Thank you everyone for your well-wishes for my convention to come. I'm already barely sleeping in anticipation. I almost certainly won't reply to comments on this chapter until after the convention, but that doesn't mean I won't read them – and maybe share them with con-going friends!

As a reminder, I won't be posting next Monday, but the week after. That gives you a whole extra week to freak out or do whatever you do when I leave you hanging. When I get back, we'll begin Act 5, Donatello's adventure.

In the meantime, I hope this chapter finds you well! You all are amazing and I am continually surprised and touched by all your comments and thoughts and speculations.

Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Remember

Nobody bothered to go back to bed. The fact that all of them had begun their day in the middle of the night didn't matter.

Who could sleep?

Splinter made large mugs of tea for everyone while they sat before him in his room and he told all he knew of what had happened to Donatello in their absence. He read the letter from Professor Honeycutt twice and handed over the instructions he had taken from the wall on the operation of the lair.

And yet there were many questions he simply could not answer.

Splinter did not know when Donatello had left, or if he ever planned to come back.

He did not know what other injuries might be behind the hints in the letter, and Raphael's memory of his fight with his brother was not clear enough to do more than infuriate him and everyone else. He remembered what he had done – he did not remember if or how Donatello had been hurt otherwise.

But perhaps worst of all, Splinter did not know where to find any additional answers.

"Why don't we just go to the Battle Nexus?" Raph had asked almost at once. "That Daimyo could grab Don from wherever he is in a second!"

"I considered it myself," Splinter said. "While you slept one evening, I made an attempt to reach the Battle Nexus to consult with him. But the moment I opened the portal, I could feel the wrongness at the edge of my mind once more. I could not be certain I would remember my errand upon arrival. I fear we must wait some more before we dare leaving this dimension for another, or we may be lost once more."

"But…" Mikey began.

"No, he's right." Leo had to force the words past grit teeth. "If we forget...we might never remember. We'll just have to do what we can from here."

"Gimme that again," Raph said, reaching for the letter from the Professor. He had read it four times, but there was always the chance he would find something. He had to keep trying.

They all did.

"The letter speaks as if Donatello intended to meet our friends at some prearranged time," Splinter said after they had picked apart every word once again.

"But when? And how?" Leo asked. He scrubbed at his face. "Shell! He said something to me about Casey and April when he came to Edo...before I threw him out."

Mikey reached over and gripped Leo's shoulder to keep him from being lost in the swamping guilt that permeated the very air around all three brothers. The only reason any of them weren't groveling on the floor begging Splinter and each other for forgiveness was that they'd already done so once, and they feared if they started over, they might never be able to get up again.

"Do you remember what he said?" Raph asked.

Leo sighed. "He said something had happened, but I didn't ask what. I didn't even care."

"Our first day here, I attempted to contact them using the phones we have always shared," Splinter said. "But the connection was never made. I believe it is what we have seen when one phone is destroyed."

"They could be hurt. They could be dead!" Raph smashed his fists on the ground, his shoulders shaking. "For all we know, somethin' took 'em out...and Don too...before he even went off with that batty Professor. Or they coulda gotten turned around and ended up in the Triceraton Arena again! He...Donnie could be..." A howl bubbled up in his throat.

"Calmly, my son." Splinter held out a hand before Raphael could explode. "You must have faith in your brother and in our friends. And besides, my heart tells me that Donatello is still alive. I believe we would all know if he had been killed."

"Not dead don't mean he's okay," Raph shot back darkly.

"No, it does not." Splinter let out his own sigh. "I have attempted to reach him through meditation many times in the last several days, but never can I seem to find his spirit. It is as though he were in another world, as we were before."

"Then we gotta find April and Casey," Mikey said. "There's no way Don went anywhere without telling them about it."

Raph turned on him. "And how do we do that?"

"How do you think?" Mikey crossed his arms. "We go over to their place and we look for them. Maybe they're fine and they just got rid of the phones since we weren't here to talk to."

"Somehow, my gut says it's not that simple," Leo said. "Don wouldn't have been so frazzled if there was nothing wrong. But it's the only place we have to start."

"However, we must be cautious," Splinter warned. "From what Usagi-san told me of Donatello's condition, he suggested there had been several battles, and perhaps a fire."

"Fire!" Suddenly Raph leaped to his feet. "I'm so stupid!"

