Chapter 2

Riding the elevator up to Lucifer's penthouse for the second time that day, Chloe mentally steeled herself for the upcoming conversation. She still felt dread pooling at the pit of her stomach when she thought about Lucifer standing in the foyer of the clinic, shielding the doctor's body with his own and antagonising the sniper. She had been so incredibly worried. It had taken considerable willpower to get her legs to move in the direction of the shooter and not rush downstairs and pull Lucifer to cover. She'd also been so, so angry. Furious even. She still was. And this time she planned to make certain that he remembered that he was not invincible. The elevator dinged announcing her arrival. She'd given Lucifer a heads up on the way. She didn't want to stumble upon him enjoying the company of one of the bridesmaids from the wedding. She'd probably shoot him, if she did. He didn't deserve some celebratory shag after putting his life on the line like that. No, what he deserved was a sound thrashing that conveyed the clear message that for one she would not condone his awful behaviour throughout this investigation and most importantly that he was not immortal. She would not make the same mistake twice.

Entering the penthouse she spotted Lucifer sitting at his piano, his appearance still slightly dishevelled but not as bad as earlier that day. He'd changed into a different suit, but was already missing the suit jacket. His hair looked like he'd made an effort to style it back into its usual pristine appearance but had got ruffled again by someone –most likely Lucifer himself – running his hand through it repeatedly. He turned around upon her entry.

"Detective," he greeted her. She eyed him carefully. Something was off. Well something other than whatever was bothering him recently. He was still angry, she could see that. But now he also seemed ... dejected? "Have you come to chastise me again?"

"Well, I've come to do better job than I did earlier," she consented. His expression turned sour again at her words and he turned his attention back to his piano. "I would still like to know what's bothering you so much." She leant on the piano top to look at him, although he didn't grant her his attention as he fiddled with the keys. "And then we will talk about your apparent suicide attempt – and revisit the issue of your very out-of-place behaviour during this investigation, since apparently I didn't get through to you earlier."

"What's there to talk about then, Detective?" he asked. "You seem to have made up your mind already – and rightly so."

"I really want to help you, Lucifer," she said softly. "But I can't if you don't want to give me something to work with here." He stood abruptly turning away from her. She could see the tension in his shoulders and back. His jerky movements accentuating the anger in his posture.

"What do you want to hear, hm?" he asked with a sneer turning back to face her. His expression almost maniacal. Why did he insist on making this so difficult? She felt her own anger surging again and had to take a deep breath to calm down. It wouldn't do them any good if she got angry too. No, she needed to keep a level head. "Do you want me to apologise for hitting the Douche? Questioning the ex? – I got results, didn't I?"

"That's not the point here, Lucifer," she replied trying to keep her voice calm. It was proving difficult as she saw him roll his eyes at her. God, how she wished to slap that sneer off his face! Her patience was slowly but surely reaching its end. And if he rolled his eyes at her one more time today, he would regret it. Apparently her brain-to-mouth filter was not functioning properly anymore, because that's exactly what came out. A quick flash of shame crossed Lucifer's face but was immediately replaced by a smug look. Most likely because he'd managed to get a rise out of her.

"Then what is the point, Detective?"

"I'd like to understand what triggered this behaviour," she explained again – for the hundredth time it seemed to her. She was starting to think that acting like a child if he didn't get his way was Lucifer's default setting. But then again, she could work with that. She had eight years of experience in dealing with children – and then numerous more in dealing with mothers – her mother to be exact – who acted like children.

"I told you numerous times, Detective. I'm the Devil. I'm evil." Gawd! The itch in her palm was getting intolerable.

"You're not evil," she contradicted sternly and calmly (so proud of herself), straightening her posture and putting a disapproving frown upon her face. Maybe that would get him to straighten up. She decided to try a different approach. "But fine. You don't want to talk about your personal issues. Then let's talk about your behaviour today. Do you want to make an educated guess upon the number of your missteps?" Lucifer opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off before a single syllable left his mouth. "No, I've got a better idea. Why don't you list them and I'll see if I have anything to add." Lucifer's gaze darkened even further before he schooled his features back into a smug grin and leant sideways against his bar. The devilish gleam in his eyes was not reassuring. She strongly suspected some sort of juvenile response in the making.

