I don't own Merlin, please don't sue me.
Texts between Arthur and Merlin, I hope this isn't too bad :) This is a modern AU if you didn't already assume that
Collaberation with I'mThatAcroBat (Hers is way better than mine)
-BLAH-
M: Arthur
M: Answer my calls
M: I'm stuck I need help
A: Merlin it's four in the morning, you'd better have a reasonable explanation for this
M: I'm stuck in a tree
A: Please explain to me why you're climbing trees in the middle of the night
M: There was a cat...
A: Tell me again why they call you the greatest warlock to ever walk the earth?
\|/\|/
(Based on true events)
A: MERLIN
A: MERLIN COME TO THE FLAT AT ONCE
A: I HAVE AN EMERGENCY
M: What is it? I'm at work
A: A BABY BIRD FELL DOWN THE SEWAGE DRAIN WHILE I WAS TRYING TO SAVE IT
A: HELP ITS GONNA DIE
A: GET OVER HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. AND BRING YOUR MAGIC
ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
M: I just watched the footage from the new security camera I enstalled in my room...
M: Why have you been whispering things to me while I sleep?
A: It's called brainwashing, I have seen it on several films
M: First of all, that is completely fake. Second of all, that is insanely creepy. Third of all, what were you trying to brainwash me for?
A: I was confining you to let me keep that leapord...
M: I have told you a million times why we can't keep wild dangerous animals in the flat
A: But it's so pretty Merlin!
34343434
A: MERLIN
A: THE CEILING IS ANGRY WITH ME
A: I BURNT THE SLICED CRISPED BREAD YOU CALL TOAST
A: THEN THERE WAS SMOKE
A: THE THE MAGIC DETECTOR STARTED SCREAMING AT ME AND WONT STOP
A: PICK UP THE PHONE MERLIN
M: Is anything on fire?
A: NO
M: You'll be fine
A: MERLIN NO COME BACK
xoxoxoxoxo
M: You ate all the oreos
M: I'll be right back. I'm going to the pet store
A: Why? What are you getting?
M: A tarantula
A: NO IM SORRY I WILL PURCHASE MORE OF THE OREO COOKIES
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(Based on a true story)
M: Arthur
A: Yes?
M: Are you on drugs
A: No. Why would you assume that?
M: *sends picture of white powder in tube*
A: I purchased that at the market yesterday, it's called fake snow
M: Oh. That makes sense I guess. You're too stupid to know where to get drugs anyway
A: What did you call me, dollophead?
M: You heard me. And that's my word, prat
##########
A: Merlin there is a strange creature vibrating in our living quarters. Should I kill it?
M: Leave the cat alone
A: Merlin how do you work the magic well again?
M: It's not magic, it's a sink
A: Of course it's magic. Where else would the water come from
M: The pipes?
A: Blastphemy
(*´∇｀*)
A: I SEE MORGANA ACROSS THE STREET. PREPARE FOR BATTLE
A: I AM GATHERING MY EQUIPMENT
A: VENGENCE WILL BE CLAMED ON THIS DAY
M: ARTHUR NO
M: THATS THE LANDLADY
M: STOP BEFORE YOU GET ARRESTED
A: NO DUNGEON CAN CONTAIN ME
M: DID YOU NOT LEARN YOUR LESSON LAST TIME?
M: Call my phone I can't find it
A: What's in your hand then?
M: Nevermind
%%%%%%
A: What is this thing called cosplay?
M: It's kind of like a costume... why do you ask?
A: I may have worn my battle armour and sword out today. I received lots of attention and citizens wanted my photograph because they thought I was cosplaying as some "holy knight".
A: Then I drew my sword and valiantly told them I was no knight, I was a king
M: You need me to bail you out don't you
A: Yes
5676767676767
A: MERLIN
A: MERLIN HELP
M: What? What is it?
A: I HAVE DISCOVERED ANIME
A: IT HAS MY SOUL
M: *gasp*
(。-∀-)
(Based on a true story)
A: Do you finally remember who wrote that song we were talking about?
M: John...
M: John Farmer?
A: It amazes me how you can remember all the lyrics to the song but you can't seem to remember this one name
M: You're the voice try and understand it...
「「「「「「「「「
M: Hey I forgot to ask why you were limping this morning
A: I was trying to be one of those "ninjas" I saw on TV
M: ...