Leo and Mikey jumped to flank him, as he was clearly a half-second from storming off for a turtle tantrum of epic proportions.

"What is it?" Leo's voice was sharp.

"He...when he came to see me. I...I was ticked off at him because...he let the Purple Dragons burn down Casey and April's place."

"The Purple Dragons did what?" Mikey screeched.

Raph's eyes were dark with rage and shame. "He said...the Dragons were leanin' on 'em to find us...and he was tryin' to protect them himself...same as we did before I left. He said...the whole shop was ruined again."

"And that's why you attacked him." It wasn't a question, and the stillness in Leo's tone was judgment enough.

Raph's head hung down. "Yeah. I told 'im...it was his fault. 'Cause he doesn't kill his enemies."

Leo sucked in a breath. "He...he told me that. I didn't give it any thought at the time."

"Well, apparently none of us were thinking clearly." Mikey kicked at the floor. "It's weird remembering and not being able to understand what I was doing or why. It's weird thinking about Donnie and going that long without even seeing him."

"It's weird how much about Donatello we forgot," Leo said.

Splinter rose to face them. "And for that reason, I do not want any of you leaving the lair yet."

Three voices chorused in indignation and denial. "But Master!"

Splinter shook his head. "Two of you have changed profoundly in the last several hours, my sons, but the insidious influence of the other world may not yet be gone. I dare not send you away so quickly only for your minds to revert."

Then Splinter sighed, deep and pain-filled.

"And after so much time, a few days will make little difference to Donatello."

Raph shook for a moment before he broke away from the others. "I need some air. Just...give me some space. Okay?"

No one bothered to stop him – he couldn't yet leave the lair, and in truth, he didn't want to.

The lair was the strongest tie he had left to Donatello.

Raph considered the dojo, but then figured Leo would end up in there as soon as his feelings boiled over, too, so he instead headed for a spot he was sure nobody would search. After all, other than Don, nobody else really knew the ins and outs of the lair.

Nobody knew about Don's secondary escape-hatch hidden in the alcove next to the kitchen.

Well, that probably ain't true. Master Splinter read all those pages. It might be in there.

But I'm betting he ain't gonna try to find me here.

Raph ducked into the alcove. He reached for a brick, his mind swimming with a memory of Donatello babbling happily about how a spot like this would be perfect for a secret back way out of the lair in case of trouble, as long as it wasn't a load-bearing wall, and how he would figure that out as soon as he got some other things cleared off the list.

From that book Leo had, it looks like he did a lot more than we ever had on the list.

I guess he had to.

It was probably either work or go crazy.

Raph's fingers found the catch under one of the bricks that opened a narrow doorway in the wall – almost too small for him to fit through even turning sideways, and yet wide enough that Raph could have thrown himself through it at full speed if necessary. Once inside, the door slid shut and a light clicked on, leaving Raph in a narrow corridor that went down a few steps. But the corridor stopped a handful of yards later against a solid metal plate.

The lockdown Sensei initiated. I guess this is as far as I can go.

Raph sat heavily on the bottom step and stared at the metal sheet cutting the lair off from the outside world. After a moment, he noticed a sort of shimmer to it, as if it were wet.

Raph pushed to his feet and ran a hand along the metal panel. Up close, he could see that it had been coated in something that probably made it stronger than ever.

Strong enough to protect us.

Donnie was always strong enough to protect us.

His fingers encountered a raised feature on the wall and Raph had to squint and shift to the right angle before he could make it out.

Looks like those symbols from the lair that was connected to those ancient underground people. I wonder if Don scavenged our old home for supplies. He shouldn't have. It would have been stupidly dangerous since everybody and their brother knew about it. The Foot trashed that place and we barely got anything from it when we moved to the pump station.

But...if he was alone...and desperate...

Peering at the symbol, Raph suddenly remembered their first trip to the Underground City, back when Sidney had still been trapped in the body of Quarry and before they had learned the truth about the people who had used that series of underground tunnels and outposts, one of which had been their ill-fated second lair.

Raph remembered Donatello vanishing before their eyes, snagged by the last survivor of the underground race, or so he had claimed.

He remembered the sudden, boiling rage that had washed through him. His screams for his brother, his fury.

He remembered Leo saying in response to Michelangelo's and Quarry's fear, "We're not leaving! Whatever's haunting this place has made the mistake of snatching one of ours."