"What. Ever." Chloe blinked at him in surprise. That was not what she had expected and she was taken off-guard for a moment before something he'd said to her earlier that day pushed to the forefront of her thoughts. That would be an appropriate reaction to his behaviour.

"Fine. – If you want to behave like a child, I will gladly treat you like one. – You can just face that corner over there until you're ready to talk civilly," Chloe ordered pointing at a makeshift corner behind him next to the elevator doors that consisted of a junction of a blank stretch of wall and his bookshelf. It would do, Chloe decided. Lucifer's eyes followed her outstretched arm before snapping back to her face so fast she feared he'd suffer whiplash. Despite her exasperation at his behaviour, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to refrain from laughing at the flabbergasted look upon his face. This was exactly what she'd been hoping for.

"What?" he finally managed to press out, his expression darkening again after his momentary shock.

"You were the one suggesting I put you on the naughty step. – It's not a step, I admit, but it'll do."

"I'm not a child," he said and Chloe could see his jaw clenching tightly.

"Definitely debatable," she replied. "Go now – or would you like some incentive?" She looked pointedly at his belt. "Because you will put your nose in that corner. The only question is whether you want to do so with or without a sore backside." Throwing her a furious look, Lucifer slouched to the designated corner.

"What am I supposed to do here?" he asked angrily stopping just short of actually standing where he was supposed to. And really? That wouldn't do at all. She quickly took the few steps to his side and put her hand on his back to steer him further into the junction of the wall and his bookshelf.

"Stand quietly, calm down and have a think about what you've done," she replied feeling slightly proud of herself for using his own words against him. Lucifer threw her another furious glare. But she refused to let him antagonize her and simply tapped the wall with her finger. "Eyes to the front."

"This is ridiculous," he grouched but fixed his eyes on the wall.

"I couldn't agree more," Chloe replied busying herself to look for an appropriate implement to use, since this was definitely the direction that this discussion was taking them. She couldn't bring herself to use Lucifer's belt again after screwing up so thoroughly earlier. She needed something else. Something sturdy. Her hand would not suffice for the multitude of transgressions he accumulated throughout the day.

"Then why do I have to stand here again?" he asked and without turning around Chloe knew that he'd angled his body away from the corner.

"Face the wall, Lucifer," she said sternly. "And be quiet. We'll continue this conversation once you've reflected on your behaviour." Huffing loudly she could hear him scuffing his shoe against the wall lightly and she allowed herself a small grin. Definitely the right decision to put him in a time-out, albeit a bit unorthodox she had to admit. She rummaged around in his desk drawers in search of a ruler that she could use while watching him out of the corner of her eye. He stood quietly, his head hanging slightly, seemingly accepting his fate in silence – for now. She wasn't naive enough to expect that a bit of time-out would miraculously end this tantrum. He did prove that he was indeed able to keep that up over the course of a whole day. The third drawer finally held what she'd been looking for and with a triumphant look upon her face she pulled out a sturdy wooden ruler. This would do nicely, she thought, and put it down on top of the desk before taking a seat and watching Lucifer closely. His body language still conveyed mostly anger and sadness. His back and shoulders were tense and his posture stiff. That would change before she'd end his time-out. After a few more minutes Lucifer pushed his hands angrily into the pockets of his trousers and kicked the wall, reminding Chloe vividly of Trixie.

"Take your hands out of your pockets," she ordered only to receive a huff in reply, but at least he complied. Another few minutes and his shoulders drooped slightly while his fingers started scratching at the plaster. Chloe had to suppress a smile at his apparent boredom.

"Stop picking at the plaster, Lucifer."

