Disclaimer: Blue Exorcist isn't mine.
IMPORTANT: Jean is one of the guys from the church Rin and Yukio grew up in.
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Rin swore quietly as he dodged around a corner, stifling his heavy breathing with a hand.
He couldn't be seen.
His ribs ached from the roundhouse kick that asshole had landed, and he was pretty sure that cut was going to leave a scar. He'd need to either get a doctor for stitches or figure something else out, but that required him to stay conscious and resist the urge to pass out from blood loss and dammit that was going to be harder than he'd like because sleep was sounding so nice right now.
Fuck.
He glanced at his arm and gauged the damage. It wasn't a deep wound, but it was still bleeding like a pig and not liable to stop any time soon. He clamped his hand back over it and stumbled to the alley wall before pulling a thick cloth from his bag. He'd learned quickly to keep supplies like this on hand, for when he wasn't close to anything like medical aid.
A quick dousing of alcohol, a stifled yell of agony, and a few moments later, his arm was as bandaged as he could manage.
He carefully slid his arm back into the sleeve of his leather jacket and tucked the hand into his pocket. He'd learned a while back that looking like you were injured was just asking for trouble, and he didn't need any more of that at the moment.
When he sauntered out of the alley, he looked like trouble incarnate looking for someone to take his bad mood out on. People crossed the street to avoid walking past him, sending him wary looks. It was exactly the reaction he was going for.
He let out a silent breath of relief as he made it out of the shiftier side of town. He wasn't sure he'd have made it out intact had someone called his bluff. It just really sucked that Yukio's growing powers were starting to attract the higher echelon demons. Was the guy doing it just to make more work for him?
He snorted quietly to himself. In all reality, he wouldn't put it past him. If Yukio thought that attracting stronger demons might get Rin killed, he might just try it.
He shook the thought of his younger brother away. It wouldn't change anything- not the fact that he wasn't welcome at home anymore, and not the fact that he'd do anything he had to to protect his little brother.
It didn't matter that Yukio hated him, so long as he was safe. So long as it was a long, healthy hate, he could bear the burden of protecting his brother from the monsters in the dark. What the Church would do if Yukio found out Rin was still in town, though, didn't bear thinking on. That was the sort of thing that kept him up at night- that and the thought of what the Church might do to Yukio if they thought it would gain them something.
Because he wasn't even going to pretend he wouldn't give himself up in an instant if it meant protecting Yukio.
The sound of soft crying- a child, he thought, pulled him from his thoughts with a frown. Why was a kid hanging around this area? It might not have been the really bad part of town, but it was still no place for a kid.
"Hey."
The crying stopped as the child- a little girl- froze. Her eyes were huge as they looked at him, and she looked terrified.
"You lost?"
He wasn't good at kids, and he couldn't look like he was vulnerable, so it looked like the kid was going to be nice and terrified of him. Whoopee.
The child nodded, her face pale and streaked with tears.
"You know your address?"
She nodded again and rattled off the address quickly, in the way scared kids do.
"Come on, then," he said, jerking his head in the direction he'd been going anyway.
"My- my mommy said not to go with strangers!"
Well that was just peachy, but he couldn't well leave a kid like this alone in this part of town. He scowled down at her, earning a quiet eep.
"That's a rule to keep you safe, kid," He said eventually, "It doesn't work when you're less safe by staying alone. You stick with me, I'll get you home safe. You don't, someone else might decide they want to take you away."
She considered this for a minute, looking at him quietly. "Mommy said that police officers are people who can help me get home. Are you a police officer?"
"No," he said, breathing slowly, "But did your Mommy ever say anything about people from the Church?"
"She said they're good, too," The little girl nodded. "Are you from the Church?"
"Yeah," He said, a corner of his mouth twitching upward, "Sort of."
This seemed to convince her, and she stood up and followed as he turned away.
"How are you only sort of from the Church?" She asked.
"They don't like me much right now," he shrugged.
"Did you do something bad?" She asked, stopping and looking at him warily.