He remembered seeing the Underground City for the first time and having only one thought.

"And we'll level this whole city just to get him back!"

He had meant it with all his heart and soul then. He would have torn it apart brick by brick with his bare hands, fought a thousand rock monsters, waded into the lava itself to save Don. Why – why – hadn't he remembered? How could he have left Don alone?

How could he have deserted his brother?

Raph's fists fell upon the unmoving wall and he screamed his rage until his voice gave out and his hands were numb.

The blood he left on the wall hid the tears that dried there.

-==OOO==-

Leo watched Raph go with a heavy heart. His own chest felt like bursting.

"My son."

Leo looked fearfully up at Splinter. He could barely meet his father's eyes. The shame that burned his skin was biting into his soul and there was nothing he could do to make it right.

"Go," Splinter said. "Though peace may yet elude us all, I believe a moment seeking it may help you."

"...Father." Leo's voice stoppered closed. "I'm...I'm…"

Splinter held up a hand. "I know, my son. All that you feel, I know."

Leo decided to take the invitation to flee his Sensei's pained, sympathetic eyes before either of them broke down any farther. He gave a real bow, a proper bow as he'd been taught by Splinter, and headed out into the lair.

Leo glanced at the dojo but figured Raph might want to work off some anger, so instead he ducked through a door to a place he knew no one would dare enter.

Donatello's lab.

The fact that the lab was absolutely silent, the only noise the occasional whir of a fan circulating air, disturbed Leo. The lab was always a place of noise and motion, of chaos and answers. The physical manifestation of Donatello's active, lively mind and spirit.

But now...it felt almost dead.

Leo found himself stepping up to the nearest cabinet and opening it, as if he were looking for something.

My brother. I am looking for Donnie. And even if he isn't here, surely he left something of himself behind?

He's not...really gone, right?

Almost feverishly, Leo rifled through drawers of parts and plans, through shelves holding bottles of medicines and reference books. He touched everything he saw, as if the tactile memory would fill in the hole in his heart.

Along the back wall of the lab was a series of large cabinets labeled "Storage." But to Leo's surprise, after the first several held what he expected, the next was dated a specific range of months a few years prior.

Leonardo opened the cabinet to find nearly-identical copies of the armor the turtles had worn in the future with Cody, and the plans for the specialized weapons they had built as well.

The next held a modified version of the katana Karai had carried into battle against the Demon Shredder and a few anti-demon packs like what Doctor Chapman had used.

The third, though, caused him to step back with a gasp. For this cabinet held perfect recreations of the weapons and vests Donatello had designed to combat the creatures who had succumbed to the Outbreak Virus.

"Don," Leo whispered. He stretched out a hand, but flinched before he could touch his yellow gun and kit from those dark days.

The memory of mercilessly shooting at his own mindless, mutated brother, of making hit after hit with the tranquilizer darts, came back with screaming intensity.

Nobody had ever known that, after he had brought Donatello down and made sure he was safely installed in Bishop's containment unit, and after he had elicited a promise from every member of his family and Leatherhead not to leave Don's side, he had slipped away for a few minutes.

Long enough to find a janitor's closet and vomit into a bucket that smelled of bleach.

I shot my brother. I shot Don. The thoughts had pounded through him and had brought wave upon wave of nausea.

Theoretically, Leonardo had understood when he accepted the mantle of chunin, of Heir to the Hamato Clan, that he would bear ultimate responsibility for his brothers. That their lives would be in his hands, that he might someday be called upon to sacrifice one to save the rest of the family.

But never had he imagined he would be forced to put his own brother down like a rabid dog.

It had taken him endless minutes until he had nothing left to retch and he could stop the hot tears that streamed from his eyes – only partly from the force of his vomiting. When he had pulled himself together, still trembling at the effort to put the memory of firing on his own brother to the side so he could focus, he had wrapped himself in his dedication to fix Don, no matter the price. To get his brother back even if it cost him his life.

That dedication had carried him into Foot Headquarters. If necessary, it would have carried him to the ends of the galaxy.

Now, just as alone and once again without Donatello, Leo found himself talking to the gun which seemed to stare at him accusingly.

"I was willing to do anything...challenge Bishop in his own base, take on Karai and the entire Foot Clan...to save Don. And he would have done the same for me. I never doubted that. How...how could I have forgotten?"

