Title: A Day in The Life

Summary: AU. Challenge by Icedragon3643: Write a fic that includes the fitness gram pacer test, a cat named Waffles, and a Twinkie.

Disclaimer: I do not own OITNB or any of its characters. They belong to Jenji Kohen, I do, however, own my writing so please don't steal- Johanna002©

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A/N: Use your imagination. This one was fun!

"I got it, I got it," Gloria gritted between clenched teeth. She rolled her eyes at the sullen look Red was throwing in her direction. She moved away from the counter, angrily yanking the ringing phone from the wall. "Yes, hello," she grunted.

Handing the change to the customer infront of her, Red turned to her counterpart slowly. Her blazing blue eyes saying it all, that is not how we answer the phone! She fumed as Gloria waved her away, turning her body and covering her free ear with her hand.

If Red didn't know any better she'd assume the woman was just being childish. Turning back to her patron, Red forced a smile to her lips. "Thank you, Ms. Rosa," she said sincerely. "You have a good day."

The Hispanic woman smiled in return, holding her coffee and Russian pastry up in gratitude. "You too, see you tomorrow." she turned and quickly made her way out of the store.

Red looked around the small space proudly. It wasn't much but she was happy. She had so many plans for her space- so many dreams. The store next door to her own had recently gone out of business and she was hoping to make an offer on it and expand.

Business was booming and she was feeling inspired. She had never before been in such a stable place and she owed a lot of that to the woman standing behind her. Gloria had been a beacon of hope, something Red had initially overlooked- under the rugged, Bronx aura and street Spanish accent, lay a true mastermind.

Red had taken a real chance in hiring her, something she wouldn't have done if she hadn't been desperate. After her divorce from Dmitri had been finalized, she'd been left with limited options. She had been worried about how she was supposed to juggle being a single mother and running a business. She had never been on her own before, but a heady alimony and child support check had quickly put her mind at ease. If she'd known her ex would be more help financially than he ever was in the course of their thirteen years together, she would have filed for divorce years ago.

"Yo, daydreamer," Gloria called to her unaffectionately. "It's your demon."

Shaking her head Red turned to acknowledge her. "My child," she corrected. "Demon. Gloria, really?" she questioned with a roll of her eyes. "Hello," she said calmly into the phone, swatting at the woman in annoyance, shooing her away and gesturing for her to make herself useful. "Nicky?"

"Ma!" The ten-year-old's voice was music to her mother's ears. "Mama, are you busy?"

Red smiled, "well kind of, sweetheart. I am at work." she frowned, glancing at the time. "You're supposed to be in class, Nicky. Not on the cell phone. Where are you?"

"I am at school," Nicky promised.

Red cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder, crossing her arms over her chest. "So?" she prompted. "You didn't, or shouldn't, be calling to just listen to me breathe. Are you in trouble again?"

Gloria laughed, lazily spraying down the counter.

"Ma, no," Nicky whined into the receiver. "I forgot my gym clothes."

Rolling her eyes, Red pulled the phone away from her ear and beat it gently against her forehead. Oh, Nicky, she sighed. This was most definitely her father's gene. Putting the phone back to her ear, Red calmly confronted her. "You forgot? Nicky, I asked you this morning if you had everything, didn't I?"

"Yes."

"So?" Red exclaimed dramatically, throwing her hand up in the air in frustration. "Why had you told me you had your stuff? Did you not realize?" surely her darling girl had a reason- a logical explanation- for not having her things together.

In true Nicky fashion, her girl was blunt. "I didn't want to go to gym. Out of sight, out of mind. Cardinope, mom."

Cardinope. Red shook her head, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips naturally. "Did you need me to bring you clothes, Nicky?"

"Please," her girl asked sweetly. "You would be the mother ever."

"Not like you have many choices, Nicky!" she laughed. "I'm the only mother you have."

"Well, Gloria could be a close second but she's always so angry…"

Red shook her head, "I'll be sure to pass along your sentiments." she glanced at her watch once more. "I'll be there soon, you're lucky Gloria came in early this morning. You'd be out of luck otherwise."

"Why don't you and Gloria ditch work and come bail me out of here?" Nicky asked hopeful. "No one needs to go to your store. They need to go to work."

Resisting the urge to point out that Red needed these patrons to make her own living, she simply shut the girl's incredibly tempting offer down. "When is gym class, Nicky? I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll drop them off at the front desk, okay?"

"It's in like an hour."