"What am I supposed to do with my hands then?" he asked throwing his arms up exasperatedly. "Do you want me to cut them off?"

"Just leave them at your side and watch your tone. – Your list of transgressions is long enough already," she advised him. "You are thinking about that, aren't you?" With a sense of personal gratification she spied that his ears turned red at her remark. Finally, a sensible reaction. "Are you?"

"Yes," he hissed angrily. "What else is there to do? I'm certainly not counting the wrinkles in the wall!"

"Good to know. Wouldn't want you to get distracted from your task," she drawled. Five more minutes passed before she could detect that Lucifer's posture slackened slightly. His shoulders drooped and he shifted from foot to foot in apparent boredom. Another two minutes and he rested his head against the makeshift corner and scuffed his shoe against the skirting board. Chloe decided to end his torture.

"Are you ready to talk civilly now?" she asked quietly.

"I've never been anything other but civil!" Lucifer claimed hotly turning around to look at her. Chloe blinked in surprise. Apparently he needed a bit more time.

"I've got all night," she said calmly, standing up from her seat on his desk chair and grabbing the ruler to take it to the couch. Making sure that Lucifer got a good look of her chosen implement, as she sat down on the couch and put it on the coffee table. "Face the wall." She paused shortly until he had redirected his gaze to the corner again. "Let me know, when you're ready to talk." She heard a ruffling of clothes and a soft thud as he kicked the wall again. Maybe the scuff marks would serve to remind him to behave in the future. "Hands by your side!" she reprimanded sharply without turning around. Another huff and kick, then silence. Chloe was quite determined to sit this one out. She was at an advantage here – insofar as she was sitting down and actually had the mental growth of an adult. Lucifer on the other hand was worse than Trixie. At least her daughter understood that she'd get out of her boring position if she checked her attitude and apologised. She had to admit that she was almost curious to see how long it would take Lucifer to overcome his pride.

Three minutes. Three minutes of facing the corner again were apparently enough to have the self-proclaimed devil whining in boredom.

"Deetectiivve..."

"Yes, Lucifer," she replied working very hard to keep the amusement out of her voice.

"I'm bored," he whined loudly.

"Not my problem," she quipped. A few beats of silence followed and Lucifer risked another quick look over his shoulder. A single raised eyebrow had him snapping his head back to face the corner. If not for the suit and the dark stubble on his face, he could have seriously been mistaken for a teenager. How did someone with the emotional growth of a kindergartener get so far in life, Chloe wondered. But at least, he wasn't openly hostile anymore. A few minutes of quiet contemplation seemed to have done him at least some good.

"May I turn around now?" he finally asked in a small voice and Chloe allowed herself a very short internal celebratory dance. This was at least going way better than their conversation earlier.

"Are you ready to talk civilly now?"

"Yes."

"Then come here," she ordered and beckoned him forward. The anger in his eyes had at least diminished slightly and Chloe was fairly certain that they could have a conversation like two reasonable adults. Lucifer approached her carefully, his eyes locked onto the wooden ruler that she'd put on the coffee table. He seemed nervous. Good, Chloe thought, he should be. He stopped a few feet from the couch, his eyes darting between her face and the ruler. She regarded him closely with her 'mom-face' since Lucifer seemed to be responding to that at least better than her cop-expression. He shifted from foot to foot, not daring to venture closer.

"What..." he stopped licking his lips anxiously. "What's that for?" He made a quick gesture with his hand towards the ruler. Chloe bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from laughing.

"Make an educated guess," she retorted drily and watched in fascination as Lucifer blushed furiously. Internally Chloe heaved a sigh of relief.

"But you usually use ..." He fiddled with his belt nervously, his body language screaming INSECURITY in capital letters. She could understand his anxiety, knew it and most importantly knew how to handle it.