A round of nausea gathered in his stomach, not from the old memory, but new pain.

"I...I let Mikey walk away from his family. I wasn't there to protect Raph in battle. I...I dishonored Master Splinter. And I...I pushed Don away. How could I...how could I have done that?"

It was like another nightmare, just as it had been when Don had been transformed. It couldn't be real, could it? It couldn't have happened.

He glanced around the lab he had never seen, shining and pristine and cold. Empty.

It did happen. And Donatello is gone.

Leo just made it to the corner where he could see a bucket sitting beside a spongy mop. Once again, he found himself vomiting into the scent of bleach over his own failure and Donatello's suffering.

What have I done? I sent Don away. I broke our family.

If Donatello is hurt, or worse, it's all my fault.

-==OOO==-

Michelangelo waited until his other brothers were both out of range, Raph heading who-only-knew-where and Leo striding for, of all weird things, Don's lab.

Alone with their father, Mikey looked at Splinter and was almost afraid to ask, but asked anyway, "Do you think...I mean...is everything going to be okay ever again?"

Michelangelo watched Splinter reach down into himself and dredge up some courage for him – he saw the transformation in his Sensei's eyes of despair to an indulgent hope. And he wasn't sure if it comforted him, that his father could still be so brave for him when he was scared, or if he felt worse for dragging another burden into his father's broken heart.

"I believe...things will change, my son. After so much, it seems inevitable that we will never be precisely as we were before. But there is no reason to fear that our future will not still find us all together as a family in the end." Then the hope dimmed. "It may not be easy, however."

Mikey nodded. Then he returned to his knees.

Splinter's eyebrows went up. "Michelangelo?"

"I...I need to apologize."

"You have already done so, my son, extensively. I have already forgiven you."

"No, not that. Not because of all the stuff that happened after we got all warped and weird." Michelangelo dropped his head. "Sensei, I...I'm sorry. I didn't stay and take care of you when you were sick. I...I knew Raph wouldn't and I guessed Leo would be too busy and I...left you. And it wasn't because the dimension was messing with us because I did it right away and..."

Splinter reached down to put a paw on his son's shoulder and waited until Michelangelo raised his eyes. "I still forgive you, my son. We were all lost in the pressures of that other world from the very beginning."

"If by 'lost' you mean 'totally forgot everything important over some girl,' then yeah, but…" He gulped. "Leo told Donnie to go away and Raph beat the snot out of him. I was the only one who completely forgot about him and everything else. I even had these dreams but I didn't...I mean..."

"Do not believe this is any reflection of your true feelings, Michelangelo. An illness may take different forms in its victims. What manifested in you towards Donatello was neither the contempt of Leonardo or the rage of Raphael."

"Yeah, but...if you look at it, we all kinda went to our worst sides, right? Leo went from a little stuck-up on a bad day to genuinely out-of-his-shell with judginess. And Raph's always been a rage monster one way or another; this just made him worse. And I'm...I'm just a screw up, aren't I? Blowing off everything until the last minute even when it does matter."

Splinter lowered himself to the ground so he could face Michelangelo evenly. "While there is some merit to your observation, I believe you may have missed an aspect of it."

"Huh?"

"Both Leonardo and Raphael are of the sort of disposition which points out error in others, yes? Whose instinct is to challenge the people in their lives, generally in the attempt to help one reach their true potential?"

"Uh, duh. Since they've been doing it to me since we hatched I'm kinda familiar with it."

"But this is not your way, my son. You do not attempt to be anyone but who you are, nor do you ask it of others. While Leonardo drives himself to be a perfect leader and the rest of you to be an exceptional team, you are content. Where Raphael taunts and criticizes others and himself for not living up to his standards, you simply make a joke to dissolve any tension."

Mikey shrugged.

"It is a virtue to try to reach one's true potential, or to help others find their own, but it is also a virtue to accept one's limitations and instead focus on preserving the peace of the moment instead of the victory of the future. It is a role you fill instinctively amongst your brothers. And I believe it was this, and not indifference, that dictated your own failings in Usagi's world."

"So...because I'm usually cool about people doing their own thing, I just got really, really good at it?"

"Something like that." Splinter smiled as the lines of extreme guilt began to clear from his son's expression. "Of your brothers, only you did not cease to respect Donatello for not being like the rest of you. I would not call that being a 'screw up' as you say. It is admirable, and I imagine both your brothers would trade much for forgetfulness to be the worst of their mistakes right now."

