your suitcase sitting beside you on the sidewalk.

"This all you brought?" You nodded at his gruff question. "A'ight. Come on." Tama took the handle of your suitcase, turning towards the direction he'd come from. You followed along just a step behind him, the both of you quiet. The entire walk was quiet. As you walked, you realized you'd only been a couple blocks off from where you needed to be. It was a hollow victory, at best.

By the time you'd reached the apartment building, you'd gnawed at your lip so much you were amazed it wasn't bleeding. The silence was unbearable to you at this point. If Tama didn't speak to you soon you'd probably burst into tears and collapse onto the floor simultaneously.

Dramatic? Probably. But at this point, it was all you felt capable of.

You followed along quietly into the elevator and didn't miss how hard Tama pressed the button for his floor. The ride felt much longer than it probably was.

In your mind, you began to calculate how easily you could get a flight back to the USA. If this fight lasted maybe an hour or so, you could make it back to the airport fairly quickly, and get a flight back by the end of the day probably.

By the time you'd gotten into the apartment, you'd already planned out how much you'd cry while waiting for your plane, and how much wine you'd need once you landed back in Florida.

Tama brought your suitcase into the living room, leaving it by the wall. You gingerly set your purse on the coffee table. You looked at him briefly, as he had his back to you, looking tense all over.

This was not going to be fun.

"Have you lost your damn mind?!"

Tama wasn't loud in his question, he wasn't yelling. But his tone…it was intense. Fierce. He turned on his feels, finally facing you.

"…no." You felt like a child being scolded, and reacted as such, letting your head tilt downwards so your eyes stared at the carpet.

"Shit, coming here alone? What if you had gotten really lost? What if something had happened to you? Did you think about that?"

"I knew enough to get me around where I needed to be," you reasoned. "It wasn't like I was totally helpless."

"Helpless enough," Tama argued. "Jesus…." He trailed off in his thoughts, whatever they were. You hadn't until this point fully regretted coming to Japan unannounced to those already here. But now you did. Clearly, he wasn't happy to have you.

The silence was suffocating. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, and the worst thoughts were running through your mind as to how he was looking at you.

You knew Tama. You were married to him. You knew he didn't particularly love big surprises and changes. You knew he liked to plan and coordinate and structure things. Why had you at all thought this was a good idea? Why had you decided that it was too much time apart and you had to be with him right now?

Again, the feeling of water filling your eyes happened. Taking in a shuddery breath, you tried to keep yourself in check.

"Shit…." His utterance was lost in the sound of him coming closer to you. You hadn't anticipated it, but his arms came around you, all but yanking you into his own body. When he put his head down to rest against the top of yours, you closed your eyes, absorbing the feeling of him so close.

"I should have told you," you decided.

"No, no, I understand. I love this surprise, I do," Tama assured you. "It's been way too fucking long since I've had you with me. … Thank you. For coming here."

"I missed you." Your words were whispered at best, as you began to accept that he wasn't nearly as upset as you'd made him out to be. He didn't like surprises, sure. But he liked you.

"I've missed you too," he replied, a kiss to your head following. "How long are you here for?"

Squeezing your eyes shut, taking in a deep breath, you knew it was do or die time.

Pulling back from his embrace, you felt him take your cue and drop his eyes. Your eyes barely met his for a second, before you turned and went to your suitcase. Unzipping the front pocket, you dug around for a moment, before pulling out a letter envelope. Slowly you turned and faced him again. With a few steps, you were back near him and held out the envelope for him to take.

Tama took the object, his eyebrow raised towards you. You watched as he opened the unsealed flap, and pulled out a piece of paper. Your heart rate sped up as he unfolded the letter, and his eyes began to scan the typed writing.

You watched as he continued to scan the letter, apparently reading it over more than once. When he seemed satisfied with what he read, he slowly lifted his head until his eyes met yours again.

"…is this…have you…." You couldn't blame him for his disjointed thoughts. This was far from an easy, calm issue.

"No," you answered. "I haven't turned it into anyone yet." With a slow blink, you finally fessed up. "But, if you tell me it's OK, I will call, email, whatever needs to happen, the right people and make it real."

"So you'd what, give up your stuff, your life, and move here?"

"Yes."

It had been one thing to think about doing this, but it felt fully different to confirm to Tama your intentions.

You were fully willing to leave your life in America and come to Japan full time, to be with your husband. You had no idea how it would be to get a job, but you knew until you figured it out, Tama would be able to support your lives. And you also knew that he wasn't worried about that, and only how you'd handle being unemployed and unneeded for things.

The shock on his face confirmed this.

"We've talked about this. For so long. And I just…. What you have going on, it's so much bigger than what I have. This is unique, challenging. My job, my skills…. I can figure out how to apply them here if needed. But you…you have to be in this, here, doing what you do. And I uh, I want to be here with you. I mean, I didn't marry you to be away from you."

Tama continued to just stare at you, his expression unreadable now. You again went back to thinking about how quickly you could get a flight back to Florida.

"…I wasn't ready for this," he stated.

"I wasn't either, honestly," you admitted. "But the other night…. I dunno. I was sitting at home and missing you and it just…like, it's time for this to happen. We've talked about this so much, how we'll manage the distance, what changes would need to happen. And I just, I need to have my life full time, with you."

It was only a moment later that Tama let the letter float to the ground and come towards you. He gently grabbed your face, bringing you up into a strong kiss. You put your own hands on his shirt on his sides, gripping the material.

"Thank you," he broke the kiss to state, before bringing you close again.

You couldn't help but smile a bit into the kiss.

It felt good to be back with your best friend. It felt wonderful to know you wouldn't be without him tomorrow.