"I don't want to use a belt since I screwed up so tremendously earlier today," she explained. "I thought we'd try something else." He nodded in understanding, the tension around his mouth and eyes disappearing slightly. "Now, let's hear the results of your 'thinking time'," she ordered. Lucifer blushed again and clenched his jaw visibly. His gaze dropped to the floor to hide the embarrassment on his face and he pushed his hands into the pockets of his slacks again. "Oh no," Chloe said sternly. "I've seen enough of your portrayal of a sullen teenager for today. – Keep your hands by your sides and your head up or we'll have this conversation while you're bent over the couch with your pants down." Lucifer's head snapped back up, his eyes wide, clearly shocked. She pointedly looked at his hands until he let them hang loosely at his sides. Much better. "I'm waiting, Lucifer. Start at the beginning."

"My ... um... behaviour at the crime scene could have been described as ... unfitting?" he mumbled eyeing her carefully for a reaction.

"In what way?" she probed. If Lucifer planned to continue in this snail-like pace, they'd probably still be here tomorrow morning. Chloe suppressed a sigh, scouring herself for some flecks of patience that weren't already drained. She hoped desperately that her daughter wouldn't be as difficult when she reached puberty – because describing Lucifer as a fully-functioning adult right now was by all means a stretch.

"You know that!" he whined suddenly, proving just how right her train of thought was. "I refuse to recite them like some pre-schooler!"

"Fine," Chloe said. "You've had your chance." Grabbing the ruler as she stood up, she eyed him severely. "Drop your slacks and underwear and bend over." Lucifer instantly stepped back from her approaching form, his eyes going wide again.

"Detective, that's –"

"No, I'm done playing by your rules. – Get over here now," Chloe interrupted him firmly and took her stance behind the sofa.

"How is that playing by my rules?!" Lucifer asked incredulously.

"Lucifer," Chloe said menacingly. "Get over here and drop your pants – or I will do it for you." His expression turned frantic and Chloe knew she needed to act quickly to prevent him from panicking. Fortunately taking a quick step in his direction spurred him into action.

"Fine! Fine!" he consented quickly, his hands fumbling with his belt as he approached her. He let his slacks drop to his ankles before bending over the back of the couch with a sullen (no surprise there) expression on his face. Chloe snapped the ruler down sharply on his right thigh eliciting a yelp as Lucifer jumped back up to rub at the sting she'd put there. She regarded him sternly as he threw her an outraged look.

"Your briefs," she merely stated with a raised eyebrow and Lucifer blushed before turning back around and pushing his underwear down to meet his trousers and bending over the couch. Chloe steeled herself for the upcoming confrontation. She wasn't so delusional as to think that this would be an easy encounter. Lucifer had proved that he chose to act like a teenager every step of the way and she did not expect a sudden change in this behaviour. She put a hand in the small of his back and pushed his shirt tails up. "Now, what precisely was wrong with your behaviour at the crime scene today?" she asked and sensing a smart-assed reply in the making, she smacked the ruler down, covering both cheeks. Lucifer stiffened and balled his hands in reaction. Not receiving an immediate reply, Chloe smacked him again.

"I was drunk!" he answered quickly.

"What else?"

"Eating possible evidence? – Kissing the bridesmaid?"

"All correct," she praised and patted his back. "You're getting ten for that." Without waiting for a reply, Chloe brought the ruler down in quick succession as Lucifer tensed under the onslaught, but remained silent.

"Next point," Chloe stated as she had finished her round of smacks. "And just to give you an indication to the extent of your misbehaviour, there are seven more points on this list. – Not counting your overall abominable attitude throughout the whole investigation. – So, let's get a move on, shall we?"

"Seven?!" Lucifer asked incredulously, turning his head to look at her. Disbelief clearly plastered on his face.

"Yes, seven," she repeated. "I hope you're already regretting your rash decision to have this discussion in this position and not in a more pleasant setting. – Now, go on. What else was there?" Chloe had already decided on a set amount of smacks for each misstep. She only hoped Lucifer would not make this ordeal any worse for himself.

"The ex?" he asked uncertainly. "Interviewing the ex alone?"

