[Sorry to Guest for being so confusing, I guess I should've put a headed when I posted but I wanted two different endings one where Indra leaves for Daryl the other where she stays with Negan. But this is the other ending. My original with Daryl is chapter 9, sorry again and to anyone else who became confused.]

"… there is a difference between being bad and being evil. Just because he was a very bad boy, that doesn´t mean he couldn´t be a truly great man."
― T. M. Frazier

Indra huffed, exerting herself as she pried open the last window. It was too beautiful a day with the autumn air to waste. But her husband had stated she was under 'house arrest.'

Sure, honey, you tell yourself that.

She had gotten much more independent during the last several months, her ever growing belly signaling that someone would be dependent on her soon. That's why she had stayed, well, stayed and left. She wasn't blind anymore. It was war out there, everywhere, and she wasn't going to be in the middle of it. Indra would fight, but knew that she had to pick her battles. And Alexandria wasn't going to back down. And with time, as she had mourned Daryl's departure and moving her things to Negan's room she had begun to observe with new sight. There had always been a sharp glint to many of the eyes of the Sanctuary, but she began seeing something more – the hostility, the resentment, it was like the man's eyes in Alexandria, Rick's. Indra knew with the upcoming bloodshed that some would change sides, some would betray, and she was done.

She had set herself down in their room and awaited him, hand rubbing the slight bump that had begun to show. He had looked at her, the determination in her eyes, and knew it was a fight he was going to lose. He was a stubborn man, and he did argue, just as she knew he would. Saying how he wasn't afraid, how he'd defend what was his, that he wasn't some pussy to turn his tail and run. Then came her rebuttal that no matter what he decided to do - though she wanted him to come with her – she was leaving. His face had slackened like a snowman on a hot day. With that Indra had been victorious. And with careful planning, Negan pretty much threw Simon the reins, telling them to do what the fuck they wanted with the place.

Then came the actual travel, she tried not to complain and it wasn't much she minded: the billowing air and scenery trailing ahead. But the bumpy road and her stomach had other plans, not keeping anything down as you heaved whatever had been taken in. Usually resulting in Negan pulling over and making them both bunk down for the day. Yes, what should have taken a week on the road took nearly three, heading north, far enough away where no one had heard of his name or actions. Somewhere to start over again. It wasn't hard, staying in an old colonial they were approached by a couple from Philadelphia – the city of liberty, saying they had a community there: electricity, water, crops, schooling, and medical care. Though Negan was a bit distrustful he wasn't opposed to seeing the town. And oddly enough they weren't opposed to Lucille, expressing, that even though the town had grown it still could use more bulk on security and defense it required.

Negan didn't club anyone, and neither of you were chased out with pitchforks, but given a nice two story home. It wasn't a suburb like Alexandria, but it was close enough to town to walk to, it was mind-boggling, the community set up as an actual town. In parts it reminded her of the Sanctuary, if you supplied services then you would be supplied with whatever you needed. The town and its people took care of one another. But it was nice to pretend to go to a butcher and get her meat, go through racks of clothes as if she were shopping, such a task before too mundane to even get up for had now become thrilling.

Everyone was friendly and the two of them seemed to blend in well. Negan had taken time to adjust being a regular civilian, a far collapse from up on the ladder of being the leader. But he, like so many things, he had taken it in stride. He had become something of the town sheriff, happy he could carry Lucille around, the kids in the neighborhood staring in awe by such a thing. That was something she loved to see, those interactions with the children. Him forgetting to watch his language and slipping, the curse making the group of them giggle into their palms. He'd let a few of them hold onto the bat, giving it a light swing with his assistance, but she pointed out maybe their parents wouldn't take so kindly that their little ones were handling such a bulky and dangerous weapon.

It was good here, the adjustment to it so easily made. But sometimes she'd have small bouts of sadness. Like today, looking out the window it made her sad, sad of how little you thought of him now. The man that had opened her eyes, made her want to be stronger. Now he only entered her mind when the birds gathered, coming for a nibble of what she'd throw. Every time she spotted a finch she'd ask it to tell Daryl thank you. But Daryl had his family, had people to lift him up in this world, and support him. But all Negan had was her, and Indra knew that feeling, to be so isolated, so alone. And knew it was what she needed – to be truly needed as well as needing him in return. She thought about it sometimes, if she had left the Sanctuary and searched for Hilltop. But then Negan would begin rubbing her belly, little feet pattering against his hand as a smile erupted across his face, his eyes turning to hers in stunned delight that she couldn't help smile in return. No matter what, this was his child, and this was her family, where she belonged.