"No," Rin said, "But my Dad did. The Church decided that makes me a bad person, too."
"Why?" The little girl asked, moving again.
"I don't know why." He sent a silent prayer up that the kid would shut up so he could concentrate on getting her home and get his damn arm some actual medicine, and breathed a sigh of relief when she did.
"Why were you back there, anyway?" He asked. He didn't want to start up the conversation again, but if someone was kidnapping kids or something he'd have to have a talk with them.
"The monster were chasing me," She said quietly.
"Monsters?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
She nodded. "My Daddy doesn't believe me, but they're real!"
"What sort of monsters?" Rin asked, eyeing her.
"There are lots of them," She said, looking hopeful, "There are little black ones that fly around, and there are ones that take my things and pull my hair. And there's the one that chased me today."
"Hmm," he said. He walked a little faster. If there was a demon bold enough to chase kids around in broad daylight, this was pretty damn serious. How had he not heard anything about it before? He snorted to himself and waved that thought away- how would he have heard anything if he went to great lengths to avoid society at all?
The rest of the walk, he kept the kid close to himself and a close eye on the streets.
When her parents ran over to them, frantic, he watched quietly. Until they scolded her for saying she'd been chased by a monster.
"Hang on," He growled, "Are you serious? Your kid just told you that she was running away, terrified, and you call her a liar? How do you think that feels, when her family, the people who are supposed to protect her, are instead calling her a liar? Even if there aren't monsters and she imagined it, you don't attack her! You help her get past that!"
He glared at them, his finger in their faces, before he glanced at the kid and grudgingly offered them advice. "There's a church a few blocks from here. They'll be able to help."
"Are you telling us that there really are monsters?" Her father asked incredulously.
"Everyone's got monsters, just some are easier to see than others." He gave the man a meaningful look and said, quieter, "Even if there aren't, it'll make her feel better."
"Hey, Kid," He said, turning, "Next time you see a monster, let your parents protect you. Don't run off- it's dangerous."
She nodded meekly as he turned away.
Blocks later, he stumbled, the world spinning around him as he leaned against a brick wall. He groaned, wishing that he hadn't lost his shitty apartment last week. Fucking demons wouldn't let him work, and he couldn't keep an apartment if he couldn't pay for it.
Maybe it was for the best, though, he admitted deep inside himself. The Church was too damn good at finding people, and he was on the most wanted list, right at the top. Having his name linked to any one place was dangerous, to say the least.
He tried to make the world focus, the world stop spinning, but he just couldn't. Hell. He wasn't going to be able to protect Yukio, not if this sort of thing kept up. Shit.
The world was going dark, and he couldn't stop it. He could be found any minute, and he wouldn't be able to do a damn thing. Not even for Yukio.
Sorry, little bro.
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It was dark when he opened his eyes again.
"You hungry?"
Rin looked around blearily, eyes landing on a ragged looking man holding out a sandwich of some sort. He reached out automatically to accept it, falling back with a groan as agony flared through his arm at the attempt.
"You're hurt."
Rin nodded shortly, baring his teeth against the yell struggling to escape, and the fire that wanted to burn. He couldn't let anyone know he was a son of Satan, and if he let himself catch on fire again… he groaned, a long, tortured sound.
"Come on, kid," The man said, sliding Rin's good arm around him. He grunted. "Come on, gotta help me out, here."
Rin followed blindly, allowing the man to push and tug him along the roads, only opening his eyes occasionally to get a glimpse of where they were.
When he saw the church in front of him, he stopped short.
"No," he managed to say, dragging himself backward, "Not- not there."
"Dammit, kid," The man said, alarmed, "You're going to die!"
"Yeah," he said, laughing giddily, "'s why I can't go. 'll kill me."
"What?"
There was alarm in the man's voice, he noticed distantly. Alarm and shock, mingled with disbelief, but it didn't matter because he was busy trying not to catch fire.
"Rin?" The voice was distant, alarmed. "Rin, is that you? Shit! What happened?"
"…don't know…found… like this…"
The words spun in his head as the ground spun beneath him. He knew nothing, save this: he couldn't catch fire, and he couldn't go to the church.
