"Now, it's really simple," Murdoc said for the tenth time. He pointed through the windscreen at the old brownstone building they were parked behind. "You go around to the front entrance, and ... are you listening?"

2D was seated in the passenger seat next to Murdoc, but instead of looking at the indicated building, he was glancing nervously in the rear view mirror at the passenger in the back seat. "But why did you build her? I mean ... why her?"

Murdoc just barely managed to suppress the urge to smack him. At the moment it was more important to get 2D focused, not cowering and whimpering. "Cyborg!" Murdoc barked. "State your purpose."

In a voice that was both Noodle and yet so not Noodle, she replied, "Primary objective: Protect creator at all cost," there was a pause just long enough to be awkward, "... and shred guitar as required."

2D shuddered. "But why HER?" he repeated, his voice rising up to that whiny warbling pitch that made Murdoc want to break things. "I mean, you could have made her look like anybody ..."

"SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE!" Murdoc snapped, then winced. "I mean ... she was useful." 2D stared at him doubtfully. "She was part of the band," Murdoc explained. "MY band. Get it?"

2D nodded, clearly not getting it at all. "So why do we have to steal that All Bran bloke's music? Can't we write our own?"

"It's MY music! He stole it first!" Murdoc all but shrieked. "And we're going to get it back. And by 'we', I mean you."

"But why ..."

This time Murdoc couldn't quite contain himself. His hand shot out and popped 2D on the back of the head. Really not all that hard, Murdoc thought, but the way 2D hunched and grabbed his head with both hands, it may as well have been a brick. Next time it will be, Murdoc thought, but then told himself he was just mentally venting. "Because, you great twit, they'll recognize me! Rather difficult to hide GREEN SKIN, now, isn't it? But you, we can at least disguise."

"Have blue hair," 2D mumbled, still rubbing his head.

Murdoc snorted. "It's a record company. Half the employees have blue hair. Or pink, or purple, or whatever Kool Aid they're drinking these days."

"Oh, yeah," 2D said. Murdoc looked at him, not sure if he was actually showing a rare spark of wit. He decided against it. "So ..." Murdoc reached under the seat, and pulled out a white clown mask. "I've been hanging onto this baby for quite awhile. Saving it for your birthday, matter of fact."

"My birthday was two weeks ago."

"WHATEVER!" Murdoc managed not to strike 2D again, or worse, damage the mask. "Point is, this is no ordinary mask. It's magic!"

2D just stared at him.

Murdoc held up the mask in one hand, and ran the fingers of his other hand over it like a game show hostess, "It will make you the opposite of what you are now. Put it on, and you'll be both clever and brave."

2D reached for it, clearly not believing a word, but Murdoc raised a hand and 2D cringed back. "Not just yet. Now pay attention, this is exactly what you have to do." He lifted 2D's left arm and jammed the mask under it. "Just carry it inside, like that. Go through the front doors, and to the lift. If the front desk bird tries to stop you, just tell her you have a delivery. Get on the lift. Now listen to me, this is the most important part!"

2D nodded, though he glanced once more at Cyborg Noodle behind them. She sat still and creepy as a mannequin.

Murdoc grabbed 2D by the chin and forced his head around to look him in the eye. "When the lift doors close. NOT BEFORE! When they close, you put on the mask so it covers your face! Do you understand?"

2D's eyes were like two reddish-black marbles, impossible to tell if there was a spark of actual human thought behind them or not, but he said, "Yes."

Murdoc released 2D's face and rummaged in the glove box, pulling out a marker. He grabbed 2D's right wrist and yanked so hard, he got a yelp in response. "Give us your hand," Murdoc ordered. 2D opened his palm, and Murdoc wrote on it. "Two-three-two-three," You enter that on the lift keypad, and you keep the mask on. Do you hear me? Keep. It. On!" He emphasized this by circling, then underlining the number, before giving 2D back his inked hand.

"Keep the mask on," 2D repeated.

