Its always Sunny in Axel

"I don't want to set the world on fire,I just want to start a flame in your heart" -Ink Spots

(I own Nothing)

October 23 2277

Jefferson Memorial , Capital Wasteland

There he was, the man that caused him so much pain. The Enclave's lap dog and the man who killed his dad. The Lone Wanderer glared at the Colonel with a raging passion, behind the visor of his T45-f's Helmet. He already aimed his Wazer Wifel at the Enclave official and was ready to vaporize him. The Colonel however had a annoyed look on his face as he saw the Wanderer, his dog and Sarah Lyons the leader of the Lyons Pride enter the Main Chamber .

"You again."

Augustus Autumn grit his teeth as he saw the power armored Wanderer aiming his rifle at him. "I can't say I'm surprised. You and your ilk seem hell-bent on destroying everything our government has worked to achieve." The Colonel said aiming his laser pistol at the Lone Wanderer. The Wanderer's dog , an Australian Cattle Dog took a defensive stance and barred his teeth showing that he was ready to protect his master. Sarah also kept her laser rifle aimed at the Colonel. Out of the shadows two Enclave Soldiers ,wearing X-01 Power armor armed with a Minigun and Gatling Laser appeared covering Colonel Autumn. The Orange visor's of their helmet glowing. "There's nothing to stop me from killing you this time. Let's end this." Autumn taunted. The Wanderer took a deep breath before saying anything.

Inhale.

Exhale.

"IL BASH YER FOOKING HEAD OPEN YA CUNT!" The Wanderer shouted before he tackled the Colonel to the ground. The two Enclave Soldiers aimed their guns at the Lone Wanderer who was currently busy beating the Colonel to death. Just as they where about to pull the trigger , Sarah shot one of the Soldiers In the head with her Laser Rifle. The Hot laser burning through the Helmet and killing the one welding the Minigun. The other Soldier quickly aimed at Sarah but he felt the gun slip from his hand as the dog pounced on it and started pulling it off the Soldier. With the Soldier pulling his gun back from the Dog , Sarah shot the Soldier a few times in the chest until he died. As she turned back to the Wanderer she was greeted to the sight of the Wanderer still beating the Colonel to death.

" THAT'S . FOR. KILLING. MY. DAD. YA. TOSSER!" The Lone Wanderer said each time his fist connected with the Colonel's bruised and bloated face. By the time he was done , his armored hands were bloody and what was left of the Colonel's face was gore, brain matter and red mush. After a few heavy breaths he spoke up again.

"Mate that felt bloody , fooking good! Glad i got my hands on the Prick!" He announced cracking his Neck. "So whats next mate ?" He asked Sarah . "Oh..By now the Pride, that Ghoul and the Super Mutant should be mopping up whatever opposition is left outside. We should secure the Perimeter. " She said. The Wanderer nodded as he kept his eyes to the doors.

Just then the radio came alive.

"Hello? Hello?... Is anyone there? It's Doctor Li. Something's wrong with the purifier... Please, someone answer!"

Sarah quickly went to the Radio and answered. " Lyons here. We secured the purifier. What is going on ?" Sarah asked worried. "During all of this , the facility took damage. Some of it was probably accidental , but i wouldn't be surprised if the enclave sabotaged the whole thing in the last minute. There is pressure being build up inside and it needs to be released now or the whole thing will blow!" Li answered. The Wanderer made his way to Sarah as he kept listening. "If im reading this right , the chamber is filled with lethal doses of radiation ." Li explained. The Wanderer then spoke back. "OI ! Li its me! Look its not a problem. I can quickly go outside and either get Fawkes or Charon to do this for us! " He explained. "Negative! We don't have that much time! The Purifier needs to be activated NOW! " Li replied before pausing.

"Im sorry , but if there was any other way..."

The Lone Wanderer sighted as he looked done at his feet. "Well...so much for a celebration.." Sarah muttered "So...one of us has to do it...so...should we draw straws or-" Lyons said before being cut off by the Wanderer.

"Il go."

Sarah needed a few seconds to respond back. "Are you sure ?" she asked. "Positive..." He replied. Before entering he heard the dog whine behind him. "Ahh mate...im gonna miss ya. " He said as he knelt down and started scratching the dog behind the ears. "Ya know...yer the first friend i made outside...we have been through so much its bloody amazing...il miss ya , ya wonderful mutt." He said before giving his dog a warm hug. He then stood up and made his way to the purifier door.