Mikey let out a breath. "You're probably right about that." He fidgeted with his fingers. "Even when we do find Donnie, it's gonna take even longer for Raph and Leo to forgive themselves."

"I think so, too, my son. Which is why we must help them as much as we can."

Mikey nodded. "Okay, Sensei."

He moved to rise but Splinter held up a hand. "That said, when your own feelings become too great, do not try to bear them alone. That your burden is different may not always make it lighter."

Mikey's chest still felt hollow and cold, so he didn't bother to argue. He just nodded. Then he pushed to his feet.

"I'm gonna go figure out what supplies we have. Maybe I'll start breakfast or something. Lunch. Brunch. Whatever it is."

"A good thought, my son. Thank you."

Mikey wandered from Splinter's room out to the kitchen. He could hear the faintest sound of Raph being Raph and probably bruising his hands again somewhere, but he let it go. There were only two ways to deal with Raph in a snit if you were Michelangelo: hide or evade.

Raph can talk to Don sometimes. And Leo sometimes. Or Casey.

Only one out of three are even here, and Leo's not in any shape to deal, either.

Don, wherever you are, we need you back for so many reasons right now, bro.

But...if we hadn't made you go away...we wouldn't need you to come back.

Tears gathered and Mikey pushed them back as he focused instead on his self-appointed task.

Now that his head was clear of the weird delusions from the other world, he noticed things he'd simply ignored for the past three weeks. The kitchen was beautifully appointed, right out of a magazine almost (if that magazine catered to mutants whose hands were larger than a human's, which made everything from standard scissors to tiny cabinet-door handles impractical). Now that he was looking, Mikey couldn't help but wonder about the appropriately-sized doorknobs on every cabinet in the lair – could Don have hand-carved them?

Of course he did. It's Don.

Mikey could almost picture his brother sitting at the kitchen table, patiently whittling away at blocks of wood probably with a complete mathematical formula to tell him how to size them.

I bet if I went up to get Don's notebook, I would find his schematics. Don never does anything halfway if he can help it.

But it wasn't just the array of cabinets and counterspace, or the pristine appliances that Mikey noticed. It was a pad of paper stuck to the fridge and covered with Don's messy handwriting.

Supplies and Expiration Dates.

Mikey had only glanced at it previous times in the kitchen, but now he looked at it more intently. It was a list, he realized, of every single foodstuff item in the lair, down to the box of salt and the carton of vinegar. Every item was listed along with its quantity and its expected expiration date, with notes when Don's estimate was different from what was written on the package.

This can't be for him. Don would know all this stuff off the top of his head if he spent this much time setting it all up. Did he think Usagi would come by to make himself pancakes or something? Casey and April?

He flipped through the pages, reading the extensive inventory of food and food-adjacent supplies that was stored throughout the lair.

Who knew we even had a pantry? Wow. Make that a really super extra overstocked pantry. And that's smart – putting emergency rations in a bunch of places just in case we had to grab our Go Bags or if we got flooded or if we were cornered in the med bay or something. But there's enough dry and frozen stuff just in here to last us for months without going topside.

Did he really think he'd need this much?

And then it hit him.

He left it for us. Just in case we ever came back, or if we needed it. Even if it was years later.

Something about that gesture, the desperate hopefulness of it against its bleak unlikeliness, tore the remaining heartstrings that hadn't frayed with Mikey's reading of Don's notebook.

Michelangelo leaned his head against the smooth, cool door of the refrigerator and wished it would swallow him.

He thought about us every day. Every minute. He did all of this – everything – for us. After being ignored and hurt and thrown away like trash.

And now he's gone. And I'm going to think about him every minute, too. But it's too late now.

Tears began to fall. This time Mikey let them go, but he angled them away from the precious stack of paper on the fridge below him.

We did this. And if we ever get the chance, we'll...I'll find some way to make it up to you, Donnie. I promise. I swear.

I'm sorry, Donnie. Please come back so I can tell you.

-==OOO==-

The next painful days were strange and silent throughout the lair. Once the three turtles regathered after Michelangelo made pancakes that smelled wonderful but tasted like sand in their mouths, they made a silent agreement to go forward as best they could.