"-Rin!"
He was falling- why was he falling?
Right, he'd shoved the arm away from him, tried to backtrack away from the church. That was why the ground had suddenly teleported itself to his face… sideways.
And now there were hands under him, lifting him, resisting his struggles and his mumbled protests. Distant murmurs of alarm echoed in his ears, the words blurring in his ears and muddling his head.
The world was fading again, despite his best efforts. His last thought was to dread the fact that he had no way to avoid being taken in.
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"Nngh."
His head was thick, the world spinning even though he hadn't even opened his eyes yet.
"Drink."
He obeyed automatically, unable to resist even if he'd tried.
The arms holding him up lowered him back down to the pillow, then something cool found itself onto his forehead. The fire in his arm still burned, though it had dulled while he'd been unconscious.
"Damn, kid, you disappear on us for months, and when you show up you're on death's step. You're working to put me in an early grave, aren't you?" It was a tired murmur, filled with worry. He knew the voice, it was one he'd grown up with in the Church.
The Church.
Icy terror roared its way through his veins and he shot upright, forcing himself to one side, off the bed. His injured arm wasn't responding, but that didn't matter because if he was taken by the Church, nothing would ever work again.
"Rin!" The shout was accompanied by rushed footsteps, but he was stumbling back, opening bleary eyes to search for the door and stumbling out. "Rin, wait!"
"No!" He barked, still stumbling away. Hands grasped him, gripped him tight and kept him from moving.
"Idiot! You'll kill yourself!" Jean slapped him, then gripped him tightly again. "I don't know how the hell you got that much venom into you, but if you run off right now, you're not going to live!"
"No!" Rin cried again, struggling weakly. "No! Th- the Church'll kill me!"
"I don't care what the Church thinks!" Jean roared, shaking him. "You're a little brother to me! Let me help you, you idiot!"
He found that Jean was hugging him tightly, holding him up because his legs were no longer willing.
"But- but Yukio-"
"Yukio is fine," Jean said quietly. "What do you think you can do in your state? Get better if you want to do something."
He nodded vaguely and let Jean help him stumble back to the bed.
"Where'm I?" He slurred.
"My house," Jean said. "I'm not stupid enough to take you to the Church. They'd have a field day- a son of the devil coming to them for help."
"Why're you helping me?" Rin asked, groaning as relaxed back into the pillow.
"I helped raise you, and you wonder why I'm helping you?" Jean asked, shaking his head. "You're family, Rin."
"And?" Rin snorted. "Yukio wants to kill me just as much as everyone else, doesn't he?"
"Sorry, kid," Jean sighed, "Yukio's just… he can't really see past the demon bit, I guess."
"I noticed."
He closed his eyes for a long minute, trying not to think about what would happen to him, should anyone learn where he was.
"Do you hate him?" Jean asked quietly.
"No," Rin said. "Never."
"Why not?"
"Same reason you don't hate me," Rin said, "he's my little brother."
"Same old Rin," Jean chuckled, "You used to get banged up because you were always fighting the bullies who went after Yukio… wonder why he doesn't think of that?"
Rin chuckled. "Yeah. Used to."
"Whaddya mean by that?" Jean asked, his attention suddenly focused on Rin.
"Nothing," Rin said.
"Are you- how did you get hurt?" Jean asked suspiciously. Rin turned his head and didn't answer. "Are you serious?"
Rin shrugged silently.
"You are," Jean murmured, "You're still protecting him, aren't you?"
Rin sighed irritably. "Of course I am. Kid attracts demons like flies to honey, you think I'm going to leave him to be eaten or something?"
"You're some kid, you know that?" Jean's grin faded after a long minute. "When you need a hand, come here. I'll fix you up, give you a good meal and a bed. Long's you don't get yourself caught, this place's open to you."
"Like hell," Rin growled angrily. "You think I'm going to do that? If they find me here, you'll be burned at the stake for being 'possessed.'"