"Goodbye Dogmeat..."

As he entered the chamber he quickly turned around. "Sarah...before i go..there is something important i have to tell you." He said has he stared at her , behind the T45-f's helmet. Sarah looked at him with a mix of surprise and curiosity. " When i met ya for the first time , i thought that ye were just a tough girl with a white knight complex...but after all this...i think yer the most wonderful Woman in the entire Capital Wasteland...and i wish we had more time to know each other..." he said. Sarah just realized that he had confessed to her , as her cheeks turned a red."W-What ?!" she asked surprised

That's when the Wanderer froze."Ah bugger...Oh God i fooked it up! I BLOODY FOOKED IT UP!" The Wanderer shouted in realization. "I CAME ON TO STRONG!"

"W-what , no! You didn't you are actually one se-" Sarah was about to explain , but was cut off by the Wanderer's panic attack. "EVEN BEFORE I DIE ,I STILL FIND A WAY TO LOOK LIKE A CUCK!"The Wanderer said again before running towards the console. He then typed.

216.

*Bing

The Chamber started to fill up with more radiation , as even the power armor couldn't protect the user by now. The Radioactive stinging got worse by the second and the Wanderer felt like a million tiny needles where pricing his skin at the same time...

He could feel the blood running down from his mouth as he started coughing. His lungs were burning and he felt his legs give up as he crashed on the floor. He laid there as he started to feel his slow and painful death take over him. He could feel darkness take over him as he slowly closed his eyes and the pain started to ease.

The Lone Wanderer Died.

Somewhere else

Time : unknown.

When he opened his eyes he was met with a Familiar and Unfamiliar sight.

One one hand he could see his HUD from the helmet he wore. He quickly did a Display check. On his right side it displayed his AP , his Fusion Core capacity and Ammo , while on the Left side his health and rad bars. What was strange was that his health and AP were at 100% while he had 0% rads and 99 cores.

On the other hand...

He was sitting on a wooden chair. How the chair didn't collapse from the Power Armor's massive weight he didn't know. All he knew is he was in a Dark Room and in front of him was a White Throne. Even when it was dark he could clearly see his power armored hands, Autumn's blood still staining them.

That was when the headache kicked in.

"Ahh...bloody hell...i feel like that night Clover spiked my drink and the tied me up..." He said to himself after shaking his head.

"Albert Cole." He heard a female voice say behind him.

Albert Cole...his actual name. Not many called him that. Only the ones that personally knew him. Everyone else just called him 'the Lone Wanderer' or 'Wanderer'. So it was already strange hearing his name out of the Blue.

"Welcome to the Afterlife." The voice said. Now that he thought about it the voice sounded like that of an Younger girl. He would guess in her late teens/early twenties. However all of this came to a Halt when he realized what she just said.

"Afterlife"

He fucking died.

"Unfortunately , you passed away moments ago." The voice said. He turned his head to his left to see a Beautiful girl walking by. Unlike most chicks in the wasteland , her clothes didn't look either torn , dirty or even damaged. Her skin wasn't covered in dirt from the wasteland either. she looked cleaner then even a Vault Dweller. Her Outfit consisted of a blue sleeveless shirt with a mini skirt , two pair of blue boots that went up to her knee's and a pair of white sleeve ..thingies..and she wore a green bow tie on her chest...and she had a Pink Scarf floating around her. Before he could ask anything the girl spoke again , as she sat down of the throne. "Your life was a short one , but as a Matter of act : You are Dead."

Albert took a breath in and the exhaled again. He really did fucking die...

In his 19 years , he had experienced so much. Growing up , getting his Pipboy, his graduation , his first day on his job , his first kiss, his first kill , the first time he was called a hero , his first near-death-experience , the death of his father , his first time 'doing it' , the crippling depression he once had, the first Deathclaw he killed , his return to Vault 101, the liberation of paradise falls, the escape from Raven Rock.

And finally...his death.

What of all those he met ? What about the Capital Wasteland ?

What of them ?

He hoped they would be well back there without him. He may be a cunt at times, but in the Wasteland where everyone suffers...he tried his best to help out.

Well he was dead now...did that mean he could rest ?

What about the things he would never be able to do, such as watching the Capital Wasteland return to become green, grow a family...and not die of radiation poisoning.

But ultimately he had to accept his death.

And so he would.

"So i finally passed away..." He asked the girl. "Yes , you indeed did." she replied with a innocent looking smile. He had just noticed that the girl had blue hair...and it didnt look dyed.