No one mentioned Raph's cut and bleeding knuckles even when Master Splinter wordlessly took him aside to bandage them, either that day or the next few as they inexplicably became injured again and again.

No one reminded Leo that he didn't actually have to spend hours alone in the dojo after Splinter finished their formal practice, and no one intruded on his solitude when he closed the door behind him, no matter what they heard from within.

No one complained at Mikey for cooking meals to feed five and wasting food, and no one stopped him from wrapping up leftovers and piling them in the fridge as if saving them for someone.

Master Splinter eased their training and permitted Leonardo to go back to his own room to sleep, but he kept a sharp eye on them nonetheless. No one begrudged him, and the three turtles watched each other for signs of 'relapse' as well. But they seemed to have turned a corner in that one terrible night. If anything, their groundedness in their own dimension increased rather than faltering.

They started watching the news again, reacquainting themselves with their own world. Mikey found a small handful of comic books that hadn't been ported to Usagi's world – and realized with a pang that Don had gathered them for him – and rediscovered his love of drawing. Raph pulled his motorcycle, previously untouched in the center of his room, down to the workshop adjacent to Don's lab and started tweaking it. Leo started reading his books again on logic and tactics – though he could not read those of Sun Tzu or other authors who reminded him too strongly of the world that had almost absorbed him – and took to sitting in the middle of the lair where he could always see everyone.

And yet, the atmosphere was as fragile as the first ice on a pond, broken regularly when someone would suddenly remember and would react either with sorrow or fury. When that happened, hugs or sparring were offered in about equal measure. And always Splinter was there to speak to his sons, to guide them in their grief.

But he could only do so much. The grief was as real as the emptiness where Donatello should have been.

Three weeks and five days from their return to the lair, a magical doorway opened.

Three turtles and one rat moved at pure ninja speed to face it. As they reached it, however, Leo held out his arms to block his brothers.

"Wait! Don't you feel it?"

And they did. Like a subsonic vibration, there was something that made them dizzy, lightheaded, almost feverish in proximity to the dimensional magic.

A wooden box emerged first, followed by a pair of white hands.

"Usagi!" Leo called.

The box was dropped and Raph quickly pulled it away as another took its place. As Usagi handed box after box through the doorway, the turtles filed themselves into a quick bucket-brigade to receive them and get them out of the way. But they were careful to keep their distance from the portal, and without even asking they swapped places every few boxes so nobody stayed too close to it for long.

"Shell. Did we really move this much stuff?" Raph whispered as he watched the pile of boxes grow.

"Most of it's mine," Mikey said sadly, handing over another plastic bin of comics.

"Only because you have the most stuff," Leo said, trying for unaffected. "Proportionally, we all pretty much moved out."

"Well now we're movin' back in and we ain't leavin' again!" Raph threw the next box with unnecessary force and almost toppled the whole pile.

Several minutes later and a small mountain of things transferred, Usagi stepped through the doorway with something in his arms.

"Klunk!" Mikey dove for his kitten who leaped from Usagi – though that might have been less kitty-joy and more attempting to get away from the samurai's iron grip.

"He is unharmed, Michelangelo-san," Usagi said. "Mitsu-san cared for him well, and her brother after her. She has also sent a letter." He gestured to the pack on his back. "As did many others."

Usagi looked around the family before him, his eyes landing on Splinter. "Greetings. It seems that time has done its work on behalf of your family, Master Splinter."

Splinter bowed. "It has. My sons have begun to truly return to themselves once more."

"That is excellent," Usagi said. "It relieves me greatly to hear it."

He bowed to the others. "I hope you will forgive me for helping to engineer your removal from my world, but I believe now you may see the reason why it was so necessary."

Leo and Raph returned the bow; Mikey was too busy cuddling his kitten and crooning to him.

"I...I owe you a huge apology, Usagi," Leonardo said, still bowing. "I...the way I acted…"

"It is nothing, my friend." Usagi actually smiled as Leo rose. "Our scales are balanced now that you are well again and truly the friend I have known."

Usagi pulled the pack on his back to the floor and opened it. "I have brought several messages from your other friends."

He pulled out a variety of items, from fine paper scrolls to squares of rough rice-paper and even a few pieces of coarse cloth with writing on them. He made four piles, though for Splinter there was only a single scroll of the finest paper and one of more moderate material. Leonardo had several messages, all on expensive paper, where Raph and Mikey had a mix of the commoners' materials. Raph's pile was by far the largest.