M: You know what I'm not gonna ask
(Knights group chat)
G: so i was thinking
M: Oh no that can't be good XD
G: if we were from dc comics who we be
Leon: *who would we be.
P: I would be superman. I'm the strongest
M: I call Batman. I am so totally Batman. I'm so secretive and mysterious...
Leon: You know what? Leave me out of this.
A: Lancelot, you shall be Jason Todd. You died remember?
Lance: How is that fair? We all died except for Percy Leon and Merlin
M: Technically I've died more times that all of you combined. I'm immortal remember?
E: But only Lance comes back
Lance: Oh yeah... but I died three times, not once
G: no u dies twice
Leon: died*
Lance: Trust me, it was three times
A: I would like to be Green Lantern, he is the best hero
M: Not true. Batman is
E: Which GL?
A: There is more than one?
Lance: Arthur, its only fitting for you to be Aquaman. You share the same name after all
M: What about you Elyan? I say Cyborg
E: I guess that's alright
A: So I'm not Green Lantern?
P: No, you're Aquaman.
A: I wanted to be Green Lantern...
G: GUYS GUYS I KNOW WHO I AM
M: Who?
G: WONDREWOMAN
Leon: Wonderwoman*
E: You're drunk aren't you?
G: three beers dont coutn as drunkk
Leon: count as drunk*
SSSSSSS
(Based on a true story)
M: Arthur
M: I need you
M: Come here it's an emergency
A: What is it? Are you in danger? Do I need Excalibur?
M: There's a roach in the bathtub. Help me get it outside.
A: I'm bringing my sword. Prepare to die, insect
M: NO ARTHUR DONT KILL IT
A: IT HAS INFILTRATED OUR WASHROOM. SOUND THE WARNING BELL
M: ARTHUR NO
LOLOLOLOL
A: Merlin I have seen the film "The Sword In The Stone"
M: I thought I hid that from you...
A: Yes I found it under your bed
A: This film is innacurate. Why are you portrayed as an old man?
M: Don't ask...
4545454545
A: Merlin
A: I drank all of your canned drinks
M: Which ones?
A: The big green ones. I had one and it was so delicious that I had to drink the rest
M: The Monster Energy drinks? How many did you have?
A: Approximatley five
M: I'm picking you up, we're going to the doctor's office right now
[[[[[[[[[[
(Based on true events)
A: Merlin I had a dream that I dyed your cat black with some strange spray ink and then you got angry with me so as a punishment you drew a flying dragon insect on my face.
M: A dragonfly, Arthur
M: ...But who says that was a dream?
A: Why did I wake up in your flat on the couch wrapped tightly in blankets?
M: You came over last night and grabbed the wrong drink
M: The on you kept insisting on freeing all the inflatable pool ducks. I had to swaddle you. You were so drunk you kept calling me mother.
A: That explains a lot
A: Remember that one instance where you fed me rat soup?
A: As payback I have replaced all of the music selection on your mobile cellular device with the 'Kidz Bop' music you hate so much
M: ARTHUR PENDRAGON YOU MADE ME EAT THAT STEW TOO
A: I don't recall that...
AHH LOOK A BREAKLINE :D
M: *sends pictures of tarantulas*
A: MERLIN STOP. THOSE BEASTS ARE TERRIFYING
M: Then admit that you watched four seasons of Supernatural without me
A: ...
M: *sends more pictures*
A: FINE FINE OKAY I DID
M: Anything else you need to fess up to?
A: I was going through your stuff and I found American Girl dolls in the back of your closet
M: If you keep quiet about that you'll never see another tarantula again
A: Deal
LAST BREAKLINE Y'ALL
A: How do you operate this huge metal contraption?
M: Arthur get out of the car
A: But I want to operate the machinery
M: ARTHUR NO
A: I pushed a panel and it is now vibrating
M: ARTHUR PENDRAGON STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW
M: DONT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE
M: ANSWER MY CALLS
M: ARTHUR DONT YOU DARE DRIVE THAT CAR
M: YOU WILL KILL SOMEONE
A: I see how this contraption works. This big box washes the clothing
M: Thank god...
M: You need to stop doing these things to me and get educated about this world.
-A/N-
OH MY LORDY JESUS this took forever. I had to retype the whole thing so I hope you enjoyed it. Most likely gonna continue, please reveiw! That would be so helpful.
Please check out I'mThatAcroBat's version! It's amazing :)
I really hope you enjoyed, review if you did! ^_^