"Okay," Red nodded. "I love you. I'll be there shortly." Her heart swelled as her young one practically sang her love back. Hanging up she began to remove her apron, ignoring Gloria's playful glare. "I'll be back," she promised.

"Last time you said that I ran this place all by myself." Gloria waved her away. "If you do ever make it back bring me some breakfast."

"We have breakfast here!"

Gloria turned her nose, enjoying the questioning look she received in return. "It's the least you could do," she tried.

Red swung her purse over her arm and waved over her shoulder. "Do something useful would you. Clean, organize, make a new dish. I don't pay you to mouth off."

...

Hanging up her cell and stuffing it into her blazer pocket, Nicky looked to her very tall friend.

Alex stared at her curiously, leaning against the tiled bathroom wall. "Well," she inquired, arms over her chest. "Is she gonna bring them?"

Frowning, Nicky nodded.

"You should have just left them. Mr. Healey can't make you do the pacer test if you can't change out." Alex said wisely. "I forgot my clothes last week and didn't have to run."

Nicky scoffed, "Oh sure." She gestured with a nod of her head for Alex to follow her and the two girls exited the bathroom, slowly making their way back to class.

"If I don't change out then I'll fail. I already have a C in math, if I don't pass gym- the easiest class in the world- my mother will cut me up into small pieces and serve me in her pirozhki. You ever wonder what that meat was really made out of?" Nicky squinted at her friend, her voice dropping into a whisper, "human bodies, Vause."

"Nicky I really don't think-"

"No," Nicky cut her off quickly. "I'm serious."

Alex bumped into her affectionately. She smiled down, soft laughter vibrating through her chest at the worried expression on her friends face. Ms. Reznikov was many things, but she hardly believed the tale Nicky shared with her.

"Where do you come up with these things?" Alex asked as they approached their classroom.

"You've met my mom," defended Nicky. "The woman is a few tea bags shy a full pot."

"I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree." Alex pulled the door open and gestured for her friend to enter.

"Hello, ladies," Sister Ingalls greet them, her tone elevated slightly in annoyance. "So, nice for you both to finally join us." she gestured to the two empty seats and waited until both girls had opened up their bibles before turning to face the whiteboard.

…

Climbing the steps of her child's private school, Red admired the large wooden doors in awe. She had been skeptical about enrolling Nicky at first. They didn't exclusively claim to be any specific religion, and still, Red wasn't entirely convinced that any one deity existed.

However, as she entered the building, she couldn't deny that the school had been good for Nicky. It had given her girl perspective and most of all discipline.

Her marriage hadn't been the healthiest one, and Nicky had suffered terribly at her hands. All the fighting and anger that had transpired in their home hadn't gone unnoticed and as a result, Nicky had begun to channel her emotions into destructive patterns.

Catholic school had given her something else to focus on. While religion may not be something they practiced exclusively, it was a gifted opportunity for them to safely question the current path of their life.

Red entered the office, black gym bag slung over her arm. She smiled at the young woman behind the counter and nodded her head in understanding as Ms. Jefferson held a hand up in a silent plea to be patient.

"Thank you," Ms. Jefferson said into the receiver. "Yes, I'll contact the Sister and let her know that Miss Chapman is supposed to go straight home after school." she nodded along to her conversation, "Right. Yes, Mrs. Chapman, you have a great day as well. God bless."

Hanging up the phone Taystee smiled at the Russian woman. "Ms. Reznikov," she greeted. "It's been awhile, how are you?"

Red held up the gym bag as a way of explanation, "I just stopped by to drop this off for Nicky."

"Yes, of course." She accepted the bag without question. "How are you doing?" Taystee asked curiously. "I haven't seen you around lately, not since the incident-"

At this, Red frowned and she couldn't help but roll her eyes in exhaustion. "Please, don't remind me," she begged.

"Well," Taystee chuckled as she punched in the extension to Nicky's home room. "Kind of hard to forget Miss Nicky. We've never had a student tell a nun to kiss their ass before."

Of the many strict and serious bodies who walked the halls of Divinity, Taystee Jefferson was not one of them. She smirked at the look of bewilderment that crossed the woman's face.

"Sister," she said calmly into the phone. "Will you send Miss Nichols down to the front office, please? Thank you." Red listened to her hang up and remained rooted in place. "You can go. I'll make sure Nicky gets her things."

"I think I'll wait for her," Red whispered. Suddenly she felt a need to remind her girl of some basic manners. How many times had she been called to this very office on account of Nicky's behavior?