"And if they find you because you were too stupid to lay low and recover, you'll be burned at the stake for your genetics."
Jean met his glare without flinching or backing down until Rin huffed angrily.
"Fine," he said, "But if they find me, I threatened you, got that?"
"Deal," Jean said.
When Rin left three days later, he carried with him his pack filled with supplies. His belly was full for the first time in weeks, and he was wearing a thick, new sweatshirt under his jacket. He was grateful for what Jean had done for him, and he had every intention of paying it back by not having a repeat incident. He'd get stronger, evade the Church better.
Jean could do nothing but hope that Rin would come back whole.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-1.5 yrs later=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Rin scowled as he ran. He was nearly out of bullets- only three left- but there were still several of the higher demons running around causing trouble. They'd been going after innocents, which was what had gotten him involved in the first place when nobody from the Church had seemed to act, but now they were about to attack Yukio.
Unacceptable.
He'd have thought the demons would have figured out by now that he didn't like it when they did that. It was interesting, that he'd been playing this game so long and yet nobody seemed to figure out that someone was watching. He wished he'd had time to restock his bullets, but as it was there wasn't time. They were attacking now, and only his persistence in tracking these bastards down and watching them had cued him in on time.
He reached the building he needed, climbed the fire escape quickly to allow him to clamber onto the roof. Rin checked his bullets quickly and pulled his hood lower against the rain, watching for signs of the ambush he'd heard about.
Sure enough, there was Yukio, hurrying along behind a thin human girl who'd been bribed with promises of food and clothes. It was sad that it didn't take much more than that to convince her to help. He watched as the demons stepped out, while Yukio shifted to put himself in front of the girl.
Admirable, but unnecessary.
The demons said something- he couldn't hear over the rain- and the girl stepped out away from Yukio to receive a bundle before running off.
Yukio was tense now- he knew it was an ambush, set up ahead of time and clearly well thought out.
Yukio was just beginning to prepare an attack when the first demon struck, and that was when Rin really started watching. He examined their moves, watched their openings. They were all moving quickly; he couldn't get a shot in just yet.
He waited, counting the seconds and hearing Yukio shout in pain.
There! An opening!
BamBam!
He took it, shots hitting home and the demon falling back. He saw Yukio's astonishment, the pause in his fighting that one of the other demons tried to take advantage of. Rin put a quick end to that.
Bam!
There was just one left in the alley- something in him frowned at that- charging Yukio. He took aim, prepared to shoot-
Then he was gasping, struggling to unlock the arm held tight around his neck as the fourth demon squeezed tighter, the gun clicking uselessly before clattering to the concrete so many stories below as Rin struggled to breathe.
"You aren't making it out of here," The demon growled as Rin shoved backward in a desperate attempt to surprise the demon to loosen its grip. It didn't work, and the solid wall of flesh around him only grew tighter.
There were black spots marring his vision and he could feel himself growing weaker. He was fucked.
His hands fell from the arm limply and he wished he'd had the chance to tell Yukio he loved him. Oh, well. Yukio would be able to survive this encounter, at least, and Rin wouldn't have to hide anymore. Wouldn't have to struggle to find work under the radar, fight for rooms in abandoned buildings or barter for rotten food.
Oddly, it was Jean he thought of as his vision went black, and sorrow he felt because Jean wouldn't know what had happened to him.
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Yukio climbed the last rungs of the ladder quietly, pausing to pull his pistol from its holster and glancing quickly over the edge of the building, just enough to see a figure on the roof.
This was where the shots had come from, he was sure. Someone was up here, and they'd known he was in trouble before even he had. Which meant they'd been watching him.
He held his gun a little tighter- he didn't know what they wanted from him- as he looked again. The figure he'd seen before was leaving, leaping onto another building and gone in an instant.
Damn. He'd wanted to talk to that guy.
He turned away from the roof, frowning when something caught his eye. He glanced back, blinking at the sight of a body, crumpled on the concrete of the roof. Maybe this wasn't going to be a waste, after all.
