It occurred to me just as I was chewing my third mouthful of a particularly delicious spaghetti bolognaise that Dimitri had made for dinner: I do not know how to cook.

I don't know why it's only come to me just now, but for some reason, the thought stops me in my tracks. My next forkful pauses en route, just hanging ridiculously in mid-air before my mouth.

It's not as though this was something that I didn't already know, but honestly, something about this last week has me unsettled. The problem is that everything is normal. It's almost dreamlike, living with Dimitri, being allowed to touch him and smile at him and openly show affection. The truth is, being so happy with no immediate danger or threat on the horizon also means that there are no distractions. If I was in a movie, this would be the part where I'd note that things are quiet.

Too quiet.

Of course, Dimitri notices.

"I don't think it's that good, but I do appreciate the compliment."

I just sit there, thinking. By rights, there should be steam coming out of my ears from the rate at which my internal gears are turning.

"I don't know how to cook."

He looks up from his bowl, mouth already full once more. "Hmmm?"

My fork clanks against the side of my bowl as I set it down.

"I don't know how to cook," I repeat.

"And?"

"And you can."

There's a brief silence, whereby Dimitri takes the opportunity to look completely baffled. I can't really say I blame him.

"Is…that a problem?" The poor man sounds very confused.

I shake my head, more to clear my thoughts than to indicate a response in the negative, but at the sight of his expression, I decide to go with it, and I pull a smile onto my face.

"Not at all."

We carry on eating.

But this knowledge has started me thinking, and now I can't seem to stop. There's always been some pressing matter that I had to keep my attention on, something distracting me from thinking about the logistics of this whole situation. I love Dimitri. He loves me. That's as much as I could afford to think things through before my thoughts were called away to something more urgent. But now, in this silence and peace, I finally have the opportunity to mull everything over.

Dimitri knows how to cook, this shouldn't surprise me. He's accomplished at many things; hotwiring cars, speaking a different language, killing Strigoi…sex. He knows how to do so many things that I don't, but thinking about it draws my attention to the gap between us for the first time. Obviously I've always known about the age gap, but I've never actually thought that it could make a difference.

He knows these things because he's incredible, and he's had the time to learn them. He has lived on his own. He has lived, full stop. And I…haven't, yet.

All my life, I've lived with other people. I grew up at the Academy, I stayed in a dormitory with the other Dhamphirs. When I ran away with Lissa, we shared a room surrounded by other humans. And now I'm at court and I'm living with Dimitri, and I've never had to cook or clean or look after myself in any way.

Come to think of it, Dimitri might even have lived with a woman before. As much as I hate to think of it, he and Tasha have been close for a long time. In spite of his steadfast sense of duty, nobody can deny how attractive he is. He must have had girlfriends in the past, girlfriends closer to his own age with shared experiences that didn't include being taught to kill. He's the only person I've slept with, but I know that he has gathered his experience elsewhere.

It's not that it bothers me, not really, but the thought is still there, weighing heavier than expected.

What was it that he'd said to me, that first year in the Academy?

"We're in two very different places. I've been out in the world. I've been on my own. And you…you're just starting out. Your life is about homework and clothes and dances…"

Of course, I didn't listen. I didn't think it mattered, at the time, and I was hurt that he'd even say that. Now I'm starting to think that the fact that we love each other is not the be all and end all. He wasn't wrong. Other issues do come into play, like the fact that we're both Dhamphirs. I've never really given a crap what people think of me, and I've never been one to play by the rules, but the fact is that our relationship is taboo. And though we may not care, it's bound to put pressure on our relationship from outside. Which means we have to be that much stronger.

I mean, look at my own track record: a string of meaningless flings with guys that I didn't really care about, whatever that was with Mason before…he died. The thought saddens me, and I spare a moment to think about him. I put him through so much. I really do miss him. Absently, I reach my hand behind my head to stroke those first two molnija marks that are all I have left of him.

And then there's Adrian. Poor, poor Adrian. My first proper relationship and I cheated on him. Time and time again, I've berated myself for how things ended. He did not deserve that, and worse, I dragged Dimitri into it. But it just goes to show that, historically, things are not looking good for me. How can I sustain this relationship when things have always ended so badly? What if I end up hurting Dimitri?

Because while we may not be an ordinary couple, we still need to have ordinary aspects to our relationship. I've seen him as so many different things; he's played so many different parts in my life. My teacher, my mentor, my lover, my greatest sorrow. He was basically evil incarnate at one point. I always say that he's a badass Russian god. Is that healthy? He's only human—well, half human—and if I have these ridiculous expectations of him, amazing though he is, he cannot meet all of them.

I'm really starting to freak myself out at this point. What if everything we've worked so hard for ends up hurting both of us? What if I lose him? What happens on that inevitable day that he fails to live up to the god status that I've elevated him to? What if my inexperience drives him away? Is it better just to cut our losses right now? I don't want to do that, but what if it really is better in the long run?

Desperately, I cast my mind back for one normal couple fight, one thing that he does that irritates me, one petty tiff that can provide me with the knowledge that we can be normal. But I come up blank.

Dimitri's voice cuts into my thoughts. "Sorry to drag you back from wherever you are in there, but could I have some help with the dishes, for once?"

I look up at him, startled. "What?"

He lets out an irritated sigh. "Come on, Rose. I can't be the only one who cleans."

A grin spreads across my face.

"Rose," he groans, striding forward and pulling me out of my chair, "I'm not going to let you get out of this. We're in this together, you have to help me."

As he propels me towards the kitchen with the sink full of dishes, I begin to laugh. Unable to help myself, I twist around in his grip and wrap my arms around his waist, squeezing much harder than necessary.

"You aren't going to distract me either," he mutters, but he hugs me back all the same.

"Thank you," I whisper into the familiar leather of his duster.

"What for?"

I grin. "Nothing."

I break our embrace, and turn to the sink, starting to fill it with hot water. A glance over my shoulder shows that Dimitri is still standing where I left him, looking perplexed, as he tries to figure out what the hell just happened.

"I'll wash and you can dry," I say with a smile, and pick up the first plate.

He joins me after a moment, and grabs a dishtowel, muttering in Russian.

The smile does not leave my face the whole time we work, and we fall into a rhythm of sorts. The silence is comfortable this time, apart from the gentle sound of the water and my scrubbing brush on the porcelain.

You see, there's one thing I forgot amidst all of my thinking: I am not in this alone, and together, history has proven that Dimitri and I make a pretty kickass team.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! If you did-or didn't- and wish to tell me why, please leave a review. This fic is also un-Beta'd, so if there are any mistakes, please let me know. It's always wonderful to hear what you have to say, and I promise that I read every review, even if I'm not so great at responding. I do tend to post these oneshots from time to time, so if you enjoy them and you'd like to keep updated, please feel free to follow and favourite.

I don't know if it's just a me thing, but I have a tendency to overthink everything. Anything that happens, and especially if it has anything to do with matters of the heart, I will sit there in my own head for hours afterward, analysing it from every conceivable angle until I've convinced myself that the situation was entirely different to how it actually was. Not that I'm anything like Rose, but it is a pretty complicated situation when you think about it. I've basically just unloaded all of my thoughts about Rose and Dimitri's relationship and added a happy ending.

The VA universe and the characters therein are the sole intellectual property of Richelle Mead.