Who knew something that was once so tiny, would grow to become so much work?

Taystee observed her from her position behind the desk. "You look tired, Ms. Reznikov."

"I'm always tired," Red complained, a smile touching her lips. Despite all of the mayhem, she didn't regret Nicky for a minute. If she could, she'd have 2-3 more children. "Kids are a lot of work," she promised, reminding herself silently that she had no time to expand her family. "Don't have any until you're ready."

The door opening behind her kept the young woman from responding and Red smiled as her daughter bound to her side instantly. She embraced her in a hug, savoring the short-lived feel of Nicky's head against her chest.

"Thank you," Nicky mumbled as she pulled away from the warmth of her mother's arms.

Red couldn't help but lean down and kiss her cheek. "You're welcome, honey." gently she caressed her soft skin and allowed her daughter to lead her out of the office by her hand, silently bidding the young receptionist a goodbye. Standing in the hallway, Red pulled her into another hug, kissing the crown of her head. "Stay out of trouble."

"Trouble is my middle name," Nicky said simply.

Rolling her eyes, Red nudged her gently. "You don't have a middle name."

"Nicole Trouble," Nicky mocked. "It's got a nice ring to it."

"Hello, ladies."

Red and Nicky turned to see the principal, Ms. Figueroa, and the assistant principal, Mr. Caputo, heading out of the office they had just left.

Caputo touched Red's arm gently and smiled. "Ms. Reznikov, nice to see you."

"Nichols, are you in trouble again?" Ms. Figueroa asked teasingly.

Red ran her hand over her daughter's hair lovingly. "For once, no," she defended calmly.

"We've got time," Nicky said matter of factly. The day wasn't over yet and she still had gym to get through. No doubt she could stir up some sort of mischief if she so desired.

The duo laughed and wished them a good day before disappearing down the hall and out of sight. Nicky wouldn't tell her mother in these sanctioned hallways, but perhaps when they got home that evening, she'd tell her about the rumored love affair between the two.

"Okay, love," Red said wistfully, drawing the young girl from her thoughts. "I have to go back to work. Be good and I'll see you this afternoon. I'll probably have Gloria pick you up since I left her alone."

Nicky nodded in understanding before turning her head in confusion. "Wait… you left her, so you're going to make her come and pick me up?" Nicky didn't understand how that exactly benefited the other woman.

"Get's her out of the store," Red defended passionately.

Shaking her head in amusement, Nicky couldn't help but question her mother's logic. "But she hates the after school traffic."

"So do I," Red admitted.

Laughing, Nicky understood perfectly. Her mother's good intentions had nothing to do with her business partner's well being at all. "Whatever you say, Ma. Love you." she moved to kiss her cheek and turned to head back to class.

"Love you too," Red whispered. She watched as Nicky walked away, her little feet curving inward in true, pigeon-toed fashion; her large mass of curls bobbing in time with her movements. Her girl was truly one of many wonders.

…

That afternoon, Nicky found herself in gym class. Her arms were crossed over her chest in disdain. She looked to Alex on her left-hand side and rolled her eyes as Mr. Healy called her name out.

"Miss Nichols," he said warningly. "Do you have your clothes?" He stood before her with a clipboard, his pen tapping against the metal clasp repeatedly.

Nicky held up her bag as proof. "Yes. My mother brought them to me earlier," she explained.

At this, the old gym teacher's eyes lit up like fireworks. "Your mother?" he questioned, his tone softening instantly. "She was here?" even if he had tried, Nicky wouldn't have missed his obvious infatuation. He had made it known on numerous occasions, even going so far as to once visit her mother in her shop.

Whatever Russian treat he desired to sample from the menu was none of Nicky's concern, as long as he recognized her mother wasn't an option.

"I can't believe I missed her," he muttered more to himself than to her.

Nicky nodded her head, her lips quirking up into a sudden, mischievous smile. Playing innocent she asked, "you've met her, right? She's about this tall," she gestured with her hand, raising it high above her head. "She's got short brown hair like this," she slanted her hand against the back of her ear.

Healy frowned and he couldn't help but question, "Galina?" he shook his head. "Galina dyed her hair?"

"Oh!" Nicky exclaimed dramatically. "You mean that mom. I thought you meant Gloria!" she couldn't contain her laughter, and Alex chuckling next to her was no help in keeping a straight face. "No, that mom had to work," she lied.