"Well...atleast i didn't die in vain..." Albert said to himself as he leaned into his chair.

"Actually...you didn't need to sacrifice yourself..."

...

...

...

"wot ?"

"Heh...well you see , if you had waited a few seconds later , the Super Mutant and Ghoul would have entered and you could have given them the code to activate the purifier." She said in a matter-of-fact way , while having a smug smile plastered on her face.

Was she being serious ?

"How long ?" he asked

" Uhm...10 seconds id say."

10 seconds...he only had to wait 10 FUCKING seconds...

"Keep breathing mate , don't let that get to ya , shit happens and you know that , i mean look at it from our perspective ! We get to see Dad again, and meet Mom!" a little voice said in Albert's head.

As he heard the mention of his Parents , he started calming down. Dad would probably be proud that he sacrificed himself to save the wasteland...and Mom could finally meet her 'baby boy'.

Maybe...maybe things weren't so bad after all...

"Then again , we will never get to sleep with Sarah Lyons and our last words were ' I still find a way to look like a cuck' ..." the same little voice said.

And then Albert snapped .

"MOTHERFOOKER!" He said as he stood up and kicked the chair away.

While he was busy kicking the shit out of a wooden chair and giving people the entire 'British Swears list ' , the Girl on the throne was chuckling. Sure it wasn't ' HA HA' funny , but it was still kinda funny . After a while Albert started realizing that he wasn't even putting a dent of the chair when punching it. He did however notice the Girl's giggling.

"OI, what so fookin funny ?!" He asked in a rather harsh way. "Oh , nothing , its just i have kinda been doing this thing for a while and i haven't had as many amusing moments. "

"AMUSING?!"

She called being irradiated into a glow stick and having a slow and painful death 'Amusing'

"Oh il show ya something amusing..." he said , as she was still giggling while he picked up the chair.

" Shut yer bloody mouth ya gormless Pillock!" he said as he threw the chair at her , with full force. Before the chair connected with her head, the girl stopped he giggling and managed to dodge the flying object.

"How dare you! How dare you strike at a Goddess!" the girl shouted in anger as she pointed her finger at him. The Wanderer took a defensive stance as he was ready to throw down. So this was god ? He couldn't care less if this was Jangles the fucking Moon Monkey. You don't fuck with him! "I could send you to hell if i wanted, you know?!" the girl again exclaimed as she pouted. Albert was tempted to say 'Try me Bitch!' but a little voice in his head told him not to antagonize the pissed off goddess.

The Goddess then composed herself. "However , since you did help a lot of people in your life and Sacrificed yourself for clean water (therefore spreading my name) i will overlook this incident." She said as she crossed her arms and continued pouting.

Albert glared at her for a moment before sitting down on the floor. "Okey so what now oh glorious goddess ?" Albert asked with sarcasm dripping like a damned waterfall.

The Goddess seemed not to have cough on his sarcasm as she responded "Oh , so you don know your place...well i am the Water Goddess Aqua , and i guide those that die young to the afterlife."

"Wait , wait wait., Are ya implying that there are more gods ? " Albert asked. "Why yes , there are multiple gods and goddesses , we are what keeps the universe and multiverse stable. " She said with a bit of Smugness. "As a matter of fact i am one of the more powerful gods...more power then Eris..." She claimed again as she fixed a bit of her hair.

"So , what happens now ?" Albert asked as he adjusted a few things on his Power Armor. "Well there are Two choices." Aqua said .

" Oh ?"

" You can Start from zero and begin a New Life, or carry on and go to Heaven."

"What did my parents choose ? " Albert asked. "Well i don't know that ! They were older then you weren't they ? I only guide young People!" Aqua explained.

"Bugger...hmm...Heaven sounds kinda Nice...how is it there ?" Albert asked as he looked back at Aqua. "Well Heaven isn't exactly the dreamy place all of you think it is ..." Aqua responed.

" It isnt ? Then what the Bloody hell is it ?!" Albert asked , quite confused by this.

Aqua smirked.

"Well , there are no Books , no Television and no Terminals. You lack a physical body and can't fight , dance , listen to music ...have sex...you only lay on a field and bask in the sun all day long." Aqua said .

So that was it...Either start anew and be reborn in the irradiated shithole he calls a home , with a lack of memories and loot...or or lay in peace in a field of green and relax. No troubles...no worries ...no deathclaw surprising him and trying to gut him...just relaxing in the sun for all eternity...