Yukio smiled grimly as he crept closer. Only feet away, his glasses coated in rain, the first thing he noticed was the pool of blood around the figure. Damn. He'd been hoping to get some questions answered. Oh, well- he could at least check the guy for information.
He flipped the figure onto his back, curious to see who it was that wanted him dead-
And jerked back as though he'd been burned, a flaming rage burning its way through him.
Rin.
His own damn brother had done this. Had planned- for it was obviously planned- to lure him here, kill him.
Son of the devil, indeed.
"Bastard," he hissed furiously, running a hand over his face as he wondered what to do with this. He'd known his brother was a demon for a long time- turned him out years ago, even, but this was still a shock. His own brother.
Rin's eyes were still open, his lips blue and his throat split open. He'd died a horrible death, and Yukio felt a sort of vicious satisfaction- serves you right, traitor- that his brother had not died a peaceful death.
But what to do now?
The Church would want evidence of Rin's death, want his body. He glanced at the fire escape he'd climbed up on and frowned. He searched some more, and found a door leading into the building. Perfect. He hefted the body and began the trek home, vaguely surprised that Rin's body was still warm.
He laughed as tears streamed down his cheeks. His traitorous brother had gotten what he deserved, but it didn't cushion the fact that he had been a traitor. Yukio's mind went to all the years they'd played together, back when Rin had gotten into fights to protect him, not- not this.
He found himself stumbling back to the church he'd been raised in- it wasn't far, closer than the Church, and it was more private. He didn't need to be caught crying because Satan's son had betrayed him.
When he got there, the others looked up, confusion and then horror on their faces as they recognized that it was Rin in his arms, and that the wound on his neck was too obviously fatal. That it was not Rin, but a corpse Yukio was carrying.
"Is that Rin?"
"Rin!"
"Kid!"
The shouts echoed across the churchyard as his fellows dropped everything to run over. Yukio lay the body on the ground silently and stood, expressionless.
"What happened?" Someone finally asked- Yukio didn't have it in him to notice who.
"He betrayed me," Yukio said, his voice raw, "Lured me into his trap, tried to have me killed. Didn't even have the balls to face me-"
A fist landed itself square on his jaw and he stumbled back, tensing- were they going to betray him, too?
"Bullshit!"
Jean's face was red with fury, tears streaking down as the kind man pointed at him. "Bullshit!" He cried again. "Rin would never do that! He lived for you! He was your brother!"
"Hah!" The taste of the words were bitter as he spat them at Jean, "He was on a fucking rooftop trying to shoot me down! The only reason I'm alive is because someone figured out what he was planning!"
"Shut up!" Jean roared, landing another solid blow to his face. "Just shut up about what you don't understand! How do you think it felt when his own damn brother threw him out into the cold, turned his back because of who fathered him!"
"Probably the same way I felt when I found out that my brother tried to kill me!" Yukio shouted back, holding his arms to either side. "He was my fucking brother, and he tried to fucking kill me!"
"Bullshit!" Jean cried again, "That's nothing but a load of bullshit! Why would he try to kill you after he spent all this time protecting you?!"
"Maybe he wanted revenge! Maybe he hated me! Two years of banishment probably made him want to kill me, yeah!" Yukio stomped forward, jabbing his finger at Jean's chest with each word.
"Wrong!" Jean shouted, "He's been watching over you the entire damn time! You ever think about the fact that you don't have every damn demon in the region flocking to you? Did you?! That was because it was Rin out there getting his ass kicked so that his baby brother didn't have to deal with the monsters!"
"Don't fuck with me!" Yukio roared, pulling back and landing a punch on his friend's face. "Don't tell me that my fucking brother did that, when he's the one who killed our father!"
"HE DIDN'T KILL YOUR FATHER!" Jean howled, "YOUR FATHER DIED TO PROTECT HIM!"
"And what the hell could get into a church, that Dad would have to sacrifice himself to protect Rin from?!" Yukio demanded furiously, "Because that's where he died!"
"SATAN! He wanted your brother, but your old man wouldn't back down! He died to keep Rin from being dragged off to Gehenna!"