"That's right," she replied increasing the pressure on his back slightly in preparation for the next flurry of smacks. "Anther ten for that." Again she brought the ruler down sharply not giving Lucifer any chance to process one smack before the next fell. His back stiffened and he buried his face in a throw cushion, probably biting it to suppress any sounds that might escape. Chloe knew all the tricks someone on the receiving end of a spanking tried to not let the person handing out the punishment hear how much it actually hurt. She wasn't expecting anything less from Lucifer. She'd just need to watch him more closely. Finishing this round, she patted his back again before saying, "Go on."

He took a deep breath before lifting his head of the cushion to answer, "Freddy's food truck. – I kept interrupting you."

"Correct," she said. "Which was incredibly rude and not to mention unprofessional." His head dropped back down at her words. She was finally getting through to him. "Five for that." She heard Lucifer taking a deep breath and holding it, as she brought the ruler down sharply at the top of his butt followed quickly by four more slaps, all perfectly aligned. Maybe she'd stick to the ruler from now on in case she had to discipline Lucifer again. It had a preciseness that the belt lacked. Letting out a shuddering breath after this set of smacks, Lucifer raised his head again.

"I stole," he said quietly before being prompted to do so, surprising Chloe.

"What did you steal?"

"Dou – Dan's gun and badge and the patients' files."

"Right," she replied. "Thirty for that."

"Thirty?" Lucifer asked quietly. Chloe didn't bother to answer him but simply brought the ruler down sharply in the middle of his butt, catching him off guard. This time he couldn't completely suppress the pained yelp before burying his face in the cushion again to stifle any further sounds. She peppered his backside thoroughly going from the top all the way down to include the back of his legs. His butt had taken on a pink colour that darkened with each new smack. Halfway through Lucifer started moving slightly from side to side, so she increased the pressure of her hand on his back to keep him in place. His breathing had turned irrefutably ragged although he kept his face firmly pressed into the pillow. After delivering the last smack, Chloe gave him a few seconds to collect himself before asking, "What else?"

"I punched Dan," he answered his voice muffled by the pillow since he didn't bother to lift his head anymore. She nodded to herself.

"Another fifteen for that." A very undignified whine left Lucifer upon her declaration. Chloe corrected her stance slightly insofar as she stepped closer to the sofa until her hip was touching Lucifer's. She planned to make this lesson stick permanently. She had no desire to serve as a bumper between her two colleagues because they did not even try to get along. She drew Lucifer against herself and angled her body slightly to ascertain that her intended target was in easy reach. Lucifer, noticing her change in posture, stiffened. His butt clenching involuntarily and the muscles in his back growing tense. She made sure to grip the ruler firmly and snapped it down with considerable more force than before right on the part of his butt where he would feel it the most when sitting down. A strangled yelp was Lucifer's reply to her ministrations. She focused her attention on his sit-spots and upper thighs as he writhed around. His struggle increased exponentially and the sounds of distress were growing steadily louder. Chloe decided that this would be the right time to lecture.

"Dan is your colleague. We do not punch our colleagues," she reprimanded raising her voice slightly to be heard over his grunts and groans. "I do not wish to worry about the two of you butting heads in a potentially dangerous situation. Is that clear?" She accentuated her point with another hefty smack to his sit-spots.

"Yes! – Yes! Crystal clear!" Lucifer wheezed loudly, his voice hoarse and definitely tear-filled. "I won't touch the Douche –" another smack to his sit-spots "Dan! – I won't touch Dan ever again!"

"Glad to hear that," Chloe replied finishing this set of smacks. "Two more to go." A shuddered sob escaped Lucifer at that and she stroked his back in comfort. She didn't like causing him pain. But she already butchered one attempt at disciplining him today by not giving him what he deserved. She would not make the same mistake twice. After a few moments she prompted him to go on with the list.

"Stepping in front of that sniper," he mumbled quietly.