"And ..." Murdoc rummaged in the glove box again and pulled out a pair of cheap Ray-Ban knock offs. "Put these on until you get in the lift to hide those boated prunes you call eyes."

2D took the sunglasses with a sad grunt. His head was starting to droop like an unwatered blue flower.

Murdoc continued, "After you punch in the code, the lift will take you straight down to the vaults. The tapes should be easy to find. They'll have 'PB' and some numbers on the labels, 'Plastic Beach', get it? Grab 'em, get back on the lift, to the lobby, out, and we're on our way. Easy peasy!"

"Right," 2D said, his voice conveying zero confidence.

"Now repeat it all back to me," Murdoc ordered. "What do you do first?"

Close to two hours later, Murdoc was finally satisfied that 2D was properly programmed with the task at hand, and he unlocked the car doors. As 2D reached for the handle, Murdoc warned, "If you screw it up, I will send HER," he pointed at Cyborg Noodle, "after you, and I will personally tattoo THAT," he pointed at 2D's inked hand, "with a rusty needle. Permanently. For starters. Now go!"

When 2D was no longer in sight, Murdoc said, "Is the bug transmitting?" Cyborg saluted smartly. Murdoc turned on the car radio and leaned back in his seat. "Good, pipe it here." The radio crackled, then a candy bar advertisement was replaced by the sound of 2D angrily grumbling what a complete bastard Murdoc was, and wondering how could he have ever liked him. Murdoc shrugged and waited.

2D exchanged brief greetings with a clearly disinterested receptionist, and then there was silence for a couple of minutes. Murdoc assumed 2D was waiting for the lift. Sure enough there was a "ding!" Footsteps ... and then 2D gave a little gasp.

"All right?" another voice said. Someone else had gotten on the lift with him!

Murdoc bit his lip, but after a moment, he heard 2D's now slightly muffled voice say, "All right," in return. He had put on the mask. "Good lad!" Murdoc said, half under his breath, as if 2D could hear him. "Now, for the love of all that's evil, use your half a brain cell and wait for the tosser to get out before punching in the code."

"What floor?" the other voice asked. There was a too-long pause, then 2D said, "Twenty three?" Murdoc winced. The building was only four stories tall. After an even longer pause, the other voice said, "One of Jamie's crew?"

"Uh ... yes?" 2D improvised. There was a ding and the sound of the lift doors opening. "Better try fucking France, then." The doors whooshed shut. 2D made another gasping sound, followed by panting.

Murdoc let out a relived breath of his own. "Hold it together," he murmured. "Come onnn ... just keep calm, and carry on, and get Mudsy the nice tapes. There's a good boy."

2D's breathing finally slowed. Then he said out loud, "Two, three, two ... and three! Right!" He sounded almost like he was starting to enjoy himself. He also sounded ... un-muffled. Murdoc sat bolt upright and screamed at the radio, "He's taken off the bloody mask!"

As if in response, the radio gave off a high pitched wail. Murdoc couldn't tell if it came from 2D or some kind of electronic feedback. There was a loud burst of static, and some classic rock tune started fading in.

"Get him back!" Murdoc shrieked at Cyborg. "The signal! Get it back ... NOW!" She saluted, and after a few tense moments, the music faded and there was just a strange whistling and ... faintly at first, then louder, 2D. He was sobbing and gibbering in panic. "Oh, no. Ohh nooo! Where am I? What ... help? It's so dark. What do I do?"

Murdoc slammed his fist into the dashboard and left a slight dent. He didn't even feel the pain. He momentarily regretted not being completely honest with 2D about the studio's supernatural security measures that the mask had been custom created to counteract. Not that Murdoc was even entirely clear on the details himself, though the phrase "cold black abyss" was thrown around a lot when he was purchasing it. "Why did you take it off, you complete utter knob?" he asked the radio. 2D's voice just whimpered, then was drowned out by another burst of static.

"That's it," Murdoc announced to nobody in particular. "It's over. Done before it started. Buh-bye Gorillaz, it's just me and My Fair Robot now!" He pulled out his keys and jammed them in the ignition. "I'm getting hysterical," flashed through his mind. "I'm getting drunk," counteracted it. "Very drunk. Very soon. Yes ..." He started the car.