But it didn't mean he wasn't overbearing at times, like forbidding her from leaving the house. Saying how the stress of walking too far would harm her and the baby. Indra scoffed. She could leave the house if she wanted to, but between the bouts of 'nesting' a term she had cackled at, her child getting her attention from their continuous kicks – something she smiled about, not even born and the baby was as attention seeking as his father, the backaches, the constant need to pee, she was just too exhausted to want to.

Indra had finished rearranging the living room, and scrubbing down the kitchen. Wiping off the suds from the sink she made herself some tea and took it to the porch swing out front. She sipped from the mug, knowing to anyone else's taste buds it'd be too sweet. She craved anything sweet, more accurately junk food and it drove Negan crazy. Nothing else tasted right to her, but he'd still try to push veggies on her like drugs which would end up pushed to the side, much to his chagrin.

"You know, dear husband, one would think you're worried about me getting fat."

Her tone had stayed neutral, but he knew her swings and didn't take the bait.

"I don't give too fucks what you weigh, Indra, but you keep eating all that shit, you're going to get that gestational diabetes then it's going to lead to pre-eclampsia , which will be bad for your fucking lungs and end up with you requiring a fucking C-section. How the hell you think that's going go?"

For that moment she hated him getting all those baby books, hating the fact that he had actually read the things. But she shut up, shoving the tasteless bits he forked onto her plate down her throat.

Indra's head fell back on the wooden headrest, the motion of the swing feeling good on her weighted body. Lately she had begun to feel heavier, like a rock had been dropped to the bottom of her gut. The doctor had stated this was normal, that the baby was moving downward, getting ready for its descent into the world. Lightening he called it, there was nothing light in the feeling she had, though the doctor had been right about her breathing getting better from it. A few more weeks now, and Indra was glad for it. She rubbed her swollen abdomen and as if feeling one of its parent's presence came to bleat the familiar thud in greeting.

"And how are my two girls doing today?"

Negan had made up his mind that the baby was going to be a girl, as she knew he would, a little girl to be called Lucille for him, a little girl with the middle name Lucinda for her grandmother. But though she had taught her to interpret craving for the gender Indra wasn't so sure if there was a sugar, spice and everything nice residing inside her. Especially since the ultrasound had stayed inconclusive.

"Tired, grumpy."

He cocked a brow at that, good humor in his eyes as he climbed the steps.

"And what can I do to ease it for you?"

Get rid of the pangs of nausea, the way I can barely fit my shoes anymore, shave my legs for me, and stop my back from chewing on itself.

The list could go on, but she didn't say anything only shook her head. Complaining didn't get anywhere, and technically it wasn't his fault. Maybe half.

"How about I fix us some dinner and I'll rub you down?"

Indra crooked a smile at him. "I got dinner in the oven, but I'll take advantage of those hands if you're offering."

He waggled his eyebrows, making her blush as he helped her to stand, a long grunt coming out from the effort. She could sense his concern as he stroked her shoulders leaning in to kiss the stubble starting to prickle up on his jaw. As soon as he opened the door she stepped away, waddling towards the kitchen to avoid what she knew was coming and getting out of the line of fire.

"What the hell is this, Indra? You're supposed to be fucking resting!"

It was funny how not too long ago the raised octaves would send her cowering, but now she only shrugged.

"I did, and then I got bored, came downstairs and saw all the dust."

"There isn't any fucking dust! Why would you have to move the couch if you were going to dust any damn ways?"

"Dust get under furniture too, dear."

The playful tone had him spinning on her. "You're doing way too fucking much."

"Look at me, I'm fine, Negan."

He took her face in his hands, the rough callouses like gossamer. "I know, but I don't want you fine just today. I want you to be fine tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after fucking that until we're both too old to give a shit."

She put her hands over his. "I want that too, Negan, but like I've said, you can't expect to sit around all day. Soon there won't be any sitting for a long while, I'm going to be fine, the baby will be fine, and you'll be fine. But you're going to have to get used to this."

"Fine, but it doesn't mean you can't wait til I'm home to help you move shit."

"I'll agree with that, except my back would keep on hurting anyways."

He sunk down to his knees. "Are you giving mommy trouble? You got to quit that girly, she's going to be too damn good to you. I'm the one that'll be bashing heads in when the boys start looking at you."

"Negan…"

He looked up at her, planting a kiss on her stomach before kissing her. "Come on, sunshine, let's get you eat so we can work on getting you some rest."

Indra groaned but let him lead the way.

She thought the baby kicking was what woke her then felt the wetness underneath. She flushed, was it normal to pee the bed, during the last trimester? Then her breath caught as pain washed over, sitting up, gritting her teeth.

"Negan? NEGAN!"

The pain heightened, and she breathed as deep as she could, panting shallow breaths out. Her husband jerked awake beside her, bleary eyed before seeing her in such discomfort. He snapped up then, leaning over to her side.

"Indra, what's wrong? Come on, darlin', you got to tell me something."