"Yes, we'll get to that soon, but there's one more thing we have to deal with before that," Chloe said gently. Lucifer turned his head to look at her questioningly. His eyes were red-rimmed, his hair terribly dishevelled from gripping fistfuls of it to distract himself from the pain in his backside. She regarded him closely for a few moments, before helping him along, "You disobeyed me by going to the clinic to begin with." His mouth formed a silent 'oh' as he contemplated this act of disobedience. "I told you to stay home. I benched you. – With good reason. And you went anyway. – You're getting another five for that. – Then we'll talk about your suicide attempt." She drew her eyes back to his well-spanked backside and smacked him sharply. Immediately Lucifer's head dropped back down to stifle his distress in the couch cushion. These five Chloe quickly finished with before she started lecturing again without giving Lucifer a reprieve from her relentless smacking. She released a barrage of slaps onto his rapidly darkening backside, catching Lucifer completely off guard, as he struggled in earnest to get his butt out of the firing range. She held him firmly down, as he clenched and unclenched his hands and yelped his discomfort into the pillow.

"I seem to recall that we already had a very in-depth conversation about your apparent lack of self-preservation," she lectured as she slapped him.

"Yes," he hissed loudly, wriggling his butt to escape the punishing blows.

"Apparently I did not make much of an impression."

"You did!" he contradicted in a hoarse voice. "Much ... ow... impression..."

"Since you apparently have very little care for your life and overall safety yourself, let me imprint a hopefully powerful deterrent for future misconduct," she stated severely never ceasing in her slapping.

"Ow! – Det- OW- Detective! – I'm sorry!" Lucifer begged pitifully and Chloe had to steel her heart to go on. She needed to make this lesson stick. She could not back down now. Hardening her heart to his pitiful pleas, she kept on delivering a smacking that was thunderous in both velocity and intensity. As a particular vicious smack landed on Lucifer's butt, a hand shot back to shield it from further harm. Not bothering to remove it, Chloe simply focused her attention to his sit-spots and thighs since his reach didn't suffice to cover that and stated, "Move your hand." A few hefty smacks to that area yielded the desired result as Lucifer put his hand back under the cushion, stomped his foot on the ground and dissolved into miserable sobs as the last of his restraint was stripped away. Chloe's heart went out to him as she finished with a couple of half-hearted whacks before throwing the ruler onto the couch and running her hand soothingly up and down Lucifer's back. His body shook with wrecking sobs and he made no move to get up from his bent over position.

She kept up her reassuring touches for a moment before bending down and gently easing his briefs back over his thoroughly chastised backside, eliciting a fresh round of tears from Lucifer. She gently coerced him to step out of his shoes and trousers before taking his arm and pulling him up only to engulf him in a bone-crushing hug. His tears were still falling freely and his hands clutched at her shirt while he buried his face into her neck. Clinging to her as if he feared she'd leave him alone in his misery. And somehow Chloe had the inkling that albeit the spanking was harsh it couldn't be reason enough for a breakdown in these proportions. She ran one of her hands over his back while the other pressed his head more firmly into the crook of her neck and gently carded her fingers through his messy hair.

"Shush, now," she said quietly. "We're all done. You took that really well." She kept up her soft reassurances as he continued to cry into her shoulder. Deciding that they needed to get a bit more comfortable she gently steered him around the sofa. "Come on, Lucifer, lie down on your side for a bit." She pushed him gently to follow her suggestion. He drew his head back suddenly looking at her with wide eyes, gulping in air and clutching her shirt even tighter. "I'm not going anywhere," she was quick to reassure him. "Just lie down for a bit. I'll sit with you. Come on." He followed her directive until he was curled up on his side, his head nestled on a pillow in Chloe's lap, while she carded soothing fingers through his hair and down his neck as he tried to control his breathing and still his tears. And Chloe knew that if it took him all night to do so, she'd stay right here next to him. His face was firmly pressed into the pillow to hide the tears that he'd undoubtedly find embarrassing. She may not know what had happened to cause this breakdown – and maybe she never would – but she could at least offer comfort until he didn't want or need it anymore.