Healy stared at her in question, his features on his face morphing into one of pure surprise. "Oh," he stuttered, awkwardly fumbling with his clipboard as his hands dropped to his side. He shook his head, his throat suddenly dry. "Right," he cleared his throat and skipped over Alex and the petite brunette next to her, Lorna, leaving Nicky without so much as a goodbye.

"Nicky," Alex hissed. "you can't joke with people like that."

Nicky shrugged, talking out the side of her mouth as she once more crossed her arms over her chest. "It's not like he would ask them." she rolled her eyes, her nose turning up at the idea of her mother ever even giving him the time of day. If she'd found out about this little stunt, Nicky would be toast… or pirozhki-- either way, she'd be dead.

"I didn't know you had two moms." Piper, who was on her right, whispered, her eyes focused forward.

Nicky shrugged, a small smirk playing on her lips. She knew something was going on between her mother and Gloria, she just hadn't confronted them on it. She wasn't afforded an opportunity to answer before Mr. Healy called for the classes attention.

"You all have your clothes and we all know that today is the fitness gram pacer test. So, go to the locker room and change. I want to see you all back here in less than ten minutes." He pulled out his black stopwatch, swinging it tauntingly. "I'll be timing you."

…

"What is the fitness gram pacer test?" Lorna asked inquisitively as they reached the locker room. "I don't think we ever did it at my old school."

"The test of death." Nicky corrected smoothly. She shrugged at Lorna's nod and she began into an explanation. "He'll explain once we get out there but basically," she stopped in the middle of the locker room and gestured to the two benches across from one another. "A CD plays and you have to run as many laps as you can," Nicky demonstrated between the two benches. "But you have to go in time of the beep, and it speeds up with every lap."

"If you don't make it in time, then what happens?"

"You sit out and watch everyone else run until the last person can't run anymore," Nicky answered.

Lorna nodded and proceeded to walk to her locker. "Why does everyone hate the test?" she shrugged and popped her lock open instantly. "If we all hate it so much why not just agree to do five laps and all quit at the same time?"

Alex gestured to Janae Watson behind her and rolled her eyes. "Some people are competitive. Last year she ran one hundred laps."

Nicky rolled her eyes, "everyone had given up around forty and fifty."

Lorna's eyes widened in surprise and she turned back to her locker. Alex pushed her glasses up on her head and proceeded to undress, grunting at the stack of unfinished homework glaring at her from inside her bag.

"Nicky," she said, pulling her shirt off over her head. "Can I come over to do the homework from Romano's class?"

"Yea," Nicky answered kicking her hideous, checkered skirt to the ground. "We can eat some pirozhki," she smirked as Alex rolled her eyes and pulled her shorts up over her hips. "Speaking of Romano, if she were an animal, which would she be?"

"A cat?" Alex suggested.

Lorna rejoined the conversation, lacing up her tennis shoes. "I had a cat," she explained, her voice dipping into a sickening, sweet baby talk. "Her name was Waffles."

Cleaning her glasses off on her shirt, Alex raised an eyebrow at her in question. "I'm going to regret this, but Lorna," she pushed her frames back onto her face. "Why did you name your cat Waffles?"

"What else are you supposed to name a cat?" Lorna asked defensively.

"Whiskers?" Nicky suggested, sharing a look of disbelief with Alex.

Before either could respond, Boo's voice carried throughout the locker room. She dumped her huge, messy gym bag out on the floor, cursing loudly as papers and snack wrappers went everywhere.

"Does anyone have an extra pair of socks?" she asked. "I think I left mine."

Lorna cringed in disgust, picking up a ziplock bag that landed next to her feet. "Is this a moldy sandwich?"

Nicky laughed loudly and bent down to pick up what appeared to be a squashed Twinkie. "Okay," she said inspecting the treat suspiciously. "I've always wanted to know this. Do Twinkies last forever?" She thrust it in Alex's face, "I'll give you a dollar if you take a bite."

Alex slapped her hand away. "You're disgusting."

Nicky shrugged and threw it toward Boo. "Just another day in the life, Vause. Don't act so surprised."

Author's Note: Speaking of 'a day in the life', you know what you all need? Awesome stories to read, that make your life better. Check out Author, MinervaSnape394 & her story, You Could Have Come to Me (46 chs & counting, y'all). Also, check out BeForeverYoung, they have a couple OITNB stories. Two of them are more RN centered titled, The Calm Before the Storm & The First Annual Linchfeild Talent Show.