"And why do you think Rin was protecting me?" Yukio hissed, his fury escalating to icy proportions.
"Because I saw him!" Jean cried, "I saw him full of poison, fighting me so he could go back to guarding you! I heard him screaming in his sleep because he was imagining being too late, or too far to help you! I'm the one who treated his wounds when he was half-dead, dragged him back to life so he could protect your ungrateful ass!"
"What?" Yukio asked, his face paling as he stared at the older man, "No- no, he- no!"
"It's true," Jean hissed, "Did you stop to think it might have been Rin protecting you on that rooftop? Have you done ballistics to find out whose gun was fired, and who got shot? Tell me, where's the gun for that fucking holster on his hip?"
Yukio looked down, his hands shaking, to see that yes, there was an empty holster on Rin's hip.
He dimly recalled the clatter of a gun hitting the ground as he dealt with the third demon, remembered checking the rooftop for anything of note and finding nothing.
He didn't register his knees hitting the pavement, or the cries of alarm that echoed around him. All this time, Rin had been protecting him? All this time? When he'd abandoned his older brother, sent him away because he'd been wrong?
Cold metal was pressing into his hand, rising of its own volition. He swallowed reflexively- what the hell had he done?- as his hand continued to rise, rise, and then the icy barrel was pressed up against his temple, his muscles like iron even as the men around him tried to stop him. He swallowed again, his mouth dry, so dry, as his finger wrapped its way around the trigger, pulling tighter, tighter-
Click.
"Hahahahhaha!"
Yukio heard himself laughing, distantly- felt the hands on his as the world faded. This was his punishment, and it was fitting. Rin had died to save his life, and it seemed he wasn't going to be able to defy his older brother, this time.
He'd run out of bullets.
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There are a number of subtleties in this story, which you may not have caught, which is why I'm explaining them here.
1) Rin died because he was out of bullets, while Yukio lived for the same reason.
2) I didn't intend this to be a part of the story, but the number 4 is unlucky in Chinese, because when mispronounced it turns into 'to die.' There were four of the demons who planned the ambush. Also, Rin only had three bullets- in a way, he died because he didn't have a fourth bullet.
3) Someone did notice that there was someone protecting Yukio- the fourth member of the squad was actually searching for Rin.
4) Jean is based off of Jean Havoc from Fullmetal Alchemist (I just couldn't find the names of the actual guys in the church, and ended up creating him)
5) Rin has been being hunted by the Church since Fujimoto (their dad) was killed, for the dual facts that he is a son of Satan and it is believed (in this fic) that Rin killed Fujimoto.
6) Timeline: Rin was banished. 6 mo. Later he's injured and taken to the Church, where Jean takes him to his own home. A year and a half after that, Rin dies protecting Yukio. The story ends 2 years after Father Fujimoto's death and Rin's banishment.
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Omake- This was initially intended to be a part of the actual story, but it ended up not fitting in anywhere.
"How do you think it feels? The people who are supposed to protect her the most- her family- are calling her crazy and a liar."
Yukio froze in his place as Rin's voice came from around the corner. The words had a bitterness, an old anger, of the sort that could only come from experience.
Rin was speaking of him, he knew- he hadn't protected Rin when the Exorcists came, had instead turned his back on his brother. It didn't matter that his brother was a demon, not really, because Rin hadn't even known until after Father had been killed trying to protect him. Rin had always tried to protect him- using his fists, generally, but it had been effective against the schoolboys who'd bullied Yukio.
And wasn't that what counted? Not the blood running through his veins or the blue fire that engulfed Rin when he was angry, but what he tried to do with it.
A vague memory of a flash, from the corner of his eye, came to mind. He hadn't thought much of it at the time, but the demons harassing him had certainly decreased in numbers after Rin had fled. He'd thought it was because of his increasing prowess, but had he been wrong?
Shit.
Father forgive him.
Shit.
Rin had been protecting him all this time, hadn't he? Even after Yukio had told him to get lost, his brother had continued to do the one thing he'd always done, and stuck around to protect his little brother.