She inhaled deeply, letting the pain ebb off. "It's too much, it's not like before, I don't know, Negan it hurts."

"Are you contracting, sunshine?"

She nodded, hurriedly as she doubled back over as another wave hit. She cried out, her husband throwing on his pants before rushing to her, picking her up in his arms.

"We're going, darlin'. It's going to be okay."

She nodded against him, as he hurried her out the door, and though she wanted to ask for a change of clothes, say that it'd be quicker to walk than to take the car, there was no use to it. Every effort was spent on receding the pain, her eyes squeezed shut mouth gaped open as she rocked herself.

"Oh, God!"

"Indra?"

"I'm okay, just get us down there, honey."

The nurses on shift didn't look too stunned to see her being carried in as one helped to strip off her wet gown and placing one of the old hospital ones over her head. She was able to take in that it had rocket ships on it before she choked out another scream.

"Can't you give her something for the fucking pain?"

The woman didn't flinch. "Even if we had the supplies, she's past the point where we could give her one."

Her chest rose and fell rapidly. "I'll be fine. I just want to push."

The nurse checked her, before patting your knee. "Oh, I'll think you'll be able to very soon, I don't think we'll even have to bring the doctor back down here before that time."

"What, she's going to have to give birth without a damn doctor?"

The nurse smiled. "Don't worry her body knows what to do, we're up to date on her condition and we're trained for it. How about you sit with her, keep her calm."

Indra felt him shift behind her, feeling his face in her hair as her head lolled back. The pain gone for the moment.

"You ready to be a daddy?"

She smiled at the nervousness she saw. "As I'll ever be."

Indra let her forehead rest on his cheek, but then she felt another need to push as she tried to sit up. The nurse came back over and checked her under the gown.

"Oh, yeah, you're already there. Come on, daddy you're going to have to help keep her leg up. Here like this."

She pushed back her leg, the angle spreading her making her lean on her elbows.

"If you wanted to, you can feel the baby's head crowning."

She nodded, letting the nurse take her hand though she knew where the baby was emerging. She could feel sparse hairs on the head, and felt the need to cry.

"You can too, daddy."

She shook your head. "I don't know, it's already bad enough he's looking."

"I hate to break it to you, sunshine, but I already know what it looks like down there, hell I've been down there more times than I can –"

"Oh, you can shut the hell up!"

Smug fucker, she wanted to break every bone in that face right then. But then felt the need to push came again, and settled on bearing down.

"Okay, I think one more will do it!"

Indra was drained out, sweat covering every bit of her, the light becoming too hazy and she just wanted to sleep.

"Come on, sunshine."

"Please, I can't."

"You can!"

She twitched. "Don't yell at me!"

He gave a waving gesture. "That's it, get that fire up, damn it, you push goddamn it!"

"I am and when I'm done I'm beating the shit out of you!"

"Fine by me, darlin'."

She inhaled, head back twisting her gut as she pushed with the last of her strength. She could feel a weight lifted, before a wail was heard. The nurse holding the baby up to her.

"It's a boy!"

Indra gave a tired smile, looking to her husband. Negan was staring at the baby, stupefied, as the tiny body was laid under her gown and on her chest. The little wails dwindled, tiny fists pumping as her heartbeat soothed him.

"I'm sorry it's not a girl."

"He's so tiny."

"He is. But he'll grow as big as you soon enough."

"C-can I hold him?"

Indra gave a sarcastic smile. "Can you hold your son? No, you may not."

He snorted at her, taking the blanket the nurse offered before delicately picking up their son. The same awe on his face.

"Hey little man, I'm your daddy. I know I'm an ugly son of a bitch, but I'm going to keep you and your momma here safe and happy, you hear me?"

He pulled the small bundle up to him, giving a light kiss to the baby's forehead. She couldn't help the flutter in her chest from that sight. But her son had other ideas as his face scrunched back up, a cry emitting.

"Hey now. I got you, daddy's got you."

Negan began to rock him, calming the wails. "He has your eyes, sunshine. I was hoping for that."

"He does?"

She hadn't worried about it until then. Who the baby would look like, but as Negan turned him to her an exhalation of seeing the shape and color of her eyes on her child's face made a tear slip out. She sniffled.

"You know, I was prepared for this. But – Lucille means light, and I thought if it was a boy maybe we'd name him Lucien as it means light too. We could call him Luce for short."

"So no Negan Jr., huh?"

"Maybe next time."

His smile widened. "Next time? Luce? Hmmm…what do you think of that, son? I kind of like it. You're a light all right, just like your mom."

More tears leaked from her, and she felt Negan's hand brush her cheek.

"What's wrong, darlin'?"

"Nothing, I'm just so happy. Aren't you?"

He looked between their son and her before grinning again. "I'm the happiest man in the whole fucking world, sunshine."