Another burst of static from the radio, "What do I do?" 2D's voice pleaded. "Please! Somebody? Murdoc? What do I DO?" The last word was punctuated by a oscillating whistle and then the regular radio station faded back in, Roger Daltry mincing on about blue eyes, or some rubbish.

Murdoc turned off the car and just stared at nothing for a few moments. "Cyborg," he finally said, his voice cold and calm. "Is the bug still transmitting?"

She saluted. "Affirmative."

Murdoc sighed. "Activate tracking mode."

As they got out of the car, Murdoc considered and rejected half a dozen approaches. He popped the boot and lifted up the spare tire flap - underneath was a small, hand-carved wooden box. He lifted it out carefully and opened it to reveal a glass vial, clouded with age. "I was saving this for the Boogieman, but ah, well." He removed the vial and slipped it in his pocket. "Always preferred the more direct approach, anyway." He slammed the boot shut. "Lock and load, love." Cyborg hefted her favorite semi-automatic and beamed a terrifying grin.

They strode through the front door and up to the receptionist desk. The woman behind the desk had hair an almost identical color to 2D's, cut in a cute, 60's style bob. She was stunning. "Focus!" Murdoc chided himself. She was typing something on a out-of-date looking computer terminal and barely spared a glance up a their approach. "You're early," she said in a American accent. "Party's on the roof. Go on up."

Murdoc bit down on the dramatic speech he had prepared, all about how Cyborg was going to start world war three and a half if he didn't get exactly what he wanted, exactly how he wanted it. "Oh, ah ... great!" Murdoc managed a strained, yet casual tone. "Love the hair, by the way." She spared another glance. "You look just like them. Fantastic! Elevator's over there."

"Uh ... thanks," Murdoc nudged Cyborg away. "'Elevator'?" He muttered to himself, "Oooh, let's all get on the el-e-vator, then. And what did she mean 'like them'? I'll have her know ..." He and Cyborg entered the already-open lift and Cyborg immediately pointed to a object lying abandoned in a corner: 2D's sunglasses. Murdoc scooped them up and held them out to her. "Get his scent." Cyborg looked at the glasses, then at Murdoc, then at the glasses again. "It was a JOKE," Murdoc said. Cyborg just waited.

"The real Noodle would have laughed at that."

Cyborg waited.

"Just joking again, she would have hated it." This time Cyborg vibrated slightly, then her mouth opened in a gruesome imitation of a smile. "HAAA!"

"Huh." Murdoc made a mental note to look into her programming, if they survived this mess (doubtful). He pressed the 'roof' button. "El-e-vator going up!" he said snidely. The doors closed and the lift started to move. He pulled the emergency knob, and the lift abruptly stopped, as a loud bell sounded.

"Cyborg, program secondary objective."

She froze, still grinning, made a slight whirring sound, then a single, sharp beep.

Murdoc thought for a moment. "Okay. Initiate if creator is ... off line. One: Locate and extract primary target - that's 2D."

Cyborg beeped again.

"Two: Locate and extract previously indicated tapes. Give 'em to 2D. If anybody can do something worthwhile with them ... " he trailed off and looked gloomy.

Another beep.

"Three: Locate Russel Hobbs. There's been rumours on the underground about a sea monster of some sort, and he seems involved. Load of bollocks, of course, but there's nearly always a grain of truth in rumour. Sort it out."

A third beep.

Murdoc took a deep breath. "Right." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the vial. "Hold on to whatever you've got," he advised her, "Because I honestly have no idea what I'm doing." He punched 2323 on the lift keypad.

He stuck his tongue out its full length as the facial recognition beams scanned them. "Here's a pretty picture for your scrapbook, suckers!"