GOD, that sounds FUCKING boring!

"Yea...that sounds-"

"Boring ?"

"Abso-fookin-lutly lass."

"Yea it does and starting over doesn't sound like fun either..." Aqua said with a smug look. Albert knew that look exactly. She was planning something.

"That's why i have a Great offer for you! You enjoy those nerd comics Grognark the Barbarian ? " she exclaimed.

First of all Grognark was NOT a Nerd Comic , but his Childhood icon! Secondly HE WAS NOT A NERD! However he decided to keep his cool about it and just roll with it. "Yea i enjoy things like Grognark and Battlemace 40k . Why are ya asking ?" Albert questioned .

Aqua composed herself before she spoke." In a World in which Peace and Harmony once ruled the land, a Threat has risen!" she announced , trying to sound like Todd Howard at E3. "The Devil King and his Army are Pillaging and Destroying everything in their way! The people live in fear and are waiting for a Hero to save them!" She announced as she stood in a spotlight. " As you can Imagine , people don't want to be reborn in that universe , and due to that the Population is declining." She explained.

So people down right refuse to be reborn it the other world ? How hellish could that world be ? He came from an irradiated shithole...what could be worse then that ?

"So we decided to send People from other worlds there , with there bodies and Memories intact to save it !" Aqua concluded.

Albert had to admit that that was a smart idea. Send a Heavily armed and armored FUCKING WARMACHINE to solve another world's problems , and they could live again.

"Okey , but if people are so much as refusing to be reborn into the other world then i guess you are implying that , the other world is more dangerous then mine...do you think i even stand a chance ? " Albert asked. "Well don't worry about that! You get to choose one power or item to come with you in your journey!" Aqua explained as she sat down on her throne again." The People get someone who protects them , and you get to be reborn with all your memories. Doesn't that sound like a great deal ?" Aqua asked as stared at the Wanderer.

So he gets to explore some new world and kill a guy who calls himself the Devil King ? The new World could be more dangerous then even his...

"Ah fook it , i can explore some shit and get more dosh! " Albert mused to himself.

However a thought crossed his mind. She told him he could take one item of One power of his choosing...but could he still take his guns and armors he was carrying on him...Only one way to find out!

"[Intelligence] Quick question ! I am i allowed to take what i have currently on my body ? Since you can't really send me naked now can you ?" The Lone Wanderer asked.

"[Success] W-WHAT! Of course! i don't want to see you naked you perv! And besides , your armor is gonna run out of juice after a while , so let just say i am giving you a head start...as a goddess's mercy!" A pouting Aqua explained as she tried to hide he red cheeks.

"Did...did she just fooking fall for this...a fookin goddess ?!" Albert thought ,shocked as he just realized he tricked her. She should know that a Pipboy could store Items by Atomizing them and storing them as Data. Heck, he was literally carrying a hundred different items at the same time right now! So technically he was carrying items on him...even if it meant a bunch of different guns, sets of armor , chems , fusion cores, food and trash.

"Oh okey then...so...'powers'..." Albert asked. Aqua jumped into the air and did a pose as hundreds of cards landed on the floor. "Choose! Take one of the Unique Powers!" She Exclaimed.

Albert had spend a few seconds reading a few of the Powers. He wasn't going to lie. The Powers where amazing. The Ability to stop time ? The Strength rivaling Hercules ? Transforming into a Fucking Dragon ? It was all there. However , there is one problem...

The Powers where too Overpowered .

Armor of the hero ? Grants near immortality. Sword of Justice ? Can kill anything with one swing. The Dark soul ? He can literally return from the dead by jumping out of a flame.

Now normally someone would take the most powerful one and leave. Albert Cole wouldn't .

Why ?

In the wise words of John Emerich Edward Dalberg-Acton "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Sure the Wanderer wanted power , but he was already quite powerful and he wanted to earn the power. He didn't want it gift wrapped and with a Cherry on top. It felt more satisfying defeating someone who could kill you in two hits , then you defeating them with two hits. Earned power doesn't Corrupt as much , since a person can look back and remember when they where weak.

"Will you just pick one card already ?" Aqua complained as she continued playing with her fidget spinner. Albert thought for a while...until he had an idea!

"I know what im taking!" He declared as he stared at Aqua. The Goddess finally stood up from her chair and did a stretch before saying "Finally ! So...what will you take?" She asked anticipating the Power.

" I want to take my Dog , Dogmeat with me !" He announced.