Raph looked at the set of correspondence, all from his band of warriors, and his face twisted in disgust. "I'm gonna read those later. Maybe."

Mikey glanced at his, mostly from the villagers he had known, and shuddered. The only one he picked up was the one printed with Mitsu's tiny handwriting.

"Mikey," Leo said, "are you sure you're ready for that?"

Michelangelo took a breath and closed his eyes. Then he opened it and nodded.

"Trust me, bro. Nothing she can say is worse than being here without Don."

He started to read while Usagi looked to the others. "Then you have not yet found him?"

"We don't even know where to start looking," Leo admitted with real bitterness. "We can't seem to reach April or Casey, and there's just...there's nothing here."

Usagi's face fell. "I am sorry, Leonardo-san. I had hoped for more."

"As did I," Splinter said. "However, we have our minds returned to us, and that is a great advantage. My son is alive and he is somewhere. There is nowhere we cannot find him."

"But we don't even know where to start looking!" Raph kicked the nearest box with all his strength, sending it skittering across the floor. "The Professor said he was takin' Don to the Utrom Homeworld. How the shell are we supposed to find him there?"

"Even I do not know, Raphael. But we will find a way. You must have faith, my son."

Raph grunted and headed for the nearest punching bag.

Usagi turned back. "I wish there were more I could do for you, my friends."

"It's not your fault, Usagi. You've done more than we could have asked," Leo told him. "This is our mess. We're the ones who have to fix it."

"Come, Usagi. Let us offer you come tea." Splinter led the ronin towards the kitchen.

Leo leaned over Mikey's shoulder. "You sure you're okay?"

Mikey looked up and smiled. It didn't quite reach his eyes, but it wasn't wracked with pain, either. "Yeah. Mitsu's really happy now. She said she didn't have the heart to tell me that she was engaged and she's sorry because didn't want to hurt my feelings. But...I think I was the first friend she ever had who didn't treat her like she was a different kind of person just for being a girl. She seems to have more confidence than when I first met her. So that's good."

"That's very good, Mikey. I'm proud of you."

Raph wandered back over. "At least one good thing came outta being there."

"Yeah. Plus," and Mikey's smile shaded closer towards genuine, "can you imagine how hard finding Donnie would be if I had actually, like, married her? Talk about awkward! 'Sorry, Mitsu, I gotta leave you and go into outer space in another dimension. Good luck with the harvest!' Not exactly smooth."

"I think...I learned something similar," Leo said after a moment.

Raph nudged him. "Besides the obvious?"

The 'obvious' fact of Donatello's importance – of the entire family's importance – didn't need to be stated, so Leo just nodded.

"Yeah. I learned that it's really easy for me to get sucked in by the wrong thing. And look what happened. Oroku Saki almost got me, too, in the beginning. That it's easy for me to lose focus and get my priorities wrong. But I think...I'm not very likely to forget that I have to put our family first again. No matter what."

Raph nodded and made a half-smile. "Yeah. I don't think I'll ever forget it either. Ain't nothin' bigger than bein' brothers." He leaned down to poke Mikey in the head. "Not even girls."

Mikey grinned at him. "Yeah, I got that. Turtle shells before mademoiselles!" he cheered.

Raph raised an eye-ridge. "How long you been holdin' onto that one?"

Mikey shrugged. "About ten minutes."

"Doofus." Raph scruffed his head fondly.

-==OOO==-

Usagi stayed long enough to speak privately with Splinter for several minutes and to assure himself that all four of his friends were back to themselves, at least mostly. He could see the pain and worry that ran deep in them all, but that much was to be expected.

As he opened the doorway to return to his own world, he turned back to them.

"Please inform me when Donatello is returned to you. I have my own apologies to make to him. I only hope that he will be willing to hear them when the time comes."

Usagi's words stayed with Splinter into the evening. While his sons hauled boxes and unpacked with heavy hearts – and Raphael read all his letters and then burned them in the workshop while Leonardo and Michelangelo both tucked theirs away for safe-keeping – Splinter reflected upon something he had only barely dared consider.

It is possible that the damage we have caused may be more severe than I realized.

Our crimes against Donatello we now know to be the result of the effect of Usagi's world upon our minds. But if Donatello does not have such context for understanding…

...or if even that is not enough to excuse us…

...is it imaginable that Donatello might still not forgive us.