All his senses were assaulted at once, but he was expecting that. He closed his eyes and concentrated, doing his best to block out what he assumed (hoped) was at least partly just a smoke screen of noise designed to disorient and frighten. He breathed shallowly through his mouth to minimize the burning, sulfur fumes. The cold was bitter and sharp, but he quietly hummed, "The cold never bothered me, anyway, let it go." Say what you will, he thought, it was a damned catchy song. And then he just focused, letting his instincts (the natural talent of which he was most proud) take over and sift through the chaos. He was banking on whatever festivities were happening on the roof (and the quantity and quality of certain substances which were sure to be flowing freely) to delay dispatch of any serious security forces. They probably figured their little spoopy holding cell would be a enough to contain intruders in the meantime.

And ... there. Amidst all the wailing, howling, and other freaky noises ... a quiet, very human sob. Murdoc resisted opening his eyes, and just made his way carefully toward the sound. "Cyber!"

He heard the 'thwack' of her sharp salute nearby.

"Scan for threats."

A pause, "Area clear!"

"Wait ... really? All of it?" Murdoc was still having to concentrate with all his might to block out the sense that he was entirely surrounded by danger.

"Clear," Cybord repeated. "We are in a twenty three by twenty three meter room, unoccupied except for creator, cyborg, and target."

Murdoc risked opening his eyes, and was nearly swamped with a jolt of terror. All was dark, but not quite pitch dark. There were swirling masses just out of reach. Large, undulating shapes, ready to envelop and smother him. The effect was paralyzing. He quickly closed his eyes again. "Well, I'll be damned - again. I gotta get me one of these for Plastic Beach!"

He made his way toward the earlier-heard sob, reaching one hand out carefully and encountering nothing ... then he stumbled and almost fell over a huddled shape on the floor. "Oh." He reached down and felt ... hair.

2D's voice shrieked and the hair jerked back from his touch. Murdoc shouted to be heard above the artificial, but very convincing racket. "Hey, it's me! come on, move your ar..." a hand brushed across his face, and Murdoc almost screamed himself. He smacked it away.

"M-Murdoc?"

"No, it's Santa Claus. Yes, of course. Look, we need to move ..."

Arms clutched him around the waist and nearly pulled him off his feet. "Oh, for the love of ... yes, okay, just calm d... ugh, CYBORG!"

"Sir!" so close to his left ear, this time he did shriek.

"DON'T DO TH ... oh, forget it." He raised the vial. "See you all in hell." He flung his hand down hard and let go. The sound of shattering glass, then ...

Just an alarm bell. Murdoc opened his eyes. All three of them were back on the still-stalled lift. "Oh, well, that was easy." The lights flickered and the lift shuddered. "Remind me to never say that again."

Cyborg hefted her gun. "Unknowns approaching."

"Okay, kids, we gotta go!" Murdoc reached down and pried 2D's arms from around his waist. They snapped like springs around 2D's own legs as he curled on the floor in fetal position, burying his face in his knees. Murdoc grabbed him by the upper arms, hauled him up, and shook him hard. "We don't have time for this!"

2D hung like a ragdoll from his grip. Murdoc was amazed a grown human male could weigh so little. 2D stared right through him. "It's ... it's too much," he sputtered.

"Cyborg, doors!" Murdoc ordered. The android jammed her fingers between the closed lift doors and forced them open. They were stuck between floors, but there was just enough space near the top to squeeze out.

"Too much. Just ... can't," 2D whispered. Murdoc shook him again, but managed to make his voice silky soft. "Look ... mate. Let's just get out of here, and I promise a nice, long vacation in a tropical paradise, where you can therapize and de-traumatize to your heart's content, but for now we need to go."

2D blinked and seemed to finally see him. "Go?"

"That's right ... gooo," Murdoc practically purred. 2D started to lose focus again. "Screw it. Cyborg!" Murdoc flung 2D at her, and she caught him around the waist and hauled him up under one arm, gun dangling from her hand. "Trade you," Murdoc said and took the gun. "Ready?" Cyborg grinned that scary grin, and tightened her grip on 2D who just moaned.