...

"Okey i will summon him quickly." Aqua said , as a small Circle next to Albert appeared on the floor. However 2 seconds later Aqua realized her Mistake. "WAIT YOU CAN'T TAKE LIVING CREATURES AS A POWER! " Aqua screamed in realization. But it was too late. A Puff later and there stood a dazed Australian cattle dog.

"DOGMEAT!" Albert shouted in glee , as he hugged his Companion. Dogmeat needed a few Seconds until he realized that he was being hugged by Albert!

His Friend who died ! And now he was petting and hugging him! With an equal amount of glee , the dog jumped on his Master and started licking his helmet! "GOD I MISS'D YA , YA RUNT! "Albert said as he gave Dogmeat the greatest belly rub ever. Dogmeat's tongue was wiggling in and out as he enjoy'd every second of him reuniting with his master and best friend.

Aqua , wanted to say something...but she couldn't...

THE DOG WAS JUST TO ADORABLE!

"OHMYGOSHHEISSOCUTEIWANNAPETHIM!" She shouted in glee as she ran towards the Dog. She then started rubbing the Dog's cheeks. "YOUARESOADORABLEIMGONNAPETYOUANDSNUGGLEWITHYOUYOUADORABLECOOKIEYO-" Aqua said before coming to a halt.

*chomp

Dogmeat bit her hand.

Aqua Screamed in pain as she ran around the place like headless chicken crying and panicking , while clutching her hand. The Lone Wanderer was just giving her a flat stare.

If someone told him a week ago that God, (or rather the Goddess) was a whiny , annoying Girl , with an S.P.E.C.I.A.L Intelligence of 4 , he would have punched you in the face repeatably and then dumped you in a trashcan...but here he was...

"STUPID DOG!" She shouted as she kicked Dogmeat.

Now there are three things one must never do infront of Albert Cole , unless you wish to invoke his wrath.

1. Never talk shit about his Mom or Dad. ( Wally Mack learned it the hard way , and he still sometimes wakes up in the night pissing himself)

2. Never harm a Child

3. NEVER HARM DOGMEAT

"Oh ya fookin bitch , It is ON!" He said as he materialized a Minigun. Aqua, nearly shat a Brick as she saw the barrel of the gun spinning

"ah poop."

She quickly dove behind her Throne as the Bullets started ripping through the air. Realizing that the Throne , like the chair was indestructible , he switched Weapons to his Super Sledge. "ITS FOOKING HAMMER TIME!" He shouted as he charged at Aqua. However , before he or Dogmeat got near Her , a blue transparent light surrounded them. "Wot in the goddamn..." The Wanderer cursed as both he and his Dog started to float towards a light. Aqua started to laugh and point her finger at the Wanderer! "HA HA HA! CAN'T TOUCH THIS!`" She exclaimed as he shook her butt in a mocking fashion. "NA NA NA NA NA NA!" she continued.

Albert just gave her a Glare before exclaiming : " I swear if i see you again IM GONNA -"

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(commercial end)

"-AND THEN IM GONNA DIP EM IN CHILI SAUCE AND AND EAT IT!" The Wanderer exclaimed as he flipped Aqua once more off.

Aqua just gave them a Smug look before saying "Jokes on you ! You have to return first ! And for that you have to Defeat the Devil King! Which i doubt you will achieve with a dumb Mutt!"

" YA BIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-" Albert shouted , before he and his dog got sucked into the portal.

Aqua , sat back in her chair. She will admit , this was the first mortal she met who tried to assault her , but now he was gone and there was no way , that it was going to bite her in the ass later.

( AN/ HA! * Evil Laughter)

Nope...absolutely no way.

A/N : So yea , this is the first chapter. I once published a fic 2 years ago , but it was total cancer and i deleted it when i was realized it. Since then i took a few English classes and learned proper spelling and grammar , so i hope you will not need any radiation suits to read this fanfic. Now an important thing you need to know is that this fic takes place 1 week before Kazuma and Aqua land in Axel. So most of the fic will revolve around the Wanderer learning about the land and meet its people( also if you people have trouble reading His lines...well he has a Cockney Accent). Another thing you need to know is , since i didnt want to make Albert OP i decided to send him out at Level 20 and without any of the DLC weapons/armors. So we have a Mediocre Level Lone Wanderer stuck in a Fantasy world . Also If you have any requests just leave it as a review and tell me what you want. Il be waiting . Adios Guys!