No, I choose to believe he will. Donatello's heart is kind and generous. No matter our dishonorable treatment of him, I believe he would eventually offer forgiveness and absolve us of our cruelty.

But that does not necessarily mean he would ever return to us.

Usagi-san's doubt is valid. One may forgive a scorpion for stinging, but that does not mean one will invite the scorpion into one's pocket.

I am not sure I have encountered many souls who would willingly return to us after such treatment were they in Donatello's position.

And I do not know what he would choose.

Would he forgive us but uphold his own banishment voluntarily?

Would he remain wherever he is now with the friends who did not desert him?

Would he abandon us as we abandoned him?

A chill ran through Splinter's heart.

Even I could not blame him if that is his choice.

But I pray that it is not. For without Donatello, I fear that none of our hearts will ever truly heal.

-==OOO==-

Two days after Usagi's departure, Splinter spoke up after breakfast.

"I believe that all of us have finished overcoming the influence of the other dimension so long as we remain anchored here in this world. If you are ready to trust one another, I am prepared to release our home from lockdown that you might venture out once more."

Leo and Raph and Mikey exchanged identical glances. On the one hand, they were feeling pretty cooped-up in the lair without any ability to go topside or even out into the sewers – and they had to be pretty close to cabin fever to think the sewers were an improvement. But on the other hand, leaving now, one turtle short, it felt awful.

It felt like another abandonment all over again.

Before anyone could respond, there came a chirping noise from Don's lab.

The four seated around the table froze long enough to identify the sound in the silent lair before they bolted from the table and surged into the lab at top speed.

Leo had spent the most time in the lab by far, never telling anyone why, and he quickly traced the noise to the top drawer of Donatello's main computer desk. It was the one area he had not quite yet gathered the courage to explore in its entirety.

Leo froze with his hand above the drawer's handle, looking back to his family.

Raph growled. "Hurry up!"

Leo drew open the drawer and pulled out four brand new Shell Cells, smartphones rather than cell phones now.

One of them was ringing.

Leo's heart invaded his throat but he pushed the blinking button and held it – Donatello's universal switch to put a call on speaker-phone.

"Hello? Don?"

"April!" the three turtles yelled all at once.

"Leo? Raph? Mikey?" April's voice went breathless. "You're there? All of you?"

"We're here, April," Leo said. "We...we came home."

There was a long pause.

Then April started to cry.

Splinter snatched the phone from Leo's suddenly numb grip.

"Miss O'Neil, please allow me to apologize to you and to Mister Jones. Our behavior has been reprehensible and I am certain we have caused you no end of pain."

April sucked in a sharp breath. "Master Splinter, you have no idea. It was...like losing my parents all over again. And Donnie...even with everything with Casey's mom…"

"Where are you guys? What happened?" Raph asked, leaning in and shoving Mikey away. Mikey crawled under the desk from the far side to pop up where he could hear clearly, too.

"Don didn't tell you? Of course – he couldn't." Her voice went cold. "You weren't listening."

It was Mikey who found words in the stricken silence that followed.

"You're right, April. We weren't. And there's a really long explanation, but...well, tell us yours first, okay? Please? We've been, like, super worried."

April made a sound between a sniffle and a laugh.

"What do you want to hear about? What happened with Casey and me or what happened with Don?"

Leo took the phone back, his voice intent and focused.

"All of it. Everything. Anything that will help us get Don back."

"Are you really sure you want to know? It might...be painful to hear some of it."

Leo looked up and cast his eyes around the circle.

Splinter nodded, clearly braced for the worst and unafraid to continue.

Mikey gulped, but then gave Leo a slightly-shaky thumbs-up.

Raph's own eyes were burning with suppressed emotion, mixed rage and fear and sorrow, everything Leo himself was feeling with nothing holding it back.

Raph wordlessly reached out and gripped Leo's shoulder, anchoring them both. Then he stretched to hold onto Mikey's wrist as well.

Leo took a deep breath.

"Tell us, April. Please. We need to know."

He swallowed and when he spoke again, his voice rang with conviction, with a soul-deep vow that he would keep to the death if necessary.

"We're going to find Donnie and we're going to be a family again. No matter what."

-==OOO==-

End of Act 4

-==OOO==-