"Here goes nothing!" Murdoc hauled himself out of the lift, and covered while Cyborg managed to pull herself and 2D up and out. They were in a large, but unoccupied office space separated into dozens of small cubicles. "Hell indeed," Murdoc murmured. Across the room, opposite the lift, large double doors rattled and someone shouted, "In here!"

Murdoc glanced quickly around. There was a number of potential exits. Windows, other doors, even the ceiling or floor were possibilities.

Cyborg looked at him, waiting for orders.

Murdoc shrugged. "My dear detested father always said the quickest route from point A to point B was a straight line." He raised his gun and fired high, across the top of the double doors. There was satisfying shouts of surprise and the sound of footsteps retreating. "Lady-robots and bassists first!" Murdoc shouted and they charged at, and with a powerful kick from Cyborg, through the double doors and into a hallway. Nobody was in sight, but Murdoc figured they had precious seconds, at best. He spotted what they needed about twenty meters to their right. "Stairwell!"

Shots rang out, and Murdoc - again aiming high - returned fire (he was counting on the likelihood that the record company security was not accustomed to genuine firefights). They made it through the door and started leaping down flights of stairs so quickly, Murdoc lost count. Then, just like that, they were back in the lobby. The receptionist was still there, but just gawped as they charged through and out the door. Murdoc tried to think of a clever parting line, but only managed, "Call me!" Russell would have mocked him for days if he'd been there to hear it, Murdoc thought.

They were across the lot and mere steps from the car, when a few 'cracks' of gunfire went off behind them. Murdoc ducked, dug for his keys, fumbled the gun and managed to fire a few more shots up in the air as he got the door open. He spun around, and heard one more shot. A few steps behind him, Cyborg's head snapped forward and she dropped to her knees. 2D went flying out of her grip and half rolled, half skidded across the pavement between her and Murdoc.

Murdoc ducked and using the open car door as cover, he leveled his gun straight at the single rent-a-cop who'd followed them out of the building, and who was now aiming his own gun at Murdoc's fallen companions. Murdoc squeezed off a single shot, which whistled past the guard's head close enough to graze an ear. "No magic protections out here, mate!" Murdoc called to him. "And my next shot won't be a miss!" The guard slapped a hand over his ear, saw the blood, and beat a hasty retreat back towards the building.

2D was lying face-down. Murdoc scrambled over to him, flipped him over and sputtered, "Are you hit? ARE YOU HIT?!" 2D blinked, looked around, then gasped when he saw Cyborg Noodle lying nearby. He lurched to his feet, pushing past Murdoc. "Noodle!"

She was lying on her back, but at hearing her human counterpart's name, she sat straight up. There were a smoking bullet hole in her forehead. She twitched and made an odd buzzing sound. 2D stopped short and stared at her.

Murdoc put a hand on 2D's shoulder from behind. "It's not her." 2D turned at looked at him, his face openly anguished, and for a brief fraction of a second, something passed between them. Then it was gone and 2D just turned away and got in the car." Murdoc sighed. "Cyborg. Can you walk?"

She saluted, buzzed and fizzled a bit, but managed to half walk, half stumble to the car and climb in the back seat. Murdoc fired up the engine and slammed on the gas. Nobody followed them.

They drove in silence for awhile. It had grown dark, and they reached open highway, which they had mostly to themselves. 2D hunched in his seat, occasionally casting glances back at Cyborg. Murdoc couldn't tell if he was concerned or still frightened of her. Probably both.

"So ..." Murdoc finally said. 2D winced and shook his head. Murdoc bit down on his irritation. He was going to try and think of something nice to say, but ... "You blew it," he said instead. 2D hunched up a bit tighter and turned to look out the passenger window. "I saved your life," Murdoc continued.

"Wouldn't have needed saving if you hadn't sent me in there in the first place," 2D grumbled, still staring out the window.

"I don't know why I bother!"

"Neither do I!"

"And you got Cyborg shot, trying to save your useless skin. Just look at her!" Murdoc felt bitter satisfaction that 2D actually turned and looked, and appeared to feel bad. "And the tapes ..."

"All Bran's tapes."

"MY tapes!" Murdoc corrected. "Lost! Never get another crack at them, now. I blew my last bit of alchemy breaking you out of that place.

Cyborg sputtered from the back seat. "Ta-a-a-a-pes."

Murdoc slammed on the breaks so hard, they almost skidded off the road. He regained control, quickly pulled over, and twisted around to face Cyborg. "What was that?"

"T-taaapes ..." her voice crackled, and a couple sparks shot out of the hole in her forehead. With jerky movements, she managed to stick her right hand into her vest, and pull out a single thumb drive. She passed it to Murdoc who held it up to the roof lamp and squinted. It had "PB demos" and a range of dates written on it in felt tip.

"This ... this is it! This is them!" Murdoc spun back around. "How ..?"

"S-secondary ob-ject-t-tive t-two," she sputtered.

"Good girl!" he reached back and slapped Cyborg on the knee. Another spark shot out of her head. "Ah, right. I'll get you fixed up in no time, love, once we get back to Plastic Beach. Ha-ha!" he turned to 2D, who was just staring straight ahead into the darkness. "And I promised you a 'vacation', as well."

"Wanna go home," 2D said.

Murdoc felt a snarl rise up in his throat. "You can go home after you sing this album, and not before!"

2D shuddered.

"Well, after that and then we tour it around a bit. Can't leave the fans out in the cold, after all," Murdoc added thoughtfully.

2D spun around suddenly and jabbed a finger at the thumb drive Murdoc was still holding. "That's not a tape!"

Murdoc blinked. "Eh?"

"You said TAPES! That's not tapes, that's not even tape."

Murdoc burst out laughing. "You are such an IDIOT! Of course Albarn covered his thieving tracks by digitizing it. Maybe even re-recorded MY demos! The point is, I got 'em. I WIN!"

2D balled his fists and for a moment, Murdoc thought he was actually going to throw a punch. To his disappointment, 2D just pounded his own thighs with them. "I ... I don't ... know. I don't ... "

Murdoc just sat back in his seat and said dryly, "Oh, do take your time."

"I DON'T CARE!" 2D yelled. Murdoc actually leaned away in surprise at the force of his anger. "I don't care whose songs they are. It's TOO MUCH! It's just ... overload! You sent me into that horrible place, and I'm never going to forget it! I can't FORGET! It's ... too much. I just want to ..."

"Go on," Murdoc goaded.

2D took a deep breath. Murdoc thought he was going to start crying, but instead he got eerily calm. "I'm not as stupid as you think, Murdoc. I get confused, but ... not stupid."

"And yet," Murdoc said, "You took off the mask."

"No eye holes."

"You ... what?"

2D took the mask off the top of his head and held it up. "There's no eye holes. I couldn't see to punch in the numbers."

Murdoc gaped at it. "I ... ah. Oh."

2D actually started giggling. "You didn't know."

"Um ..."

The giggle erupted into hysterical laughter. Murdoc made a mental note to track down a fresh batch of 2D's favorite opiates and a large bottle of chloroform, ASAP. "Yes, all right," he said and gritted his teeth.

2D's laugh stopped as suddenly as it started. "Wait, what?"

"I said all right."

"Y-you admit it?"

Murdoc felt the last of his temper fray. "I really could have left you there, you know. In fact, you know what? I almost did!" He reveled in 2D's wince. "Oh, yes! You could still be there right now. Cyborg! Replay!"

Cyborg sparked and shuddered, then opened her mouth. A flat electronic voice played out of it: "Secondary objective one: Locate and extract primary target - that's 2D. Give him the tapes. Secondary obj ..."

"Not that bit! I mean ... that's wrong. She's malfunctioning!" Cyborg clamped her mouth shut.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. avoiding looking at each other, or much of anything else. Finally, 2D said in a sullen voice, "Thanks. I guess."

Murdoc shrugged and mimicked 2D's tone. "You're welcome. I guess."He started the car back up and pulled out onto the empty highway.

###